Wiping her eyes, she answered.
"Bethany, it's Matthew."
"Yes. Hi. Is anything wrong?"
"No. I just wanted to ask you something."
"Yes?"
He hesitated.
"Don't tell me our pot fell apart," she said with a laugh.
She could tell he was smiling as he said, "No. It's all still in one piece. I'm not sure if that's good or bad news."
They both laughed at that.
"I just wanted to ask if you might like to go with me to church on Sunday," he said, finally.
She thought for a few seconds. "As I told you, I haven't been to church since...well for quite a long time."
"He's still there," he said quietly. "God's still there. And I imagine quite a few people who would love to see the little baby they've been praying for."
"I suppose so. Would you pick me up?"
"Absolutely. I'm having Ollie install a special baby seat. And you have Jacob's little helmet?"
"I can't thank you enough for that," she said gratefully. "He looks a bit like an astronaut but he doesn't seem to mind it."
"All right. It's settled then. We'll go to the 10:30 service. That will give you time to get him ready."
But Sunday arrived and Jacob was not happy, just generally fussing. Bethany almost called to cancel, but her mother talked her out of it.
Ollie came to the door and helped her out with Jacob, as well as fastening him to the baby seat and loading his diaper bag in the trunk.
"He's not a happy camper," she said to Matthew as she sat next to him and fastened her seatbelt.
She thought Matthew looked very handsome in a three piece black suit and patterned tie.
"If he's too bad, I can hold him in the outer garden on a bench," he said.
"Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that," she said.
He just smiled, and reached over to hold Jacob's little hand.
They arrived a bit early, and the parishioners came up one by one to introduce themselves to her and admire little Jacob's white shirt and vest with matching pants.
"I think he'll be okay without the helmet here," she said as she held Jacob against her shoulder, bouncing him up and down.
Bethany was surprised, as Matthew seemed to know almost all the parishioners by their voices.
Soon, they were ready to go inside the church. She took a deep breath and followed Matthew and Ollie. "Here's your bag, then," Ollie said, handing her the diaper bag as she sat down.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
She wasn't quite prepared for her profound feelings at entering the church again after six months. Matthew sat next to her, and patted her hand. Her tears started then and she wiped them away with Jacob's little cloth. "Oh, I just don't know if I can do this," she told Matthew, as she looked up at the stained glass windows.
"Would you like me to hold the baby?" he asked, as Jacob fretted in her arms.
"No, that's all right," she said.
Soon, the service began, but Matthew told her to just sit when the rest stood, because of Jacob in her arms. The Lutheran service touched her, but when the sermon began, Jacob really fussed.
Matthew reached over, and picked him up. Jacob giggled, smiled then, and said, "Paaaa," really loudly, and his cry echoed in the church, as the parishioners looked on and smiled at the baby. And, as Matthew held and rocked him, Jacob nodded then fell fast asleep.
The pastor seemed to focus, Bethany thought, on the Gospel, According to Luke, as he said, "Ask and it shall be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened for you."
She couldn't help wondering what on earth was at the other side of her doorway. She'd asked so many times, and it seemed as if everything she loved was taken from her, or ruined in some way, as her tears just kept coming.
Matthew listened to Bethany crying, and knew she was in pain, but it was a mental pain, and unlike her child, all the helmets in the world couldn't protect her from it. He felt the baby, sagging against him, a dead-weight, but he loved the feel of Jacob and his pure baby smell and funny way about his outburst. Patting the baby's back, he thought what a little miracle the boy was and how fortunate Bethany was to have him. A little of her husband to always have, and always love. He wondered if she knew how fortunate she really was.
Matthew had been alone for many years. But with Bethany and the baby, he felt complete.
And he remembered Nat's words the day before when they'd discussed Bethany. He'd said, "Man, you don't know her, really. Try not to fall too fast too hard. You might get hurt."
He knew his friend was right. But just the idea of not having Bethany around him threw him into a panic.
Chapter 6
Bethany pulled up to Matthew's house on Monday, and saw an unfamiliar black sedan in the driveway.
When she walked into the den, Matthew was talking to a man she'd never seen before. He was somewhere in his thirties, she thought, thin, with brown hair and a nice smile.
"This is Donny Smith with the IRS," Matthew said, turning towards her.
Her heart dropped at that news. "But I'm not done with the reconciliations yet."
The man must have heard the stress in her voice. "I'm only here to assist," he said smoothly, "not to prosecute anyone. Just tell me what you're looking for and I'll find it."
But she was still feeling territorial about her work, and she frowned, a bit upset with Matthew for calling the man in. "I see," she said slowly, as she placed her briefcase on her desk. "Just give me a minute here and I can tell you."
She could feel Matthew looking in her direction questioningly, but she didn't turn towards him, instead booted up her computer and searched around for the files she'd been working on.
Ollie came in then with a good-sized portable table and folding chair for the man.
Matthew sat in his chair while he listened to them.
