Aquarius (Guardians of the Stars Book 2)
Page 10
Young wolves danced around her, sticking out fat little tongues as she swiped the air near their heads.
“I thought there was only wolves. I never thought…”
My stomach twisted and turned. Xael’s steely gaze melted as the children scurried from her outstretched hand. The crack of a smile came slow across her lips, but I knew this was for the benefit of others. What lay underneath the mask was someone brave and resourceful, someone comforting, demanding, and a total pain in the ass.
Nothing about my sister was soft. She was hard and strong. She’d bring you to your knees if you weren’t careful, but she was never cruel, never bloodthirsty. Evander hovered close, always watching out for her and for all of us, so protective. We all were. I knew Zadoc was alive. I knew he’d fight. He’d bleed, he’d scream, but he’d stay alive. She’d been so close, right behind them. If they’d taken Xael instead…
A shudder raced along my spine. I licked the dry skin of my lips. “You really want to know?”
“Yes.”
I lifted my head to meet his hopeful gaze. “Then Marcus is the one you need to speak to, not me.”
I shouldered my way past, leaving him and the rest of this new family behind. I left mud in my wake, turning left instead of where my heart wanted and skirted the crowd.
Heads turned. Voices called me. I turned toward the sound and stilled Evander’s steps with a shake of my head. This was not his fight—it was mine and mine alone. I needed answers, or at least I needed someone who would listen.
I left the roar behind, heading along the hallway until it split in two. Electricity filled the space. The current hummed over my skin, raising the hairs on my arms. I slowed my steps and raised my hand to knock before a croak echoed from inside the room.
“Come in, dragon. I’ve been waiting.”
I turned the handle and pushed open the door. It’d been ages since I’d set foot in my sister’s bedroom. Twelve of us living under the one roof, we valued each other’s privacy. Soft blues and pastel greens took me by surprise. I didn’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this.
I skimmed the plush tasseled comforter and high-backed sapphire chair and the bulky canopy of her bed. Sky blue and sea green was all around me, inviting me to sit, relax. But I wasn’t here to relax, or stare. I was here for answers.
The Shaman sat against the far wall. Her dark hooded eyes never left me as I closed the door, and then crossed the floor.
“I was wondering when you’d turn up.”
My dragon inhaled, filling my ears with the harsh sound. He shifted under my skin. His thorns scraped the edges of my control. “Good, so we can skip the awkward silences and get straight to it.”
“Let’s get one thing straight. I don’t have all the answers. I can tell you three things, what I know, what I’ve seen, and what I choose to believe. The rest is up to you.”
I shifted from one foot to the other and tried to find the essence of truth. She’d cared for the wolf, and protected her. But if my own kin could turn against me I had to ask myself, could anyone be trusted?
She motioned to the floor in front of her. Wide pastel blue cushions covered the floor. I shook my head and snapped. “I’m not here to be comfortable, speak your mind.”
The shrug of her shoulders gave me cause for concern, but then she started and I was rooted to the spot.
“I take it you’ve had the same premonition—fire, smoke, and the world plunged into darkness?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me, what would it take to break a spirit? I don’t mean physical endurance or pain, and not a heartbreak. But constant neglect and unrelenting betrayal until the essence you started this world with becomes nothing more than a shadow.”
My mind was filled with her voice. Her words hovered on the surface of my mind like part of a puzzle. I moved the pieces, trying to make them fit, trying to find some semblance of a purpose. “I don’t know.”
Her brows tightened. Her nose twitched. “Then let me ask you another. Do you truly believe you can kill a person’s essence and leave the flesh alive?”
Could someone kill my soul? Kill what makes me…me?
“No.”
She speared a crooked finger toward me. Flesh wobbled, drooping from her frail arms. “Right! So, now let me ask another. Could someone trick another into thinking this was the case? Could they break someone so low that all they see is the beast?”
“You mean mental conditioning? Brain washing?”
