by Mia Ford
She’s gone. I nod, satisfied. Anna has taken the hint. It’s okay, it’s safe.
I take a few steps, the taste of booze already almost on my lips, but before I reach the door, it swings open and I find myself face to face with the other woman in my life. The red haired pixie like beauty who’s like a breath of fresh air compared to Anna… but who has also betrayed me in her own special way.
“Raelyn?” I gasp, shock radiating through me. “What… what are you doing here?”
Her face flames red; she looks utterly humiliated. It leaves me wondering if she actually did hear something after all. She must have known at least something about it. Anna has been in the office all day long; gossip is bound to have run like crazy. She must have known that my ex-wife was around.
Urgh, how humiliating. It’s disgraceful. How can I explain this away? Do I even need to explain this away since she ended up dating someone else anyway? This really is a mess of our own making.
“I was just having an after drink work, that’s all.” She points behind her. “Now, I’m….”
“Leaving?” I nod slowly, wondering if this is what we both want. “Right, of course. Well I will just…”
I step to one side and let her pass. But she doesn’t move anywhere. She remains exactly where she is looking at me. There’s a deep curiosity in her eyes and I know she wants to know everything. She wants me to tear down my walls completely and to be open and honest with her. After what just happened with Anna, I kind of want to, however crazy it is, however much the idea scares me. But no words fly out of my mouth.
“Carter, I think we need to… to talk,” she says quietly. “Don’t you think?”
“Talk?” I repeat, sounding like a dumb parrot. I think my shoulders shrug but I’m not too sure.
“Yes. There are things that need to be said, aren’t there?”
Of course there are, but I’m too terrified to nod. I have just put one woman in the past forever now, I don’t know if I’m ready to do it again. This could be done on another day, surely? “I… I…”
She takes control. She grabs hold of me and pulls me around the side of the building and I allow her to do so. We end up around the other side of the building where no one can see us. We’re completely alone, but outside too. I guess this is where we’re going to end up having our conversation.
I sigh loudly as she presses me back against the wall. Her eyes flash with emotions as she runs her gaze all over my face. She’s searching me, trying to find an answer to all the questions she needs answering. I want to help her. If she can find the answers without me speaking, then we both win.
“You went on a date!” I blurt out without even thinking about it. “With another man.”
Her eyes widen in surprise, obviously she didn’t know that I was aware of that. Now, I’ve just given myself away as a crazed, obsessed stalker. There isn’t anything that I can say to make this any better.
“I… I did,” she admits. “But it was terrible. I did it to try and get over you and me, which I know sounds stupid because there wasn’t really much of a you and me, but I didn’t want to get all involved in a complicated situation. You and me, whatever happens between us, it could cause issues for the business. That’s what I was thinking. So, I agreed to go on a date with Thomas. I thought it might help me… but it was horrible. I didn’t like it; I didn’t like him. None of it was right. All it made me see was how much I like you. Even if I shouldn’t.”
“Wow…” I’m blown away by her honesty. Any anger dissipates. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
“I know, and I know that I have just dived into a more complicated situation than ever before, but I know that this is a ‘now or never’ situation. I know your ex is back in the picture and…”
“My ex isn’t back in the picture.” I shake my head hard. “I know that she’s been about today, but she isn’t back in the picture. She just… well she wanted something from me today. Just like she always does.”
“What does she always want from you? If I’m allowed to ask that.”
“Money.” Urgh, it feels dirty to admit this, but I kinda need to. Especially after what she just said to me. This right here, in this little dark alleyway, is the location of our most truthful conversation ever. To date. If this goes the way that I desperately want it to, then it will be the first of many.
“Money? That’s awful. Can’t she get her own money?”
I laugh at Raelyn through the darkness of my situation. Of course she thinks this way because she’s a kick ass independent woman who makes her own way in life. “You’d think, wouldn’t you? But apparently not.”
“So, is she gone now? She’s not likely to come back for more.”
“I wouldn’t think so, no. I’m pretty sure she got the hint now.”
A silence befalls us. All I can hear is our panting breaths as we breathe one another in. There is a deep passion there, but something else as well. An understanding between us as we slowly and tentatively peel back our layers. It’s scary to show her the real me, to be vulnerable and exposed, but I need to do this. It’s important.
“So, there’s no date?” I ask curiously. “Thomas is long gone.”
“Oh, he’s long gone. Never to return, thank the Lord. He was the rudest pig ever who admitted outright that he thought I owed him sex because he paid for dinner… not the man for me. And no wife?”
“My wife is gone. We divorced over a year ago because she cheated on me with my best friend.”
“Ooh, that’s nasty.” She winces. “That really sucks, I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry. She is long gone now and I’m glad. She was no good for me anyway.”
We’re closer now. I don’t know how that happened but we are. I can feel her tingling all the way through me. It’s nice, much more pleasant than Anna. I feel comfortable with Raelyn; she makes me feel good about myself. Now that I understand what’s going on with her better and she does me, this is thrilling.
She didn’t go on a date because she wanted to. She did it to get over me… but it didn’t work.
She likes me. She likes me potentially as much as I like her…
I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m excited to find out.
