The Cradle in the Grave

by Sophie Hannah

  ‘Did the nurse have any proof Helen had tried to kill Rowan?’ Simon asked. The only way he could deal with this was practically, by trying to fill in the gaps in the story, focusing on the Yardleys instead of on the Snowman. He’s not baring his soul, he’s filling you in on the background. Relax.

  ‘Paul and Helen were known at the hospital,’ said Proust. ‘First Morgan and then Rowan had several ALTEs—apparent life-threatening events. Both boys stopped breathing every now and then, for no reason that anyone could identify. Some sort of biological deficiency, I suppose – the most obvious explanation, but it didn’t occur to the troublemaker who called the police. She called twice, the second time several hours after the first. Anonymously – no doubt she was ashamed of her despicable behaviour, and worried we’d taken no notice of her first attempt to spread poison.’

  Whenever he heard the phrase ‘no doubt’, Simon doubted. Couldn’t a baby’s health go rapidly downhill as a result of damage previously inflicted by a parent, even if the parent wasn’t present when the deterioration took place? He wanted to ask if there was anything else, apart from Morgan and Rowan Yardley’s ALTEs, that had given the hospital staff cause to suspect their mother. Instead he said, ‘Everyone working this murder ought to know all this.’ A desperate attempt to block intimacy. Simon couldn’t stand Proust telling him anything he wouldn’t as readily have told Sam Kombothekra, or Sellers, or Gibbs. ‘When we’re not on shift, we should all be reading up on the background: Helen Yardley’s trial, the appeal . . .’

  ‘No.’ Proust stood up. ‘Not when there’s no reason to assume her death is linked to any of it. It could have had as much to do with her physical appearance as with her imprisonment for murder. Judith Duffy, Sarah Jaggard, Rachel Hines, Laurie Nattrass – talk to those four, but no one else on your list, not yet. If we can avoid swabbing Elizabeth Geilow and Dennis Wilson for gunpowder residue, let’s do that. Come to think of it, let’s make it six: interview Grace and Sebastian Brownlee too. I’ve yet to come across a juror murderously obsessed with a case he heard thirteen years ago, but adoptive parents, paranoid their daughter might one day want to have a relationship with her biological mother, when the mother is someone as admirable and inspiring as Helen Yardley?’ Proust nodded, as if making up his mind.

  At what stage did he decide she was innocent? Simon wondered. The first time he met her? Before that, even? Was his staunch support of her a kind of contrariness, two fingers in the face of Superintendent Barrow’s assumption that she was guilty? Could Proust have been in love with Helen Yardley? Simon flinched; the idea of the Snowman as an emotional being was repulsive. Simon preferred to think of him as a problem-making machine, human in appearance but in no other respect.

  He held out his hand for his list of names. If he left it in here, it would end up in the bin.

  ‘First thing I did when I got to the hospital and saw what was happening, I rang Roger Barrow,’ said Proust, settling back in his chair. He hadn’t finished with Simon yet. ‘He wasn’t Superintendent then, and nor should he be now. I rang him, told him I couldn’t bring Helen in for questioning. “She’s just signed a consent form for her boy’s life support to be switched off,” I said. “She and her husband are about to watch their son die. They’re in pieces.” Helen was as innocent of murder as any person I’d ever met, and even if she wasn’t . . .’ The Snowman stopped, pulled in a deep breath. ‘Bringing her in for questioning could wait until Rowan had passed on. Why couldn’t it wait? What difference was an hour or two going to make?’

  Simon was aware of his own breathing, the stillness in the room.

  ‘“You want her brought in now, get someone else to do it,” I said. “No, no,” said Barrow. “You’re quite right. Go and have something to eat, get yourself a pint, simmer down,” he said. As if I’d lost on the horses or something – something trivial. “You’re right, bringing the mother in can wait till later.” He wanted me out of the way, that was all. When I got back to the hospital, the doctors told me Helen and Paul had been taken in for questioning by two bobbies, minutes after I’d left them – hauled out screaming, like some kind of . . .’ Proust shook his head. ‘And Rowan . . .’

  ‘He was dead?’ Simon blurted out, his discomfort starting to spin into panic. He needed light and air. He needed not to be hearing this, but couldn’t find the right words to make it stop. It felt like an assault. Had Proust planned it? Had he watched Simon become hardened to his derision over the years, and decided that enforced intimacy was to be his new weapon?

