Fallout

by Lila Rose

  I smirked. “Don’t want. Got. She’s mine.”

  “Won’t be for long. I’ll take her, make her mine again, just like I’ve had her.”

  Muff snorted. “You’re seriously not too bright. You’re outnumbered, dickhead.”

  I saw it. The way he flinched, as if he were about to move. He was gonna use that knife he held. His eyes hadn’t left me, even as Muff spoke. I knew I would be his target. Though, I wasn’t the only one who saw it.

  As Python lifted the knife and threw it my way, Gamer came at me, taking me to the ground. Muff fired off a shot, but it was Alvin who pulled another knife from somewhere and hurled it at Python, slicing his blade straight into his throat. Alvin followed the knife, gripped it and held it there. They both went to the ground, to their knees, and then Alvin laid Python to the floor. The life in Python’s eyes leaked out as he weakly gripped Alvin’s wrists.

  Alvin spoke. “I messed up. Fucked my family over. Gotta make it right before I disappear. Heard what’s been going down, and you had to die by my hand. Want you to know my sister will live on, and she’ll be doin’ it happy. She’ll do it with a guy she’s loved her whole life. You’ll be nothing to her. You’ve always been nothing to her.”

  Fuck me.

  Python gurgled something out as his back hit the ground. Alvin smiled and shook his head. “You fool. She’ll never remember you because she’ll be too happy to remember.”

  Silence.

  Nothing but air.

  Alvin straightened, letting go of the knife. He turned to Dodge as Gamer and I got to our feet. “Didn’t expect you lot here.” He grinned.

  “We had plans for that motherfucker, kid,” Dodge barked.

  Alvin shrugged. “So did I.”

  “He made our club bleed.”

  “He tormented my sister,” Alvin fired back.

  Muff scoffed. “So did you.”

  Alvin rolled his eyes. “I’m her brother. I had the right to.”

  “Just what in the fuck are you doin’ here, Alvin, and why?” I demanded.

  His jaw clenched, seriousness taking over his expression. “Redemption.”

  My body locked.

  “I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Needed to save myself and make up for things before I head out.”

  “Head out?” Vicious asked.

  “Gonna disappear for a while.” His eyes hit mine. “She asked me to help her.”

  “Who?”

  Fuck me. His eyes suddenly filled with tears.

  “Been to see her since gettin’ out. She wanted my help, begged for it. I gave it, but I can’t face them after it.” His bottom lip trembled. Christ, what had he done? “Poppy’s safe. She’ll be happy… eventually. After this pain passes, she’ll be the happiest she’s ever been. You’ll make sure of it, I know. And, with time, Dad will be as well.”

  “Alvin, what are you talking about?”

  He shook his head. “She begged me. It was the least I could do for her, give her, since I’d given her nothing before but heartache. It killed me. Cut me so deep, but I helped her.” His eyes closed, his hands fisting.

  “Alvin?” I pressed.

  His grief-filled eyes came up to meet mine. “Poppy’ll need you right now. You have to go to her.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I helped Mum end her life.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Poppy

  I stood up the front with my dad on one side, my hand in his, and Jerimiah on the other, his arm around my waist. The funeral minister had just said his final words, and they were lowing Mum’s coffin into the ground.

  Lowering her into her final resting place.

  She was gone.

  My mum was gone.

  The sun was shining down on us as we listened to her final song. I couldn’t understand how the day could be bright and warm, when it should have been weeping like I was. It should have been cloudy and dull, like I felt.

  My brother hadn’t shown, but I didn’t expect him to.

  It was only days ago I found out he had a hand in helping Mum get the medicine she needed to overdose. I understood why Jerimiah had been reluctant to tell me, since when Charlie and Jerimiah had sat me down, I’d lost it. I’d wanted to find Alvin and kill him. I even tried to get out of the house to seek him out. Jerimiah and Dad eventually calmed me down enough to make me understand. Jerimiah had explained how Alvin, even though it had wrecked him, did what Mum asked because he hated the pain she lived in knowing she was hurting us. Only it wasn’t her hurting us. It was her disease.

