by Marie Wathen
“I could never do that. Being in the spotlight is not my style.” I admit that while the spotlight is not for me, being on stage playing drums behind the band is where I am the most comfortable and where my heart lies.
“Nor mine, but being in another city, far away from anyone who knows you, it’s like the braver side just kind of comes out. Well, it did for me anyway. Also while I was living in the city, I discovered that I love food trucks.” Her eyes light up as she continues. “There was one that only served grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh, I was in heaven, sampling about seventeen different varieties until I decided that the cheddar, turkey and tomato on oatmeal bread are my absolute favorite combination.”
“You like grilled cheese sandwiches too?”
Breesan giggles, “Yeah, they are one of my favorite foods. I'm guessing you partake in the fine dining experience of these delicacies too?”
“Oh yes baby, it's one of my culinary specialties.” I jest enthusiastically, knowing anyone can make them.
“Hmm, we'll just have to see how skilled you are one day. Breakfast for dinner is one of my favorites so maybe you can make them for me and I'll make chocolate pecan waffles. That’s one of my favorite memories I have of my dad,” She says softly. “I couldn’t search for him before, but now I have to find him, Marcus.” I nod, understanding her longing to have her father returned.
Distracted by the feel of Breesan’s soft skin my hand idly slides up her calf and my thumb brushes across the tiny scar on her knee. My body automatically seeks hers as if it is a missing link and I can’t get enough. She wraps her tiny hand around mine, lifts it to her lips and places a soft kiss to my palm, heating my body instantly.
“I love when you touch me,” Breesan breathes softly. She blushes then places my hand back on her leg.
“A few summers ago I was in the Bahamas studying to be a life guard. I had the best tan of my life. This summer I was going to work on duplicating that shade, but plans change huh? Yeah, don't answer that.” She looks away, moisture pooling in her eyes and she remains quiet for a few minutes. “So another year I went to an academic camp in Oregon. Let me say, writing essays every day for three months, just wow, but math is so not my forte. I wanted to gouge my eyes out with an ice pick every day.” She laughs and the twinkle returns to her beautiful gray eyes again. “Then when I was six I attended different church camps for four summers. All of the activities were great and I was never bored, but before I set out for each new adventure I dreaded leaving Willow. Deep down I'm just a homebody, but getting away from Julia encouraged me to go.”
“Wow, you really did stay busy.”
We stare into each other’s eyes, locked in a sweet gaze. The forgotten television plays softly in the background, but all of our focus is only on being together. For this brief moment in time, neither of us have concerns of bad things or evil stepmothers pushing her away. For now it is only us, and this blissful moment of getting to know each other.
Breesan sighs, “It's kind of sad that we missed each other all of those summers. Who knows what would have happened if we met before though.” She whispers shyly, her cheeks blush as I stare into deep gray eyes, completely mesmerized, and totally lost in her.
“Come here.” I say, scooping her into my arms and securing her tightly against me. “This is going to sound lame as hell, but I have to admit that even though we just met, I missed you Breesan. I never want to experience another summer without you.” I whisper against her silky neck, hoping the intensity of my true feelings doesn't scare her.
I want to believe that life will be perfect as long as I have her. Whatever pride I had before where women were concerned is obsolete now. I'll give up everything for this happiness with her. Breesan wiggles down and tucks her face into the crook of my neck, sending an electric charge through my body. An overwhelming urge to tell her how much she means to me clenches my heart. I pray that one day I will be able to do more than tell her, I want to show her how much I love her.
I kiss the top of her head, and we stay in our embrace until I notice that the rise and fall of her chest slows. Carrying my sleeping beauty upstairs, I lay her on our bed and drape the cover over her. I strip off my tee-shirt and slide in behind her. All I can think about is the desire I have to enjoy nights like this one for the rest of my life. A huge grin splits my face as I close my eyes and await dreams of a life filled with Breesan Maxwell.
“Sleep well, my love,” I say softly. A sleepy whimper escapes her lightly parted lips as I press an open-mouth kiss against her neck.
