She took a seat on a nearby bale of hay and smiled at him. “Mamm is making pot roast for supper and said I should see if you can stay.”
“Danki, but I can’t tonight.” He took a sip of coffee, winced when he found it too hot to drink, and blew on it to cool it.
“What’s your hurry?” she teased.
“I promised—” he stopped, his natural reserve kicking in. “I have to be getting home,” he said.
He watched the corners of her mouth turn down and then, with a conscious effort, she brightened and smiled at him. “It’s been so nice having you here. It’s hard to see you go at the end of the day.”
“Danki.”
“So how is Rachel Ann?” she asked as she smoothed her skirt. “Guess she’s happy her little brother is home from the hospital.”
Abram nodded, picked up the mug of coffee again, and sipped quickly. He was determined to stay on schedule and keep his promise to see Rachel Ann when she got home.
Sarah got to her feet. “Well, I’m going to hitch the buggy and take Daed to his doctor’s appointment.”
“I’ll get the buggy,” he told her, and he set the mug down.
As he moved past her, she touched his sleeve and looked up at him. “Danki, Abram.”
A little disconcerted at the warmth in her gaze, he nodded and walked out of the barn. He hitched the buggy and helped Melvin inside.
“Pray I get good news from the doctor,” Melvin said, grunting as he settled into the seat. “I’m tired of lying around while another man does my chores.”
“I don’t mind helping out,” Abram told him sincerely. “Abe Stoltzfus said for me to tell you he’s sorry to hear you’ve been laid up, and he’s going to be stopping by to help me do whatever you need starting tomorrow.”
Melvin nodded. “Gut. I appreciate the help, Abram, but I’ve been concerned it’s too much for one man on top of his own responsibilities.”
Abram clasped his shoulder. “It’s been no problem, Melvin.”
He returned to the barn to continue mucking out the stalls, saying a prayer as Melvin requested. He didn’t mind helping, but he knew the older man would be glad to be on his feet again caring for his home and animals.
The time alone in the barn gave him a chance to think again about Rachel Ann. No one in this community looked for an easy life. Hard work, service to others, these were expected in his community. So he’d been surprised she’d been upset about his helping the Zook family last night.
All he could think was she’d been overtiring herself working too hard and enduring such an emotional, frightening time seeing Sam being hit by Michael’s car. It’s why when she’d been upset with him last night he’d tried to be understanding and not defend himself or argue with her. He’d felt a little gratified she’d missed him, and so it hadn’t been a hardship or even a compromise to tell her he’d be home on time tonight, so they could be together.
Still, he wondered as he had last night if there wasn’t something more bothering her than she’d admit. . . . He remembered how he’d known there was something on her mind not so long ago and there had been a reason for it—she’d worried she might have made a terrible mistake and become pregnant. Because they were so close he’d known something was wrong, and because he cared so much for her he’d offered to marry her. He’d been happy for her that she wasn’t, but for himself there had been more than a moment’s regret he wouldn’t be making her his fraa so quickly.
Well, he didn’t always understand the path God led him down, but his insistence on persuading Rachel Ann to confide in him had changed something between them. They were more than friends now, and he was going to do whatever he had to do to make her happy, to feel safe and loved.
He finished up and carried the coffee mug with him to the kitchen.
“Abram, come in,” Edna said when she opened the back door. “Would you like a refill on your kaffe before you go?”
Abram glanced at the clock. He was doing good on time. “Ya, that would be gut. Then I’ll be heading home.”
“Melvin and I appreciate your help so much,” she said as she set the filled mug of coffee on the kitchen table.
“He said he was hoping the doctor will tell him he can get back to doing his own chores.” Abram sat at the table.
“I hope so, too,” she said fervently, sitting down with her own mug of coffee. “He’s been having a hard time not being able to do his chores.”
“Sam—Rachel Ann’s brother—has had a hard time not being able to do what he wants, either.” Abram grinned. “I don’t guess taking Melvin to the convenience store for ice cream and glitter glue would help put him in a better mood, would it? It probably only works on a four-year-old.”
She laughed. “Nee. But I’m hoping a good report from the doctor and my pot roast will help. Plus, I’m baking his favorite pie.”
Abram grinned. “Sounds like you believe the old saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
She laughed. “It is with some men. Like my mann.”
He finished his coffee and glanced at the clock. “I should be going.”
“Sarah told me you can’t join us for supper tonight. I hope you can sometime soon. She and Melvin and I enjoyed it when you used to come to supper.”
“I did, too,” he said as he walked to the door. “Gut nacht.”
Something finally clicked as he got into his buggy. He was so focused on Rachel Ann that he had missed the fact Sarah was still interested in him.
Couples were private about dating in this community, so he hadn’t wanted to mention he had plans with Rachel Ann. But if Sarah knew, maybe it would discourage her thinking the two of them might see each other again.
He’d have to find a way to drop the fact into the conversation next time Sarah showed any interest in him.
* * *
Rachel Ann made extra gingerbread cookies and brought two dozen of them to the shop. Anna was teaching her knitting class this afternoon and asked her to bring cookies since she hadn’t had the time to bake any.