  At first, it was hard to understand her reasoning, but then I had to put myself in her position. I wouldn’t want my family to go through the anguish we felt when Mum had been lost in her mind to us. What also helped was when I read her note the night before her funeral.

  I’d been putting it off, knowing it was going to hurt reading it, seeing her words.

  Jerimiah, who hadn’t left my side since I’d found out about Mum, sat beside me on my bed when I pulled the letter from my drawer and said it was time. Actually, I wasn’t just sitting beside Jerimiah; he commandeered my body by lifting me up and planting my butt between his spread legs. His arms wound around, one at my lower stomach and one at my chest.

  With his kiss to my temple, I opened the letter.

  To my beautiful star,

  I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you over this, Poppy. I know by now you’ve heard I took my life. I need you to grasp why I would do such a thing. On my good days, when you and your father visited, I saw the despair in each of your eyes until you knew I was myself, and then your love shone through.

  When I found my own notes to myself, I knew I was putting my family through hell. It's the despair I can’t bear seeing. I struggle with how my illness brings such pain to the people I love, and even though you’re hurting from it, I know my family, each and every one of you, visit me each and every day because of the love we share for one another.

  This is my last chance to give something to my family, to you, before I lose myself completely.

  I love you, my star. Forever and ever.

  I know you will have a beautiful life with Jerimiah. He’s an amazing soul for my daughter. One who will guide you, protect you, and love you with every breath he takes. Hold tight to him and love him back just as much.

  I know it will be hard, but please forgive your brother one day. He’s given me what I want, and it was after some begging and crying on my part. He was lost. We didn’t realise just how lost he was because… some things have happened to him. I won’t say what. It’s his story, and don’t go searching through my things. I’ve burned that note to myself. But he’s finally found himself, and one day, I hope my family will be together again.

  You, my beautiful, stubborn, wonderful girl, need to live your life to the fullest. Cherish each day, my star. I’ll be watching from above, and I’ll be doing it smiling because I’m already proud of the woman you’ve become.

  I give you so much love, always.

  Mum xx

  Just remembering her note brought fresh tears to my eyes. I let them fall. I wouldn’t hold them back. I’d accepted that feeling her loss was meant to hurt.

  “We therefore commit her body to the ground: earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life,” the minister finished.

  Dropping my hand, Dad stepped forward, picked up some dirt and sprinkled it over Mum’s lowered coffin. Once he was back beside me, I took my turn.

  I watched the dirt leave my hand, scattering to the wood below. “I’ll miss you, Mum.”

  The rest of the day was a daze. Blackie and Roda put together the post-funeral reception at the Venom MC compound in their common area. It was big enough for everyone to attend. I hadn’t realised how many would be there. I didn’t t
ake notice until at the end of the funeral, when I turned and found not only the Venom MC at my back, but the Hawks as well.

  “Honey, you should eat something,” Dad suggested.

  I gave him a sad smile. “So should you, Dad.”

  “Both of you should,” Roda put in, appearing from behind us while Dad and I sat at one of the tables. “So here.” She placed two plates down, piled with all types of food. I met Jerimiah’s stare from across the room, where he stood talking with Blackie, and rolled my eyes. He grinned back.

  “He’s smitten,” Roda commented, pulling up a chair.

  “Just as much as I am with him. I only wish….”

  Roda reached over and placed her hand on mine. I pulled my gaze up from the table to hers. “Baby girl, your momma would be lookin’ down upon you and be ecstatic with the way you two are with each other.”

  “Roda’s right,” Dad said. “The way he keeps track of you would have your ma gushing over it. Proud to have him in the family.”

  “We’re not talking marriage or anything yet.”

  Roda laughed. “You said yet.”

