Half Bad: A Reverse Harem Goddess Romance (Godhunter Book 31)

by Amy Sumida

  I started striding down the tunnel at a fast clip. Night would be coming soon and if we didn't reach the children by then, I'd fail them as I had the other two.

  “Not on my watch,” I growled and started to run.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Here's the thing about dragon scales: they're good for slicing attacks but stabs can slip through the joints between. That's why humans used lances to kill dragons. A long pointy thing is the way to go when dealing with an enormous, scaly, fire-breathing reptile. You just have to get past the breath first... and that's why humans became experts at throwing javelins.

  What I'm getting at is this: a weredragon can be stopped by a pit of spikes. I'm saying this with absolute certainty because several yards into my mad dash, I fell into one.

  Yep, it was embarrassing. There I was, running off to play the hero, with my men and friends calling for me to stop while a bunch of annoying owls watched impassively, and how do I get taken out? A pit. A trap anyone could have laid. Granted, there was an illusion laid over the pit—one that dispersed as soon as I fell through it—and if it hadn't been me, someone else would have likely fallen in. But still, it was a pit with a bunch pointy sticks—that's it.

  As I fell, I thought to myself that my injuries would be minor. I had set off a trap that I'd survive and the others could now bypass. There was a positive side to my humiliation. But I didn't see the spikes. You'd think I would have noticed a bunch of sharpened poles but falling tends to happen quickly and when I slipped on the edge of the pit, I'd twisted so that I fell face-up. All I saw was stone, no spikes. But I felt them.

  My screaming roar echoed through the tunnel as I was speared through at shoulder and hip. My dragon went wild, instinctively recognizing that this was something extremely bad for us. I suppose it was lucky that I didn't get speared through my heart, but a huge pole cracking my shoulder blade and hip bone as it blasted through me—helped by my momentum—was even more painful than a stake through the heart. I know this for certain as well.

  “Vervain!” I couldn't tell which of my men shouted, so many of them did.

  Plus, there was a whole lot of pain distracting me—pain that made my vision go wonky and my stomach threaten to add vomit to my list of embarrassments. I struggled to pull myself up as faces appeared above me—blurry faces that nonetheless conveyed fear.

  “I'm fine,” I whispered.

  “You've got spikes sticking out of your body!” Viper shouted. “You are the opposite of fine.”

  “Just give me a second,” I gasped.

  I was losing a lot of blood. I had to get off those damn sticks, but I was too weak from the pain and blood loss to break the wood. I needed fire; it would heal me and burn away the meddlesome pokey things. I breathed a stream onto the pike at my shoulder but it charred without catching and the effort left me panting—even weaker than before.

  “Stand back,” Re said in his commanding voice—the voice that had brought Egypt to its knees.

  The men lining the rim moved aside as a halo of light drew closer. Re stepped forward, still playing the part of our living lantern.

  I stared up at his gorgeous, glowing self and smiled through the pain. “Hey, firefly.”

  My god healing was fighting desperately to help me but the best it could do was keep me conscious and restock my blood. The worst thing it did was attempt to knit my bones back together. This was bad because those bones still had spikes in them. I moaned as my mending shoulder blade jostled the spike, both of them creaking under the pressure.

  Re scowled at me, his jaw clenching, and held his hands out, over the pit.

  “No,” I stopped him. “Burning this much wood will fill the tunnel with smoke.”

  “So what?” Re growled.

  “Most of us aren't comfortable breathing smoke,” Finn said.

  “Fuck your comfort.” Re held his hands out again. “You'll survive.”

  “Just burn the ones in me,” I urged.

  “Listen to her.” Odin grabbed Re's wrist. “Direct your fire at the base of the spikes, just above her body. Perhaps you can break them off with a minimum amount of burning.”

  I moaned as my body tried to close its wounds again and failed. Those darn pesky pieces of wood were still in the way.

  Re flinched at the sound of my pain, his expression trembling, then nodded crisply at Odin. He held his hands out once more but condensed his light into a small beam. The beam hit the spike at my shoulder and sliced through it in seconds. It fell away, barely missing my face, and knocked several other spikes over like bowling pins. Another flash and the second spike went the way of the first.

  I tried to lift myself off the stumps and managed to get an inch before falling back into place with a ragged cry. Re jumped into the pit immediately, landing with his feet to either side of my waist. He bent and gently lifted me off the spike stumps. I grunted in agony, but Re kept going until I was free. Despite the sudden welling of blood, he cradled against his chest. I cried out and started to tremble uncontrollably, my body finally able to repair itself. Bones and flesh knit together and regrew while splinters the length of my pointer finger were expelled from my wounds. Re adjusted his hold—his palm accidentally hitting my healing hip, and I moaned.

  “Be careful! You hold my heart in your arms, Sun God,” Odin snarled in a deep but strained voice.

  “Mine as well, Oathbreaker,” Re snapped back, then looked down at me. “Are you all right, La-la?”

  “Don't fight,” I whispered, my head lolling against Re's chest. The bleeding had stopped but my bones were still repairing themselves and I didn't have the energy to say more than that.

