“Let me wrap some up for you to take home.”
“Daed will love it. Mamm and I haven’t had much time to bake with doing Daed’s chores as well as our own.”
Abram walked into his bedroom, pulled out his cell phone, called Stitches in Time, and asked to speak to Rachel Ann.
She came to the phone sounding a little breathless. “Abram? Is everything allrecht?”
“Ya. I wanted to tell you that I can’t come into town and take you to lunch today. I have to go over to help Melvin Zook with some chores.”
“Sarah’s dat.”
“Ya. He’s on bed rest. I’ll see you after work?”
“Schur. See you later.”
Abram hung up, sorry to hear the disappointment in her voice. He changed back into work clothes, hung up his good ones, and walked back into the kitchen.
“I figured you needed lunch, since you won’t be going into town,” his mother said as she put a sandwich on a plate and set it on the table.
He’d told her he’d be running some errands in town, but not that he’d be having lunch with Rachel Ann.
She made herself a sandwich and sat at the table opposite him. They said a silent prayer of thanks for the meal and began eating.
“So was Rachel Ann disappointed?”
“What makes you think I was going in to see her?”
“You got dressed up.”
“Maybe I was going into town to buy your Christmas present.”
“You came home with a lot of packages last time you went into town. I think you got it then.”
His eyes narrowed. “You haven’t been snooping in my room, have you?”
“Nee.” She chuckled and her eyes sparkled with mischief. “Are you forgetting how when you were a kind you were always snooping around looking for your presents?”
“You never had proof.”
She merely looked at him. “Mothers know.”
“I’m leaving now. Try not to go looking for your present.”
He grinned as he went to hitch his buggy. She’d never find where he hid her presents. He hadn’t been afraid she’d go looking for them—it was simply because he hadn’t wanted her to stumble on them when she went into his room with laundry or whatever.
The Zooks were happy to see him. He visited briefly with Melvin who looked pale and in pain as he lay propped up in bed.
His sprained ankle was taking too long to heal, he complained, but his fraa reminded him he wasn’t being good about staying off it enough. He’d learned he was going to have to stay off it for a while, he said, so he was grateful for Abram’s help.
Abram set to work mucking out stalls and doing Melvin’s other chores. When he was finished it was nearly suppertime. The scents of roast chicken made his stomach growl when he let himself in the back door.
“Abram! Will you join us for supper?” Sarah asked him as she looked up from the stove where she was stirring something in a pot.
“Nee, I have to be getting home,” he told her.
“Can I at least get you to have a cup of coffee?” She lifted the pot.
A cup would taste good on the cool day. “Allrecht, danki. Mind if I wash up here at the sink?”
“Be my guest.”
She poured two cups and joined him at the table. “Mamm and I appreciate your help so much.”
“I’m happy to help. I’ll be back in the morning to take care of the horses. Do you have a piece of paper and pencil? I’ll write down my cell phone number to call if you need to.”
Sarah fetched the paper and pencil, and after he wrote down the number she looked at it. “I’ve missed seeing you,” she said as she lifted her eyes to meet his.
“I—” he broke off when her mother bustled into the room.
“Abram, can you stay for supper?”
“Not tonight, but danki. I just told Sarah I’ll be back in the morning. I gave her my number if you need to call me.”
He pulled into his drive just as Rachel Ann was being dropped off by her driver.
She walked over and smiled at him, “Hi.”
“Hi. If you can give me a few minutes to get cleaned up I’d like to take you out to supper to make up for missing lunch.”
“That would be nice. Come over to the house when you’re ready.”
They went to their favorite local restaurant—Rachel Ann’s favorite—and he relaxed against the cushions of the booth.
He asked her about her day and enjoyed seeing her enthusiasm about working at both the bakery and the shop.
“You look tired,” he told her as they were served their food.
“Danki,” she said wryly. “So do you.”
He flexed his shoulders, sore from double chores. “They need the help.”
“So, how was Sarah?” she asked casually.
* * *
Rachel Ann shivered in the thin paper gown as she sat on the exam table in the doctor’s office.
She listened as the nurse explained what the doctor would be doing. She’d never had this exam called a pelvic, but she was willing to endure it if it helped her have less painful periods.
The nurse took Rachel Ann’s blood pressure, frowned, said it was a little high, weighed her, and said she was underweight. She seated herself on a stool and proceeded to ask her dozens of questions about her health history. She even wanted to know about Rachel Ann’s mother’s periods and births. “Some things tend to run in families,” she said and went to find the doctor.
Dr. Ramsey, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes, came in the room, shook Rachel Ann’s hand, and introduced herself. She looked over the nurse’s notes while the nurse helped Rachel Ann scoot down on the table and put her feet into the stirrups.
The doctor was calm and patient and explained what she was doing at each stage of the exam. Rachel Ann tried to relax—something both women told her would make the exam less stressful. But she still flinched a couple of times and felt a twinge of pain.
“You can sit up now,” the doctor told her, and the nurse helped her sit up and pull her feet from the stirrups.