“Danki, Rachel Ann. I had some special orders to finish for customers.”
“I’m happy to help.”
“How much do I owe you? And don’t you dare say nothing. You did those at the bakery, so I know Linda will expect to be paid for them.”
Rachel Ann told her and tucked the payment into her purse to give to Linda at the bakery tomorrow morning. She walked out into the shop as Leah opened for the day.
One of the things Rachel Ann liked about working here was how you never knew who might walk in to shop. Many locals—Englisch and Amish—shopped here for their sewing, knitting, and crafting needs and for gifts. Then there were the tourists from faraway states and countries visiting the area who stopped in.
She’d been a little shy when she first started working here but deliberately worked to overcome it because she wanted to get to know people better. Growing up an only child until Sam was born four years ago, she’d missed having bruders and schwesders. She watched Mary Katherine, Naomi, and Anna, cousins but close as schwesders, and wished for that closeness sometimes. Abram had been her best friend, not another girl, because she’d been a bit of a tomboy, but sometimes she’d missed being close with a girlfriend. Working here with these other women had fulfilled some of the lack.
So she smiled when the bell over the door rang, and she turned to greet the customer who walked in.
Her smile faltered when she saw Sarah Zook.
“Guder mariye, Sarah,” she said, determined to be friendly in spite of her feeling Sarah had asked Abram for his help with her father’s chores because she was interested in him. Rachel Ann had been trained that way—when you lived in a small community where you held church in each other’s homes. You worked to live according to your spiritual beliefs not just think about them in church on Sunday.
“My mamm gave me a list of some things she needs,” Sarah told her, pulling it from her purse. “I dropped my dat off at the do
ctor, so I don’t have much time to shop.”
“I hope he’s doing better,” Rachel Ann said. “Why don’t we divide up the list so we can get you out of here quickly. Many hands make for light work.”
“Gut idea.”
Rachel Ann hoped Abram had asked another friend or two to help the family so he wouldn’t be spending so much time there.
The two of them picked up shopping baskets and soon found the thread, yarn, fabric, and more on the list. They rechecked the list to make sure they hadn’t missed anything and then walked to the front counter so Rachel Ann could ring up the purchases.
“Mamm and I have been so grateful Abram’s been helping us,” Sarah told her. “It’s been nice seeing him every day. He’s such a gut man.”
Rachel Ann lost her concentration for a moment, wondering if she was being sent a message, and had to go back and check to make sure she hadn’t charged for a spool of thread twice. Sarah handed her the money, Rachel Ann gave her change, and she tucked the purchases in a shopping bag.
“Well, time to go get Daed and get home,” Sarah said as she took the bag. “We invited Abram to supper.”
Shocked, Rachel Ann watched her walk away.
Anna had been straightening a shelf near the front door, and she held it open for Sarah and wished her a good afternoon. She walked over to Rachel Ann standing at the counter. “Everything allrecht?”
“I—ya, everything’s fine.”
“Did Sarah say something to upset you?” Anna tilted her head to one side. “She was smiling in a rather smug way on her way out.”
She just dropped a bomb, Rachel Ann wanted to say. Abram wasn’t leaving the Zooks’ house early to have supper with her tonight. Not according to Sarah.
“Nee, I think she was just happy she got everything she needed quickly,” Rachel Ann said.
“Well, she always reminds me of someone who enjoyed gossiping about me years ago.”
Rachel Ann took the two shopping baskets and deposited them near the front door and thought her words had probably been accurate—Sarah had wanted to let her know she was the one who had plans with Abram this evening.
The day went downhill from there. Rachel Ann found herself thinking about what the doctor had said to her, and it seemed as if she had never seen so many babies and children come into the store.
Many of the mothers oohed and aahed over the caps Anna knitted and had to try them on their children. Yes, she agreed with a little pang in her heart, there was nothing so adorable as the baby or child modeling a cupcake cap or one in the owl or teddy bear cap. Anna’s creations flew out the door almost as fast as she could knit them.
Rachel Ann wasn’t hungry, but she forced herself to take a lunch break to get off her feet for a while. She sat with her sandwich uneaten on the table before her and wished the day would just get over. Each time she looked at the nearby clock, only a few minutes had gone by.
It was the afternoon that would not end.
She picked up half of the sandwich, forcing herself to eat, knowing she wouldn’t have enough energy to get through the afternoon if she didn’t.
Leah walked in, got her lunch out of the refrigerator, and sat down opposite Rachel Ann.
“You’re looking sad again, kind,” she said as she unwrapped her sandwich. “It seems to me you’ve been looking sad since you came back from the doctor’s office the other day.”
Rachel Ann’s sandwich slipped from her suddenly nerveless fingers. “You remembered.” Her mother hadn’t. She knew her mother cared, but it had slipped her mind to ask her about it.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Leah asked gently, looking at her over the tops of her wire-rimmed glasses. Her faded blue eyes were kind.
Tears welled up, and she furiously blinked them away. Her hands fluttered as she tried to find the words. “The doctor says I have something wrong with me, something I never even heard of, and it means I probably can’t have kinner. It’s what’s been causing my periods to be so bad.”
