A myriad of colors coalesce into a purplish-grey mess of constant motion. Around and around the mist twirls, revealing human-like faces which leer at me for a moment before becoming lost again in the twirling vapor. And the voices, a jumble of harsh, grating voices hurt my ears. The cacophony of sound makes it difficult to decipher what any one individual Sylph might be saying.
There is no time in the vortex: I may have been standing there three minutes or three years when a clear voice reaches out to me over the din.
"Greetings, Nephilim."
Seconds after I hear him a humanoid shape pulls itself from the wall of Sylph. Towering over me he continues to float just above the ground and more closely resembles what I'd always imagined a genie would look like, right down to the sickly green cast of his skin. His malevolent eyes drink me in and he laughs, a deep rumble that makes my skin crawl.
"You don't cower. I must admit, it’s not something I'm used to."
"You don't frighten me," I lie boldly.
"Hah!" he laughs again. "I haven't the pleasure of getting under your skin yet, pretty one." The nickname disgusts me but I manage to swallow my retort at the last second. "We could be quite a team, you and I." He’s trying to entice me, and grinning he circles me slowly, dissolving into the fog for a time before reappearing again.
"Really!" I blurt out. Now it’s my turn to laugh, not buying for a second the demon in front of me could be good for anyone.
"Don't underestimate me!" he hisses maliciously, eyes burning like coals. Reigning in his anger he smiles again, all charming arrogance once more. "I am Al-Alem, knower of all."
I remain stock still, holding my ground as he sidles up next to me, whispering seductively as he strokes my hair.
"I could be yours."
Graphic images of my deepest desires are projected onto the walls all around us and I have no doubt this devil pulled them straight from my mind when we touched. Still the images intoxicate me as I watch everything I've ever wanted play out in front of me. The pictures dance and dazzle on a looping feed that repeats over and over again. Through it all, Al-Alem is with me, holding my purse as I exit a limo, engulfed by adoring fans. Working side-by-side with me in the lab. Waiting back stage as I accept the Nobel Prize for curing cancer. Holding my hand through darker whims of vanity, entrancing me with the awesome powers at my disposal. The connection he weaves between us is primal, intimate. I need him, I want him. Physical cravings surface and the projections become more heated, passionately confusing as he morphs into the faces of my lovers. Al-Alem, the answer to achieving everything I hope for.
Dripping with perspiration and drunk on my own ambitions Al-Alem invades my space again. "It can all be ours," he says pausing. "Come with me Gwen, past the circle."
The circle, I remember, suddenly sobering. Misreading my flinch, Al-Alem plays his trump card. The mist to my right dissipates enough for me to make out Kade.
"I'm a generous man, generous enough to share you even with the likes of him." I stare at the mighty hero’s bowed frame, fallen to his knees, eyes squeezed shut in anguish, still holding his place in the circle.
And I snap.
Electricity courses through my veins the minute I do, and the comfortable mantle of my power falls into place. Reconciled with my abilities I feel as if I could do anything. Glaring back up at Al-Alem, I smirk. I'm not the only one who knows it.
"Listen, Al," I say, making no attempt to mask the open insult. "It appears you don't know everything. I mean, you pegged me all wrong." I taunt him, taking a step in his direction for a change. Fury boils in his eyes, threatening to melt his carefully constructed persona. "You don't fuck with the people I love."
Swiftly closing the gap between us, I lift my hands, channeling all the raw power coursing through me.
"Back in the box, all of you!" I scream, focusing the intent of all my energy into pushing each of them back to where they came from. Wailing in unison the wall of fog dissipates, the individual Sylph essences pulling free. Covering my face with my arms I close my eyes to the blinding light of their flameless fire.
When the heat no longer scorches my face and the sweat dripping down my back dries cold on my skin, I lower my arms. I stand victorious, green eyes flashing, rigid with rage, surrounded by my friends. Hal was wrong. The only two times I'd used my powers before was when I was angry. Staying calm wasn't the key. I would never have been able to access that missing part of myself, which now feels like a familiar friend.