They left her to get dressed, then the nurse showed her into the doctor’s office. “You have endometriosis,” the doctor said. She explained how endometriosis causes painful periods for young women and often causes problems for them when they wanted to get pregnant. Rachel Ann listened earnestly and tried to understand the doctor’s explanation of what happened each month during her periods, but she was grateful when the doctor handed her some brochures to read later.
She also gave Rachel Ann a prescription for birth control pills. Rachel Ann gasped and felt herself blushing madly.
The doctor looked up. “I am not assuming you’re active sexually. These pills are used to treat the endometriosis. It’s important to use them. As I said, this condition can cause infertility.”
She hesitated, then took a deep breath. “Rachel Ann, I’m afraid you may already be infertile.”
“I’m only twenty-one!” she cried. “I want to have babies.”
“I know how important children are to the Amish,” the doctor said quickly. “It’s why I want to be aggressive with your treatment. I see by your chart, you’re single?”
She nodded. “I’m dating someone.”
“If you want to have a baby, you need to start as soon as possible.”
“We can’t get married until the fall.”
The doctor stared at her and frowned.
“We only get married in the fall, after harvest,” she explained. Well, there rarely were some marriages that quietly took place when a couple anticipated their wedding vows. But the doctor was saying that it was unlikely Rachel Ann could get pregnant, so there would be no early marriage.
“I want to do a simple test called a laparoscopy,” the doctor was saying. “It’s done in the hospital, but you go home the same day.”
“I have no insurance.” The community would come together to pay for medical expenses, but she would be too embarrassed to ask for help to pay for s
omething like this.
“Make an appointment to see me in a month and let’s talk about it, see how you’re doing.”
Nodding, feeling numb, Rachel Ann tucked the prescription and brochures into her purse and stumbled out of the office.
* * *
“Rachel Ann, back already?” Leah asked her when she walked into the shop. “Are you allrecht?”
She’d learned how to pull a mask over her face after Sam’s accident so she could get through her day. Now she did it again.
“Everything’s fine. I was just told I’m too thin. Guess I’ll have to eat more of what I make at the bakery,” she joked.
Some customers walked in just then, saving her from having to pretend she wasn’t upset about what she’d heard at the doctor’s office. She rushed to the back room to put her things away and then returned to the shop to help the customers, aware Leah watched her with concern.
She got through the day and never felt so grateful to get in the van and go home. Sam had gone to his doctor, too, and had come home with a new cast. He pushed the food around on his plate, looking so unhappy he occupied the attention of Rachel Ann’s parents, so they didn’t notice she was quiet and barely ate.
As much as she’d have liked to talk to her mother about the doctor’s visit, tonight wasn’t the time. Rachel Ann cleared the table, did the dishes, and escaped to her room.
She threw herself on her bed and once, when she heard footsteps on the stairs, wondered if her mother was coming to tell her Abram was here to see her. But it was only her father with Sam in his arms, come to say gut nacht.
An hour later, she heard Abram’s buggy pull into the drive and travel back to his barn. She glanced at the small alarm clock on her nightstand. She doubted he’d call now. He’d know her parents would feel it was too late. She sighed, torn between wanting to talk to him and yet not sure what she would say.
Would Abram want to marry her now? She knew he loved kinner. Amish families were large. One of the things they had had in common was the wish their families had been larger. And he’d even been willing—eager—to marry her when he thought she might be pregnant.
Rachel Ann sat up as something occurred to her. Was this condition hereditary? Was it why her mother had only had two kinner? She fished in her purse for the brochures and began reading.
There was a knock on her door. “Kumm!” she called as she swept the brochures back into her purse.
Her mother poked her head in. “Are you allrecht?”
She nodded. “Just tired. I thought I’d go to bed early.”
“Christmas will be here soon. Then you can stop working two jobs.” She hesitated. “Your dat and I have appreciated the money you’ve given us, but if we’d known how hard it would be on you we wouldn’t have let you do it.”
“I offered,” Rachel Ann pointed out. “And I do enjoy working at the bakery.”
“Well, as I said, Christmas will be here soon and you’ll go back to just the one job.” She tilted her head as if she heard something. “Doesn’t sound like Sam’s gone to sleep yet. I’m going to go settle him down.”
“Do you want me to go?”
“Nee. You get some sleep.”
Rachel Ann nodded. “Gut nacht.” The door closed.
She got ready for bed, but even though she was exhausted she couldn’t sleep. Finally, she gave up and got up. She knelt at the window and looked over at Abram’s house. A light shone in his bedroom window. He was still up, but there was no way for her to call him without going outside to the phone in the shanty, and it was too cold and too late to do so. What would she tell her parents if they heard her slipping out?
Besides, what was she going to say to him? Would he understand or want to break it off with her? And would she want him to stay if they found out she couldn’t have kinner? His dat had passed the farm on to him, but he’d have no sohn to leave it to. She sighed. The past weeks had been so difficult with Sam being hurt and now this . . .