Chapter Seventeen
Marcus
Waking early hearing soft whimpers, I instinctively tighten my arms snaking around the soft body lying in front of me. Before opening my eyes my mind informs me that my sweet love Breesan is having a bad dream. Opening my eyes, I lift my head and peer down at her face etched with fear, noticing a tear pooling in the corner of her eye.
“…Anna…please, no, don’t hurt her…” she whimpers in her sleep. “…dad…, please, let me go…”
I freeze, feeling my heart hammering erratically from her broken words, and processing her sad pleas. Are these memories of the loss she recently experienced or can they be hopes for the future she expects? I softly croon words of love and reassurance that I'm here with her. Her body stiffens. Rolling around in my arms, she faces me and runs a hand up my arm. Unable to wait another moment, I pull her in for a kiss, but she stops me covering her hand over her mouth.
“Don't ever deny me access to these sweet lips. My very essence depends on the feel of them against mine.” I stroke the tip of my nose over hers loving the way her eyelids grow wide at my admission. “So kiss me like you're happy to see my ugly mug when you first wake up.” She smiles, takes my face in her hands and gently touches her tender lips to mine once then pulls away. I stick out my bottom lip, pouting when she doesn't open for me.
Shaking her head no, Breesan says, “More after I brush. I promise.”
Slipping out of the bed, she smiles at me as she glances back over her shoulder. Leaving the bathroom door open, she quickly begins freshening up. After a few moments I decide to join her in the small bathroom. We brush together staring directly and deeply into each other's eyes. God I want this every day that I’m alive.
Is she picturing a future of mornings similar to this one like I am? She lifts an eyebrow at me, smirks and then rinses her mouth. Patiently waiting for me to finish, she pushes me back out the door and closes the door behind her, locking me out. Climbing back under the covers I wait for her to return to my arms and wonder if I should mention that she was talking in her sleep. A little while later she comes out of the bathroom and without hesitation wiggles back into my arms.
“Despite what you think I find waking up in your arms heavenly. And this mug,” She grasps my face in one hand, squeezing just enough to make my lips poke out, “is one of the most handsome I've ever seen.”
I smile like an idiot. “Is it now?” I ask after kissing her with my lips still puckered in her grasp.
“Mm hmm, you have the most mesmerizing green eyes.” She says, releasing the hold she has on my face. Her cheeks redden from her confession and she begins stammering with a recovery explanation. “Oh, but I'm sure you've been told that before. Like probably a million times.”
“Not once,” I say. “Until today, only you have used the word mesmerizing while describing me.”
“Wow that really is…surprising,” she says with a shocked expression. “You are so…so handsome, and for none of your girlfriends to tell you how it feels, like your eyes hypnotize and cherish them, then they must have been total divas.”
Laughter bubbles up from deep within my throat. “No not even close. I told you I don't do girlfriends.” I smile at the color darkening on her cheeks. “Honestly, including you I've only had two girlfriends.”
She scoffs, “Right.” Arching an eyebrow, she adds, “You know an awful lot about me, and except for your jobs, I know so little about you. A
re you ever going to share with me, or will Marcus Walker remain a mystery?”
I shrug, “Other than my jobs, there really isn’t much to tell. Helping others is my passion. I guess you would say I'm a protector by nature.” And I’m passionate about protecting you. “Ever since I was a child I fought for the underdog and feel compelled to make things better. My childhood was abnormal, but whose wasn't?” She nods, acknowledging her own dysfunctional family. “I liked living in England, but I always wanted to come back home. For years I begged my parents to move us back, but they claimed we needed to live closer to the European offices. They traveled most of the time leaving us with a governess, so it didn't make sense to me why they felt me, Morgan and Sam needed to be in England.”
Feeling a pang of heartache with these memories I stall and stare at Breesan, seeing the desire for me to continue billowing through her silvery tinted eyes. I don’t think now is the best time to tell her all of my family bullshit so I change to a lighter topic.
