The faint beeping noise woke me. I opened my eyes and thought somehow I made it to heaven. Hazy white was all I saw for a moment until my vision cleared with each blink of my eyes.
Blue scrubs with yellow ducks came into view. “Good. You are awake.”
“Where am I?” The question sounded lame to my own ears. It was obvious I was in a medical facility.
A thermometer was shoved into my mouth before I could say anything else. “You’re at University Medical Center in Princeton, New Jersey. You sustained a concussion. It’s standard procedure for you to be thoroughly checked out. “Do you remember what happened to you?”
I thought about it for a second. “I took a bad hit.”
She didn’t answer me. She lifted her head, and I followed her line of sight to a monitor to the left of my head. It kept track of my vitals based on all the wires and probes attached to me.
“Your mother was contacted. Your coach and the team doctor had to leave on the bus, but they’ve been in constant contact regarding your status. My understanding is that someone is driving back for you.”
I nodded, wondering who would have to upset their evening to come and get me.
She continued without pause. “You probably also have some questions. I’ll notify the doctor you are awake. I’m sure he’ll want to run a few more test on your before he’ll consider releasing you.”
When she took a breath, I asked, “Do you know who’s coming for me?”
She shook her head no. “But your coach wanted you to contact him when you woke up.”
My phone appeared in her hand after she walked over to my bag, the one I’d brought for the trip that had my change of clothes. She handed my phone over.
I met her brown eyes and saw kindness. She was probably in her mid-thirties because she looked older than me, but younger than my mother. “Are you hungry?”
Despite the growl from my stomach, I shook my head no.
“Alright sweetie, I’ll be back in a few.” She patted my head like my father had done hundreds of time when I was a boy. I closed my eyes for a second feeling utterly alone.
After she left, I stared at the thing like it was a ticking bomb. I finally decided to text the coach. I sent him a short message letting him know I was awake. His response was immediate. He called, wanting to speak to me directly. I managed to convince him not to drive back right away because I was fine, and it would be boring to wait hours until the doctor decided to release me. After spouting University policy and legalese that required a staff member accompany me home, he asked that I let him know when the doctor thought I would be able to leave. I let him think I would by not committing to anything and letting his words be the end of our conversation. I didn’t plan on being a burden to anyone.
I let my hand fall away as I closed my eyes. I hadn’t even asked if we’d won the game.
Hours later as the nurse wheeled me out with my bag; I had a moment to wonder if this was what prisoners felt like when they were released from jail. No one waited to see me home. A car pulled into the covered circle beyond the emergency doors. I watched a person with bloody gauze wrapped around their forearm get out of that car as the nursed helped me from the wheelchair.
“Your coach will be here, right?”
Not wanting to outright lie, I said, “I contacted him.”
Instead, I’d just used the Uber app on my phone to set up a cab ride. Up to that point, I hadn’t had much occasion to use the app before. I set it up to have the cabbie to drop me off at a train station, so I could Amtrak it home.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything else I can do to help?”
I gave her the best smile I could muster because she’d been more of a mother to me than my own. She’d ordered a meal for me despite my refusal. She made me eat it and tried to convince me I wasn’t a total loser for being alone with her words of comfort.
“I’m fine. But thanks for everything.”
At that moment, I wished that I were still rich. I would have offered to buy her a car even though I knew kindness wasn’t something you could buy. In my lifetime, I could count the number of genuine people that had crossed my path on one hand.
She patted my arm and went back inside. When I turned around to face the wait for the cab alone, Jess stood with her eyes filled with tears.
“Ethan.”
thirty-three
less than two years ago
Allie surprised me when she told me to pick her up at Sam’s house.
“Come in,” Sam said curling his finger as he held the door open wide. “Dude, it’s going to be sick tonight.”
“I heard.” I searched the open areas for Allie. Her car was in the drive, but she was nowhere to be found.
“Brice said he hired some pole dancers.” Sam’s face appeared delighted by the prospect.
I’d heard the guy had hired strippers for the party. “I don’t remember any poles in his house.”
“They come with their own shit apparently. They even clean up afterward for an extra charge. I don’t know, but if true, this party will be talked about for ages.”
I nodded. “Is Allie around?”
He bobbed his head then gestured with his hands. “She’s taken over my bathroom man. She’s got all kinds of shit all over the counter. Now I understand why girls carry those big ass bags. I thought they were weapons of mass destruction used to protect themselves from the likes of us. Either that or they hauled around their maxi pad shit. But you know when its maxi pad time, they’re usually wearing a bitch face instead of powder,” he said while shaking his head like bobble head fashion.
I laughed. “So you and Allie?” I fished.
My question wasn’t because I was jealous, in fact, just the opposite. Allie finding someone else was a good thing. However, Carly had created mistrust in me. Had Allie lied to me about Sam and her? I liked him and didn’t want her to use him to get to me or vice versa.
Sam leaned in conspiratorially.
“I’ve totally tried to hit that for months. You know how hot she is. I thought for sure she’d be into you or Dale. And she has begged me off for a while. Something about some other guy she was into. But today, she totally gave me the green light. We’re like official now.”
