Crashing Into You (Paragon Series Book 3)

by Juliana Stevens

  "Are you real?" he asked dreamily, cupping her face in his hands. She smiled and kissed his lips, feeling bold.

  "It's been so long since I've done that. Not that it's ever happened with all my clothes on still," she said, laughing.

  "I love that sound." He smiled, and his eyes sparkled radiantly. She felt herself blush. "You can't blush anymore, not after that." He kissed her lips softly. "I don't want you to be nervous around me."

  "I don't want to be," she admitted.

  "Then don't be." She heard the familiar teasing in his voice, and she smiled.

  "You're very sexy," she said, her breath catching when the words slipped out.

  "You're sexy." His voice was gravelly, his eyes inflamed.

  "I'm sorry you didn't, uh, that you didn't get a chance to..." she said, her voice trailing off.

  "Don't worry about me." He kissed her, his tongue dancing playfully with hers for a moment before pulling away. "I should probably go before you get me fired up again."

  "Okay," she said, smiling, turning to open the door. "I guess my break is about over."

  "You're extraordinary," he said, taking her by surprise. She turned to him and, before she could stop them, tears were streaming down her face. His eyes widened, but he pulled her in a hug. He ran his fingers through her hair, and she cried in his arms.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Denise parked her car beside Alex's Jeep, seeing him sitting on a park bench watching the lake. She wondered if he would be there after the incident in the storage room that afternoon. She was embarrassed, thinking of it. She couldn't believe she cried in his arms! After he pleased her like he did, even with all their clothes on. And at work, no less. She hadn't been so turned on in such a long time, had forgotten what it felt like. She was getting hot now, just thinking about his breath on her skin and the way his eyes looked yearningly into hers. She barely made it through the rest of the workday because of it.

  "Get a grip," she told herself, checking herself in the mirror. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, taking the path that led to him.

  "Hi," he said, standing up when she reached him and pulling her in for a hug. At least he didn't seem to feel awkward. "Take a walk or have a seat?"

  "A walk sounds good," she said, thinking it was the safer bet. He smiled, taking her hand, and they walked quietly along the water's edge.

  "I used to come here a lot as a kid," he said, thoughtful. "Hanging with friends or my mom if she didn't have to work."

  "Sounds nice."

  "It was." He let go of her hand and turned to face her. "About this afternoon."

  "We don't have to do this," she said, walking away from him, a bubble of fear wanting to burst inside of her. She took a deep breath and blinked back the tears begging to come. "Not now."

  "Denise," he said, keeping up with her. "You practically kicked me out of the store earlier. I want to know how you're doing."

  "Alex," she said, shaking her head but facing him. "I think you would know after this afternoon I'm not good when it comes to my feelings. I definitely don't want to talk about what happened."

  "If that's what you want," he said, sounding disappointed.

  "I told you I'm a mess, remember?"

  "You did, but something happened between us."

  "Yeah," she said, faltering under the gleam of his blue eyes staring into hers. "It was incredible and scary. And fun but mostly scary. It was scary afterward, not during."

  "Good to know," he said, smiling.

  "I've put a lot of walls up over the years. I'm thinking they're not ready to come down anytime soon. I know you're going through something, too."

  "You're right, I didn't expect that to happen. It was incredible, but I'm more curious to know how you felt since you cried in my arms after."

  "Oh, that?" she asked, keeping her tone light. "Emotions got the better of me there. It was the first time in forever since I... well, since anything like that happened. The last time was with my husband, and he's been gone four years. I think I cried because of that, and because you called me extraordinary. The word got to me, I guess."

  "Did your husband call you that?" he asked softly.

  "No, I just felt guilty. This might sound crazy to you, but I can't help feeling like I'm cheating on him in some way."

  "It doesn't sound crazy. It sounds like you love him."

  "I've never fully come to terms with him being gone," she said honestly, turning to face the water. The lake looked beautiful, even in the darkness of the night. "I'll love Benny forever, that's the way it is. Love is something I can't do again, Alex. I've always known, on some level, that it's long gone for me in the romantic sense."

