I left Allie inside as I escaped the stifling ticket booth. Guys playing football on the grass caught my attention. I’d already decided I wouldn’t play my senior year. It was bad enough I was starting a new school, a public one. I’d had enough of the spotlight. I hoped to spend the year unnoticed. I needed to get my shit together.
The football game lost my attention when I couple of girls in bikini tops and shorts passed a Frisbee between them. One of them nearly ran into a little kid who was bawling at the top of his lungs. The little guy had lost his ice cream cone to the sidewalk where his mother spoke consoling words to him. For a second, I wanted what that little boy had.
Not wanting to feel sorry for myself, I shifted back to the girls. Only I quickly lost interest when a different girl who carried a camera that wasn’t a point and shoot kind, stepped into my line of sight. She wore a running gear that gave away her curvy shape. I was enjoying the view of her ass a moment before I felt eyes on me.
Only, it wasn’t eyes. I lifted my head to find the blonde’s camera lens trained on me. I stood, in the all-black heat absorbing, oven-like get up, which was the only requirement as far as my work uniform went. I stepped off the bench I had used, not as intended, by sitting on the top and letting my feet park themselves on the seat. I stepped off as the girl turned and aimed her lens away from me. She lined up a shot down the Smithsonian Mall at the Lincoln Memorial.
I walked over to her, aching to place my hands on her hips and I hadn’t even seen her face yet.
“Can I see?”
I watched her freeze up. She slowly turned around as if she were afraid. I wanted to trust she hadn’t calculated a meeting with me. I mean, why would she? Every girl wasn’t Carly. Every female wasn’t my mother.
Cocking my head to the side, I waited as she lowered the camera enough for me to get a good look at her face. If my dick wasn’t a stick, I didn’t know what was happening in my pants. She was incredibly created. She wore no war paint and didn’t need to. She was naturally gorgeous and I had to keep my shit.
“So, do I get to see?” I asked again, detached, trying not to betray my raging hormones.
She appeared as though I’d come to arrest her when she muttered the words, “See what?”
My ego fist pumped when I realized I’d come face to face with an undiscovered gem. The girl had no idea how beautiful she was.
“My picture.”
She shifted the camera in her palm to reveal no digital display. SLR cameras hadn’t changed much in many years. The only noticeable changes were in the back where either a door could be opened to load film or a display revealed pictures forever captured on a memory card.
“This isn’t digital,” she declared in a sweet voice.
The space in my jeans got more crowded. I couldn’t believe the she held the former. I’d never met a girl with the love of photography I had.
“That’s a problem then,” I said deadpanned.
I wanted to laugh at the fear that blanketed her face, but I kept my cool.
“Why?” she croaked.
“I think there must be laws about that or something.”
“Laws?” she repeated.
I kept my expression flat and serious.
“Yeah, laws. I don’t think I gave you permission to take my picture.”
Her mouth dropped open a little and I had a strong urge to kiss her. I took the camera out of her hand, angry with myself for letting some girl create such strong reactions in me. The action brought her closer because she still had the strap around her neck. A brush of her skin sent a shock through me, pissing me off further. The last thing I wanted was to allow another girl to get under my skin. I’d been played once, never again.
“You’re not going to open it, are you?” she asked meekly.
I raised a brow like it was a possibility. “I should. Do you have a release form? I mean, you can’t go posting these pictures without permission.”
“I… I never,” she stammered. “I promise I won’t post any of your pictures.”
An evil part of me enjoyed messing with her. “How do I know that? Do you know how much my face is worth?”
Her cheeks filled with color as she shyly turned away. I felt my blood begin to boil. A sinister part of my brain swatted at the intelligent part. No way, a beautiful girl like her was that clueless, remember Carly.
I sighed in dramatic fashion, an ode to Carly. “Well, I guess you owe me then.”
She would have skittered away in fear if I hadn’t held her camera prisoner. I should let her go. Either she was a calculating bitch or an innocent bystander. Neither of which I should trouble myself with.
“Look, I promise to destroy your picture.” Her words were fast. “I really didn’t mean to break any laws.”
I felt it was already too late. I was intrigued and hated myself for it. I felt the grin erupted on my face like broken water pipe, unexpected and huge. “What did you mean to do?”
She blinked as if mystified by my words. “I was capturing life.”
I let her dig herself in a hole. “Is that all?”
“I… It was just so beautiful out here.”
Her eyes fell into my mine like she dove off a diving board. Inwardly, I said Gotcha. “So you like beautiful things.”
My little wallflower straightened a bit showing me she was made a tougher stuff. “And who doesn’t?”
I enjoyed our little word play and wasn’t ready to let her go. I only had a few more minutes of my break left. I didn’t have to check the time to know that. “Follow me,” I commanded.
I lifted the camera strap from around her neck, forcing her to follow if she wanted it back. I moved quickly knowing my time was short. I opened the employee-only entrance and led her directly into the exhibit. The place resembled a large greenhouse with a forest underneath its roof.
