by L. Michael
“Okay, here we are. Can you hop onto the other bed?”
“I'll help you, Peanut.” Daddy helped me onto the bed and arranged the blankets around me. It was a private room with only one bed, so I didn’t have to worry about more strangers.
“Okay, I´ll see if I can find you some clothes until you get yours, and then I'm off to find you the friend I promised.”
“Thank you, Josh.” He smiled at me and nodded before he turned towards Jakob. “I've texted Darrel to have a look at him. I thought a Doctor who understands his mindset would be better.”
“That's a great idea, thank you.”
“You're welcome. Sam can have some water for his raw throat, but not too much.”
“I'm thirsty,” I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since breakfast, but I wasn't hungry. Josh pointed towards a pitcher of water and left the room. Jakob filled a cup and brought it over to me.
“Here you go, Peanut. But drink it slowly.”
The freshwater soothed my raw throat, and I drank half of it before I handed it back. “Thank you.”
There was a knock on the door, then a tall man with chocolate brown skin came in. “Hi. I'm Doctor Darrel Warren. I heard a special boy needs my help?”
I stared at the man, and then I looked at Daddy. “D-Daddy?”
“He's going to help you, Peanut, and I´m staying here with you.”
“I heard you had a pretty tough day, Buddy. I’m just here to take care of your wounds and to make sure that there is no internal damage. For that, we´re going to get an X-Ray of your body. Your Daddy can come with us, but you´ll need to stay in the room for a few seconds on your own. Is that okay?”
“N-No!”
“Nothing's going to happen to you, Buddy. You're safe here, but I need to know if you have any internal injuries.” Darrell Warren said soothingly. Still, the thought of being alone had me terrified again, and I started to shake.
“Shhh, it's okay, Peanut. Everything's okay.” Jakob reached out and gently stroked my hair. “Can we delay that?”
“I'm sorry, no. We need to make sure that there is no internal bleeding or a broken rib. But we can give him something to relax.” Doctor Warren hesitated for a moment. “I would prefer that anyhow. He's in shock, and after what happened today, it would be best for him to relax.”
“Sam, I can't decide that for you. But I agree, you've been through a lot today. Maybe something to relax would be a good idea.”
“I…” Relaxing sounded terrific, but I knew that those pills would make me tired. “I don't want to fall asleep.”
“Why?”
“I… What if this is a dream, and I wake up, and you´re gone, and I´m back with him…” I stumbled over the words and started to cry again. I was too scared to close my eyes for more than two seconds because I feared that I would be back in the basement, and Curtis would back in again. “What if…What if he comes after me while I'm sleeping?”
“Oh, Sam. He's dead, and he can't hurt you anymore. I promise you that, and you are very much awake. You are not dreaming. I'm here, and you are safe.”
“Samuel, listen to me.” Doctor Warren knelt in front of me and looked at me with a concerned frown. “What you´ve been through was very traumatic, and your brain needs time to process all of that. Your mind is having a hard time processing that you are safe now. If you let me give you some medication, that will only help you. You don´t have to be scared anymore and can get some rest. Your Daddy is going to stay with you, and I´m going to check in on you from time to time as well.”
“Sam, please, listen to Doctor Warren. We just want to help you get better. I promise I won't leave you alone and I´ll go with you to the X-Ray. Doctor Warren needs to make sure that you don´t have any further injuries, and you need to rest.”
“And… and you´ll stay?”
“Yes, Baby. I´ll stay with you all the time. I promise.”
Rationally I knew that it was the right decision, but emotionally I was still terrified. I just wanted to stay Little and hold onto my Daddy.
“Please, Baby, please let us help you to get better and stop hurting.”
“I don't want to hurt anymore. And I don't want to be scared anymore.” I whispered, reached out for Jakob’s hand, and brought his thumb up to my mouth. It was the only thing that helped me to calm down.
“And you don't have to. Just let Doctor Warren give you some medicine.” Daddy was quiet for a moment before he bent towards me and whispered in my ear. “Would it help you if I would sleep with you, and you can have your special suckle time?”
“Can… can we do that, Daddy?”