I guess anger really is my go-to emotion.
The Wanderers melt to the floor, exhausted. Kade rests on his hands and knees, still not looking at me. Moving my stiff joints, I start to go to him only to get sidelined by Z, who sweeps me up in a bear hug.
"That's my girl!" he tells me like an affectionate older brother.
"Can't breathe, put me down, you oaf," I squeak out. Refilling my lungs with oxygen, I make my way over to Kade, oblivious to congratulatory words of the other Wanderers. Kade has just regained his feet when I reach him.
"What did he do to you?"
"He?" Kade questions. I shake off his question having no time to explain at the moment.
"What did you see?" I rephrase my inquiry.
"My worst fears," he whispers. "And you?"
"My deepest desires," I breathe, my body starting to tremble. Pulling me into his arms he tucks me under his chin and we hold each other until we both stop shaking.
The mood is light as we leave the treasure trove. I take one last look to appreciate everything we've accomplished and marvel at the ethereal beauty of a room that won't be seen again in my lifetime.
Exhausted we gather in the main cavern where preparations for a modest feast are already underway. Z winks at me from across the space and I know this must be the after party he's been talking up.
"Are you sure there isn't a shower tucked away somewhere? I really need to wash that guy off me," I plead with Kade.
"That guy?" he questions while steering us towards the dormitory. I explain to him everything that happened with Al-Alem as we walk.
"It's alright, everything’s alright." It’s my turn to soothe him when he begins to run his fingers through his hair for the third time, clearly stressed. He shakes off my concern, pausing long enough for me to grab fresh clothes and toiletries before moving us down another side passage. We weave our way through several maze-like tunnels and I quickly lose my sense of direction. I assume Kade has as well when we round a bend that dumps us into a dead end.
"Um, shouldn't we turn around?" I ask when Kade just continues to stand there staring at the wall.
"No, give it a second," he tells me stepping back. I analyze the rock formation while waiting for who knows what. The dead end is an almost perfectly round little pocket, thanks to the outcropping of rock blocking the entrance. The walls are littered with handholds and ledges forming a graceful canopy. Frowning I wait impatiently.
Then I hear it cutting through the silence of the tunnel: water.
It trickles down slowly at first, the handholds along the walls acting like tiny collecting basins, the ledges guiding and funneling the overflow. After several minutes, the water is cascading down in a steady stream, spilling over the last ledge as a glorious waterfall. Looks like I am about to get my shower after all.
"It's fantastic, how long have you known about this place?"
"The dead end? I didn't," Kade replies. "I just wandered around until we found something that met our needs." Smiling he hangs a towel on the side of the wall. "I’ll be down the way if you need anything. Enjoy."
Mouth agape I set my clean clothes down and begin to strip out of my dirty ones, eager to relish in Kade's gift. Testing the water with my fingers I find it’s perfect and jump underneath the stream. I lather every inch of my body twice until I'm literally squeaky clean. It isn't until I'm done and lingering in the steamy warmth that Hal's words come back to me. He'd inferred Kade had broken a lot of rules where I was concerned, and I half wonder
if this isn't what he meant. I know the Wanderers believe in using their powers sparingly.
Suddenly this gift, my shower, doesn't seem so benign. The water cascading over me and caressing my body has a personal undertone, as if Kade himself were actually touching me, stroking my skin. Overwhelmed I lunge for my towel, almost slipping and falling on my ass in the process. I speedily dry myself, rubbing my skin raw to be sure all the moisture is gone.
Leaving Kade to claim the last of the water from the forbidden shower, I stumble my way back to the dormitory, delighted Kade has marked the corridors so I won't get lost. I realize what a jumbled mess I’ve become when I get aggravated over not having anything cute to wear or any accessories. I just staved off the apocalypse, proved myself to the rest of the Wanderers, and survived Al and his nightmarish fantasies. Who the hell am I trying to impress?
