“Miss Nichols?” I glanced back at her questioning eyes. “Here’s a pen.”
I took the pen from her hand with a nod. And, almost as if I were watching myself from across the room, I positioned it over the paper and pressed it down, trying to be strong. Willing my hand to move in the smooth arch and squiggle of my signature.
I heard a commotion in the hall, and Robyn’s door burst open. Conall rushed in, looking a bit dazed.
“Wait,” he interrupted, “something has changed.” His dark eyes were watching me closely, studying with warmth and concern. “Stop, Sage. I’m not going to sign this.”
“Why?” I asked, bracing myself for the discussion that was to follow. Tears clouded my eyes as the quivering fear in me began to grow. “What’s changed?”
“My circumstances are vastly different,” he began. “This whole thing, it’s not right. Not now.”
Conall
I turned to Robyn. “This plan won’t work anymore,” I said emphatically, pushing the stack of papers back towards her. Turning to Sage, I sat in the chair beside her and turned her chair to face me. “I don’t want to scare you,” I began. “I don’t want to freak you out. But what I’m about to suggest might do that.”
“Conall—” Sage started, but I ignored her protest and kept talking.
“Just hear me out. I haven’t really been a fan of this parenting plan for a while. Ever, really.”
“Mr. McAllister,” Robyn interjected with her brows drawn together. The woman was rather intimidating with her dark-rimmed glasses and no make-up and severe hairstyle. “I can guarantee that, if this went to court, you would be responsible for a great deal more. Ms. Nichols has been extraordinarily lenient in her demands.”
“That’s just it,” I frowned at the mediator. “She’s been far too lenient. And, quite frankly, I’ve gone along with it because it’s been kind of nice not to fight with her for once. More than kind of nice, actually.” I glanced back over at Sage who sort of looked like she was waiting for the sky to fall. “But then all this shit with Jacob happened, and I’ve barely seen you these past few days. And I wasn’t sure how to talk to you about this because I figured it would freak you out.”
“So we write up a new agreement,” Sage began. “Things have changed, and you have even less reason now—"
“Fuck that. These agreements,” I growled, jabbing my fingers down on the stack of paperwork, “are crap. Just fucking pieces of paper that tell me when you get her and when I get her and who pays her doctor bills and who can pick her up from school. I have hated this idea since its inception. I was going to do this for you. But, Sage, I can’t agree to this anymore. I want to be… we. We get her. We pay her doctor bills. We pick her up from school. You and me, together.”
“But we aren’t we,” Sage whispered painfully.
“Why can’t we be?” I retorted.
“Conall…” Sage’s voice shook. Her shoulders trembled. Her teeth caught her lip. Her eyes filled with tears. “You’re not making any sense.”
“Mr. McAllister,” Robyn tried again, “you don’t want this to turn into a legal battle. Think about your daughter. About Sage. About yourself.”
“That’s exactly who I am thinking of,” I growled at the stern-looking mediator.
Robyn glared right back at me. “Do you think that things will really be better for you financially if you fight this?”
“That’s not why I’m fighting this,” I replied and looked back to Sage. “If we’re together, what’s to mediate?”
Sage looked totally bewildered. “Together?”
“All three of us under one roof,” I said with a firm nod. “I was going to see about moving in with you and Mattie.”
Suddenly, her face twisted in confusion. Her brows drew together and she tilted her head a little, as if she couldn’t quite wrap her brain around what I was saying. Or trying to say. Very, very badly, apparently.
“You want to move in with us?” Sage asked as she shook her head slowly from side to side incredulously.
“I did. Past tense.”
“So you don’t want to live with us now?”
“I want to live with you more than anything in the world,” I tried to explain. “I want you to move out to the ranch with me.”
Sage’s eyes suddenly became wide as saucers, and her mouth fell open. “What?” she squeaked. “Conall… Have you lost your mind? Jacob’s kids are selling the ranch. You won’t even be living there.”
“I just met with their lawyers about the estate, Sage. He left me the cabin.”