“Oh, Rachel Ann, I’m so sorry.” Leah reached over and touched Rachel Ann’s hand. “I know this is hard news for you especially when we have so many kinner in our community. But I want to remind you the doctor doesn’t decide if you’ll have a boppli. God does.”
Rachel Ann reached for a paper napkin from the holder in the center of the table and wiped at her eyes.
“Who’s going to want to marry me knowing I might not be able to have kinner?”
“A man who loves you.”
“But—”
“A man who loves you,” she said firmly. “I know women who have thought they couldn’t have kinner and they were wrong. Have you talked to your mother?”
Rachel Ann shook her head. “I haven’t have a chance yet. But . . . I don’t know . . . sometimes it’s not as easy to talk to her as it is you for some reason.”
“Talk to her, Rachel Ann. Promise me you’ll do it right away, allrecht?”
She nodded and wiped at her cheeks again.
“And your young man, too.”
She tried to summon a smile. “My young man? You think I have one?”
“Ya, I do,” Leah said, and there was a twinkle in her eyes. “Now, finish your lunch. I have the feeling we’re going to be busy this afternoon.”
“We’ve been busy every afternoon for weeks.”
“Ya, so it’s how I know we’ll be busy this afternoon.”
Rachel Ann found herself laughing for the first time in days.
15
Rachel Ann was stunned to see Abram sitting in his buggy in his drive when her driver pulled in front of her home after work.
She gathered her purse and lunch tote, got out of the van, and thanked the driver, all the while watching as Abram climbed out of the buggy and walked toward her.
“What are you doing here?”
He grinned. “I live here.”
“But I thought you were having supper with Sarah and her family tonight.”
His grin faded, and his eyes searched her face. “I told you last night I was taking you out for supper tonight. Why would you think I’d change plans without calling you?”
“Sarah said—” she stopped as an awful thought occurred to her.
“When did you see her?”
“Today. She stopped by the shop.”
He frowned. “I hitched the buggy for her to take her dat to the doctor.”
“She said she was going to go pick him up after she got some things for her mother at the shop.”
“Sounds like she found time to make a little mischief,” he muttered. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “I shouldn’t have believed her.”
“Well, are we still having supper? You didn’t make other plans, did you?”
“Nee. I’ll go put my tote in the house and tell Mamm I’m going out.”
“Gut. I’ll be waiting.”
Rachel Ann walked up the drive and chastised herself for listening to Sarah. Then the other woman’s words came back to her. We invited Abram to supper. Sarah hadn’t said, Abram is coming to supper. She’d obviously asked and Abram had turned her down because he had plans with Rachel Ann.
So Rachel Ann had allowed Sarah to upset her for hours. She walked into the house and tossed her lunch tote down on a counter, disgusted with herself. But she hadn’t been able to sleep much because of the news from the doctor, and face it, she was just plain tired from working so much. It hadn’t taken much to upset her.
Something smelled wonderful. Rachel Ann peeked in the oven and saw a pan of stuffed pork chops browning beautifully. Her mouth watered.
“Hungry?”
Rachel Ann jerked in surprise, and the oven door slammed.
“Gut thing I’m not baking a cake,” her mother said, smiling.
She laughed. “Sorry. I was being nosy. Ya, I’m hungry, but I’m going to supper with Abram. Did I forget to tell you?”
“Ya but it’s fine. Tell him I said hello.”
“I will. I
won’t be out late. Four a.m. comes early.”
Her mother nodded. “Enjoy yourself.”
“Danki.” Would she enjoy herself? she wondered. She and Abram had argued last night about him not spending time with her lately, and there’d been tension between them. Then he’d insisted something was bothering her, and she’d felt too raw inside from the visit to the doctor and hadn’t been ready to talk about it yet.
Abram had always been able to sense when she was upset like no one else did—and understand her like no one else did. It was one of the things she loved about him. But how would he feel about being married to her if he knew they might never have kinner? If they didn’t complete their love as God intended? It was one of the reasons why God put a man and a woman together, wasn’t it?
“Where shall we go?” he asked her as he helped her into the buggy.
“You choose.”
He named a restaurant some distance away. “Unless you’re too hungry and want to eat right away?”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you feeling better today?”
“Ya.”
He told her he’d contacted some friends and would have help with the Zook chores until Melvin got on his feet. She felt better because he’d taken the step, and he’d cared about her feelings after their argument last night.
“Gut.” Afraid he was going to ask again what was bothering her as he’d done last night, Rachel Ann immediately plunged into a recounting of the day at the shop.
They didn’t have long to wait for a table at the restaurant. Abram ordered his favorite spaghetti and meatballs, and Rachel Ann decided to join him. She hadn’t had much lunch and was so hungry.
Rachel Ann glanced around as they waited for their salads to arrive. So many diners were concentrating on their cell phones around them, checking messages or texting. Even little kids were playing games on them. And it wasn’t just Englischers or younger people. Rachel Ann saw two Amish men checking messages on their phones and one elderly woman text while her husband ate dessert.
It was the same thing she’d seen one day when she’d gone to the movies with Michael. Didn’t anyone talk to each other anymore? she wondered.
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