  "Well, I asked how you felt," he said, sounding disappointed. "It's not like you didn't warn me from the beginning."

  "No one ever listens to me," she said airily. She looked up at him, and he smiled sadly. She dared to touch his face, and he took her hand and pressed it to his lips. A ripple of excitement shot through her. He flipped her hand, kissing her palm, and her fingertips grazed his nose and lips. He licked a trail from her palm to her wrist, his blue eyes staring into hers. Her breath quickened. He kissed up her arm, licking and biting the sensitive spot on the inside of her elbow. He pulled her sleeve down, kissing and licking circles along her shoulder. Her breath was ragged now, and her other hand found the back of his neck, caressing it. He kissed her neck vigorously, and she wanted to fall limp in his arms. He traced her jawline with his tongue, and she shuddered. She wrapped a leg around his and he pulled her towards him, holding her steady. He sucked on her ear, licking all around it.

  "You're magnetizing," he growled in her ear. Her hands made their way under his shirt, and she ran her frenzied fingers up his back. He groaned and she trembled, needing him desperately. She pushed him away at that realization.

  "Alex," she said, recollecting herself. She walked to the bench, sitting on it and steadying her breath. A few minutes later, he joined her.

  "I'm sorry," they both said in unison, then laughed.

  "I told you I'm a mess."

  "Stop saying that," he said gently, bumping her shoulder with his. She smiled.

  "I'm all over the map, though."

  "You're doing better than you think you are."

  "Inside this," she said, waving her hands over herself. "It's a turmoil."

  "I'm going to say it's okay and understandable. You lost someone you love. It's not an easy thing to bounce back from."

  "It's not," she agreed. "I pushed it down for a long time, and I've never fully accepted it like one should do. I miss him and what we had every day. I feel like it should be easier by now. I thought I let him go, I really did. I woke up the other day feeling so brave, but I don't think I am."

  "Grief is different for everyone," he said thoughtfully, placing a hand on hers. "There are good days and bad days, and you just have to make it through each one."

  "That's what I've been doing, for four years," she said, feeling frustrated.

  "I'm sorry if I'm not saying the right thing."

  "It's not that," she said, smiling at him. "I wish it could be different. I wish it were easier at this point."

  "I understand," he said, his voice soft. "I think we have a lot in common. I haven't lost anyone in the way you have, but I know what it's like to want to move on from your past. To want to find yourself again. At least the new version of yourself when it's time to start over."

  "Yes," she said, nodding. "Do you want to talk about it?"

  "I do," he said, growing somber, and she nodded. "Wendy and I broke up a few months ago, after being together almost two years. She was moody, but I loved her. Too much, probably. I'm embarrassed to think about the control she had over me. We lived together but she wanted me to move out, so I did. The longer I'm away from it, the more I can see what was going on right in front of me." He sighed heavily, and she squeezed his hand. "It turned out, she'd been sleeping with my best friend for months. They say they we
re in love even before that, so it's supposed to be justifiable. At least, that's what they tried to tell me."

  "Don't tell me they expected you to forgive them because they were in love!" Denise exclaimed.

  "More or less," he said, and she gasped.

  "I'm so sorry, Alex. Unforgivable."

  "That's what I thought," he said, chuckling, but she could see he was hurt.

  "How did you find out?"

  "I stopped by her place after work one day and they were waiting to tell me the good news."

  "I can't imagine," she said, shaking her head. "That's a shame, having to lose your best friend and girlfriend in one day."

  "My job, too," he muttered, and she eyed him curiously. "Did I forget to mention he owns the restaurant I worked at? Sometimes I think I miss it most of all, but maybe I just tell myself that. Either way, it's why I ended up back here. It became too hard to be there. We all have the same friends, the same favorite places."

  "It hasn't been the best few months for you, has it?" she asked, squeezing his hand again. "I'm so sorry, Alex. You deserved better from your friends."