  “Okay, smart guy, how are you going to get her out of there?” Viper growled.

  “I may be the God of the Sun, but I rule the Earth as well,” Re declared, his voice going resonant as magic whirled out of him and around us.

  The ground rose beneath Re's feet, soil filling in the pit as we were lifted to the height of the tunnel floor as smoothly as if we'd ridden an elevator.

  “I didn't know you could do that,” I murmured as Re laid me down on the freshly-risen soil.

  “You might have found out in a less painful way if you hadn't run off like that,” he snarled.

  “Don't be mad at me, I'm hurt,” I whined pathetically, then gave him a weak grin.

  Re's jaw clenched as he held his hands over me: one at my shoulder wound and one at my hip. His palms began to glow, then they burst into flames and the heat of the sun poured into me. My dragon responded to the fire, taking power from it and using that energy to heal my body. Broken bones became a memory as my strength returned like a freight train. My clothes burned away but golden scales rose from my skin to cover my nudity. Back arching, I gasped in pleasure and relief before dropping limply onto the charred earth.

  “Thanks, sweetheart,” I purred.

  “You foolish, reckless, obstinate woman!” Re yelled at me. “This is the shit Viper was talking about—this right here!” He yanked me to my feet. “You don't get to go running off like that!”

  “I'm sorry,” I said as I found my footing.

  “Of all your idiotic moves, Vervain, that stunt is at the top of the list.” Odin pulled me away from Re, took me by the shoulders, gave me a good shake, then fiercely hugged me. “You terrified me.”

  “I'm sorry,” I said again.

  Soon, I was surrounded by my men, all of them giving me hell—especially Viper, who, frankly, was justified—but we didn't have the time for all of that.

  “I know. I know. You're right, you're all right and I'm wrong and very sorry.” I pushed away from them. “You can yell at me more later but right now, we've got to keep going.”

  “Together,” Azrael said firmly.

  “Yes, together,” I agreed. “But quickly.”

  “Remember, Adro is a god of earth too,” Odin said as we started down the tunnel again. “I'm expecting there to be more traps involving stone and soil.”

  �
�And snakes,” Viper, who had gone ahead—I think it was an attempt to be cannon fodder so I wouldn't—called back to us.

  “Yes, obviously, there could be snakes as well,” Odin agreed. “Normal snakes in addition to the Adroanzi.”

  “No could be about it, there are snakes,” Viper reported.

  I hurried up to Viper, who stood at the top of a flight of steep, stone stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, the tunnel continued but its floor was covered in writhing bodies. They weren't an unusual size nor were they green so I assumed they weren't the Adroanzi. But there were a lot of them.

  “Huh. So, we've gone from Batman to Raiders of the Lost Ark,” I muttered.

  “Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?” Trevor delivered the best Indiana Jones line of all time—one that happened to be perfect for our current situation.

  This meant that I could only say one thing back to him and it had to be done with a pseudo-Middle Eastern accent. “Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.”

  Trevor and I chuckled as the others shook their heads and gathered around us. Re, back to glowing softly, held a hand out and directed his light upon the moving floor. Yep, those were snakes. Lots and lots of snakes.

  “Re should go first,” Trevor said. “He's our spotlight.”

  “Sure,” Re said with a brilliant and utterly false smile. He went down a couple of steps and the light coming from his hand brightened.

  “Don't you dare!” Viper growled.

  “I'm not going to hurt them,” Re huffed irritably.

  Sunlight hit the snakes. At first, they seemed to enjoy it but soon the heat became unbearable and they slithered to the edges of the corridor. Re stepped down onto the open path, looked back at us over his shoulder, and smiled smugly.

  “I'm handsome and compassionate,” the Sun God declared.

  “Yes, you are, baby,” I said approvingly as I went down after him.

  “La-la, could you not use that tone of voice on me?”

  “What tone?” I headed down the snake-free path.

  “The one you use with the children.” Re grimaced.

  “If the Egyptian sandal fits...” Trevor smacked Re's shoulder as he joined us.

  I shook my head and kept going. So did they.

  “You are calling me childish?” Re asked in shock. “You're a puppy. I was ruling Atlantis before you were a twitch in Fenrir's testicles.”

  “Fenrir's testicles?” Azrael whispered incredulously as he stepped up beside me.

  I chuckled under my breath.

  “I meant your mental age,” Trevor argued.

  “I surpass you there as well. I created an enormous, prosperous pantheon, in case you've forgotten.”

  “You had a bit of help.”

  “As any great leader, I know how to delegate. I brought them together and kept them together despite their differences.”

  “It's a shame that you aren't employing those people skills now,” Azrael muttered.

  “Guys, can it!” I snapped.

  “Minn Elska,” Trevor started but then he saw why I'd been so insistent.

  The tunnel had ended and within the arched opening that defined the end, a lit cavern could be glimpsed. Not much of it though, because Adroanzi filled the passage and stretched beyond it. A lot of Adroanzi. They were shifted into giant, pale-green snakes and rapidly slithering toward us.

