The Shadow of War

by Jack Murray

  ‘I’m not sure I had more than two hours’ sleep with all the snoring,’ he complained. This was greeted with the usual sympathy. However, by this point, Carruthers was as impervious to the insults as the other recruits were to his grousing. In fact, it was a sport enjoyed by both assailants and target. Taking the rise out Carruthers gave the men a chance to blow off steam. Carruthers, by now, seemed to enjoy the catharsis of giving vent to his feelings albeit in entirely unconcerned company.

  One morning Carruthers had the room in stitches with his musical criticism of the bugler.

  ‘I’m convinced the bugler is blowing the wrong notes. I definitely heard a C which should have been an F. Has anyone else noticed?’

  No one had but they were laughing too much to point this out.

  The first day at the rifle range was a welcome break from the monotony of parade ground drill, PT and the droning lectures. Captain Budd made an appearance at the range. Up until then he had only seen them during the occasional lecture and the odd meal when he would ask them how they found the food. Carruthers always spoke negatively about it, but he was in the minority with Harn on this subject.

  O’Dowd stood before them with the Lee Enfield rifle. He demonstrated with an economy of movement.

  ‘In order to take the bolt out, you push forward the safety catch with the thumb of the right hand.’ Get on with it, thought Danny, I just want to shoot something. Preferably you.

  The demonstration ended when the new recruits were told to partner up and lay down in front of the open range. Each was given ammunition and ordered to load their weapons. This was done with varying degrees of incompetence but the Little Gloston boys had no problems. Guns and hunting were a part of everyday life in the village and their capability with the weapons was soon apparent. Budd came over to them and commented on their accuracy.

  ‘Good shooting, men. I see you’ve done this before. Carry on.’

  They had done it before but not for such an extended period. By the end of the rifle range practice most were sporting blisters on their trigger fingers. Carruthers and some of the slower learners were better off as they had not been so rapid in their firing. This caused some good-natured banter from the older man.

  ‘If you were as useless as me then you wouldn’t be in such agony. Only yourself to blame, really.’

  ‘Jerry’ll be shaking in his jackboots when he comes across you,’ laughed Arthur.

  ‘I prefer not to blast away like a child with a pop gun, personally,’ replied Carruthers with exaggerated superiority.

  ‘It’s not what your missus told me last night,’ said Arthur.

  ‘You’re lucky she was so interested,’ replied Carruthers amid the laughter.

  -

  With each day, as the group became more confident together, Bob’s temper became increasingly frayed. He finally snapped at O’Dowd on the fourth afternoon on the parade ground as his hat dropped off his head by accident. As he bent to pick it up O’Dowd shouted at him.

  ‘Stand still until I tell you to pick it up.’

  Bob lost his cool and suggested that O’Dowd pick it up himself. The language he used in this suggestion, quite apart from the act of responding, caused the sergeant to storm over to Bob. His face was inches away.

  ‘What did you say, Owen?’

  Bob, realising he had spoken unwisely, remained silent.

  ‘Cat got your tongue?’ continued O’Dowd, now enjoying the humiliation. ‘Well, I think you can take yourself over there and start running with the gun over your head. Go on, hop it.’

  Bob had no choice but to do as he was told. A minute later, in full view of all the recruits, Bob was running around the parade ground. His lack of fitness and his anger meant he burned up energy fast. Within fifteen minutes he had collapsed. Rather than allow him to recuperate, O’Dowd ordered him to clean the toilets. He missed the evening meal as a result. However, the other boys smuggled some rations to him when he came into the barracks later that evening, still grumbling.

  ‘Cheer up, Bob,’ said Hugh Gissing. ‘We’ve saved you some food.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Bob, clearly embarrassed. ‘I hate that man, boys. I hate him.’

  ‘Steady, Bob,’ counselled Danny. ‘Don’t do anything stupid.’

  ‘Don’t you worry,’ replied Bob grimly, before tearing into the food.

  -

  Next morning the recruits were woken, as usual, and they stumbled blindly out from their beds.

  ‘I don’t know why they start us so early,’ grumbled Carruthers. ‘Another hour in bed wouldn’t make much difference.’ He shut up as soon as O’Dowd entered the barrack room shouting for them to get up.