She put her chin on her arms that were folded on the windowsill and stared up at the stars blinking against the black sky. Why, God? What did I do to deserve this?
When Sam had run into the road and been hurt she’d blamed herself. But this thing wrong with her. She hadn’t made it happen to herself. Why, God?
14
Rachel Ann was finishing up the supper dishes the next evening when she heard a knock on the back door.
She turned as she heard the door open. “Abram! I wasn’t expecting you.”
He frowned. “I’m sorry, I know I haven’t seen you for a couple of days. I’ve been helping the Zooks.”
She stood there, biting her tongue, upset with him, and not trusting herself to say something.
“Rachel Ann? Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
She let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Ya.” She continued washing dishes.
“Maybe we should go for a drive,” he said after a moment. “You look upset and your family’s still up.”
Rachel Ann hesitated and then nodded. “I’ll meet you out front.”
She dried the few remaining dishes, slipped on her jacket, and her footsteps faltered. Was Abram going to tell her he was seeing Sarah again? He’d spent so much time over there at her house . . . and they had dated for a time a few months ago.
Her mother walked into the kitchen, and her eyebrows went up.
“I’m going to go for a drive with Abram.” She buttoned up her jacket.
“I haven’t seen him for a few days.”
“He’s been helping the Zooks.”
“You don’t sound happy about it.”
“I’m not.” She sighed. “I guess it makes me selfish.”
“I’d say it makes you human.”
Rachel Ann’s eyes widened. Her mother didn’t usually make remarks like that. Her heart warmed.
“Maybe you should talk to Abram.”
Abram sat waiting in his buggy in the drive. Rachel Ann climbed inside, and they set off. After a few minutes, she felt him glance at her.
“What’s wrong? Are you upset with me?”
She wanted to roll her eyes. Men! “I haven’t seen you for days.”
“You know I’ve been helping—”
“I know.” She realized she’d sounded sharp. “How long are you going to do this?”
“As long as Melvin needs help.”
She sighed and stared out her window at the barren fields they were passing. “Is there no one else who can help?”
He ran his free hand through his hair. “I’m the one they asked.”
“Sarah asked.”
“Does it matter who asked?” He stared at her. “Rachel Ann, they needed help, and Melvin could hardly come to see me to ask.”
“They have a phone,” she pointed out, and then she sighed. “I’m unhappy you rushed to help them and I haven’t seen you. How long is this going to go on?”
“Just another week.”
“You’re schur?”
“Are you saying you don’t want me to help when I see a need?”
“I’m saying you don’t have to be the only one. The family shouldn’t be leaning on you so much you neglect your own family and your own life.”
“So you’re saying I’ve neglected you.”
She folded her arms across her chest and stared unseeingly ahead. “Ya,” she said finally.
“Has it occurred to you your working a second job has taken time away from us seeing each other, too?” he asked quietly.
Rachel Ann turned to stare at him. “Are you serious? I had to do it to earn some extra money to give to my parents. And it’s early in the day.”
“I know. But often you come home so exhausted we don’t see each other. I’ve tried to understand. It’s all I’m asking now, for you to understand I need to help them.”
It occurred to her then that Abram had given up countless hours of his time to help her family when Sam was hurt. She wondered why he didn’t remind her o
f it now. Instead, he stared at the road ahead.
Rachel Ann felt petty and grew even more upset. Was it so wrong to want him to put her—their relationship—first? Last night she’d needed to talk to him. Still needed to talk to him. But now, there was this distance between them.
Tell him what the doctor said! a little voice inside her urged. But the fear was too great.
The silence between them grew.
“I’ll go over there earlier tomorrow, so I’m finished before you get home.”
Surprised, she turned to look at him. He was extending an olive branch. She nodded.
“Is something wrong, Rachel Ann? You seem tense.”
“I told you what I was upset about.”
“You’re sure that’s all?”
“Schur,” she said quickly. It pained her to lie to him. She never lied.
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
She turned and met his gaze. “I’m looking.”
He reached for her hand and she let him take it. “You’re cold.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’d tell me if something was wrong?”
“Of course.”
He squeezed her hand, sighed, and released it. “I guess I should get you back home so you can get some rest.”
“Ya.” Feeling relieved, she folded her hands in her lap.
Abram checked traffic, then made a U-turn and headed back home. He pulled into his drive and stopped so she could get out. “I’ll see you tomorrow when you get home.”
She nodded. “Tomorrow. Gut nacht.”
“Gut nacht.”
Rachel Ann forced herself to take her time walking to her house, not wanting to have him think she just wanted to rush away. Once inside, she was grateful her parents had apparently gone upstairs.
All she wanted was to be alone.
* * *
Abram thought about his conversation with Rachel Ann several times the next day.
Something was bothering her no matter how much she denied it. He didn’t think it was just because he hadn’t seen her for a few days.
Well, he was going to find out when they got together this evening.
“Abram, I thought you might like a cup of coffee. Black, right?”
He looked up from mucking out a stall to see Sarah. “Ya, danki.” He set the shovel aside and took the mug from her.
One True Path Page 14