“Darrel, I know that it's probably against hospital policy, but is it possible for me to sleep with Sam to help him relax?”
“Anything that helps him is good with me. I´ll let the nurses know that you'll be staying.”
◆◆◆
The first time I woke up, I was cuddled into Jakob’s side, surrounded by his arms and his nipple within reach for my lips. It was dark outside, and only a dim light from the nightstand. I reached my hand out and gently laid it on his chest. He was warm, and there was a steady heartbeat. I was safe. My eyes drifted closed, and I fell back asleep.
The next time I woke up, the sun was beaming through the window of my room. Jakob was beside me, and I was on my back. But now he was dressed in a dark blue NYPD shirt and sweatpants, and he was already awake because our eyes met. “Daddy?”
“I´m still here, Baby.”
“You changed.”
“My dad came by and brought me clothes and breakfast. He stayed with you while I took a quick shower and got changed.”
“What time is it?” Breakfast?
“It's a little after nine. You slept the whole evening and night.”
“Oh.” I blinked and winced when I moved. The bruises on my upper body were tender, but no internal bleeding or broken ribs, so that was a good thing. Then I spotted a blurry something sitting on the other side of the room and blinked again.
“Wait, dad brought your spare glasses, and I guess you spotted his surprise.” Jakob nearly fell off the small bed when he turned to grab my spare glasses off the nightstand. He placed them on my nose and gave me a sweet kiss. “There you go. Now you can see your surprises.”
I looked back at the other wall and gasped. There was a giant turtle balloon, attached to a stuffed turtle and stuffed shark. There was even a shark balloon. “Wow.”
“Look at the chair under the window.”
I turned my head, and there were more stuffed animals. Another turtle, a clownfish, and a seahorse. “What is all that?”
“The balloons, the shark, and the turtle are from Grandpa. Josh brought the other turtle, and the seahorse is from Alec. He was here last night as well. Matt brought the clownfish when he came here with my dad.”
“Oh.” They all had brought me gifts, not just gifts but stuffed animals. Even Alec Weston had bought one.
“They are all worried about you, Baby. Dad even slept in the visitor’s lounge.”
“I´m so sorry he got hurt,” I whispered, still looking at the balloons. They were terrific, and I loved them already. I just wish we could have bought them together at the aquarium.
“Sam, look at me.” Hesitantly I turned my head and looked at Jakob. “None of this was your fault, do you hear me? No one is mad at you. We're all happy that we got you back alive, and that is all that matters.”
“But, your dad…”
“Did you crash a van into his car?” Slowly, I shook my head. “See, not your fault.” There was a knock on the door, and Jakob gently kissed me. “That's Doctor Warren. He was here an hour ago to check on you, but you were sleeping so he said he would come back.”
The door opened, and Doctor Warren stepped into the room, Josh, the nice paramedic guy right behind him. “Ah, you're finally awake. Josh has been bugging me all morning about coming to see you. I hope that´s okay.” He stage whispered to me. “I think he is excited about m
aking a new friend.”
Josh rolled his eyes at Dr. Warren. “Daddy quit giving away my secrets. I’m trying to make a good impression on my new best friend! Hey, Buddy. I brought breakfast.” Josh stepped into the room and closed the door with his foot. He brought a tray over and set it down on the cool rolling table. “Daddy let me get you all the good stuff. Pancakes, a waffle, strawberries, and orange juice. He even let me buy you some fruit loops and wait for it.” His hand hovered over a napkin. Then he yanked it off in a flourish. “Tada! A cupcake.”
“Oh, joy,” Jakob muttered, and Doctor Warren chuckled in sympathy. I could only stare at them. You couldn’t miss it, because they were definitely a Little Boy with his Daddy. I had never met another couple in the lifestyle before. Jakob nudged me with his elbow. “Say thank you, Peanut.”
“Th-Thank you.”
“How are you feeling this morning, Sam?” Doctor Warren asked, and I shrugged. Maybe it was too much sleep or the medicine they gave me to relax, but I felt off. “Okay, let me ask you an easier question, Buddy. How are your wrists feeling? Still hurting?”