  Their initial parade ground foot drill was followed by breakfast and then a lecture on field craft. Danny was fascinated by the lectures in a way that many of his fellow recruits were not. He often brought a note pad in and made copious notes. This brought a good degree of ribbing from his brother and the two Gissing brothers who remembered a less academic boy from school.

  ‘Hark at him,’ said Bert Gissing.

  ‘Teacher’s pet,’ added Tom.

  ‘We’ll see who’s laughing when Jerry is shooting the arse off you and you don’t know which direction to run.’

  ‘I’ll take cover behind you while you’re reading the stars, Danny-boy,’ said Arthur holding his arm aloft towards the heavens.

  The rest of the morning was to be taken up with close combat without bayonets. Tom and Danny grinned at one another. Another interested spectator was Captain Budd. His interest in parade ground drilling tended to be only slightly above that of the men under his leadership. On the indefatigable O’Dowd seemed to like the endless drilling.

  Inevitably, Bob and Harn were the first two recruits to be asked to grapple with O’Dowd. Despite years of training with Danny, Bob didn’t last long. Harn hit the ground with an almighty wallop and stayed down for a minute in agony. There was little sympathy from either sergeant, commanding officer or the rest of the recruits.

  Finally, Danny was asked up. For the previous few minutes, Danny had studied O’Dowd closely. It was clear the sergeant knew how to wrestle. However, his age and size, calculated Danny, would count against him. But Danny knew better than to be complacent and the two men circled one another warily. Whether it was instinct or just observation of Danny over the previous week, O’Dowd knew this would a different proposition. It wasn’t just Danny’s height and physique. There was a look in the eye that O’Dowd recognised. The kid had a quiet confidence.

  Looking on, the rest of the recruits and Captain Budd sensed this was a more evenly matched bout. Previously there had been a lot of noise and good-natured banter. Now there was silence save for the distant orders from the parade ground. A few initial feints from both men were easily dismissed and then finally they came together. An initial attempt to throw Danny was narrowly beaten off and they stepped back again.

  O’Dowd, after four demonstrations already, was beginning to pant. He knew Danny was stronger. He now realised Danny also had technique. Sweat rolled down his face and, for the first time in front of a recruit, he felt fear. He dismissed this quickly. He’d seen too much in his life and he’d dealt with bigger problems than Danny Shaw.

  O’Dowd’s small eyes narrowed, and Danny braced himself for the next attack. Seconds later it was all over. O’Dowd lay on the ground. He bounced up immediately and attacked Danny again, almost catching him unawares. For another minute the two men were locked in battle and then, once again, the sergeant was lying on his back. Budd applauded the two men as O’Dowd rose to his feet.

  ‘Who showed you how to do that?’ asked Budd.

  ‘My dad,’ replied Danny, mopping his brow. He was sweating profusely. To be fair to O’Dowd, he’d given him quite a fight. A few years younger or a few pounds heavier and it might have been Danny on the ground.

  Budd nodded and asked Danny, ‘He was in the other lot?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  Turnin
g to Tom Shaw, Budd asked, ‘Are you equally proficient?’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ replied Tom.

  Budd nodded and looked at O’Dowd. He pointed to the Shaw brothers and said, ‘Sergeant, split the men into two groups. Detail these two men to take over the unarmed close combat training.’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ barked O’Dowd. Once Budd had left the men, he glared at Danny and said, ‘I’ll get you back for this, Shaw.’

  Danny returned his gaze. Another few weeks and they’d be gone. There was no point in starting anything now. Instead he merely nodded, then turned away to organise his group of men.

  4

  Caterham Army Barracks, Surrey: February 1941

  It was a light punch on the arm. Danny was awake in an instant and bolted upright. Carruthers was by his bed. Danny looked at him in confusion because it was still night outside. When Danny’s eyes found their focus, he saw it was after two in the morning.

  ‘What do you want?’ whispered Danny.

  ‘You’re friend and Harn. They’ve just sneaked out of the barracks,’ whispered Carruthers, ‘I think they’re deserting.’