“No good for you, huh?” she asks me breathily.
“Not a sexist pig, like it sounds like your date was, but not a nice person either. Not like you.”
She smiles at my compliment, looking like I’ve touched her deeply. With that expression on her face, all I want to do is track down the man who upset her and punch him hard in the face, make him realize what he’s done… but then if he was nicer to her then perhaps, she wouldn’t be here with me now, maybe he did me a favor.
I reach out my finger and lightly stroke it down her cheek, loving the way she shivers under the weight of my touch. There’s also an adorable pinkness staining her face. She’s so sweet, so pretty, so lovely… and not nasty at all. I was wrong, and my mother was right… not that I will ever tell her that.
She tilts her head up towards me, her eyes glazed over with what I think is desire. I lean closer, desperate to kiss her. But I wait for just a moment, enjoying this gorgeous moment of anticipation before we dive in to something exciting and new. Yes, she’s right. It might get complicated, but I’m sure it will be worth it.
I rest my forehead against hers and look lovingly into her eyes, adoring every inch of her.
But then I can’t remain in this moment of anticipation for any longer. I need to connect with her. So, I close the gap between us and I kiss her. The way that our lips connect this time is different, it’s fuller, it’s wonderful. My hand hooks around the back of her waist, I pull her closer to me, I hold her tight and deepen the kiss. My tongue darts between her lips and she lets me in willingly. This time, it’s really her and it’s really me, and that makes it so much better.
22
Raelyn
The kiss makes my heart race so much faster, it’s
so wonderful, so delicious that I never want it to end. His ex-wife isn’t in the picture anymore, and it doesn’t matter how beautiful she is, she treated him like shit and cheated on him. Of course, he wouldn’t go back there. And he actually seems to like me as well which is amazing.
All the arguments against this still stand, it’s still very complicated, but I want it so very bad.
It feels so good to finally be open about what happened. About the date, about his past, about all of it. I love knowing who he is, I adore him knowing who I am too, it feels incredible to have gotten to this place. So happy.
“You are so sexy.” He grabs my waist and spins me around, so it’s my back against the wall. I hit the cold, hard brick wall hard, but it does nothing to calm down the deep pulsing pounding at my core.
“Sexy?” I giggle girlishly and toss my head back, my hair flickering everywhere. “I don’t know about that.”
“Hmm, yeah you are.” He buries his face into my exposed throat and kisses me. Every so often, the kiss becomes a lick or a gentle nibble, which feels utterly incredible. I have gone from down deep in the ground, to soaring high in just a few short moments, all because of this wonderful man. “So fucking sexy.”
My hands run all over him and an involuntary moan escapes my throat as I feel those wonderful muscles of his. He has this incredible body that I just want to hold forever. Strong and powerful. Sexy as hell. I tug his shirt up a little and feel underneath, not even caring that we’re getting quite frisky out here in public where anyone could see us. I don’t even think I’d care if someone walked around that corner right now. I wouldn’t be able to stop. Not when Carter’s hungry fingers are slowly travelling down my body to search me.
He’s searching for something, trying to find the core of me, and I’m desperate for him to find it. To find me.
I arch my back and roll my hips into him, showing him just how I feel. Even if this moment is far more serious than anything that’s ever come before, it’s still very sexually charged. Full of passion, drenched with desire.
My head lolls to one side and my eyes fall closed as he tugs on the waistband of my underwear, begging for entrance. I probably shouldn’t let him in, not while we’re here in public, but I’ve lost all control. My rational thoughts have shut right down and I’m becoming a slave to the sensations tearing through my body. The wonderful, buzzing, fluttering, flapping sensations bursting and exploding inside of me.
“Oh, shit,” I gasp out, my eyes snapping closed to block out the world. “Oh, Carter.”
His fingers crawl through my public hair tantalizingly slowly. He’s teasing me, I can hardly stand it. I want to raise myself higher, to ensure that he connects with my core as soon as possible, but I try my utmost to be patient, to wait for him, even if it kills me. And finally, my patience pays off. His finger traces along my slit, and he lets out a guttural groan as moves his finger. He loves feeling just how wet I am for him.
“Oh, Raelyn, you have no idea what you do to me.”
I don’t get the chance to answer him because he plunges into me then, sending my head spinning. His fingers explore me, massage me, graze my walls until I’m shuddering. There’s already a pressure of heat building in the pit of my belly, and that can only go one way. I’m steaming towards the edge already.
“Oh fuck, Raelyn,” he gasps as he hints for my clit. “I love to see you fall apart.”
He might as well have just told me that he loves me, the effect that his words have on me. The fog fills my brain, it’s heady and full of lust. I love it. I cling to him, I grip onto his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin. I need him to keep me upright, because right now, the way that he’s turned my legs to jelly means I could easily collapse in a heap on this dirty, dusty floor. It will be a walk of shame enough; I don’t want to make it worse.
“Carter,” I pant, loving the way that his name feels on my lips. “Carter, Carter…”
His fingers push into me again and his thumb works my clit. The combination of sensations is too much for me. I reach the peak of the mountain, my body stiffening under the pressure, and then I fall. I tumble over the edge. I scream and cry out far too loudly as I tumble down the hill, through the intense, crashing sensations. My bones shatter, my body crumbles, I melt completely. I’m a puddle in Carter’s hands, just where I need to be.