  Dad grinned, then sobered. His jaw clenched, his nostrils flared. “We’ll miss your mum forever and a day, Poppy. But she’d be happy for you, just like I am with havin’ Fang at your side. He’s a good person. Just the right man for my girl.”

  “Dad,” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears.

  “Am I interrupting something?” Leanna, Jerimiah’s mum, asked, standing at the side of the table.

  Dad cleared his throat. “No, please sit.”

  “We were just talking about your son,” Roda supplied.

  “Roda.” I gasped.

  “Pfft. Lee-lee knows how good of a boy she’s got.”

  Leanna smiled. “I do. I also know how good of a woman he’s picked for himself.”

  “Leanna—”

  “Pish-posh.” She waved her hand. “I’m happy for you both, and glad he can be there for you right now. I just wish….”

  Dad surprised me by taking her hand. “Mary knows.” He shook his head. “She knew how much you cared for her. The letters helped her understand everything.”

  Letters?

  After things went down with everyone finding out about Switch and his preference for teens, Leanna distanced herself from the club, even her friends, but Mum had always spoken of Leanna fondly, so I presumed they were still in contact in some way. I just didn’t know it was through letters. Then again, I should have guessed. Mum did love to write; it had always been a hobby of hers.

  My body jolted when Blackie spoke up with a loud, demanding voice. “I’d like to toast to Mary Torian. A beautiful soul, a wonderful woman, and she will be missed by many.”

  “To Mary,” Jerimiah added, his own voice reached out to all.

  Drinks were raised, my own included. I smiled sadly at Dad, and he returned it. And as I sat there surrounded by people who cared, who I classed as family and friends, I realised Mum would have loved the day. She always enjoyed family days at the compound.

  Glancing back over at Jerimiah, who was already looking my way, I thought… no matter where I was, whether it was here at the Venom compound or even at the Hawks compound, as long as I had him with me, it didn’t matter whose family we were surrounded by.

  As long as I had him.

  Chapter Twenty

  Fang

  A few weeks later, when Poppy said she wanted to do something, I suggested a night at Pick’s bar. After all, it was the place we’d had our first kiss, and I was hoping to re-enact it. I wasn’t some sleaze gunning for a piece of my woman’s arse while she was grieving, but it was getting harder and harder to resist starting something since I slept next to her each night. Holding her in my arms, kissing her cheek, her temple, her neck, and a brief peck on her lips. Waking up finding her booty snuggling against my morning wood was like torture.

  Still, there was no way I would force something from her. She wasn’t ready. I’d wait until I knew for sure, until she made the first move and showed me she wanted me for more than comfort. Not that I was complaining. I loved being there for her.

  At first, I’d been worried when I suggested Pick and Billy’s pub, since it was also the place she saw Python. However, she’d put my mind at ease with a smile, and she’d said, “I like that idea. A night to spend with friends, my man, and booze under one roof.”

  She’d meant her new Hawks friends too. Nary, Low, Mena, Lissa, Della, and Josie had taken not only Poppy, but Manda under their wings. Brought them into the pussy posse fold. It had happened a few days after Mary’s funeral when they’d arrived at Poppy’s place and kicked Charlie and me out by stating Poppy needed her girl time.

  Wasn’t sure what they talked about or what they did, but hours later when Poppy had texted it was safe to come back, I did, and it was to a relaxed, happier Poppy. She was getting back to herself. Still, knew there’d be moments her mum’s death would be fresh in her heart and mind. Then I’d be there for her.

  “Where are your thoughts at?” my woman asked after she rejoined me in the booth we’d occupied with some brothers and their old ladies.

  “Thinkin’ about you.” I grinned. Dive stood so she could scoot close to my side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and touched my mouth to just below her ear. She sighed happily.

  “I hope it was good thoughts.”

  “They always are.” I told her the truth.

  “Good.” She smiled, and then, for the first time, she leaned into me and—

  “Yo, Fang. Your turn for a round of beers,” Muff called.