I've got to find Hal, I tell myself. Brushing the tangles out of my damp hair I let it hang loose, loving the heavy feel. Pulling on a t-shirt and jeans I grab a sweatshirt for when it inevitably gets cold tonight and head off to the feast.
Zafir has the tunes going when I arrive. A little classic rock mixed with a lot of angry rock. Winking, Zafir swaggers over to me shaking his hips.
"Not the outfit I was anticipating, but at least you smell good. Fantastic in fact." He leans down and inhales deeply. Accepting his arm, I allow him to lead me to the banquet table. I stifle a guffaw when he seats me like a gentlemen, then gyrates his way over to the food. Z really is one of a kind.
Hal sits at the far end of the table. Making up my mind to relocate, I half stand pushing my chair back when the ambiance changes. The music shifts from angsty guitarists to sexy top forties and the lights dim to no brighter than a candle. Ready to roll my eyes at Z over this stunt, I turn just in time to witness a clean freshly shaven Kade exiting from the dormitory tunnel. My heart lodges in my throat and I flick my gaze away not wanting to be caught staring. As I do I catch Z flashing me the thumbs up sign.
Pulling my chair back up to the table my eyes traverse the bright white tablecloth, connecting briefly with Hal, who seems to have been watching me. The wine and beer flow thick as we all revel in another successful sealing. Slightly inebriated I laugh and smile more, conversing amiably with everyone. Surprisingly no one is louder than Kade, not even Z. His exuberance is catching and I find myself led out onto the impromptu dance floor multiple times.
I dance with everyone for a time, forgetting my earlier mission to speak with Hal until I catch sight of him sitting alone at the table, peeling the label off his beer bottle. Excusing myself from Z, which earns me a slap on the ass, I proceed to join Hal.
"I've never seen him like this," I say slumping into the seat next to him.
"What, happy?"
"No, drunk," I reply chuckling.
"Well it isn't every day you get to rub the fact that you've been right all long into your brothers’ faces. Kade's been ostracized for years over you." I let that one slide.
"I've been wanting to talk to you. What happened today in the circle ..." I trail off.
"Each experience is unique," Hal explains, concern in his eyes.
"What happened to you?" I wonder aloud.
"Somehow I don't think my experience is what you really need to talk about," Hal sidesteps.
"No," I admit. “Al made me see things."
"Al?" Hal chuckles. "I'm assuming you came up with that one."
"Indeed, he wasn't so fond of it either," I say. "Are the things I saw, are they real?" I ask eyes fixated past Hal, drawn to the usually somber and reserved guy over his shoulder.
Following my gaze he responds, "You tell me."
Seeing Kade with his guard down, maybe for the first time ever, gives me pause. Even his body language is different. He hangs back like always but he’s enjoying himself, a part of the party instead of the silent sentinel. And he looks at me, frequently, in a way that twists my stomach up in knots.
"I don't know," I mumble under my breath. Setting his bottle down, Hal stands, arching a knowing brow. Chin quivering, my mouth fails to form words, the answer to his unspoken question plain on my face.
"Don't worry. I seem to specialize in helping people figure out what they already know," he whispers, squeezing my shoulders gently as he turns to leave.
Chapter 35
It’s hard to say when it happened, the exact point at which my old world began to infiltrate my new one. As though they were never meant to coexist, I couldn't seem to reconcile them. The further from the sand we got the larger the distance became, and by the time we touched down in New York a palpable separation existed. Even Zafir was reserved, withdrawn. Why it happened I cannot say, but everything was pulling apart the closer we got to California.
Of course I realized this about the same time my cell phone service kicked in. I became inundated with voicemails. The first two were from Ben letting me know he was alive and wondering when I'd be home—apparently I'd been a little vague about those details. The messages made me chuckle and then feel extremely guilty. Ben hadn't really crossed my mind in days.
The rest of the calls were from Melanie and innocuous in nature; well, except for one. It started off innocently enough.