  "There's been one bright spot from it all," he said, smiling warmly.

  "Seeing your mom again?"

  "Two bright spots. I was going to say meeting you."

  "Alex!" she exclaimed, laughing. "You are a hopeless flirt, aren't you?"

  "You bring it out in me," he said teasingly.

  "I'm sure."

  "You don't believe me," he stated, and she laughed before turning serious.

  "No. You're hurting, and I'm someone you think could be a fun time. Which is understandable, now that I know what's happened. But, my goodness, you could not have picked more poorly."

  "Why do you say that?"

  "I'm sure there are plenty of people who would jump at the chance to have a fling with you if that's what you're looking for. It seems like you are."

  "Is that what you think?" he asked, but he seemed more curious than offended, and she nodded. "I guess I'm a mess, too. I won't agree that you're not fun because you are, and you've proven that."

  "Alex!" she said, blushing.

  "Just saying," he said, flashing a flirty smile. "I like you, Denise, that's obvious by now. You know my story now, and I kind of know yours. Our hearts are a little beat up, but I feel a magnetic pull towards you. We've only known each other a couple weeks but something is there. Also, even though I know I shouldn't be, I can't help but be flattered about this afternoon."

  "Why shouldn't you be?" she asked bravely, feeling instantly hot remembering their time in the storage room.

  "It's been a while for you, right? Anyone would've had that effect on you."

  "Mmm," she murmured, nodding towards the lake. "Over there, anyone could've made me so excited? Just by teasing me like you did?"

  "Couldn't they?" he asked, his voice raspy. He scooted closer to her, and she grasped his leg. If it was to stop him from coming closer or to have a reason to touch him, she didn't know.

  "I forgot what it was like to even be attracted to someone. You woke that part of me up, Alex. I don't think just anyone could've done it."

  "I'm glad to hear that," he said, grinning. "You make me feel like I'm in high school again. I'm so excited to see you every day, it's unbelievable."

  "That's great and all," she said, pulling her eyes from his. "But nothing can happen here. You're leaving soon, aren't you?"

  "Yes. On Thursday, I was going to tell you," he said, rising and reaching for her hand. She took it as she stood up, and they walked leisurely to their cars together. "I really do like you."

  "I like you, too," she admitted.

  "This is my stop," he said when they reached the Jeep.

  "I am curious about one thing," she said before getting in her Camry.

  "What's that?"

  "You said you had something to talk about with me, regarding your mom."

  "That completely slipped my mind," he said, chuckling. "I'm going back home because I have an interview on Friday. It's a great opportunity for me. My mom wants to spend the weekend there shopping and being a tourist. If I get the job, I'll be busy again, and it would be nice to have the time with her before that happens."

  "That's a nice idea," Denise said, surprised how sad she felt by the idea of him being gone. In such a short time, he'd come to mean something to her.

  "I was hoping you could come. I will pay for your ticket, you don't have to worry about that. My mom will be there, so you know I won't try anything. My apartment isn't the biggest, but it has a guest room for her. You can have my room and I'll take the couch. My mom would enjoy it if you're there, too. She's already said as much."

  "Oh?" she asked, taken aback. One second, she felt sad thinking about his leaving, the next he asked her to spend the weekend with him. She didn't hate the idea, but she wasn't sure it was a good one. "I couldn't take your room. Plus, I don't know how I feel about you paying for my ticket, especially since you don't have a job right now."

  "I'm not worried about any of that. I already have a few offers, I'll be good on the job front. If those are your only concerns..."

  "No, just the ones off the top of my head," she said, laughing nervously. "I'm already going to Dallas next weekend. I don't know if I can afford Chicago, too."

  "Think about it," he said, smiling at her. "I won't get her ticket until tomorrow, so you can let me know by then. My mom isn't leaving until Friday, I'll make sure it's after you're off work if you decide to go. I hope you can because if I get the job, I won't have a lot of free weekends. I would love to show you around before my life gets hectic again."