Sage
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
“The cabin,” Conall continued, “and a little over fourteen-hundred acres. It’s like a quarter of the ranch.”
Actually, I don’t think the feather would have even been necessary. Maybe a purr from Mattie’s kitten. Or the faint tickle of air from a hummingbird’s wings.
“But the Army…” I whispered with a hoarse and timid voice.
Conall narrowed his eyes at me. “The Army? What about the Army.”
“You’re leaving,” I continued. “At the hospital, you were talking to David… about the ranch and your plans. You said,” my voice caught and I swallowed hard, “you said you had a plan B.”
“And you thought that meant I was leaving?” he asked, shaking his head in wonder. “Sage, I think I’ve been pretty clear that I’m sticking around this time.”
“Yeah, you’ve told me that over and over. But then I saw the letter, Conall, in your truck the other night. The letter telling you how to re-enlist.”
“And you thought I was going back into the Army?”
“Well, yeah. You are losing your job, your home. I thought that was your plan B.”
“Sage,” he said slowly, quietly… focusing all his attention on me in a way that made me feel all warm and gooey inside, “you were my plan B.”
Oh.
My.
God.
I was the plan B.
He continued on, gifting my shocked expression with a warm, tender smile. “I didn’t tell you about the letter because I never, even for a second, thought about it. You and Mattie are the most important things in the world to me. I’ve lost five years of you. And all of Mattie’s life. I. Can’t. Leave.”
My breath started to come in breathless rushes, my heartbeat fluttered up through my chest, down my arms through my fingertips, spreading through my whole body. I couldn’t talk as my eyes burned with the threat of tears.
“Sage… I love you. I’ve loved you as long as I can remember. I know I haven’t always shown it well, and I fucked up royally when I left. But I want you and Mattie with me. Together. All three of us. And I think you really want that, too.”
“Um, excuse me,” Robyn cut in. “I’m not sure this is really wise.”
I looked over at her. “You’re going to get paid for your time anyway, so just don’t.”
Her jaw snapped shut indignantly, and for a moment she just stared at me before turning back to Sage. “Miss Nichols, I really—”
“You and me and Mattie?” Sage whispered, and I nodded hopefully. “But Conall, what if we do this and we start fighting. That’s not good for her. What if—”
I pressed two fingers over her lips, instantly quieting her. “Honey, every fight we seem to have is about whether or not we’re going to be together. I’m not saying we’ll never disagree, but don’t you think it is important to show Mattie that we can disagree, but stay together? That we can fight fairly and still love each other? That you don’t throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble?”
She swallowed hard and looked down at her hands. A tremble coursed through her body as I placed my fingers under her chin, tipping her face back up to mine. Her eyes had filled with tears, and her trembling lip was caught in her teeth.
“I should have never left in the first place,” I said. “There aren’t any guarantees, and nothing I can say will make that nagging fear insi
de you really go away. No matter how many time I promise you, and I do, that I will never ever leave you again. All I can do is show you, every day, how much I love you, Sage.”
My mind whirled as I watched her. I couldn’t breathe. The thought of her, every night and every morning. Of Mattie having the family she really truly wanted.
“Okay,” she finally breathed.
For a second, I almost thought I was going to faint.
Damn, how manly would that have been?
But, honestly, I swear I saw stars for a second. My breath left me in a powerful rush, and a shot of adrenaline ripped through me, leaving me feeling weak and dizzy in its wake.
“Okay?” I rasped.
Sage nodded almost imperceptibly. “Yeah, okay.”
With a rush, I stood, pulling Sage to stand with me. I clasped her cheeks in my hands and lifted her lips up for my kiss, sweetly thanking her for taking the leap. The first touch of her lips set fire to my soul. Everything about the kiss was completely inappropriate in this stuffy office setting, but, fuck it. I enveloped her with my body and kissed her hard and thoroughly. As I slowly pulled away, her eyelashes fluttered and her tongue grazed her tender lips. As she slowly emerged from her dreamlike state, she ran her fingertip along my jaw and gifted me with a beautiful, tremulous smile.