“They sting a little and itch.”
“That's good. It means you are starting to heal. Are your bruises still hurting?”
“When I move.”
“No worries, that’s completely normal. A few days of bed rest, and you should feel much better.” Doctor Warren smiled and pointed to the tray with all the sweets. “Don´t you want to dig in?”
I blushed and stared at the tray. Josh had bought me all those things, but I wasn't hungry. I grabbed the orange juice and took a sip. It was cold and fresh, and it felt good to have something other than water.
"Why don't you share the waffle with Josh, Peanut?”
With a sigh, I parted the waffle, making sure that Josh got the bigger part. Then I started to nibble on mine. It was yummy, and there was cinnamon and sugar on it, but I didn’t have the strength to eat. That and my tummy was in knots. Why couldn’t they go away and leave me with my Daddy? They were both very friendly, but I wanted to be alone with my Daddy. Just so, I could snuggle back into him, suckle on his nipple and forget about everything.
Chapter 18
Jakob
I watched Sam nibble on his part of the waffle. It was evident that he wasn't hungry and was just eating to make us happy. Darrel was watching Sam, he wasn’t pleased with what he saw, either. Sam had been quiet after he woke up, and now he wasn't eating. He had moved past clinging to me, so that was a small step forward. But still, this wasn't like Sam. It was not surprising after all he went through. I just hoped that I could help him through it.
“Jakob, why don't we leave the boys to their breakfast and get some coffee.”
Darrel wanted to talk alone with me, but Sam's head snapped up, and he got this panicked look on his face. “N-No. Daddy, you promised.”
“I'll be right back, Baby. No more than five minutes. Josh will be with you.”
“Hey, we could see who finds more red fruit loops,” Josh offered. He was trying so hard to distract Sam. The next time I saw Josh and Darrell at the Rainbow Room, I was going to buy Josh the biggest ice cream as a treat.
“That sounds like fun, Peanut. See how many you can find.” I kissed his forehead and exchanged a look with Josh. Sweet Josh nodded and started to talk about the balloons and the stuffed animals that Sam had gotten. Sam was barely listening. When I got up from the bed, he watched me, and when I reached the door, he was on the verge of crying. But he stayed silent, and with a sigh, I left the room.
“It is killing me to see him like this,” I whispered so Sam wouldn’t hear me. Darrel motioned for me to follow him. We walked down the hall to a staff break room. Darrel handed me a cup and filled it with coffee.
“He´s traumatized, Jakob. He needs time to heal.”
“What can I do to help him?”
“First, you need to take him home. I spoke with a Psychiatrist that I trust, and she agrees with me that familiar surroundings will be better for him. So, you can take him home today, but I want you to bring him back Friday for a check-up.”
“Okay, what else?”
“He needs to see someone.”
“You mean a therapist?”
“Yes. Sam needs professional help. My psychiatrist friend offered to see him, but I don´t think that´s a good idea.”
“What? Why?” I understood it was important for Sam to see a professional. Sam could already have PTSD from this and the Boston incident.
“He's slipping in and out of Little Mode. It´s a coping mechanism for him, and that’s good and bad.”
“Why would it be bad for him to be Little right now?”
“Because he can't control it. It will make his life more confusing if it goes on too long. He needs someone who understands his Little side as well as the trauma. And he needs to see someone sooner rather than later.”
That made sense. A psychiatrist, who didn’t understand his Little side could make things much worse for Sam. And being kink shamed was the last thing he needed right now.
“I think you should call Ray Hayes.”
Ray was Des’s younger brother. Ray was a bear of a man who looked like he was a member of a biker gang, but he was kind and warm and a damn good therapist from what I´d heard. And Ray was a Daddy.
“That's a good idea. I'll call Ray when I can get Sam to take a nap.”
“Apart from that…all you can do is be there for him. He's going to be sad, angry, tired, moody, depressed. Make sure that he eats, even if he claims that he's not hungry. Look out for stress and any signs of PTSD. And if you need anything, you know where to find me.”
“Thank you, Darrel. I appreciate what you and Josh have done for Sam.”
