Conversion Book Three: 'Til Death

by S. C. Stephens

  Shaking her head, she muttered, “I fed on cattle and what other animals that I could find nearby, too scared to even approach a human. Too scared that once I did, a bloodlust would take me, and I wouldn’t be able to stop killing humans.” She looked back at me, her eyebrows raised. “Believe it or not, but I didn’t want to be that kind of creature.”

  Shifting her eyes to her daughter, she sighed again. “But eventually the cows started to dry up. Eventually I didn’t have any left to get milk for my child. Eventually, I had to go into town, to feed her.” Her eyes saddened as she looked back at me, and I didn’t see the sultry vixen who liked to ceaselessly tease me anymore. I saw a concerned mother, same as me.

  Imogen rested her hand on her mother’s shoulder as Halina continued. “I fought against my hunger, as Imogen was my priority.” Her lip quavered a bit as anger filled her voice. “She was screaming she was so hungry, and out of fear and desperation, I begged a man on the street to get her food.” The anger fled her voice as wonder replaced it. “To my complete surprise, he did.”

  She smiled as she looked down at the table, shaking her head. “I watched him walk across the street, not even bothering to move out of the way of the cars on the road. I watched him break into a closed store and come out with bundles of food - rice, bread, and bottles of milk.” Looking back up at me, she shrugged. “He walked right over to me, dropped it at my feet, smiled, and then left.”

  I felt a shiver run through me thinking about what she’d made that man do. It was so much power for one person to hold. I wondered what I’d do with her abilities? Would I use them for “good” as Teren had once teased me?

  Tilting her head, her ageless eyes as awed as her voice, she said, “I had no idea that I had that kind of power until that very moment. I tried it out on others, getting the things that I needed.” Smiling softly, she looked around the home, her home. “Soon, I had food, I had cows, I had help with the ranch,” she focused her eyes back to me, “and most importantly, I had a way to keep my child healthy, happy and alive.” She raised her eyebrows as she let that sink in. After a second, she shrugged and grinned. “I even compelled someone to take care of her during daylight hours, when I couldn’t be there.”

  Marveling at the woman before me, I watched her lean back in her chair and raise her chin defiantly. “Now, given my options, Emma, what would you have done differently?”

  Shaking my head, nearly speechless with awe, I could only get out, “Nothing…”

  She gave me her trademark smirk, then swirled her hand around the room, similar to how I’d done it earlier. “So, now, this may seem opulent to you, but I’m providing for my family, all of my family, however many generations of us may come along.” Looking around the room at her family, she met and held each pair of pale eyes. Teren smiled when she got to him.

  In a low, passionate voice, she continued with, “None of them have my abilities and once I go…they are all on their own. I won’t leave them destitute, penniless.” She swung her eyes back to me, a fire in the icy depths. With a snarl of determination she spat out, “No child of mine will ever scream for food again.”

  Blinking back the tears, I shook my head. “You…really are an amazing woman,” I whispered.

  Slapping on an effortlessly casual crooked grin, she rested her leather boots on the table. “I like to think so.”

  Chapter 10

  The Death and Life of Emma Adams

  After dinner, I still had quite a few hours to kill before I died. Not really knowing how to spend the last moments of my life, I alternated between pacing, stressing and restlessly twitching. As the minutes marched on and on, each one bringing the sun just a fraction of an inch closer to rising again, my heart started accelerating. I wasn’t dying yet, just anxious. While I knew the actual act was going to be a bitch, the waiting around for it to happen was probably going to be the worst part. The mind was a cruel weapon at times, imaging every ache before the body even gets a chance to feel it.

  Teren squatted in front of me when I started biting my fingernails. Smiling softly, he cupped my cheek. “Come with me?”

  I looked around the room. All of the vampires were watching me, all with expressions of anticipation that matched the jumble of nerves in my belly. “Where are we going?” My voice hitched nervously.

  His cool thumb stroking my cheek, he soothingly said, “Just for a walk, just to get your mind off things.”

  I looked back at him and raised an eyebrow, chuckling in a bubbly, anxious way. “You think that’s possible?”

  He smiled sadly and shook his head. “No, but I’d like to try.”

  I stood and nodded. Everyone in the room stood with me. It was almost like I’d suddenly become royalty and they were all following my every whim. It made me laugh inappropriately; none of this was funny.

  Halina smiled at me but Alanna and Imogen only looked even more concerned. They all started to follow Teren and me as we headed towards the slider leading out back, but Teren shook his head at them. “I’d like a moment alone with my wife.”

  They all nodded and only Teren and I stepped through the glass doors.

  I shut my eyes as the cooler night air blew across my face. I could smell the awakening of life in the wind – new plant shoots, pollen, freshly cut grass, blossoming night flowers. It gave me a sense of renewal, grounded me with the power of nature.

  Teren had told me once that he felt more connected to the world after his death. I already felt more in tune with it, with my enhanced senses. I wondered if that would change even more.