“Yes!” Her eyes shone like midnight moons. The current in the room filled my ears, and raked my skin with claws. I slapped my hands over my ears—still all I heard was her. I slammed the steel, towering walls inside my mind. She brushed them aside, invading every thought.
“I’ve seen it, a long time ago. The results were… She was nothing more than a shell when I found her. There was nothing I could do. I tried, dragon. I tried. She killed herself in my arms. Tore her mind apart. I’ve never seen something so pathetic, so bereft. You’d swear she was a ghost…a ghost of nothing.”
Those words drifted like the tail end of an off-key note. “As for what I choose to believe, this goes no farther than this room, you hear me? I got fight left in these old bones and I don’t want no pauper’s grave. I won’t be shoved into a dark corner where no one comes to visit. I got fences to mend—you understanding me, dragon? I got fences to mend and love to sow.”
I gripped my ears and nodded. “Witch…lower…the…volume.”
She flinched and suddenly the pincers stopped biting my nerves. My head was reeling. I lowered my hands to rub the base of my neck.
“I think this prophecy is a load of crusted black fungus. I think the war’s already here. It’s been brewin’ since you and your kin went underground. These dreams are showing you the future all right, but not one your wolf’s responsible for. We’re all to blame here, most won’t see that…not until it’s too late.”
It never made sense. One wolf causing all that. Hope flared, lighting my way.
“But what I think’s more interesting is, why do they want to pin it on one lone wolf? What is it about Odessa that makes her such a target? How much power do you think is inside her to turn her wolf into a damn shadow? That raw power…they’d never see it coming. No one would—would they?”
All that power. I could still feel the darkness rippling through the air—drawing, pulsing, becoming alive, becoming real enough to…
“What’s inside her is a beast—a true monster. She’s got the damn thing leashed, but one small slip, and well…you saw for yourself what she can do. Those chains won’t last forever though. One day, someone, or something will push her past the point of caring and then, even the love of a dragon won’t save us.”
“Is there any way we can find Zadoc without Odessa traveling to this demon world?”
“I’ve tried to find a pattern to their portals. I can feel them moving, like maggots under my skin. But I can’t pierce the void. I can’t find a way through to reach him.”
“And you couldn’t join forces with her? You did last time and it worked.”
“Last time your girlfriend almost killed me. I never spoke about it to anyone. It was my own damn fault, I journeyed too far, took too much. I don’t ever want to touch anything that powerful and that dark ever again.”
My hand dropped from my neck to smack my thigh. Something had happened to me…my head was a tornado. But instead of nonsense, the old woman was starting to make sense. “The dark mage…Rowen, she’s hiding something. I just know it.”
The old woman nodded, her dark eyes sparkled with something akin to fear. “We been meetin’—the dark mage and me. Been trying to find the demon path, used all my power, used all hers as well. But there’s somethin’ about her. Somethin’ she ain’t tellin’. Everyone’s got secrets here…but none more so than your wolf.”
I flinched at her words; some secrets seep into your veins and hold you down. They become part of you until you’re so used to the
weight you don’t recognize how destructive they’ve become.
“Some of us are just born with tragedy in our blood. Your Odessa is one of them. If I was a betting woman I’d tell you to leave her. Run away with your family. Run away with your heart…while you still have one left. I might be wrong, dragon. I might be wrong, and if you stay, I’ve damned more than my own selfish soul. But I’ve seen the way you look at her. I pray to the Gods I’m right, that somehow you’ll change her from our biggest enemy, to become our greatest ally. For in the end it’ll take a monster to destroy one.”
My mouth was arid. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t feel anything but the throb inside my head. I licked my lips. The old woman had given me everything and nothing. This secret would bind us together now. The witch was right, no one could know. If the wrong person found out… Only one question remained.
“Who would do that?”
She motioned me forward with the twitch of her crusted yellow nail. My knee buckled. I was moving before I knew it, dropping to the ground in front of her and leaning in.