  ‘Rowan died with neither of his parents there,’ said Proust. ‘Alone. Doesn’t that make you proud to be human, Waterhouse? Assuming you are.’ A dismissive hand gesture indicated that he didn’t expect an answer.

  Simon exited as quickly as he could, giving no thought to where he was going. The khazi; his feet knew even if his brain didn’t. He went in, headed for a cubicle and just had time to slide the lock across before a wave of nausea bent him double. He spent the next ten minutes spewing up black coffee and bile, thinking, You make me sick. You make me fucking sick.

  5

  Thursday 8 October 2009

  I’m in Laurie’s office when I hear someone yelling my name. I think of Rachel Hines and freeze, as if by keeping still I can make myself invisible. Then there’s more shouting and I recognise the voice: Tamsin.

  I get to reception in time to catch the end of what looks like a strange dance. If I didn’t know better, I might think Maya and Tamsin choreographed it together: each time Tamsin takes a step forward, Maya blocks her path or puts out an arm to stop her.

  ‘Fliss, will you tell her I’m supposed to be here? I’m getting the imposter treatment.’

  ‘Don’t do this, Tam,’ says Maya gravely. ‘You’re embarrassing all of us. We agreed yesterday would be your last day.’

  ‘I asked her to come in,’ I say. ‘I need someone to get me up to speed on the film, quickly. There was no sign of Laurie when I came in this morning and I can’t get hold of him on any of his phones, and anyway, he’s . . .’ I break off, wondering what I was about to say. He’s leaving? He’s crackers? ‘I needed a reliable expert, so I rang Tamsin.’

  ‘I’m offering my services for free,’ Tamsin says cheerily. She’s wearing a figure-hugging pink and orange dress that looks new and expensive. I wonder how to check, tactfully, that she’s not planning to blow all her remaining money on luxury items as a prelude to driving off a cliff. I know Tamsin: she’ll chicken out of the cliff part, but get as far as running up massive debts before latching on to her next faddy idea.

  ‘Look, I’ve even brought my own refreshments,’ she says. ‘An old mineral water bottle from the days when I could afford it, full of nice cheap tap water. Yum.’ She waves it in front of Maya’s face. ‘See? No concealed weapons.’

  ‘Thanks so much, Fliss, for letting me know.’ Maya twitches her nose like an offended rabbit, taking backward steps in the direction of her office. She’s been arsey with me all morning. I keep giving her my best, most radiant ‘hello’s and getting only grunts in response. Binary Star is a different company today. Everybody’s keeping themselves to themselves, trying not to meet anyone else’s eye. It’s like an office in mourning.

  For Laurie.

  I grab Tamsin’s arm and drag her along the corridor to the room I need to start thinking of as my new condensation-free office, muttering, ‘Thanks for your contribution.’ I slam the door, lock it and put the chain across. If Laurie comes back and wants to get in, tough. He told me I could be him from Monday; all I’m doing is moving the new arrangement forward by two working days. Let him come back and catch me.

  Let him come back.

  ‘You’re welcome.’ Tamsin plonks herself down in Laurie’s chair and puts her feet up on his model globe. Her face clouds over. ‘You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?’

  ‘I could have done without the too-poor-for-mineral-water quip. I have to work here, Tam.’

  ‘I thought you were handi
ng in your notice first thing this morning.’

  ‘I changed my mind.’

  ‘How come?’

  There’s no reason not to tell her, though I’m not sure it’ll make sense to anyone but me. ‘I rang my mum this morning. I told her I was worried about being paid more than I’m realistically worth, Maya and Raffi resenting me, stuff like that.’

  ‘She told you not to be an idiot?’ Tamsin guesses.

  ‘Not quite. She suggested I say to them that I wouldn’t feel comfortable earning so much, and perhaps we could agree a salary that was somewhere between what I’m on now and what Laurie was on, something we could all feel happy with. I listened to her and I swear I could hear myself saying it, sounding ever so reasonable and timid – sounding like her, mousey and modest and unassuming and . . .’ I shrug. ‘Laurie was right. No one asks for less money. I don’t care what Maya and Raffi think of me, but . . . I’d lose all respect for myself if I didn’t try to make this work.’ I feel obliged to add, ‘Even though, secretly, I don’t think I’m worth anywhere near a hundred and forty a year.’