  Grasping my hand, Teren led me to the edge of the flat rocked patio. I smiled over at the chorine filled pool as we walked by it. I had a lot of memories in that pool - diving in on a hot summer day, teaching the kids to hold their breaths, getting in a water fight with Teren, trying to race with him and losing miserably. But mostly, that softly lit water reminded me of getting married. We’d said “I do” over those shimmering-in-the-moonlight ripples. Dead or alive, it would always hold a special place in my heart.

  Stepping off of the back end of the patio to a trail of granite steps that led down to where the equipment was kept, I felt the distance of the other vampires in my head. My children were the farthest, sleeping peacefully with my mother back in the city. Halina and the other girls were just where we’d left them, in the living room, probably watching me through the windows as I disappeared with my husband down the back of the hill. I knew they’d be able to find me once I gave out. Locating me was never a problem anymore, not since I gave off a GPS signal to them too.

  Heading down a light trail in the tall, tan grass, Teren started swinging my hand like we were on a first date or something. I smiled over at him, grateful for his calming presence. “Thank you for doing this.”

  He looked over at me, a light smile on his handsome face. “I only wish I could do more.” He shook his head, his eyes glowing brighter the farther away from the lights of the ranch that we got. “I wish I could take the…”

  His voice trailed off and he looked down. I filled in the blanks. “The pain?”

  Glancing up at me, he sighed. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I’d experience it all over again if I could, just so you didn’t have to.”

  He sighed again, his face forlorn, and I cuddled into his side, ignoring the shiver that went through my body when I pressed against him. “Hey, how bad can it really be? I mean, I’ve had two kids, it can’t be worse than that.”

  I expected him to laugh, but he only looked at me with a raised eyebrow. Swallowing, I muttered, “Right…”

  I closed my brightly glowing eyes and laid my head on his shoulder. We walked along in silence, our eyes highlighting the vague trail that repeated passings from the Jeeps had created. We walked back through one of the empty pastures. The ranch hand’s house was visible to my very left, but the large home was empty. The family brought in help a few times a year, but this luckily wasn’t one of them.

  The man who led the rotated groups brought
onto the property, kept in contact with the family often and I’d even spoken to him once or twice. Peter Alton was a genuine cowboy and seemed to have the stoic character down pat. He never asked the Adams any questions about their oddities, but I was pretty sure he knew. The family seemed content to let the quiet man believe whatever he wanted to believe, as he’d worked for them for years and had never betrayed their trust. I wondered if he’d be going to Utah with them, or if he’d be “retired” from their services.

  As we moved away from the empty home near the barn, I thought about leaving my family behind in a year or so. Suddenly lonely for them, I squeezed Teren’s hand. He kissed my head as I sighed, “I wish my family was here.”

  He kissed my head again. “I know.”

  I’d called my sister after dinner, not able to stand not talking to her, but she hadn’t been home. It had alarmed me at first, until I realized that she was probably with my mom, entertaining my children with her. I couldn’t call over there and tell her what was really happening without clueing in my mom. I was pretty sure Ash would cry, or freak out, or demand to come over here, and Mom wouldn’t buy Teren’s cover story after witnessing my sister going into hysterics. Ashley would just have to be told after the fact as well.

  Watching the moonlight glint off the lightly waving grass, I buried my head in his arm. “I’m scared,” I whispered.

  Hearing me, he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head again. “I know,” he whispered back.

  I peeked up at him, picking out the strong lines of his features with the light I produced. He really did know what I was feeling; he’d gone through it himself. Only his had been worse, so much worse. He’d had to wait to die, knowing that he’d probably kill me when he woke up. He’d waited around to feel excruciating pain while already being in excruciating pain, having had both of his legs beaten to pieces. I couldn’t even imagine how terrified he’d been and I’d truly seen none of it. For me, he’d put on a brave face.

  Stopping in the grass, I reached up to stroke his face. “Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”

  He smiled and nodded in my fingertips. “Yes, once or twice.” He chuckled then leaned down to kiss me.

  Resuming our walk, we headed down to one of the ponds that Teren and his dad frequently fished from. Some small animals darted away as we approached. A low growl escaped my chest before I stopped it. The heartbeat I heard retreating was a small one, but it still revved up that part of me. I suppose that was just my body getting ready.

  Teren slinked his hands down to my fingers, sitting down at the edge of the water. I sat with him, a little embarrassed at the primal part of me releasing. He smiled and laughed lightly. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just a part of who you are.” He leaned in to kiss the scar on my neck, a spot that he usually avoided, but as it was sort of prevalent in the air tonight, he didn’t bother trying to ignore it.

  I smiled that he understood so much about me. Being married to someone who had gone through everything I was going though was very comforting. “Will that finally be gone,” I asked as he pulled away from the constant reminder of my attack.

  Peeking up at me, he nodded. “Yes, you’ll heal,” his eyes scoured my body, “everywhere.”

  I smiled that my stretch marks would be fading too then. Slinking my hand over his propped up knee, I exhaled slowly. “What is it like…waking back up?”

  I knew he wouldn’t tell me about dying, but surely he could warn me about coming back to life? He looked away from me, his eyes shifting to glow on the empty fields across the stream. Near silent, he finally said, “You won’t feel like you. You’ll be pure…animal. Nothing about who you are will feel familiar…not even your own name.”