She cupped her hand. Her dark eyes sparkled like stars in the dead of the night as she whispered. “One of her kin.”
Sadness smothered me like a hand over my mouth. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think… I shoved against the floor. My palm slipped on the turquoise throw. I pitched forward. My elbows hit the hard tile floor. Pain ripped through my arm, jarring my joint. I shoved, faltered, grasping the blanket and heaved.
The covering sailed through the air until it hit the rail of Xael’s four-poster bed. Threads hung, waving in a non-existent breeze. My thighs strained, cracking the dried mud on my pants.
“Remember, dragon. Not a word. Not even to your brothers.”
The threat was clear. No one would believe me anyway. I gripped the handle before I realized and yanked. Ghosts chased me as I closed the door and stumbled along the hallway.
This was too much to take in, too much to understand…only one phrase remained to haunt me.
In the end it’ll take a monster to destroy one.
The laughter was muted, dull and hollow in my head. I found my way back amongst the wolves and the dragons. The laughter…the laughter sounded twisted and strange. Vibrant colors now bled to gray. I turned my head, finding Marcus amongst the crowd. He was deep in conversation. His hand clenched at his side just as he’d always done. I saw him as we once were—strong, vibrant, fearless. We’d fought side by side.
But not anymore. My boots skimmed the floor, slowing…stopping.
He didn’t know. He didn’t understand. If I spoke to him. If I made him see.
A voice rose over the crowd. Marcus turned his head toward the sound, finding his wolf—the new pack leader—Abrial. She lifted her hand. Her eyes were bright. They were so happy. They didn’t need anyone else.
The thought hit me.
They don’t need anyone else.
The muted sound came back in a rush, sweeping me away in a torrent of cheering, giggling, chatter, and calls.
I’ve seen the way you look at her. I pray to the Gods I’m right, that she’s not our biggest enemy, but our greatest ally.
My brother looked at Abrial the same, as though she was our greatest ally. To him she was. She saved him just as Odessa saved me.
Not a word, dragon. Not even to your kin.
A woman jostled between me and the others. She lifted her head, smiling, and caught my gaze. Her grin faltered, her gaze turned serious. “Excuse me.”
I found the floor and stepped to the side. These people weren’t here for me—this wasn’t my show. My show waited for me in my room, huddled under the covers in my bed…right where she belonged.
I headed for the stairs at the back of the room. Purpose filled me, tightening my thighs, lengthening my stride. I dodged wolves, wove around family, leaving North and Bastian to stare as I left them behind.
The hallway was deserted. My door shut. I gripped the handle and for a second fear gripped me in an icy embrace. What if she was gone? What if she just left?
I shoved the door open—hinges squealed under the force, wood slammed against the wall. She turned at the sound. Her long, damp hair smacked against her shoulders and stayed there. Gone was the bandage, leaving the raised, angry flesh exposed to the air. Her eye was slow to open, still swollen, but it was the person inside those eyes that I was searching for.
She was made of glass. I was such a bumbling buffoon, such a stupid damn idiot who had no right to stand here, who had no right to be next to anyone so…beautiful.
“Do you see me?”
Her shut eye twitched with the words. I took a step closer and stood in her shadow.
“Do you see me?”
I nodded, my words slow to find sound. “Yes. Yes, I see you.”
The shake of her head never moved those stuck strands. She lifted her arm and stared at the thickened pink scars. “Sometimes I feel like I’m a ghost. Like I’m not even here and I’m just living a dream. Do you feel like that? Like you just don’t exist?”
Never had the divide between my family and me been greater. I’d always been the one who’d been a step behind Marcus. The one who tried and tried…but never managed to get there. The one who pushed others’ needs before his own. The one who was a ghost. I nodded. “Yes.”
“What happens when a ghost dies?”
I forced the words though my clenched teeth. “You’re not a ghost, Odessa. You’re real, as real as any person alive. Hell, you’re more real than any of those out there.”