I gave him a fist bump just as Allie strolled in with lips the color of cherries. The way she walked, you’d think a wind machine blew in her direction as she strutted down a fictitious Victoria’s Secret runway. Her tits jiggled with each step. Her legs appeared long in a dress that barely covered said secrets. I was pretty sure Sam and I wore matching gaping stares.
Sam’s fist bumped mine again waking me from a dream. As hot as she was, I wasn’t disappointed she wasn’t mine.
When she reached us, she waved a bottle in front of us. “Anyone need a drink?”
The lime flavored Bacardi wasn’t my favorite but I cracked it open and took a long pull anyway.
“Dude, who’s going to drive?” Sam asked.
“Me, come on.”
Sam and Allie piled into my back seat leaving me to drive limo style. Allie giggled crawling all over Sam. If she was trying to get me jealous, she was mistaken. Instead, I took covert swigs of the abandoned bottle as we made our way to the party.
The house was large as most in that neighborhood. The drive was long and curved around a fountain in the middle near the front door. Cars had already taken up the available space. The Bacardi had begun to kick in, and I pulled on the grass and came to a stop.
Allie was twisted as well. She must have begun drinking before I’d gotten to Sam’s. “Ethan, you’re crazy, you can’t park on their grass.”
“I just did,” I declared as I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me.
There was utter chaos when we opened the double doors. There were two poles on either side of the foyer where double curved stairs led to the second floor. Several girls, who wore not much more than crisscrossing spider webs over their legs, stood there. The tiniest of black shorts covered very
little of their lower parts and cones topped their tits as a cascade of strings hung from each of the ends. I couldn’t even tell you the color of their hair or eyes. I averted my attention to the DJ, who was set up at the top of the stairs, as music blasted through the house’s sound system. Red and Blue cups were everywhere filling my face with a smile.
“Later,” I said to Allie and Sam, who stood beside me taking it all in.
Only, I spotted Carly dancing, or rather rubbing herself all over the guy that stood behind her.
“Ignore her, Ethan.” Allie, who had apparently followed me, had risen on her toes to speak in my ear.
I shrugged despite the flicker of jealousy. Before I could turn away, another guy stepped in front of Carly and sandwiched her between himself and the other guy at her back. I didn’t know who the guys were. I waited a second too long unable to stop the protective instinct. I knew if she showed any signs of discomfort, I would step in and handle it. Her smile widened, and she created a wave with her lithe little body as she slithered over the new guy in front of her. I turned and stepped away as Allie patted my back.
I pushed through the crowd toward the back part of the house. I’d been to parties there before and knew my way around. At the bar, I made myself useful. One shot for someone, one shot for me. The process was working out well as I manned the station until the girl I called Peaches, because her tits reminded me of them, saddled up next to me. She and I hooked up every now and then when neither of us had anyone else. Soon, I had my tongue down her throat with my hand on her ass when a familiar voice called my name.
My blonde nightmare materialized, sporting heavy lids and smeared lipstick. A flicker of jealous hit my gut, but I played it cool.
I kept my arm around Peaches and called out over the music, “Need a drink?”
“I need something, and it isn’t you,” Carly sneered.
“I can tell. Your antics out there only make the rumors about you seem true.”
“What rumors?” Her smile was wicked, and I hated I still found her attractive. “I’m just having fun.”
“Fun will get you in trouble.” I had no idea why I was preaching to her. Why should I even care?
“Oh, you’re just jealous. You had your chance, and you turned me away.”
Allie and Sam walked over, but Carly ignored them, and so did I.
“I’m not jealous. Just because I don’t want you, doesn’t mean I don’t want you safe.”
“You don’t have to care about me at all. I got my big break. I’ve been cast in a movie as the lead. It’s about a girl with a past, and that’s all I can say. Filming will start in two months. But I won’t be coming back. My family and I are moving to California. There is also possible cable series with my name on it. ”
She clapped and bounced on her feet while she glanced at Allie with an I know your jealous smile. Then she turned the wattage on high for me. Her words stung more than I would ever admit. She’d come to my house earlier to make up with me when she’d known in the back of her head she was moving for good. Nobody wanted to feel foolish, and I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet for ever falling for her.
A second later Brice saddled up to her side. Immediately, my protective instincts perked up. I knew a lot more about the guy than she did. But, she was a big girl and why should I care?
Carly’s eyes flickered to Peaches and the whole tone of her banter changed. “You know if you don’t already know—”
Peaches, who didn’t like Carly or Allie, was quick to cut her off with her words and a protective arm around my waist. “Oh, I know.”
“Then you know, just because of that,” Carly’s eyes dipped below my belt, “Doesn’t mean he knows how to use it.”
A couple of people who were close enough to hear, including traitorous Brice, chortled. However, I forgave Brice. I understood him. He planned to get laid and wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize that from happening. I ignored her comment, deeming it not worthy of me making a scene. She wanted to get a rise out of me, and I couldn’t give her what she wanted.