  ‘You’re suffering from Reverse L’Oréal Syndrome,’ says Tamsin. ‘“Because I’m not worth it”. So, you’re going to make the film?’

  ‘You don’t think I can do it, do you?’

  ‘If it can be done, you can do it,’ she says matter-of-factly. ‘Why wouldn’t you be able to?’

  I consider telling her what makes me different from her or Laurie or anyone else at Binary Star, why I can’t hear the names Yardley, Jaggard and Hines without feeling a cold dragging in the pit of my stomach.

  I didn’t tell my mother about Laurie’s film. I mentioned the promotion and the pay-rise, but not what I’d be working on. Not that she’d have tried to stop me. Mum would be more likely to dance naked in the street than say anything that might lead to an argument.

  Tamsin’s the only person at work I’ve ever been tempted to tell. Trouble is, she’s never silent for long enough. This time’s no different. ‘The question is, do you still have a film to make after Ray Hines left you stranded on the pavement? Have you spoken to Paul Yardley? Talked Sarah Jaggard back on board?’

  ‘I haven’t done anything yet.’

  ‘Apart from spreading the contents of five box files randomly across the room,’ says Tamsin dubiously, eyeing the papers on the floor and on every available surface.

  ‘I was looking for something and I didn’t find it. Does the name Wendy Whitehead ring any bells?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘What are the chances of it being buried somewhere in all this lot? I’ve skim-read as much as I’ve had time to, but—’

  ‘Don’t bother,’ says Tamsin. ‘Any name that crops up even once, I’d know it. I know every expert witness, every health visitor, every solicitor . . .’

  ‘What about just Wendy, then? She might have got married and changed her surname. Or divorced.’

  Tamsin considers it. ‘No,’ she says eventually. ‘No Wendys. Why?’

  ‘She rang me last night.’

  ‘Wendy Whitehead?’

  ‘Rachel Hines.’

  She rolls her eyes. ‘I know. I was there, remember?’

  ‘No, I mean later. After she’d driven away without getting out of the car. Almost immediately after. She apologised, said she still wanted to talk to me, but I’d have to come to her.’

  ‘Did she say why she drove off?’

  ‘No. I saw her looking behind me, sort of like . . . I don’t know, it looked as if she was staring at somebody over my shoulder, but when I turned round there was no one there. I turned back and she’d driven away.’

  ‘You think she saw something that scared her off?’

  ‘What could she have seen? I’m telling you, there was nothing there. Just me. No one walking past, no neighbours looking out of their windows.’

  Tamsin frowns. ‘So who’s Wendy Whitehead?’

  I hesitate. ‘This might be something you’d rather not know.’

  ‘Is it bad?’

  I don’t know how to answer that without telling her.

  ‘Is Joe shagging her behind my back?’ Tamsin kicks the globe over. ‘That’d be typical of my luck at the moment.’

  I can’t help smiling. Joe would never be unfaithful to Tamsin. His favourite hobby is making no effort whatsoever. You can almost see him looking at other women and thinking Don’t need to bother, already got one of those. ‘It’s got nothing to do with your personal life,’ I say. I can’t stand the suspense, even though I’m the one with the information, not the one waiting to be told. ‘Rachel Hines said Wendy Whitehead killed her daughter and son.’

  Tamsin snorts and slumps back in Laurie’s chair. My chair. ‘No one was in the house when Marcella Hines died apart from her and Ray. Same with Nathaniel four years later – he was alone with his mother at home when he died. Wendy Whitehead certainly wasn’t there, if she even exists. What’s more interesting is why Ray Hines is lying, and why now.’ I open my mouth but I’m not quick enough. ‘I know why,’ Tamsin says. ‘To reel you in.’

  ‘So what do I do? Go and see her? Ring the police?’ I spent most of last night asking myself these questions, unable to sleep for more than half an hour at a time.

  ‘Go and see her for sure,’ says Tamsin. ‘I’m curious. I’ve always been curious about her – she’s a strange woman. She’s gone to great lengths to keep Laurie at a distance, but she can’t seem to get enough of you.’