“Hey do you know when the first time was that I heard the name Breesan Maxwell?” Her eyes widen significantly and she shakes her head while her gaze bores heavier into mine. “Don't look so shocked. Of course I heard a little about you.” I say, smiling and she relaxes a little while I explain.
“When I was visiting one summer I had gotten my driver's license the winter before. According to Anna, the cool thing to do was hang out at the skating rink. She was still a few years away from driving so she convinced me to chauffer her and Tristan. A girl that I had… um, met the year before spotted me,” I stammer, accidentally hinting about a hook up. “She was uh... happy to see me and I wasn't too upset with running into her either.” I smirk and she rolls her eyes playfully. “Until she started gossiping about everyone, and before I knew it I had zoned out, but then she said your name...”
Breesan’s forehead crinkles while she rises up to prop on her elbow. “Ohgod,” Gritting her teeth, she begs, “Who was she, and what in the hell did she tell you?”
“I can't remember her name. She was asking about my summer plans, and I jokingly explained my new role of driving Ms. Anna.” Breesan smiles at my dumb joke. “At that point she shifted the subject and began telling me how delusional Anna was, but I was clueless. I mean, yeah, Anna can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she’s one of the sanest people I know. I thought this girl was kidding, but then she explained herself. She said that Anna was desperately holding onto a one-sided relationship with you.” I pause, realizing too late that what I’m telling her is cruel.
“Please finish,” she whispers, her sad eyes staring intently into mine.
“Are you sure?” I ask and she nods.
“She told me that Anna claimed you as her best friend. I know I looked stunned when she said this because she was extremely dramatic in affirming that I had heard right. She insisted that you didn't have any friends and… that Anna was out of her mind for thinking it.” I pause a moment. “I racked my brain trying to remember you. Except for a faint memory of your name being mentioned I couldn’t place you. Later that evening, after I dropped Anna off at home, I asked Tristan more about you. He confirmed what the girl told me.” Breesan gasps. Hearing the stupid word rolls out of my mouth, I pause watching a pained look move across her face. “I'm sorry baby. I shouldn't have said anything.” I say, stroking my fingers over her arm.
“No,” She exhales loudly. “It's all true. God, I was such a shitty friend to Anna. How did she put up with me? Now she's gone and I only just told her how much she means to me.”
I pull Breesan tightly against my chest, wishing I could erase the past ten minutes. A heavy pain clamps around my heart hearing her sniffle. I feel like a total ass bringing up Anna and Tristan while she blames herself for everything that has happened to them. Feeling the urgency to redirect her thoughts, I decide that it is confession time.
Reaching for her hand, I distract myself from the pain of my history while staring at our interlaced fingers. I swallow hard as I hammer down my insecurities about revealing secrets.
“When I was six we moved to England. I hated moving. I was miserable, but my parents were adamant that our family was leaving Willow. I begged them to let me live with my grandparents, but nothing I did or said stopped the move across the ocean.” I pause, willing the hurt to remain buried while I dig up the memories. “My mood stayed sullen for a very long time. Willow was a magical place for a kid that age, but there was more to it than just some childish fantasies; I felt like I had left behind the best part of my life. Growing up with Tristan and Morgan here truly was awesome.” I smile, catching her mood softening before I continue.
“Before coming home for the summer of freshman year in college, I overheard my folks in a heated argument. Their fights were not exactly unusual because they argued all the time, and they never hid their harsh words from us.” I remember that day like it just happened, and the memory floods me with heavy emotions. “There was something in their tone that stopped me in place as I passed my dad's office this one afternoon. Barret was drinking and my mother was crying. I distinctly heard her begging for his forgiveness followed by her telling him “for the millionth time, if I could change everything I would rewrite history.” I stood there frozen wondering what she could be talking about. She continued by saying that she would go back to the night Sam was conceived, and…” My words catch in my throat before I can finish telling her the rest.
“Hey,” she whispers, sweeping her hand up my arm and holding it tightly.