  This was alarming. Danny rose from his bed and went to the window. It was dark outside, but the moon was quite bright. Initially, they could see nothing, then Carruthers pointed to a hut around forty yards away. It was just about possible to make out Bob and Harn.

  ‘Christ almighty,’ said Danny, ‘Come on.’

  They picked up their boots and ran to the door. Slipping into their boots quickly, they ran over to where the two men were hiding. Both were waiting for the guard at the gate to be changed. This usually took place at two.

  He and Carruthers arrived at the doorway where the two men lay hidden in the shadows.

  ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’

  ‘Mind your own business, Shaw,’ snarled Harn. Bob said nothing; he looked mortified.

  ‘You’re going home, aren’t you?’ said Carruthers.

  ‘What if we are, Danny? We shouldn’t be here,’ responded Bob.

  ‘Nor should I,’ pointed out Carruthers, ‘I have a wife, a family and a good job.’

  ‘Come with us,’ sneered Harn.

  Carruthers almost recoiled physically at the thought. Then he said, ‘I’m here now. I’ll make the best of it.’

  ‘Get away will you,’ said Bob sharply. He was becoming increasingly uncomfortable by the second.

  ‘We’re only trying to help,’ said Carruthers trying to reason with them.

  ‘Leave us alone,’ said Harn, pushing Carruthers sharply on the shoulder.

  This angered Danny and grabbed Harn by his lapels, ‘Enough of that. He’s trying to make you see reason. None of us want to be in the army.’

  ‘You volunteered,’ said Bob, sulkily, like a child trying to excuse bad behaviour.

  ‘It doesn’t mean I want to be here. There’s a job to be done. If I could go home tomorrow, I would. C’mon, this is madness. Come back to the barracks and we’ll say nothing about this to anyone.’

  It was clear that Bob was now torn. His distressed face tore at Danny.

  ‘What’s wrong, Bob?’

  Tears were streaming down Bob’s face, ‘It’s Beth. She’s pregnant. I don’t want my child to be an orphan.’

  Danny grabbed both of Bob’s arms. His heart felt like it would explode. How would he have reacted in similar circumstances? Duty demanded he stay and fight, but Danny recognised a higher duty to the country. This was a fight for survival. The last two years had brought a human cost to the country. A black cloud of death hung in the air. No one was immune from its effects. No one was excused from sacrificing their time or, indeed, their life for the cause of survival. But Danny was not there to police his friend. He released Bob’s arms.

  ‘It’s up to you, Bob. They’ll come after you. They’ll put you in prison. Is that any better for Beth and the child?’

  ‘Leave him alone, Shaw. He’s a big boy. He can do what he wants.’

  Danny realised the opposite was true, but he had no time or desire to reason with Harn. He looked at Bob and shrugged.

  ‘Fine, Bob, you decide.’ He turned to Carruthers and said, ‘Let’s go back. It’s their look out.’

  Carruthers was troubled by this, but Danny gave a curt nod. If they stayed any longer, they would get caught and O’Dowd would certainly not believe their story. The two men turned and walked back to the barracks. A few second later they heard the sound of steps behind them. It was Bob.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ was all Bob could say.

  Danny glanced back at Harn. He was already darting towards another hut, nearer the entrance.

  ‘Damn fool,’ said Danny following Bob and Carruthers back into the building.

  -

  This left the group with a problem. Harn’s departure was unlikely to succeed. He would almost certainly be caught. It was a question of how long. In Danny’s view, this affected them all. Carruthers was thinking along similar lines.

  ‘If they catch him, he’ll say we knew all about it. This makes us complicit.’

  ‘I know,’ replied Danny grimly. However, the thought of going to either O’Dowd or the captain appalled him. Finally, he said, ‘Bob, you get to bed. Whatever happens, deny everything. I’ll go to Budd and tell him about Harn.’

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ said Carruthers. Seeing Danny was about to object, he put his hand up.

  ‘Don’t. We should go now.’

  Bob looked like he would also join them, until Danny all but frog marched him to his bed.

  ‘All right, all right, I’m going,’ he whispered.