Carly, however, wasn’t done. “And be careful.” She quickly glanced at me then back to Peaches. “He can get pretty handsy, but you probably already know that.” To make her point, she clasped her neck and mocked being choked with a gaping mouth and rolled up eyes. For good measure, she added, “Mommy issues.”
Like a rubber band, my control snapped. Curses flew out of my mouth as I moved the few steps forward like a big cat on the hunt. Carly’s eyes narrowed but when there were only a few inches of counter that stood between us, she backed up with fear in her eyes.
“See, like I said, you should be careful.” She’d spoken with her attention focused over my shoulder.
The crowd nearby watched me warily. And I knew all I felt for that bitch was hate with all my blackened heart. I couldn’t glance back at Peaches. I didn’t want to see her disgust. When a hand smoothed over my shoulder to my chest, I glanced back to see Peaches’ sexy smile.
“I told you not to mess with the help. She’s a wanna be actress. She’s probably slept with all the producers to get that part. Why don’t we go have some real fun?” she whispered.
It was like music in my ear, and I turned around. I kissed her before grabbing her hand and making a beeline for the back stairs. Her giggles became more apparent as we separated from the music that blasted below. Apparently, Brice hadn’t turned on the sound upstairs.
I made a beeline for the one open door not caring it was a bathroom when a shout stopped me in dead front of a door that led a place I didn’t want to enter.
“Don’t! Stop! Please. I don’t want to!” were the rapid-fire cries from the other side of the door.
Peaches stepped back and not because she didn’t want to help. She looked afraid. I closed my eyes resolved in what I had to do next. I tried the knob. It was locked.
“Open up,” I shouted.
“Ethan,” came a sharp cry before it was muffled.
I went in with my shoulder like a battering ram. It took a couple of tries before the door gave into my pounding. I stumbled into the room.
Carly laid spread on Brice’s bed. He hovered over her with her hands pinned over her head. He glanced over at me.
“What the fuck man? You broke my door.”
I ignored the useless words.
“Dude, let her go.”
He chuckled. “Why bro? The bitch said she liked it rough.”
A part of me wanted to walk away. I knew Carly very well. But the other part of me remembered all she told me about her uncle. The fear that laced her eyes felt real and I had to trust that.
“Get. The. Fuck. Off. Her.”
Brice’s glassy eyes met mine. “You had your turn. Now it’s time to share.”
I’d given him the enough warnings. I drove into him, sending him careening off the bed. He was so drunk, he only moaned on the floor not bothering to put up a fight. I swayed to my feet, my addled brain not quite itself.
Carly was crying, and I tried to get her to stand. She snatched her hand away as if I’d been the one to violate her.
“No, fuck you. This is your fault.”
Wide-eyed, I blinked a few times. “My fucking fault. You’re here ready to give it up to him. You’re the slut they say you are.” She slapped me hard making it the third time I’d allowed her to put her hands on me in that way. When I thought about it later, I would realize I deserved it. It had been a low blow because my ego was still bruised by her calculating ways. “Fuck. Don’t fucking hit me. I saved you.”
“I didn’t ask you to,” she yelled back.
“Fuck you,” I threw back with nothing else to say.
I turned and stomped out of the room only Carly followed.
“I’m sorry Ethan. Take me home,” she pleased with her tiny hand gripping my bicep.
“No.” The word was flat, and I moved away from her as fast as I could without running.
There was no sign of Peaches in the h
all. She must have fled. I made my way back downstairs the way I’d come and ran into Allie and Sam. I took the bottle from Allie’s hand and chugged it.
Leaving half left, I said, “I’m leaving. You guys coming?”
Carly had joined us with tear stained cheeks. Allie and Sam traded glances.
“Fuck this.” That word had become the only one I knew. I ignored them all and plowed through the crowd and out the front door. I was in my car before Sam and Allie piled in the backseat.
“Bro, should you be driving?” Sam tried to be reasonable, but we’d all been drinking.
“What the fuck. It’s my car. You can walk if you want to.”
Carly crawled into the front seat just as I got the engine on.
“Get the fuck out!”
She crossed her arms over her chest as tears continued to stream down her face.
Fuck me, I thought as I drove out nearly sideswiping a few cars along the way. Besides Mom’s refusal of replacing my car after what came next, my life had forever changed by that one drunken decision to drive.
thirty-four
Before I could stop her, Jess rushed to me wrapping me in her arms. The overwhelming sense of contentment I felt only reminded me how much I was in love with her.
“Ethan, you’re okay. I was so worried.”
Her bright eyes and easy smile was a bonus and proof that her words were true. I had a crushing need to wrap her in my arms and accept the love she shared. But I kept my hands stiff at my sides.
“How did you know I was here?”
She pulled back taking her warmth with her. She crumpled, her shoulders sagging as she sat next to me. I’d hurt her with the razor edge to my tone.
“I talked to your mother,” she said to her lap unable to look at me.
The statement was simple, but the implications were far reaching. My mother wasn’t a fan of mine and anyone associated with me except Allie.
“How?” I asked because as far as I knew, she didn’t have her phone number.
“My dad called. He was watching your game—”
“What?” Why would her father be watching my game?
Broken Lens Page 17