Boogeyman's Dream

by Glenna Maynard

  I drive until we hit the Virginia state line.

  I know what I need to do.

  I have to set her free.

  We come up on a rest stop that has a small park to walk around and stretch your legs after travelling.

  After grabbing some drinks from the vending machine, we look for a seat. It’s only us and a few late-night travelers.

  We cop a squat at a picnic table.

  “How’s the shoulder?”

  “A bit sore,” she confesses.

  “Take these.” I hand her a couple of pain relievers.

  “Thanks.” Taking a sip of her Pepsi, she swallows the pills.

  We sit in an uncomfortable silence until she breaks it.

  “Will you tell me about Kristen? I saw your tattoos. They tell your story, don’t they? She’s dead, right?”

  I have never wanted to share my story with anyone before. Hades and a few of the others know bits and pieces of my fucked-up life but they don't know the full ugly truth.

  I feel I owe it to Shelly though. Because one day she will remember who I truly am, and I don't want there to be any damn mistake on what kind of man I am.

  I don’t want her looking back and romanticizing who I am—a fucking monster. A real life fucking Boogeyman who will haunt her dreams.

  She’ll haunt me too but in a much different way.

  “Our parents married when I was seven and she was around eleven. My mom had run off when I was five. My dad liked to beat on her. Blamed her for all his problems. She left me behind to take her place as his punching bag. Anyway. Kristen’s mom wasn’t much better. She loved the needle more than anything. There were a lot of times I thought she was dead. Eventually I think she did die, though my old man said she ran off too. Truth be told I am sure he killed them both.”

  I stop to take a drink. “I never found out what had happened to them until I caught him in a talking mood. He told me he dumped their bodies in the old well. He was going to put Kristen there, but I buried her under an old willow tree. The one we’d climb up in to hide from my bastard father.”

  “Oh! Charlie.” Shelly squeezes my hand.

  I shake my head. “Don’t be sorry for me. I’m no angel in this story. Kristen was good to me. She looked after me and got between me and my old man a few times. She paid for it too. Not long after her mom was gone my old man started using Kristen. The first time he forced her, I watched. She had gotten her period and the blood got on the couch. I tried to hide it for her. Flipped the cushion over but we weren’t fooling the bastard. I woke up later that night to the sound of her screams. Of her begging him to stop. I peered through the keyhole and there she was. Bent over his bed. He was behind her with his belt. The white nightgown she always wore was pulled up over her hips as he struck her repeatedly for soiling the couch. When she came out of the room, her gown was in rags and blood stained her thighs.”

  I continue the story. Telling her how Kristen took care of me and how I was there for her. I’d clean her up and help her hide the abuse because I was scared of losing her. I didn’t want her to be taken away, too.

  If I hadn’t been selfish she’d have gotten away before it was too late. Before she ended up like all the others.

  “Charlie, you have to know that what happened wasn’t your fault. You were a boy. A scared and lost little boy clinging to the one person who loved you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I could have saved her. I could have killed him sooner.”

  “You killed your father?”

  “I told you. I’m not a good man.”

  “I think you gave him better than he deserved.”

  I shake my head.

  I’m the one who should be dead. Not Kristen.

  I stand, and Shelly goes to follow me, but I push her down by her shoulder and she winces.

  “Five miles from here there is a police station. When I get far enough away I will call in an anonymous tip.”

  “What? No,” she protests. “I’m staying with you.”

  “You deserve better than I can give you. I’m no better than my old man and if you stay with me you’ll end up like Kristen.”

  “I don’t care about the past. You aren’t your father. You’re a good man.” She clings to my hand.

  “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I’m trying to do the right thing here.”

  “What about what I want? Do my feelings matter? Do I get a say so?”

  “You think you know me, but you don’t.”

  “I know you…I know what’s in here…” Her other hand moves to cover my chest where my heart would be if I had one.

  I jerk from her hold and turn my back on her. Every step I take away from her kills me a little more on the inside. The broken look on her face. I put it there. It’s etched in my mind. To serve as a reminder of who I am and what I do.

  “Charlie!” She screams my name, but it falls on deaf ears.

  I get on my bike and drown out the sound of her cry as I rev the engine.

  Every mile I drive I see a flash of her smile in my head. The way she looked at me as though she loved me. The way she felt when I fucked her. The taste of her lips. It all plays on a never-ending loop.

  I make it two more miles down the road before I turn back for her.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  —Shelly—

  I don't think I have ever known such pain as I am feeling when Charlie turns his back on me. My chest feels like my heart is going to beat straight out of it, but I am too hurt...too angry to shed anymore tears. The first cut was the deepest. When he said he wasn't good enough. He thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved. Not by anyone. Not by me.

  He’s still that lost little boy in need of affection. I thought I could be enough to save him from himself. But he is dead set on destroying anything good that comes his way. I can’t save him if he doesn't want to be saved. I thought when he opened up to me it meant he was ready for the love I want to give him.

  Only that’s not what it was at all.

  It was goodbye.

  Hugging my chest, I start walking. The cool night air whips around me as trucks breeze past me on the freeway.