"This year," she said, "I've figured out. She wrote checks into cost of sales. Ten thousand one-hundred total." Bethany stood and put the files in front of the man, Donny. But he looked up at her with somewhat of a forward manner that she disliked instantly. He watched her appraisingly, and his eyes roved up and down her body. And she knew he was so very aware that Matthew couldn't see what was going on.
"I'll look it over," he said in a normal tone of voice, and she thought the ironic thing was that he was looking her over at the same time.
She tried to concentrate on her work in the morning, but felt the man's eyes on her almost the whole time. She knew she should tell him to stop, but she wasn't sure how. He was not saying anything, so she couldn't involve Matthew, who just sat with his earphones on.
Nat breezed in just before lunch, making her laugh with funny comments on the rabbits that had started inhabiting the barn recently.
Matthew said, "Can we offer you lunch, Donny?"
Her feelings plunged again at the man's quick 'Yes' and she raised her eyebrows at Nat. "Join us?" she asked.
"Sure. Why do you think I'm here? Couldn't be for Matthew's company."
"Well in that case, you have to starve," Matthew said, laughing.
Nat looked at Donny. "Is this a reportable lunch expense? I have my own business."
The man laughed but said nothing as he still stared at her.
Nat wasn't sure what was going on, but he just watched Bethany and thought he'd never seen her so nervous and jumpy.
And all during lunch, she seemed preoccupied, while the IRS agent checked her out. So, he thought, that was it. The man was coming onto her. Bull, he thought, as he tried to joke and break up the tension filled atmosphere.
But, in the end, he couldn't think of a way to break the man's train of thought, so he sent a voice message to Matthew. "Hey, my man, you need to keep...I mean listen for that IRS guy. I get the feeling he's making Bethany uncomfortable. He was looking at her all during lunch. Anyway, call me if you have any questions."
Five minutes after he'd sent the voicemail, Matthew called him.
"What's going on, Nat?"
"Can't explain it. He's just checking her out too much. Could you get rid of him somehow?"
"I don't know how," Matthew said with a sigh. "But, I can try to hurry him up. I'd better get back in there now. Thanks, Nat."
In the afternoon, after she'd called a fourth time to check on Jacob, she noticed Matthew stood in front of her desk, sometimes just lounging, other times asking her questions about the various years. His presence made her feel more at ease, as she tried to reconcile the years quickly. But, it was a slow process, and eventually he went back to his desk. She noticed he didn't wear his earphones after that.
The next day, she saw Donny's car was in front again. And, to make matters worse, Matthew told her to wear jeans for some reason, and the only pair she could find were a bit snug on her. It was one of the few times in the past year when she hoped she actually looked fat in them.
But from the look the agent gave her when she walked in, she knew he liked the jeans as his eyes rolled up and down her.
"How's Jacob?" Matthew asked her, as he sat at his desk.
"He's wonderful. Still trying to turn over, but he just can't seem to make it," she laughed.
"You have a kid?" Donny asked.
"Yes. A boy named Jacob." She answered quickly.
"Got a picture of him?" he said.
"No. Sorry. I left it at home." And she realized Matthew would know she was lying then, as she always carried a picture of Jacob to show people.
After she was settled, Donny asked for a particular year and said he could help her reconcile it. But when he came behind her desk to retrieve it, she pushed back in her desk chair. "I'll bring it to you," she snapped.
But he was undaunted, just stood there so close, she could smell his strong aftershave.
She searched her desk and came up with the bank statements and financials. "Knock yourself out," she said.
He took his time looking everything over, the statements from the bank matched to the financials, edging closer to her chair, until he was finally leaning against her, with his thigh against her chair. She felt utterly trapped and decided she needed the direct approach. "Can you please move? I'm getting claustrophobic here."
Matthew heard the tone in her voice, and his head bounced up, while he rose and felt his way to the front of her desk. "Do you have everything you need from her?" he asked Donny.
"Yeah," the man said, moving back to the table, "got it."
And it went on that way for most of the day, until around two o'clock, Matthew told her to meet him in the kitchen. "What's up?" she said, as she walked in and said hello to Sarah.
"We're going horse-back riding," he said with a smile.
"I'm ready," she said, relieved at the thought of getting fresh air and also away from the over-eager IRS agent.
They met Ollie and a stable-hand at the barn and Matthew swung himself expertly up into the saddle on a large black horse, while Ollie showed her a smaller black and white mare. She made it up on the horse at the second try, laughing the whole time.
Mutty accompanied them, off leash, sometimes barking loudly, and she thought he was rather herding the horses and letting them know which direction to turn.
"How often do you ride horses?" she asked Matthew as they rode along.
"I try to go out once a week at least. Nat takes them out with Alicia sometimes, and Ollie and Sarah will go also to exercise them." He sighed. "Listen, Bethany, what's going on in the house there?"
She knew what he meant. "The man just makes me nervous. He's creepy. Keeps looking at me like he wants to eat me for breakfast."
Matthew laughed at that. "I don't want you to worry. There's always someone within shouting distance, you know. So, you're safe."
"Yes. I guess I hadn't thought of that."
They were silent riding along together while the sun shone on them.