  If there’s even the tiniest chance that it’s true, then I ought to tell the police. And if Wendy Whitehead turns out to be a real person, one who didn’t murder Marcella and Nathaniel Hines? She might be interrogated or even arrested, and I’d have caused trouble for an innocent woman. I can’t do that, not without finding out more. Not without being sure it isn’t exactly what Rachel Hines wants me to do.

  Why hasn’t Laurie rung me back? I’ve left messages for him everywhere I can think of, saying I need urgent advice.

  Marcella and Nathaniel. Now I know their names. I haven’t thought much about having children, but if I did, I wouldn’t give them names like that. They’re the sort of names you choose if you think you’re someone to be reckoned with. I wonder if this is my Reverse L’Oréal Syndrome kicking in again; what would I call my kids, Wayne and Tracey? Because I’m not worth it.

  Wayne Jupiter Benson Nattrass. Oh, for God’s sake, Felicity, grow up!

  Why has Rachel Hines waited until now to mention Wendy Whitehead? Why would she go to prison rather than tell the truth?

  ‘Tell me about her,’ I say to Tamsin. ‘Everything you know.’

  ‘Ray? She drew the short straw when it came to husbands, that’s for sure. Have you read the transcripts of Laurie’s interviews with Angus Hines?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘They’re somewhere in all that lot.’ Tamsin nods at the mess of papers. ‘Dig them out, they’re worth a read. You’ll think Angus can’t possibly have said those things until you come across the press cuttings in which he’s quoted as saying the exact same things.’ She shakes her head. ‘Have you ever had that, where you hear something from a person’s own mouth, something they’d have no reason to lie about, and you still can’t believe it?’

  ‘What does he do? What’s his job?’

  ‘He’s some kind of editor at London on Sunday. He ditched Ray as soon as the verdict went against her. Paul Yardley and Glen Jaggard couldn’t have been more different. They were with their wives all the way, totally supportive. I reckon that’s why Ray Hines is such an oddster. If you think about it, she suffered an extra trauma. Helen and Sarah were let down by the system, but not by the people closest to them. Their families never doubted their innocence. When you get a chance to read all the notes, you’ll see that Helen and Sarah consistently refer to their husbands as their rocks, both of them. Never mind a rock, Angus Hines isn’t even a pebble!’

  ‘What about the drugs?’ I ask.

  Tamsin looks puzzled. ‘Sorry, was I supposed to brin
g some?’

  ‘Rachel Hines is a drug addict, right?’

  She rolls her eyes. ‘Who told you that?’

  ‘I heard two women talking about her on the Tube once. She mentions it herself somewhere too . . .’ I look around for the relevant bit of paper, but can’t remember which corner of the office I dropped it in, or even what it was.

  ‘Her interview with Laurie,’ says Tamsin. ‘Read it again – assuming you can find it among the debris of my onceimmaculate filing system. She was being sarcastic, taking the piss out of the public’s ridiculous perception of her. She’s no more a . . .’

  The door opens and Maya comes in carrying two mugs of something hot on a tray. ‘Peace offering,’ she says brightly. ‘Green tea. Fliss, I need to speak to you as soon as poss, hon, so don’t be too long. Tam, please say we’re still friends. We can still have jolly nights out together, can’t we?’

  Tamsin and I take our cups, too stunned to speak.

  ‘Oh, and I picked this up from reception by mistake, hon.’ Maya pulls an envelope out of the waistband of her jeans and hands it to me. She flashes a sickly smile at us, waves the tray in the air and leaves.

  A cream-coloured envelope. I recognise the handwriting; I’ve seen it on two other envelopes.

  ‘Green tea?’ Tamsin snaps. ‘Slime is green. Snot is green. Tea’s got no business being—’

  ‘Tell me about Ray Hines not being a drug addict,’ I say, tossing the envelope to one side. I know there will be numbers in it, and that I won’t be able to work out what they mean, so I might as well forget them. It’s someone’s idea of a joke, and eventually they’ll deliver their punchline. It’s probably Raffi. He’s the comedian around here. One of his favourite topics of conversation is funny things he said and how much everyone laughed at them. ‘If she isn’t or wasn’t a druggie, why did anyone think she was?’ I ask, trying to sound as if my mind’s still on Rachel Hines.

  Tamsin stands up. ‘I’ve got to get out of here. You’ve been summoned, and if I stay, I’ll end up killing somebody.’

  ‘But . . .’