Grinning back at her, I quickly glanced down at the paperwork on the table, then back over to Robyn who’s features had softened some. A faint hint of bemusement lit her eyes.
“Okay,” I said a bit dazedly, then looked back down at Sage. “Let’s go get Mattie and get you guys moved.”
Chapter 23 ~ I Wish
Sage
The first thing I felt was Conall’s fingertips brush lightly down my ribs and the heat of his hard, muscled body pressed against my back. Then his hot mouth as he kissed my neck and the broad head of his cock push inside me.
My hand rose to catch his as it glided down to clutch my hip. My moan was swallowed up by the pillow. Our fingers intertwined and he slowly stroked in and out from behind.
“I wish I had known,” he murmured in my ear. “I wish I had been able to see you, swollen with my child. Watched your body change, knowing that it was all us.”
“Con…” I breathed shakily. Barely awake, the sensation of his body moving in and around mine made me tremble, but the words he said made my soul ache.
“I want that, Sage.” His voice rumbled with a fierce need. “I want another chance.”
Oh God, so did I.
“I wish you weren’t on the pill right now. I wish I could knock you up again when I spill inside you.” He sucked hard at my neck, down at the base just shy of the nape. “I’ve loved you for so long, baby.”
My body began to shake as my orgasm approached. And still he fucked me, intermittently slowing to draw out the fabulous need. I subconsciously tightened against him every time he slid back, begging to keep him.
Conall shifted us again, pulling my top leg up and over to his side. My shoulders rested flat against the pillows and my eyes opened to see him above me, still kneeling and upright, looking down at me. His heavy, strong hands slid under and cupped my ass, pulling me up to his beautiful cock. His gaze focused on our connection as he pushed back into my wet depths with a rough groan. Watching the play of muscles across his shoulders, the fabulous ripple of the tats down his arm, the delicious tightening of his abdominals as he pulled me towards him and thrust against me.
It was the fucking hottest thing I’d ever seen in my life.
Then his eyes rose up to mine, and he pulled his hand up, resting it lightly over my flat stomach. His haunted expression shredded my heart as his fingers feathered across my sensitive skin. “Fuck, I wish I’d known,” he whispered again, frozen with the exception of his fingers that danced lightly on my skin. His jaw clenched, his eyes pierced mine, lost in the emotion of the moment.
My breathing shallowed and tears stung my eyes. My hands reached down to his, spreading over his fingertips and holding them against my abdomen. Then I smoothly rocked my hips, circling them slightly to maximize the glide of him inside me.
“Someday,” I promised him.
Conall’s eyes shut tightly and his jaw clenched again. Then he opened them to look down at our hands, at our intimate joining. His hips pressed into mine, pushing him deeper and drawing a gasp from my throat.
Slowly, it began to build inside me, and the burgeoning intensity pulled at my heart. The deliciously slow, deliberate movements became frenzied and fierce, and my body arched completely off the bed. With my head on the pillows, the rest of me seemed to float, impaled by Conall’s hard length and held aloft by his strong hands.
Just as the tremors began to overtake me, he pushed me back down to the bed and fell over the top of me, still connected as he continued to pound into me. His thick arms cradled my body against him, and my legs curled around his hips as my fingernails dug into the skin of his shoulders. And suddenly the hot wash of his release rushed through me, setting off my own. I fell apart around him, with a muffled cry against his chest.
Conall
My movements slowed, almost stopping, but occasionally I couldn’t help from pushing back into her with a short, gentle stroke. This was followed by every muscle of Sage’s pussy tightening around me. Which was followed by my arms tightening around her. And another gentle stroke. My lips trailed over her forehead, inhaling the fresh scent of her hair that had become even more pronounced from our exertion. Her clutching fingertips started to relax as her body calmed into a post-orgasmic state.