  He sighed and looked back at me. “And you’ll be hungry. So hungry,” he whispered. I swallowed but didn’t look away. His fingers came up to touch my cheek, to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “I want you to embrace the animal, to let it take over. It will help you fight through the pain, it will help you live. Don’t fight the instinct…okay?”

  His brow bunched as his face shifted into concern. I saw the fear in the depths of his pale eyes and knew that he was, again, holding back how afraid he truly was. I nodded, cupping his hand to my cheek. “I won’t hurt you?” I whispered.

  He shook his head. “No, I don’t have a heartbeat. I won’t be…interesting to you. You’ll be looking for pumping blood, the harder the better.” He shook his head again. “And you won’t have to look far. I’ll have it right there for you.” He calmed his features as best as he could. “You have nothing to fear, Emma. I’ll take care of you.”

  I inhaled a big breath, holding it for ten seconds, absorbing his words. I knew he was right, I knew that he’d die again before he let me go, but it’s human nature to fear the unknown, and death is a pretty big unknown. He held me close as we sat along that bank, the light of our eyes highlighting each other’s features as we talked about less frightening things – whether or not we put the kids in a public school, when or if my sister would find someone, my mom’s health, his dad’s, Hot Ben and Tracey’s upcoming nuptials.

  I could feel time passing by, but as Teren made me laugh, or kissed me, or made me smack him with some smart aleck remark, everything in the world seemed to stop. I wasn’t about to die. My kids weren’t a worry in the back of my mind. Halina’s struggles weren’t playing on repeat throughout my brain. For a moment beside that pond, Teren and I were just a couple in love. It was nice to go back to that simplicity.

  But eventually as the night wore on we decided to stand and head back to the ranch. Teren stood first and, always the gentleman, held his hand out for me. With a smile on my face, I reached up to grab it. I was halfway to standing when the smile fell off my face. My heart missed a beat, like it did sometimes if I was really nervous or anxious. It was an uncomfortable feeling and I rubbed my chest. Teren’s brows furrowed as I straightened my legs.

  “Emma? Are you feeling…okay?” he asked tentatively.

  I started to take a step forward, telling him that I felt fine, but my body had other plans. My half-step towards him brought me right back down to my knees. I looked at myself confused; it was an odd feeling to have your body do something that you didn’t tell it to do. Before I could worry about it too long though, my heart missed another beat. This time it hurt.

  Knowing it was happening, knowing that I was minutes away from dying, I felt my heart shift into overdrive. In my anxiousness, my breath picked up to near panic level. Looking around myself, I felt the world constrict around me, suffocating me. I wasn’t ready.

  Immediately Teren’s calming eyes filled my vision. Strong hands grasped my face as he forced me to focus only on the hypnotic depths of his eyes. Oxygen flooded through me as my panic attack subsided.”I’m right here, Emma, I’m not leaving you.”

  I started to nod, but my heart stuttered. My hands feebly went to my chest, like I could somehow externally help the organ along. My smooth running engine was sputtering, part of it wanting to keep going, the rest of it too tired to even try. Like my toddlers tripping over their own feet, my heart couldn’t get back up again.

  Fire erupted through my chest and down my arms as my heart surged and stopped. It was a different sort of pain than I’d ever felt before. Sharp and intense, dull and aching, and all the more terrifying because it was laced with a razor sharp edge of panic. I knew what was happening, and being aware made it ten times worse. I suddenly envied the cows that would probably be dying tonight as well. At least they had no idea it was coming.

  As Teren clutched me to him, his calming influence keeping me sane, I struggled to not cry out with the pain. I bit my lip so hard I tore right through it. My fangs dropped as the taste of blood filled my mouth, but I couldn’t even care.

  Teren’s eyes watered as he watched me, sympathetic tears forming. Oddly, a part of me wanted to comfort him, but the majority of me was too scared. I grasped his face, my body shaking as my heart struggled to keep go
ing. “Promise me,” I choked out.

  He shook his head, looking like he’d agree to wrangle the moon if I asked. “Anything.”

  I shook my head, tears stinging my eyes as a sudden, sharp pain felt like it was splitting my chest in half. My voice heavy with held back agony, I sputtered, “Promise me this is forever.” Feeling a surge of strength as the wave of pain ebbed and flowed, I quickly rambled, “Promise me that you won’t wake up one day, sick of me, hating the fact that you’re stuck with me for all eternity. Promise me that you won’t ever stop loving me. Promise me that you won’t leave me for someone else in a couple hundred years. Promise me that we’ll feel this way for the next ten thousand years.” My sobs finally broke free as my panic kicked in full force.

  His arms wrapped around me. “I promise. I promise, baby. You never have to worry about that. It’s you, it’s always been you. It will always be you…forever. You’re it for me, for eternity. I love you, I love you so much.”

  I nodded in his arms, embarrassed that I’d verbally doubted him. I knew he wouldn’t ever leave me, no sooner than I’d leave him, but fear and panic can make you do and say stupid things.