  Fuckin’ shit.

  I’d just about had my woman’s mouth, with her kissing me, and the dick interrupted. By the smirk on his smug face, he knew it too. Manda, who was curled into his side, giggled.

  “Actually, it’s Kalen’s turn,” Mena said. She took her man’s hand and pulled him from the booth. She may have thought I didn’t see it, but I caught the smile she sent Poppy.

  “Come on, handsome. It’s time to get our groove on.” Manda winked at Poppy before she took Muff’s hand and led him out to the dance floor. He was happy to follow. My brother was into Manda in a big way. Poppy confirmed it just the other day that Manda was over-the-moon taken by Muff. It was good to see.

  Turning back to Poppy, I raised my brows, grinning. “I get the feelin’ your girls were helping you clear the booth for some reason.”

  Her lips twitched. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Tucking her hair behind her ear, I asked, “Just what was said in that bathroom trip?”

  “Hmm, a lot of things.”

  My goddamn body jolted when her hand landed on my thigh and rubbed up and down.

  Glancing down, I watched her hand for a moment and then looked back up to find my woman smirking.

  “What type of things exactly?” I questioned. I had to be sure it wasn’t my dick making my mind jump to conclusions. Because right then, it was singing, “Our woman wants a piece of us.”

  “Let’s see. Manda said I should just jump you right here and now. While Mena suggested a more subtle approach, by saying I should just ask to see your room at the compound.”

  I shouldn’t have taken a sip of beer when she spoke. My throat closed over. The beer stuck, and I choked on what was left in my mouth. Brothers around the booth started laughing, while Poppy patted me on my back.

  Clearing my throat, I said, “You… you wanna see my room?”

  Her leg came over mine. She scooted her butt closer and wound her arms around my neck. “Yes, Jerimiah. I want to see your room because I’m ready. You’ve been my rock through everything. My one and only, and I love that you’ve wanted to take care of me. But having you in my bed for the past three weeks without you making a move on me has been torture.”

  I jerked my
head back, surprised. “You’ve wanted me to make a move on you?”

  “If rubbing my butt against you each morning wasn’t enough, then you should have guessed each time I’d tried to take a kiss deeper.”

  “I didn’t want to push you… with, you, ah, your mum….”

  She giggled. Where in the fuck had my man balls gone? Though, I was on the verge of throwing her over my shoulder and running from the room to get back to the compound.

  “Yes, I’ve been grieving, but I’m still a woman.”

  “My woman,” I growled in the back of my throat.

  “Yes.” She nodded, smiling.

  Cupping the side of her face, I used my other hand to slide through her hair and stopped at the back of her head where I gently pulled her forward so our lips just touched. There, while keeping her warmed gaze, I said, “So if my woman wants her man, I won’t say no. But I do want you to know I fuckin’ love you.”

  Tears swam in her eyes. “Love you, my Miah.”

  Closing my eyes, I just felt it. Felt her words. And it was something goddamn amazing the way her words heated me all over. Groaning against her lips, I pushed my mouth against hers. She moaned in response, her mouth parting enough for me to guide my tongue to just past her lips. Poppy opened her mouth wider, her hands gripping my cut and tugging me closer still. Our tongues touched, tasted, and then danced against one another.

  My heart beat in ecstasy. I shifted my hand from her cheek down her shoulder, arm, and then under, to her waist, holding tight.

  Catcalls and wolf whistles surrounded us, and reluctantly, I pulled back, but not before another quick peck, quick taste, of my woman.

  A throat cleared behind me, from the booth next to ours. “If I didn’t like Beast’s cock so much, that kiss would’a turned me on.”

  Poppy laughed, burying her head in the crook of my neck and shoulder. Looking over my shoulder, I glared, but it wasn’t a full one.

  “In fact, I’m sure a lot of the brothers will leave soon wanting a piece from their woman… or man.” Knife glanced at a grinning Beast. “Babe, I’m ready to go. You?”