Knowing she could barely breathe with my weight compressing her lungs, I shifted slightly, losing that intimate contact with her. I lay on my side and traced her jawline. Sage’s eye fluttered open, and she softly smiled before she nuzzled her face into my chest.
I couldn’t seem to get enough. Ever. It had been a month or so that she’d been out on the ranch with me, since we’d packed up everything from her and Mattie’s apartment and made this thing between us official. In that time, I’d had her in every way, shape, and form. Lying here with her, still reeling from the heaven of her touch, I wanted her more than ever.
Because she still wasn’t totally mine. Not yet.
But she would be.
“So,” I said with all seriousness, “you’re gonna marry me, right?”
Sage pulled back and lifted her gaze to meet mine. Exhausted and sated… and a little bit surprised.
“Are you… proposing?”
“Not very well, I don’t think, but… yeah.” I laughed lightly, then forced the amusement from my voice. Because I meant every word. “We kinda did things backwards, but I fucking love you, Sage. I don’t ever want to be without you. You and Mattie…” I grinned down at her, “and all her little brothers and sisters.”
“All?” Sage smiled, her sapphire-blue eyes growing wide. “Just how many are you thinking?”
“A whole bunch,” I grinned back as her mouth gaped.
“I think you need to spend a lot more time with Mattie so you can make a more informed decision. Those little buggers are a lot of work. Even more so when they’re tiny.”
“Okay, we’ll compromise. How about we start with one and see how it goes?”
“Conall,” she whispered hesitantly, “we are just now kind of finally getting our own shit straight. We might want to avoid rocking the boat for a while. Maybe wait a bit before starting this whole baby-making thing.”
“Fine, we’ll start the baby-making after you marry me then.” There was a flicker of relief in her eyes. I gathered her closer, holding her tight. “So, let’s pick a date.”
“You know,” Sage’s lips tilted in a sarcastic grin as she giggled lightly, “it’s usually the chick pushing for marriage and kids. You going soft on me?”
I kissed her hard, possessing her mouth, stealing her breath, and enveloping her body with mine. I’d just had her, and I already wanted to be inside her again. My dick was already pulsing and hard. Nudging my way between
her sexy, silky thighs, I rose above her and caught her gasp as I slid inside her once again.
“Far from soft, baby,” I groaned into her mouth, swallowing her low moaned response. I performed a long, slow stroke through her silken depths, then I paused, cradling her beneath me and catching her face in the palm of my hand. “Sage,” I whispered against her lips, “a date. Give me a date.”
“How about we discuss this later?” she breathed, and I stopped. Frozen, doing my best to ignore every little squeezing and tightening sensation while she squirmed below me. I released her jaw and slid my hand down to her hips to keep her from moving.
Fuck…torture, pure and simple. The wet heat of her delectable little pussy clenched tightly.
“Give me a date, Sage,” I growled, “or I might have to cut you off from sex.”
“Why punish yourself?” she gasped, still straining against my hold and killing me with every quiver.
“A date,” I repeated. My thumb slid across her hip bone to lightly tease her swollen clit. A deep moan erupted from her throat as I increased the pressure. I felt her body contract around me, nearing the beauty of her release.
And then I stopped.
“Con…” she gasped. “Please…”
“Give me a date,” I demanded in a hoarse, brusque tone. She was going to kill me off if she didn’t give me an answer soon. My cock throbbed with the need to move inside her.
“April…”
“Too far away,” I cut her off, kissing her ravenously. With my lips still brushing hers, I whispered into her mouth, giving her clit another flick of my thumb as I pushed into her with a long, slow thrust. “I don’t want to wait that long.”
“Con,” she gasped, clawing at me with her trembling fingers. Her hips strained against my hand, trying desperately to move against me, to reach her blissful release. But I held her firmly, determined to get what I wanted.
“Christmas, Sage,” I breathed against her lips. “I want you for Christmas. Say yes, and I’ll let you come.”
Always Conall (Bitterroot #2) Page 21