"Matthew, I just am curious and you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I was wondering why you are blind. Whatever happened?"
He smiled. "It's called ROP, Retinopathy of Prematurity. I can just barely say it much less understand it. Before my parents died, they told me I had a few operations to try to fix my retina after I was born, but they didn't work. So, unfortunately for me, it's irreversible."
"Doesn't it just make you mad?" she asked before she could stop the words. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."
"Yes, actually it does. It's very frustrating for me. Especially colors, which I wish I could see. I know hot and cold, red is like hot, blue is like cold, and purple somewhere in between. It's all a jumble in my mind sometimes. And babies, like Jacob. I would just like to see him once, get a picture in my mind."
"Oh he's just lovely," Bethany said softly, "such an expressive little face. He just lights up when he sees you. I think he can feel your warmth."
"Thank you. That's very nice."
They rode along what she thought was his property line, a wide swath of trails, until Mutty led the horses back to the barn.
"That was wonderful," she said to Matthew after she dismounted somewhat awkwardly. "I'm not sure if I'm a horse person, but I did have a great time. Now I have to go back and face the beast," she laughed.
But the agent, although acting well in the house, was right in her face again as she opened her back car door at the end of her day to throw in her briefcase.
"Would you like to go for a drink?" he asked, standing entirely too close to her.
"No. Thank you." She moved quickly to the driver's side door and slid in.
Unfortunately, her car window was all the way open and he leaned on it now. "Sure? I know of this really nice place. We could have dinner."
She decided she'd had enough of this and enough of him. "I'm sorry, but not only am I in a relationship," she thought of Matthew then, "but I also have home commitments. Now, you'll excuse me." And she rolled up her window fast, before he could comment, and drove home.
Matthew and Nat stood at the window. "What's happening?" Matthew asked his friend.
"She got rid of him. Not to worry. Now he's driving away."
"Good. Do me a favor and check on her from time to time tomorrow would you? I've got that meeting in town and I can't miss it. She really doesn't like him at all, does she?"
"I don't think so, my man. Go ahead to your meeting. I've got you covered."
But, as she came into the den the following day, Bethany was dismayed to find Matthew gone. Sarah told her about his meeting, and she calculated about three hours at least for going to and from and the meeting time.
Donny was badgering her now, he seemed in a hissy mood, and finally she just started telling him he'd need to wait for Matthew for the information he was requesting.
"What if I don't want to wait?" he said, moving behind her desk.
"Sarah!" she called quickly. The woman popped her head in, and Bethany said, "Can you bring me some juice please?"
"Of course. Be right back."
And Bethany was alone with the obnoxious man again. He didn't move, and she spun back her chair to get away from him.
"Why won't you go out with me?" he asked quietly.
"Because I don't want to. I don't owe you any explanation."
"You're bad for a guy's ego, you know that?"
"Only if it's teeny-tiny," she replied. "I'm sure there are plenty of women who would jump at the chance to go out with you."
And she realized she'd hit a chord with that one. "Well, I have one who keeps calling me all the time," he said proudly. "But she's not as pretty as you are." His eyes started roving over her again, but he did move aside while Sarah brought Bethany's juice.
Sarah looked at him curiously. "Can I get you some coffee or tea?" she asked.
He returned to his seat. "No, thank you."
Bethany thought she heard him say, "Must be nice to be rich," under his breath.
After that, Nat seemed to come in about every half hour, cracking jokes and breaki
ng the tension in the room that the obnoxious government man caused.
"We're almost done," Donny said finally, after Matthew arrived from his meeting.
He told Matthew his bottom line figures, which of course, differed from his income tax returns which would have to be amended by a new accountant's office.
After Donny left, Matthew sat at his desk and rubbed his eyes. "What to do with Dena?" he asked, referring to the pilfering bookkeeper.
"The total is thirty thousand. Not a huge amount, but certainly enough for prosecution," Bethany replied, tapping her pencil on the desk.
"We'll work out a five year repayment plan for her. I know she has kids, she told me one time," he said. "She must have needed the money."
"But, she needs to know that stealing it is wrong. Think about that too."
"Tell you what. Let's confront her at church. I think that would be a very effective way of letting her know she was wrong."
"Yes. I suppose so."
Chapter 7
Bethany drove to Matthew's house the following Monday, thinking that the day before had been such a nice day. Her mother packed them a picnic and they'd gone to the park around the corner, just she, Matthew and Jacob, after church.
He seemed to love the baby, and never tired of his cries or giggling noises.
Smiling, she let herself into the house, then to the den.
Nat came in just then, and she whirled around to smile at him, but her face fell just at the look on his face. "What's wrong?" she asked.
He brought her over to the sofa and they sat. "He's had another fall," Nat said seriously.
"Who...Matthew?"
"Yes. I'd been meaning to talk to you about this before, I just couldn't seem to find the right time. And, he doesn't like me talking about it."
"Is he hurt? I didn't realize he'd fallen before." She remembered how well he maneuvered the day before just with her and his cane for guidance.
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