I let out a ragged breath and say, “My mother said that she would not have had sex, insinuating she didn’t want Sam. For an instant I thought that my dad's hatred toward Sam was because she was an unplanned pregnancy that trapped him into an unwanted marriage, but I was wrong. Before my mind could fully accept that possibility, my mother's next words sent a jolt right through me.”
I notice Breesan stiffen in my arms and I can feel her gaze on me, but the somber emotions rolling through me prevent me from acknowledging it. I stare up at the ceiling and push through telling her the rest of my story.
“My mother yelled at him that Sam was his daughter no matter what the paternity test results revealed.” My heart hammers against my rib cage and I swallow back the tears burning. Breesan's trembling hand on my chest begins drawing slow, soothing circles while she remains quiet.
“Damn what a mess that day was.” I exhale. “After hearing those words, I just stood there. Denial was my first thought. I just kept thinking I misunderstood my mother, but then after only another minute my father’s raised voice snapped me out of the trance. He had opened the door and discovered me standing on the other side. The look of hatred that he pierced me with was unnerving. I didn't say anything, I couldn’t. I didn’t need to either because he knew that I had heard every word.” Keeping my head tilted back, I turn to the side and face Breesan.
“He threw his whiskey glass across the hallway, nearly hitting me and then stormed off. My mother quickly ran after him, but stopped as she passed me and told me that she would never forgive me if I ever spoke of it. My stomach rolled at the thought of how much shit my father had put my sister through since we left Willow. He had always made her feel like she wasn't good enough. At that moment I knew that this secret had been what his problem was all those years. We didn’t move to England for the family business. We left Willow because he couldn't bare the embarrassment my mother brought to our family by having a child to another man, but was passing her off as a Walker.”
Reaching a shaky hand to my face, Breesan caresses my cheek compassionately and through this touch, she gives me the kindest sympathy I have ever received.
I kiss her palm softly and say, “It's fucked up, I know. As time went along my mother's attitude grew just as bitter toward me as Barret’s. She couldn’t face me because I knew the truth. Eventually, they turned against me completely, like I was the guilty person. I don't give a damn what they think of me, but Sam is the kindest person I know. Don't get me w
rong she is a total bad-ass when it comes to the job, but her heart is completely full of love. In my opinion, my big sister is and will always be an angel.” Breesan smiles sweetly at my unwavering feelings for Sam.
“I could never tell Sam that the reason our father was so cruel to her, and then later cruel to me was because she wasn’t his child. She would feel horrible about what it did to the relationship between me and them.” A protective growl builds deep in my chest. “I won't have her blaming herself. Barret Walker has unfairly blamed her enough.”
“Mygod Marcus,” Breesan says, complete and utter disgust dripping from her words. “That is the most sickening thing I have ever heard a parent do, and you know that I have Julia in my life.” Shifting around to lie back, she looks up at the ceiling and sighs, “Poor Sam.”
She remains silent for another moment allowing me time to settle the anger that began to rise. “Marcus, there is nothing I can say except that I'm sorry you went through all of that alone.”
Her kindness touches my soul deeply. “Baby, you don't have to say anything. My father has only had one thing on his mind all of his life. It isn’t his children, or anyone in our family. Truthfully, no one matters to him. The only thing that he loves is Walker Corporation, and I’m certain that it isn’t because he wants to leave a legacy for his children. Barret Walker is a greedy bastard that cares only for his image and making more money.”
“Damn,” she whispers.
“The next summer in Willow I started drinking, partying and I got into several fights. While partying on the beach one night I met Raithe in one of those fights. We were fighting on the same side and afterward became good friends. Raithe never pressed to know why I was rebelling and raising hell, but whenever I went out he tagged along, like my shadow. I’m grateful too. If he hadn't been there for me I probably would have ended up in jail.”
I think back to that summer and realize how much shit Raithe tolerated keeping my ass safe. All this time I thought it was me that saved him when I joined in to help him beat the hell out of some surfers who were screwing his girlfriend. Breesan rakes her tiny hand over my head, lightly tugging on my hair, pulling me out of the old memories.