  How could he just leave me here?

  I thought we had something special.

  That I was special to him.

  I hear the rumbling of a motorcycle and what’s left of my heart falls to my feet when I see that it isn’t him coming back to tell me he made a mistake. Every step I take I feel more distance being put between us. One step closer to losing my mind.

  A truck slows to a near stop behind me. I turn, being blinded by the lights.

  The silhouette of a man appears to lean out the window

  “Need a lift?”

  I try to shield my eyes to make out the man’s appearance.

  It doesn’t look as though I have much of a choice.

  I can continue to wander aimlessly, or I can take another stranger up on their kindness.

  My mind flashes to Charlie and how he’s hurt me. I think I would rather wander on my own than to put any faith into another man.

  “No thanks,” I call out.

  The loud hydraulic sound large trucks make squeals, and the driver takes off to places unknown to me.

  I walk some ways further when I hear the sound of another motorcycle. My heart beats rapidly in my chest until it blows past me with two riders. Another false alarm.

  I bury my face in my hands.

  He’s gone.

  My tears fall as freely as the rain that has started to downpour on me.

  I spread my arms and spin around in the rain letting the drops wash over me as I look up at the sky, hoping they will somehow cleanse me of him, because I feel him deep in my bones, in every breath I take.

  It is almost laughable. My situation.

  Here I am in the middle of nowhere.

  Charlie has left me.

  I can’t stop thinking about him though. He’s embedded himself in every fiber of my being.
>
  His smile.

  His rough touch.

  Those dark eyes that captivate me completely.

  That heart he tries to keep hidden away.

  All the things that make him the man that I crave.

  Lightning cracks in the sky, lighting up the road. There is an exit ahead that will take me to the police station. I don’t want to go there. I want to go back to that trailer in the woods. The one shut off from the rest of the world where there is nothing but Charlie and me.

  A loud rumble sounds behind me but I don’t dare look. I don't need to. I already know it won’t be him. The sound fades. I hear my name. “Shelly!” The name he gave me carries through the sheets of rain. Maybe I am hearing things. I already feel a bit crazy anyway.

  But his hand on mine, that I can’t ignore. Charlie spins me around.

  He opens his mouth, but no words come out.

  “What!” I yell over the storm.

  The light from his motorcycle headlight illuminates his figure as he towers over me. Soaking wet and mad at the world.

  His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard. “You remind me of Kristen. Of my shitty past. All the bad things I have done. Sometimes I can’t stand to look at you. I want to hate you. I want to punish you. I’m not supposed to care. You’re not supposed to mean a damn thing to me. But you do.” He pulls me in close. My clothes are heavy and clinging to my body. He stares down at me, holding my gaze.

  “Come on,” he says leading me back to his bike and I climb on and hold on to him.

  ———

  It’s been one week since the night in the rain.

  Charlie has been distant. We haven't talked about that night. He stays gone and comes back late at night. He sleeps on the couch. I feel trapped. I can’t escape my feelings for him, but I can’t take the silence any longer.

  We can’t go on like this.

  It’s late and he’s been drinking. We both have. It helps to dull the pain in my chest. He barely looks at me.

  I stand behind his chair and rub his shoulders. “You feel tense.”

  “Got a lot on my mind,” he states coolly, and I am afraid of what he might say.

  “Anything I can do to help?”

  “Can you make me not want you?” He looks up at me and my heart stops. He’s serious.

  “Charlie…” words seem to be failing me. “Do you want me to go?”

  He shakes his head and pushes the chair back. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “I think you did.” I try like hell to bite back my tears. I don't know why I am being so emotional. He’s been trying to tell me that he doesn’t want me to stay. I can’t take the hint. Maybe he thought I would be gone by the time he got home today if he stayed gone long enough.

  Nothing. Charlie says nothing. He runs a hand through his hair and stays silent. It is all the answer I need.

  I go to the bedroom and slip my stupid fucking rooster flip-flops on and start out the front door.

  “Shelly!” His loud voice booms after me but I keep walking.

  Someone is bound to recognize me. Fuck Charlie. Thick fat tears well up in the corners of my eyes as I walk faster down the driveway putting more distance between us.

  I hear the front door slam shut but I don't dare turn around. I can’t face him right now.

  Heavy steps sound behind me, growing closer.

  I start to run but he lunges for me, tackling me to the ground, crushing me with his weight. I hit my head on the ground and stars dance before my eyes. My world is threatening to go black.

  Charlie rolls me over and holds my head in his hands.

  I stare up at him as flashes of him come rushing at me. Only they aren’t of Charlie. The flashes are of a biker named Boogeyman.

  A savage and brutal killer.

  A man who takes without remorse.

  A name sewn on a black leather vest floats in my mind as Charlie, a monster in disguise, kisses me. It feels so right and yet so wrong. His tongue sweeps inside my mouth and I love the taste of him. His kiss as good as it is isn’t enough to make me forget.

  I bite his lip hard enough to draw blood and he pulls back and wipes at the torn skin as blood trickles down his chin.

  “Fuck, princess. You scared me.”

  “Get away from me!” I shriek and push at his chest.