“No more pain and guilt. Just nothing. Sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? I’m not afraid of death. It’s living that terrifies me.”
She dropped her gaze to the ground, as though she couldn’t bear to look at me any longer. What secrets she must hide. The voices outside seemed to quieten. I found the softening sunlight. Tonight the wolves would celebrate…and tomorrow at the height of the full moon, there’d be an initiation.
A howl tore through the air, sounding farther off in the distance. It was followed by another, and then another in an outcry of exaltation. Odessa jumped at the sound. Something glinted on her cheek as she turned toward the bed. Her movements were slow as she pulled back the covers and sat on the bed and stilled.
I grasped the handle, swinging the door closed behind me. She scooted across the queen-sized mattress as I edged closer. I trod on the back of one boot and dragged my foot free, followed by the other.
I was falling, falling into the sweetest ocean, giving everything to this seamless dive as I climbed under the sheets next to her. There was no awkward silence, no accidental brush of an arm or a leg to gauge the other’s reaction—there was just this.
The cold mattress warmed under my body. I lifted my arm and she was there, curled against my ribs as though I was made just for her, as though this body was nothing without her.
Dried strands of her hair speared through the open buttons of my shirt to tickle my chest. The scent of raspberries filled my nose. She scooted lower, turning to clinch the side of my body. I dropped my head and inhaled.
I’d never smelled anything so beautiful.
I’d never had anything so right.
Where was the monster now?
Where was the monster when she was lying in my arms?
I gripped her shoulders and held tight.
She never lifted her head. Her tiny whisper barely more than the harsh draw of breath. “Please don’t ever leave me. I can’t live with this darkness by myself.”
Those words were steel knuckles driving into the softest part of me…the part I tried to protect…the part I tried to hide. But there was no hiding, not when it came to her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Odessa. I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.”
She seemed to melt around me. Her muscles twitched and jumped, then slowly eased. The light skulked away, replaced by a sullen dark hue, which quickly turned to night. Outside the wolves howled and yipped in a joyous song that never slowed. I c
ould smell the smoke and taste the fire. I could feel the energy brewing like a thunderstorm on the horizon, and inside the crackle of excitement, I felt the unity come together.
I stared at the ceiling, watching the shadows swallow the room, and dissected the witch’s words, trying to capture as much as I could and find the parts I needed the most.
They wanted to break Odessa. They wanted to turn her into something she wasn’t. They needed her to break her chains and set her wolf free. But I’d seen the black misted monster that lived inside her. I’d looked into the beast’s eyes and knew I was staring at death.
And not just my death—everyone’s death.
They created a weapon inside this woman curled against my body. A weapon no one could fight…unless they killed her.
She shifted, lifting her head to brush the underside of my arm. In the darkness, her amber eyes found mine, and then closed once more. Her breathing deepened and slowed, lulling me into a soft rhythm.
I listened to the mountain come alive with the wolves, and then slowly die down as the hours passed. Odessa whimpered in her sleep, only to wrench her eyes open to find mine. I clutched her close until I lost feeling in my arm and even then it didn’t matter—all that mattered was her.
The creak of hinges dragged me awake. I yanked open my eyes and stared into the darkness. The scent of wolf invaded my room, a low growl slipped inside.
“Come one step closer and I’ll kill you.”
My words were a whisper, but never lessened the intent. The creak echoed once more and in the darkness, I knew this place had changed. This was no longer my home.
This place was a battlefield.
The hours crept by slowly, as I stared into the darkness. If I had the power, I’d stop time completely—just to remain here with her forever. We’d never have to leave these walls, just lay like this for eternity. But time obeyed another master. Soon the sun would rise and give new breath to new dangers.
I gripped Odessa. She murmured unintelligible words, and sighed. Desire surged inside me with those sounds and suddenly it felt like us against the world.
“I want to go to the initiation.”