  "It is tempting," she said hesitantly. "I'll think about it tonight."

  "That's all I'm asking!" he said excitedly. "It'll be fun."

  She shook her head and smiled. "I'm sure it will be."

  "Come here," he said, grinning.

  "No," she said, opening the door to her car but not getting inside.

  "You know you want to."

  She smiled at him, getting inside her car and starting it. In an instant he was knocking on her window, so she rolled it down. "Yes?" she asked teasingly.

  "Goodnight, Denise." He leaned in her car and kissed her cheek, dropping something on her lap. She looked down to see a business card with his contact information. "I'll obviously have to update those, but the cell is still the same. Call or text me, anytime."

  "I will. Goodnight, Alex." He waved and walked away, blowing her a kiss before he got in his Jeep. Denise smiled all the way home.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Denise was lost in thought the next morning at the bookstore when Grace walked in. She looked up from her spot behind the counter, not surprised she remembered her name. Grace wore a flowy pink dress that flattered her fair skin tone, and she smiled happily when she spotted Denise. It was as though the air around her vibrated with affection and sweetness somehow. Denise chuckled at the thought, but it was true nonetheless.

  "How are you doing today, Denise?" Grace sang out. "You look much better than when I left you last, if not a little contemplative."

  Denise smiled. "How did I seem last?"

  "There was something about you," Grace said, serious, sitting on an arm chair by the magazine rack. Her every movement was like a dance, making her mesmerizing to watch. "You seemed rather fearful."

  "Really?" Denise asked, surprised by the response.

  "There was the man, you know who I mean," Grace said, snapping her fingers. "The one who was easy on the eyes. I asked about him, and you closed up instantly."

  "Yes, Alex, but I hardly knew him at the time." Denise felt like she was in a dream. Grace said things to her like they were best friends when it was only their second encounter. She felt she could've poured her heart out to her regardless of that fact.

  "There was an attraction, I sensed it. Trust me, I know of these things." She smiled like they shared a secret, and Denise found it was contagious.

  "Yes, but he's leavi
ng. He lives in Chicago, and it's time for him to go back. It's probably for the best because..."

  "Go on, dear," Grace urged. Denise blinked, feeling dazed.

  "It could never work. The long-distance thing alone, much less... well, it doesn't matter. He lives there, I live here. Nothing else to it."

  "No way of that changing?"

  "That's doubtful. We don't know each other enough to move for the other if that's what you're asking. Even a friendship seems questionable due to the distance. He asked me to go visit with his mom this weekend but said his life will be too busy after that."

  "Even I question how this could work," Grace said, pensive. "Maybe it's not the match I thought. I have to say, Denise, this is quite the conundrum."

  "Excuse me?" Denise asked, unsure what to think of the conversation anymore. As mesmerizing as Grace was, she was undoubtedly strange.

  "I'm thinking," Grace said, puzzling Denise further. "You said he invited you for the weekend?"

  "Yes. I don't have much time left to decide. I'm sure he's waiting on me to get back to him any minute."

  "You have no choice but to go!" Grace said excitably, and Denise laughed at the craziness of the entire conversation.

  "What makes you so sure?"

  "You're due for some fun."

  "Why would you say that?" Denise asked. Grace rose and walked around the counter, placing her hands firmly on her shoulders. Denise was immediately bombarded with varying emotions, so much that she could've fainted if she wasn't sitting down. "I feel a little lightheaded."

  "I'm sorry, it must be my perfume," Grace said breezily, walking away. She moved closer to the door, eyeing Denise. "It's why I like to keep my distance from people."

  "Okay," she said, feeling rattled.

  "I'm very empathetic, Denise. I know you have a wall up. I don't mean to be so forceful, but you leave me no choice. I think it could be good, you going away for the weekend."

  "I think so, too, and that's why I'm going to Dallas. I'll be meeting up with some old friends. You should agree that'll be a good thing." Although Denise was stumped as to why she felt the need to explain herself to anyone, she couldn't seem to stop herself.