  “Never happening,” he growls and rips my shirt open, exposing my chest. My heart shatters in two as the truth of everything slams into me at the same time as he shoves my shorts down.

  “No!” I push against him and squeeze my knees shut, remembering him drugging me.

  I remember the cold dead look in his eyes when he wore that mask to kill my friends. The fear I felt when he stuck the barrel of his gun in my mouth.

  The same terror plagues me now as I stare into the eyes of Charlie wondering how they can be the same person.

  “I need you, Shelly. I love you, baby. Let me show you.”

  “No.” I shake my head again. “This isn't love.” I fight against him, but he holds me down. My arms are now pinned over my head and I can’t move as his weight presses down on me. Warmth pools between my thighs and I hate myself for it.

  His mouth comes down on mine and his tongue presses through the part of my lips. My body is a traitorous whore because my tongue reunites with his and I moan.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  —Boogeyman—

  I feel crazed. For the past week I have tried like hell to stay away from Shelly. Hades knows I am hiding something. He’s been breathing down my Goddamn neck. I pretend to sleep at the clubhouse trying to keep him from finding out my secret. I hang around until he goes home to his wife then I sneak out the back door like a fucking coward. Then I come here to the trailer and watch her sleep. A ghost of the first person I ever loved. Truth be told, I love Shelly. I am so fucking in love with her I can’t even think straight.

  I tried to let her go. Tried to do the right thing but when it came down to it I couldn’t. I couldn't walk away.

  I can’t imagine a life for myself without her in it.

  I’ve tried to make her hate me and I’ve succeeded. The way she looked at me before she walked out the door gutted me, and I knew I couldn’t let her walk away feeling like I don’t want her.

  Like I don't need her.

  I’ve fucked up.

  I’ve made so many mistakes with her.

  I have her pinned to the ground, ready to be claimed good and proper like I should have done the moment I laid eyes on her. I should have stood up to Hades—to the club and told them they’d have to take me to ground to keep me from her.

  I rub my fingers through her slick heat as she fights against me. She fucking loves it rough. I’m making her fantasy come true. The more she fights the rougher I get and the wetter she grows. Shelly is soaked for me.

  I will force her to surrender.

  She will be mine.

  Her thighs push together, and I wedge my knee between hers.

  “You’re mine, princess. This hot little cunt belongs to me.” With my free hand I sink two fingers inside her heated core. Her hips buck and her hungry cunt accepts my thick fingers eagerly.

  Scratching her nails down my back she spits at me, “I hate you.”

  “I love you too, baby. Give yourself to me and I’ll get you off.” I continue to tease her pulsing nerves, bringing her to the edge of carnal bliss then pulling her back again, denying her of what she wants until she submits.

  “Say it,” I growl in savage demand as I work my fingers in and out in a scissoring motion.

  “No,” she hisses, and I laugh.

  “Want me to work for it. I got all damn night. No one can hear you scream. No one is going to stop me from taking you. You. Belong. To. Me. I'll tattoo my name across your ass and your forehead makes no difference to me, but sweetheart...I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to fuck you until you surrender. Until you say you’ll be mine. Then I’m going to cum all in you. I’m going to cum in you every Godd
amned day until you are carrying my baby.”

  A fire blazes in her eyes like I have never seen before. With a strength I didn’t think she had in her she rolls us over until she is on top of me. Shelly impales her hot cunt on my dick and grinds, taking control. Taking what she wants—me.

  Her hips roll as she rides me hard. She is relentless as she fucks me like I’ve never been fucked before. Her tits bounce as she continues to circle her hips.

  “Is this what you want?” Her sweet snatch grinds down on me. “Is this what you like, Boogeyman?” I still beneath her as I feel her walls clench and squeeze around me as she gets off. Her body trembles as her orgasm rocks through her. Fucking beautiful is the only way I can describe the view but fuck me twice she just called me Boogeyman.

  She attempts to push off me but I’m not letting her go. I wrap my arms around her as though they are a steel fucking cage.

  “You remember?”

  Her eyes narrow on me. “Every-fucking-thing. I know what you did to me.” Hot angry tears pour down her face and drop onto my chest searing my skin. “I want to hate you. I want to hate you so fucking bad, but...I love Charlie and you’re one in the same.”

  “You love me?” I grin, pride swelling in my chest.

  “I wish I didn’t,” her voice cracks as I hug her to my sweaty, dirty body.

  “I promise to make it up to you.”

  “You better stop with your moody bullshit if you expect me to stay.”

  “Like I would ever let you fuckin’ leave.” I thrust up and a rock digs in my ass. “Let’s finish this discussion inside.”

  Chapter Twenty-five

  —Shelly—

  I must be fucking crazy. There must be something bad wrong with me because I can’t deny the pull I feel to this man. Charlie—Boogeyman...I love him...all of him. The dark and the ugly...those go along with the sweet and funny. Those parts all make him who he is—the man that I love. The man I want to be with. The man I will do anything to be with. I know if I told anyone our story they wouldn't understand. How could they? We have a mad crazy stupid fucking love but it’s ours.