The pleasure is intense and powerful, it’s almost more than anything that came before. There’s more in it, we have a lot more on the line now, and it’s wonderful. It’s absolutely everything.
“Oh, Raelyn,” he rasps while kissing me over the top of my head. “You are amazing.”
My breaths are hacking and desperate, my lungs are ragged and painful, but the post orgasmic bliss is so powerful and intense, I love it. I wrap my arms tightly around him and I pull myself against his chest. His heart is pounding as furiously as mine, he seems as worked up as I am and I haven’t even touched him yet…
“Come back to mine,” he pleads. “I want to spend some more time with you there.”
I nod, agreeing with him without a moment of hesitation. I want to go to his house, to learn even more about this wonderful man. I now want to know absolutely everything about him. “Yes, of course. Let’s go.”
As we break apart, there isn’t any of the awkwardness that there was before. It’s all just gone… I guess along with opening up to one another a bit more, we have also chipped away at all of that. It’s nice.
“We can walk there, if you like?” he asks me. “I live within walking distance, I just usually drive because I’m so late, or in case I need to leave the office in a hurry for any reason.”
“Such as?” I cock an eyebrow curiously at him.
“I don’t know, a meeting or something.” He laughs. “Okay, it’s usually just the late thing.”
“If we walk, you’ll have to be up early tomorrow to make sure you can walk.”
“If you’re at my place, I don’t think I’ll be going to sleep at all.”
Those words send a shiver racing up and down my spine. Instantly, I start thinking about all the different ways that we might spend the time alone together, and that thrills me. We have only been able to explore one another so much. It would be nice to have more time, more space, more freedom…
“Okay, sure. Let’s go.”
He holds out his hand to me and I take it. As we walk, it feels as natural as breathing to have his fingers laced around mine. I can’t even understand why it was weird before. What was the point of the barriers when it could be so good? I can’t keep the smile off my face as we move through the alleyways in a strange direction.
“Do we have to walk this way through the shadows?” I giggle. “Can’t we go a more public way?”
“We could, but if we did, I wouldn’t be able to do this…”
He grabs me and pushes me back against the wall, kissing me hard once more. Even though he’s just sent me spinning into heaven, I’m on fire again. Flames race all over me and I seriously can’t wait until we get back to his place and I can do all the things that I want to with him.
“Okay yeah, fair enough,” I pant as we split apart. “I like this way now.”
“I don’t live far anyway. We don’t have far to go now. This way is a little quicker.”
He pulls me close to him. He tugs me nearer to his body, and his warmth tingles all over me. His warmth washes over me and makes me feel safe and secure. Like I’ve never felt before. Thank God things didn’t work out with Thomas. I’m glad now that he was boring and arrogant. If I’d liked him even a little bit, then this would be really complicated now. Or not, because there isn’t anywhere I’d want to be other than here.
“What was that?” I hiss as I hear voices coming from… well, I don’t know where really. It’s all disorientating in this labyrinth of alleyways. “Did you hear that, or am I going mad?”
It felt dangerous. I don’t know why but my gut instinct is fearful. Unless it’s looking for a reason to get closer to
Carter. I do like the sensation of his arm wrapped around my shoulder, I can’t deny that.
“I don’t know. Maybe I did hear something then, I’m not sure.”
It rings out again. A gruff yelling. I can’t hear anything that’s being said, but the sound is definitely there.
“Ooh, something is going on. Should we go and investigate or should we run off in the other direction?”
“We wouldn’t have liked it if someone came to watch us a moment ago.”
“I wouldn’t have cared. Let them watch!”
I shove him in the side. “Yeah, because it wouldn’t have been your body on show.”
He smiles brightly, and it honestly makes him look more handsome than I have ever seen before. The dark shadows he usually wears on his expression is gone. Whether that’s to do with saying goodbye to his past or hello to a potential future with me, I’m not sure, but I like it.
“I don’t think that sounds like what we were doing anyway.”
“No, maybe not, but I think we should avoid it anyway.” I nod determinedly. “Just to be on the safe side.”
“Okay, I agree. But it’s hard to tell where the noise is coming from here.”
He takes my hand again and we walk silently. I don’t know how Carter is feeling about all of this but I’m nervous as all hell. Everything zig zags and shoots like chaotic, annoying lightning bolts. I want to be cool about this, I have street smarts, some strange yelling shouldn’t trouble a usually independent woman like me, but it does and I don’t know why. There’s a voice in the back of my brain just screaming at me.
It’s just been an emotional day; I try to convince myself. There’s nothing real to worry about here.
“Uh oh,” Carter hisses quietly beside me. “I think we’re getting closer.”
“Are you winding me up? Don’t say that. Are you sure?”
“I’m not sure… but let’s go this way. I think that’s the best way.”
I trust him because I’m sure that he knows the way better than me, so I follow behind, pressing close to him as we go. I only stop when he does, but I don’t know why.