When the door closed shut, thousands of wings were sent into flight giving her a show. I put the camera back in her hand giving her an opportunity no one else had. A rainbow cloud of wings shifted up and down in a disappearing arch.
She didn’t waste time in lifting the camera and getting what I knew would be incredible shots.
“Amazing isn’t it,” I said before I could stop myself.
She nodded stupefied by the sight.
“I thought a girl like you with a camera like that needed something special to take pictures of.”
The girl was too perfect. She had to at least be a sheltered and spoiled little rich girl.
“That camera of yours is a classic. It’s probably worth a lot. You must really be into taking pictures.”
The hand in the cookie jar expression answered the question. Spoiled and sheltered it was. “Or maybe daddy got it for you?” I paused for a few moments to allow her to refute my words. When she didn’t, I added, “I’m right, aren’t I?”
I saw the cracks I created fill in as she resisted the urge to comment. Instead, she lifted up the camera and aimed it at me.
She snapped picture after picture uncaring about light and composition. She was most definitely a novice.
“You aren’t doing it right,” I said as I stepped forward to help her not waste precious film. It wasn’t like she could delete or take endless photos because she had an ultra-capacity memory card.
She stepped back, only to trip on the short rails that lined the walking path. She fell under a tree that held the fallen butterflies whose short lives had ended. When she saw what lay around her, she tried in earnest to scramble to her feet. Her backpack threatened to send her over again, so I reached out and pulled her to her feet. Only her momentum had her careening into my chest. I had a moment to hold her in my arms, with the strange urge to never let her go.
“Ethan,” only it wasn’t the voice of my then supervisor who’d caught me in the act that called my name.
forty-one
When morning came, a red-eyed Charlene asked me to join her in my grandfather’s office. When I walked in, there was an older gentlem
an sitting in one of the chairs in front of grandfather’s desk.
“Ethan.” The man rose to his feet and buttoned one button of his impeccable suit. His hair was full of silver with a matching goatee and held his hand out to me. “I’m Vincent Lambert, your grandfather’s attorney. Please have a seat.”
He indicated the chair behind my grandfather’s desk, putting me in the position of power though I held none. As Charlene sat in the chair next to the lawyer, I obliged the man by taking the seat behind the desk.
“Ms. Rose called me about a situation and thought since I’m executor of George’s estate, I should be apprised. She’s already played me the tape of her daughter’s confession. And due to Maryland state law, taping someone without their consent is not admissible in court without a court order to approve such an act in advance. If you wanted to press charges, without any other evidence, it would be your word against hers.”
I would have had no desire to press charges if she hadn’t involved Jess’s family. I glanced over at Charlene further endeared to the woman. She sought out the lawyer without me having to ask. I could tell she loved her daughter but had a stronger urge about the difference between right and wrong.
Mr. Lambert took my silence to mean something because he continued.
“However, I think the evidence is good enough to get a restraining order in place so she can’t come within fifty feet of you. If she does, then she can be arrested.”
“What about Kyle, my girlfriend’s brother?” The girlfriend bit left my tongue so easily I didn’t bother to correct it.
“We can have someone discreetly watch over the Shelby’ and their son. We will also have Clarissa watched.”
“I can’t afford this.”
“You won’t be charged. This falls into the realm of something I know your grandfather would want to handle. We will be discreet about everything including the restraining order. There are many judges your grandfather called friend. We will do our best to keep this out the media considering your current situation.”
Situation, I thought. More like a public humiliation trial.
“Okay.”
He bent down to his briefcase, which sat at his side on the floor. He pulled out a manila envelope, and I found myself taken aback a second. I hadn’t opened the last manila envelope I’d taken from my dorm before I’d made the trip.
“Charlene also tells me she’s informed you of the account your grandfather set up for you as well as the trust. Inside the envelope, you will find the last bank statement. I have the rest filed in my office and ready for your inspection whenever you wish. A debit card and pin are also included in the envelope. The card hasn’t been activated. But if you go to any of the bank branches with your identification, they can get you a new card and change the address on the account so future statements can be mailed directly to you. The trust documents are also in there. If you have any questions about anything, don’t hesitate to call my office. Your grandfather also made provisions for all my fees to be covered out of a separate account. So, don’t hesitate to call because you think I’ll send you a bill.”
“And what if I don’t want the money?” I asked staring at the envelope like I’d never seen one before.
My mother would freak if she found out I had money she didn’t. I’d learned the price of money was too high, and I was better off without it.
“The account is only in your name, not your grandfather’s, mother’s or anyone else’s. You are free to do with the money as you please. The trust is another matter, and until you reach certain age and other milestones, it won’t be totally available to you outside of educational expenses. But we can talk about all that at a later time. I have another appointment, but I’ll be back later this afternoon if you wish to talk.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Charlene said to the lawyer. She hadn’t said much of anything else. I pinched fingers around the sides of the envelope before I slid them down the sides and turned it around in my hand. I had no desire to see the size of the bank account. I wanted to know what I was going to do with it before I saw and was swayed in any direction by the numbers on the page.