  The Itakupe surged past us, shrieking a battle cry that sounded distinctly avian. The Adroanzi hissed and struck, springing off the ground to reach the birds. The God Squad ran to help, some shifting while the rest summoned their magic. And one man—one lion—did both. Kirill—in his werelion form—extended a clawed hand and took a stance similar to the one Re had employed earlier. Silvery light encased Kirill's hand and stretched out—hesitantly at first and then bolder—striking a group of Adroanzi. The snakes froze—as in literally. Why not Death instead of Winter, you may be wondering. Death is hard to use against gods and can be tricky in close quarters. Plus, Kirill was new to this kind of magic and probably wanted to start small.

  “Yes! It's the fucking Lion of Winter!” Viper pumped his fist in the air before punching it into a frozen snake face. “That's what you bastards get for turning me into a snakesicle!”

  Meanwhile, the Lord of the Underworld lifted a hand and summoned his flames while his beautiful bride called forth roots from the earth. Pan cast a glittering wave of magic over the Adroanzi, who then started attacking each other savagely. Thor directed bolts of lightning into the green, scaly tide, and Brahma simply shouted. As the Lord of Speech and Sound, Brahma could use words as weapons. I like to call him Muad'Dib, and if you don't know that reference, go watch Dune immediately. Azrael went Grim Reaper with his scythe, cutting through slender bodies as if he were harvesting wheat, all while his skull grinned wickedly. The mist of the Dream Realm swirled in Morph's eyes as he held out his arms and released his sweet oblivion. Trevor took advantage of the dream magic, bounding up in Froekn form to slice the sleeping snakes to pieces.

  Those who couldn't use their magic as an attack—such as Karni Mata, whose main power involved rats—used god-made weapons. Finn brandished a silver sword while Artemis pulled a bow out of thin air and started firing arrows into snake heads. Torrent flicked his hands down to release the claws of my Wolverine gloves. I didn't use them anymore and I didn't want them to go to waste so I was letting him borrow them for awhile. And he'd been practicing. Seeing Torr slice Adroanzi heads off with expert swipes of his hands confirmed that I'd made the right decision.

  I went with my real claws but also summoned the strategy magic I'd taken from Aphrodite. I don't use Strategy often but with all of the power shooting around that tunnel, I thought a bit of tactical wisdom couldn't hurt. As it rose in my chest, my vision altered slightly. I could anticipate the moves my opponents would make and those that would conquer them. I knew to swing back behind Kirill because a snake had used his frozen comrades as cover and had angled around my husband. I took the snake's head and moved on.

  But there were so many of them. The flow of scaled bodies seemed endless—a green flood that showed no sign of slowing. My friends were getting bit—both by the Adroanzi and the normal snakes that still lined the sides of the tunnel. I had to find a way to end this—a move that would kill all of these snakes fast. If I didn't, those kids were dead. Because I had no doubt that in the cavern just beyond the Adroanzi, their god was sharpening his knives.

  The roar of battle dulled for me as I gained focus so I was the first one to notice the change. I snatched a snake as it launched itself up and forward, and absently tore its head off as my gaze swiveled to a silver light. Viper had chosen to stay in human form and use his star magic. It was a good choice. Stars are basically suns without planets around them—they're powerful and pretty. I expected to see sparkling light streaming from Viper's hands to incinerate his victims. But that didn't happen.

  I stared at the scene before me, my brain trying to jump ahead and figure out what exactly Viper was doing. It became distracting enough that I had to let go of Strategy and just reason it out on my own. Viper's light emanated from his entire body, as Re's had done when he was lighting our way. But the silver cloud had spread out to cover the Adroanzi. It glittered and gleamed. It flowed and expanded. It sparked ominously. The silver light consumed the Adroanzi and as soon as it touched them, they went utterly still.

  My stare shot back to Viper's. His eyes were glowing green and his expression was... surprised. He didn't know what he was doing either; the magic had taken control.

  The Adroanzi started to sway gently, every snake eye focused on Viper as if he were their god. I didn't wait to see more than that, I seized the opportunity and ran past the hypnotized snakes. I went blundering into the cavern, my head swinging about to get my bearings.

  The cavern wasn't huge by cavern standards but it was interesting. It had tiers to it—staggered, rising, half-moon platforms outlined with smooth stone. And none of it was natural. The tiers were
too even, spaced in perfect symmetry like a grand staircase Scarlett O'Hara might descend. They started at ground level directly before me—one to either side. The next level rose a foot, set out further and just overlapping the last. They continued in this manner, sweeping outward before curving back in, each tier getting higher and closer to the far wall. The two curves of tiers met at a central platform protruding from the wall. In addition to this architectural alignment, the columns that supported and bordered each platform were perfectly cylindrical and polished. No, this wasn't a natural formation, it was the work of a god.

  And that god stood on the central tier, at the very top of those strange steps. Adro was in his man form: black as night except for his eye. Even his clothes were black, though they looked modern. His features, now that I could see them, were a match for Adroa's, but Adro was far shorter than his good half and thicker as well—as if someone had pushed down on his head and compressed him.