  A few minutes later Danny and Carruthers were dressed and walking along the parade ground to the sergeant’s quarters. They walked inside and found O’Dowd’s room. It was well after two and they expected he would be somewhat displeased.

  ‘Here goes,’ said Danny, knocking on the door. There was no response. Danny looked at Carruthers, ‘Should I go in?’

  ‘No, I wouldn’t advise it.’

  ‘Afraid “old Sod” might be in a nightdress with the captain?’

  Carruthers looked shocked by this suggestion and not amused. This made Danny’s grin even wider. A lot of things went on in the countryside. Nobody necessarily approved but nor did they speak of it. They were obviously a bit primmer in the city.

  Danny rapped the door again, only louder. This time they could hear noise from inside. Danny knocked again and whispered loudly, ‘Sergeant, wake up.’

  The door opened and O’Dowd’s face poked through angrily, ‘What the hell do you think…?’

  ‘Sergeant, it’s Harn,’ said Carruthers. His clipped tones brought O’Dowd to a standstill. He knew immediately what the problem was.

  ‘Wait here.’ Less than a minute later O’Dowd was at the door again, in his uniform trying to put his boots on without socks.

  They made their way quickly out of the sergeant’s quarters over to the senior officer’s quarters. A similar episode ensued as they notified Captain Budd. By now ten minutes had elapsed. The next step, led by Budd, was to inform the gate of Harn’s actions.

  ‘We need to organise a small detail of troops to go to the bus and train stations. He won’t get very far.’ He turned to Danny and Carruthers, ‘You two return to your barracks. Thank you for telling us. You did the right thing.’

  The two men returned to bed. Carruthers glanced at Danny, ‘Your friend may still have problems.’

  ‘I know, bloody fool,’ said Danny grim-faced. ‘Harn will point the finger at him, all right.’ With this unhappy thought, Danny fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

  The next morning the barracks was blissfully unaware of the previous night’s events until someone noticed the absence of Harn.

  ‘He’s done a bunk.’

  Carruthers and Danny looked at one another and with a shake of the head they decided not to say anything on the topic. Bob looked at them remorsefully but remained silent. He knew there would soon be hell to p
ay but the fact he had stayed would count in his favour.

  O’Dowd made their life misery as usual in the morning, but no mention was made of the affair. Around mid-morning Budd appeared at the drill and whispered to O’Dowd.

  ‘We need three men for a task. Carruthers, Shaw and Owen fall out.’

  ‘Lucky sods,’ said Arthur out of the side his mouth to Danny.

  The three men followed Budd towards the senior officers’ mess. They walked along the corridor to the commanding officer’s. Budd gave a quick rap on the door and walked in. The commanding officer looked up from his desk. Colonel Foster was a man closer to seventy than sixty. Had this inconvenient war not come along, he would have been enjoying a well-earned retirement in Dorset.

  The thought of this saddened him immensely. What saddened him even more was the necessity of sending these young men off to a war that he’d hoped would never happen again. The men liked him although his appearances were rare.

  ‘Sir,’ said Budd, ‘This is Shaw and Carruthers. They alerted us to the absence of Harn. This is Owen. According to Harn, Owen tried to accompany him.’

  Foster looked first at Bob. He was not unsympathetic in his manner and he asked simply, ‘Is this true?’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ replied Bob, despite the advice of Danny.

  ‘You returned though,’ continued Foster.

  ‘Yes, sir.’ Bob glanced at Danny and Carruthers as he said this.

  Foster turned his attention to the two other men and then looked back to Bob.

  ‘Why did you want to leave?’ asked Foster. Bob explained the situation with his wife. Foster listened intently. When Bob had finished, he asked, ‘What age are you?’

  ‘Nineteen, sir.’

  Foster shook his head and felt such sadness. He remembered hundreds of faces like Bob’s that he’d commanded once. Most were buried in the fields of Flanders. He remembered the cruelty with which the army had treated those who had suffered from the natural fear any sensible person would feel.

  ‘How did you gentlemen come to be involved?’ Foster had now turned to Danny and Carruthers.

  ‘I’m a light sleeper, sir,’ said Carruthers.