"Hey, Gwen, you haven't called to gloat about all the fun you’re having. It's so boring here without you, I need details so I can live vicariously. Oh hey, I almost forgot, on a serious note Ben is missing ..."
The call is abruptly cut short for some unknown reason. I hit the floor in the middle of the JFK airport. It’s finally happened, that old fear I'd been burying had finally surfaced. Fire had gotten the better of Ben. Franticly I call him but he doesn't answer. I try Melanie next but it goes straight to voicemail. The Wanderers have all gathered around me at this point, concerned, but I wave them off. There are still two messages left on my phone, do I dare listen to them?
Breathing hard I close my eyes. I have no choice, I have to know. Hitting play I listen out of desperation. Melanie's voice floats over the airwaves again.
"Oops, sorry to cut you off but those cell phone tickets are a bitch, I cannot get another one. Geez, the highway patrolmen are hiding everywhere these days. So like I was saying Ben's missing his cell phone, he lost it somewhere in the woods. I'm supposed to tell you to call the station if you need him. He'll be working until Sunday."
Erasing the message I open my eyes, a jumble of anxiety, relief, and despair sweep through my body.
"It's alright, I'm okay, just a misunderstanding," I say, allowing Bass to help me to my feet.
"Alright, let’s keep moving," Adil commands, motioning for Z to grab my bag. I tuck my cell phone into my back pocket and follow Zafir, not even bothering to listen to the last message. I've heard more than enough for now, I think.
Dropping my bag on the front porch I rifle through my purse looking for my house keys. Why is traveling so exhausting? I wonder. The idle of the engine parked in my driveway reaches my ears and I know they haven’t left yet. Most of the Wanderers remained in Utah but Basal, Zafir, and Kade had made it a point to see me home safely. Getting out of the car, saying goodbye, had been awkward to say the least. I hadn’t dared hug Kade; it would just confuse things further. Even Z, who has a retort for everything, was unusually silent. The one time I could have used a flippant parting comment to lighten the mood...
Muttering curses under my breath and still trying to find my keys, which seem to be playing hide and seek in my purse, I stare straight ahead at my front door. Everything seems to be conspiring against me, determined to keep me here in limbo between my real life and the fantasy one I’d been caught up in. I have got to get inside quickly, make a clean break from these guys, from Kade. If I turn around now I’m afraid I’ll climb in that car and never look back. I can’t do that—there are people here who need me.
“Ah ha!” I shriek, finally wrapping my fingers around the blasted keys. Turning the lock and picking up my things I shuffle through the entry as swiftly as I can, closing the doo
r behind me. “A clean break,” I whisper.
I dump my bag beside the door with the best intentions of dealing with it later. Everything is as I left it. Well, almost.
I find unwashed dishes in the sink and a string of Ben’s clothes trailing down the main hallway. Slumping into a kitchen chair I cross my arms over my heart and stare at the wall, willing my brain to make sense of the chaotic predicament I’m in. I want to cry. I want to believe that garbage women spout, claiming you’ll feel better after the fact.
I’m exhausted, stressed out, my career is potentially in shambles, and I’m caught in a web of secrets. If all that isn’t a recipe for tears then I don’t know what is. Still, the tears don’t come. I guess I’m just not wired that way.
This is useless, and most women are full of crap, I remind myself.
Getting up from the table after my failed attempt to connect with my feelings I grab an ice-cold Coke from the fridge and head to the bathroom. There’s nothing caffeine and a hot shower can’t fix.
Tossing my cell phone on the bathroom counter I leave my drink and slink back down the hall to the laundry room. Stripping out of my nasty clothes I dump them, along with everything else piled on the floor, directly into the washing machine. Returning to the bathroom I savor my first sip of Coke. The sight of my phone reminds me I still have one unheard voicemail.
Unsurprisingly it turns out to be Melanie, happy to hear we are going to be home on Friday and instructing me to have my skinny ass to The Spotted Dog no later than 7p.m. I didn't tell her we were going to be home today. I assume Kade must have called her. Placing the phone back on the counter I jump in the shower.
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