Things were happening so fast. I hadn’t seen my mother in a while and she, along with my Aunt, would be here in a matter of hours. I deposited the envelope in my room inside my backpack where I hoped it would be safe and headed to my grandfather’s room to do what Charlene suggested yesterday. I sat and talked to his still form. I opened up about everything I hadn’t found the words to tell another soul.
I ended with, “I wish I’d known you.”
The words hung awkwardly in the air. With grandfather unmoving in the bed, I might as well have been talking to myself.
Pushing forward, I said, “Obviously you knew me more than my own mother who doesn’t care to know me or love me.”
I talked out loud trying to puzzle out why Mom wouldn’t want me to meet with her father. Why my father didn’t talk about my grandfather? Did they know something about the man that I didn’t?
Time passed and I eventually I took a break and followed Charlene down to the kitchen for lunch. I’d just sat back down when a cough came from the bed. Eyes wide, I watched as my grandfather opened his eyes.
“Ethan.” My name was barely a raspy whisper.
I knew that he’d watched me my entire life, but his recognition of me was still like a punch in my chest. I reached out and clasped his hand. It was cool and weak, but he gave my hand a tiny squeeze. Words couldn’t express the emotion I felt. I thought he would die, or if he did come to, he wouldn’t know who I was.
“You came.”
I nodded.
“Don’t be sad for me, my boy. My granddad told me life gives you shit, but shit is the fertilizer that makes things grow.”
A genuine grin filled my face. I truly hoped I had time to get to know this man. I wasn’t sure how long he would remain lucid based on Charlene’s accounts of him coming in and out of consciousness.
With the mansion as empty as it was, I heard the elevator doors open. That could be my Aunt and mother.
“If there is one thing I would tell you…” He sucked in a breath before he began a coughing jag. “… it’s that you can view the world as a pearl or as a lit bomb…” It sounded like he ran out of breath. He took a small inhale before continuing. “But either way, let it be your choice.” Another pause and I should have told him not to worry and save his breath. He beat me to the punch. “Don’t let anyone else choose for you.”
“Thanks. I won’t.” I squeezed his hand as he closed his eyes.
Then he gave a long exhale before monitors started going off. Feet that had been drawing near began running in this direction. I let go of his hand because I knew what the alarms meant. A doctor and nurse came rushing in before Aunt Margaret and Mom. I pushed back and got up to move out of the way.
“Paddles,” the doctor called. Seconds later, she said, “Clear.”
They had flattened out his bed yet his body nearly levitated from the shock to his chest.
“Again.” The doctor went in a second time after the nurse used a mask and pump to push air into grandfather’s lungs.
I stumbled back, somehow knowing that was it. He was gone, and Mom had kept me from him. I had an urge to yell at her and ask her what her fucking problem was.
Minutes later, Aunt Margaret let out a wail. I turned to see Mom standing stoically while my Aunt fell apart. I walked over to her and let her cry while I held on. Mom gave me a cursory glance before letting her eyes drift back to her father.
Aunt Margaret quieted down long enough to ask me, “What did he say? I thought I heard him speaking before the end.”
I glanced up and met Charlene’s eyes. “He told me to tell you both how much he loved you.” I shifted my eyes between Mom and Aunt Margaret. Then I found Charlene’s. She gave a tiny smile, and I knew my lie worked. If what Charlene had told me was true, grandfather did love his daughters. And at least for my Aunt, I thought that was more importan
t for her to hear than the truth.
For a moment, Mom’s eyes softened before they narrowed.
“Oh God, Ethan,” Aunt Margaret cried. “I’m so glad you were here.”
“Convenient that,” Mom scornfully added. “How do we know he didn’t kill him?”
My mouth might have dropped if words like that didn’t often leave her hateful lips. Aunt Margaret gasped.
Surprisingly, it was Charlene who spoke up in my defense. “There are cameras in this room that are constantly monitored by security per your father’s orders. If Ethan had done anything, security would have been up here with police already on the way.”
I started to walk out of the room, needing space from Mom, when Mr. Lambert walked in. He strode directly to the bed while the medical staff was removing all the monitors.
“Goodbye old friend,” he murmured.
Then he headed to where we were congregated in the middle of the room where we’d given space to the team who were unsuccessful in reviving the man while we remained as spectators.
“George prepared for this moment. It’s good you were all here in the end. All the arrangements have been made. The funeral will be in about a week’s time. You are all welcome to stay here, but be advised not to take anything from the estate until after the will is read.”
“And when will that be?” Mom asked primly.
We can arrange to do it after the funeral. I will contact you all with the exact dates and time.” He shifted his attention to Charlene. “I hope you will stay on. I will discuss staffing changes necessary for the household needs for the interim. We can discuss that now if you have time.”
She nodded, and they moved to leave the room.
Mr. Lambert stopped with a hand on Charlene’s shoulder. “I will contact the funeral home but you all are welcome to pay your final respects in the meantime.” He gave a quick nod and left the room with Charlene in tow.
Broken Lens Page 21