“Anytime. But we're not done yet. We're bringing you home.”
“What? You don't need to do that, Darrel. My dad has my car. He can…” I stopped when Darrel raised an eyebrow. Oh. “You think that the car will trigger a panic attack?”
“It will be better to have Josh, and I take you home.
◆◆◆
Darrel was so right. As soon as Sam saw the car, he stopped walking, pressed the two stuffies he was carrying to his chest and whimpered. Josh was carrying two balloons and the rest of Sam’s new friends and helped Darrel to put them in the trunk.
“D-Daddy?”
“I know that it's scary, Peanut, but you want to go home, don't you?” Sam nodded but swallowed hard. He´d nearly freaked out when Darrel had told him that they were going to drive us home. But now he started shaking, and we weren´t even in the car. Again, I felt so grateful that Darrel and Josh were here with us because they came up with a plan. “We're not going to drive just yet, remember? Were just going to sit in the car.”
“What if I can't?”
“Then we´ll stay another night at the hospital and try again tomorrow.”
“But I want to go home.”
“Then you'll have to be a brave boy, Peanut. Come on.” I gently ushered him forward. “You can do it.” We talked through each step, slowly getting him to the car. I sat in the backseat and pulled Sam on my lap. He was shaking like a leaf, and he buried his face in my neck and held his turtle and his shark tightly. “That's my good boy. See, the door is still open. Nothing is going to happen.”
“My turtle is scared.”
“But Sharky is there to protect her.” I gently rocked him, and after a few minutes, he finally relaxed a bit. He was tense but not shaking anymore. “Okay, Josh is closing the door now, Peanut. Just breathe with me and relax.”
“It's going to be okay, Buddy. Just listen to your Daddy.” Josh nodded at me and slowly closed the door and clicked it close. Thank God he didn’t slam it shut. I held my breath and prepared myself for an outburst, but he just whimpered and reached for my hand.
“There you go, Peanut. Just suckle on Daddy’s thumb and breathe.” We repeated this game with Darrel starting the car. Then, after another ten minutes, he began to drive. As soon as the car s
tarted to move, Sam started to cry and shake again.
“Sshhh. You're okay, Peanut. Just a few more minutes, and then we’ll be home. Think about the movie we´re going to watch. We could watch How to Train Your Dragon again. Or what about Finding Nemo? There are a lot of fishes and turtles in that one.”
“N-Nemo.”
“Okay, then we'll watch Nemo.” I kissed his head and looked out of the window. Still a couple of blocks away from my apartment, and he was still crying. “We can cuddle up with your new friends. Would your turtle enjoy cuddles?”
“Y-yes.” Sam hiccupped on a sob. “And sharky.”
“Of course, he'd like cuddles, too. I’m sorry I forgot him.”
“Are we there yet?”
“Not yet, Peanut. You're doing great. Just five more minutes.” While rubbing circles on his back, I kissed his head. “Just keep concentrating on me. What would your turtle and sharky like for lunch, huh?”
“Not hungry.”
I caught Darrel's eyes in the back mirror. How the hell was I supposed to get Sam to eat? “Hey, how about we ask Des to bring us his cheeseburgers? You liked them. With french fries and lots of ketchup.”
“Still not hungry. Are we there now?”
“We´re almost there, Buddy. Four more blocks,” Darrel said from the driver’s seat. “Hey, has your Daddy ever made pizza with you?”
“Oh, yes! That´s so much fun!” Josh agreed. “You should do that, Sam.”
“That sounds like a fun idea, what do you think? You could put whatever you want on your pizza.” The car stopped in front of my building. Oh, thank god, we were here.
As soon as Sam realized that we stopped, he started to push against my chest. “Let me out. I want out…”
“Shhh, easy, Baby. Just let me open the door.” Sam practically fell out of the car when I opened the door. Then he stood there and panted for a second then ran for the entrance of the building. I took a deep breath, and I closed my eyes for a second.
“He's going to be okay, Jakob,” Darrel said softly. “I know that it's hard for you to see him like this. But it's going to get better. It just takes time.”