Bennett cast a look toward Harper, and she wasn’t sure whether to give him a red or green light.
“Uh, sure. I guess,” he finally said. “Let’s see … you know your dad grew up on a farm in Georgia.”
Ben nodded. “I go two weeks every summer to stay with my grandpa and grandma. I’ve driven a tractor.”
“One of our instructors gave your daddy the nickname Peaches.”
“Why?”
Bennett pursed his lips before smiling and saying, “Because he was so sweet. Problem was he hated being called Peaches and one day he got fed up with one of the guys named Hollis in our room who wouldn’t lay off.”
“What’d he do?” Ben was rapt.
“Growing up on a farm, you get used to lots of animals, right? Even snakes.”
Ben gasped.
Bennett’s voice took on the cadence of a master storyteller, his drawl more pronounced than usual. “Your daddy went out and caught a black rat snake. It was a baby. Not more than two feet long and no bigger round than my thumb. But this guy Hollis was a city boy. Well now, your daddy slipped that snake under Hollis’s pillow where it coiled up, cozy as you please. That night when we bedded down for the night, everything was quiet for about five minutes.”
Drama built in the pause. Ben shifted on his chair. “Then what happened?”
“Hollis jumped up and screamed like he was born to sing soprano in the church choir. Half the men came running, including the instructor in charge. Everyone knew your daddy had done it and I thought for sure he was going to get busted, but he put on such an innocent face that the instructor overlooked the obvious.”
“He didn’t get into trouble?” Ben asked.
“Nope. And not only that, but Hollis never teased him again.”
“Wow.”
Harper sat back with a smile on her face. Noah had never told her that. How much had they kept from each other over the years they’d been together?
“Time for your bath, munchkin.” She ruffled Ben’s hair.
“Can I come down when I’m done? Please? I don’t have school tomorrow.”
“For a few minutes. I’ll bet Yaya has ice cream,” Harper said.
“I always have ice cream.” Her mom rose to clear the table. When Harper stacked her plate on Ben’s and rose, too, her mom shooed her away. “Nope. I’ll clean up. It’ll take a jiffy to load the dishwasher. Why don’t you walk Bennett down to the dock? It’s a full moon tonight. Should be pretty out.” She nudged her chin toward the back door.
Once the sliding glass door was closed and her mom couldn’t hear, Harper made a small sound that was supposed to be a laugh. “We don’t have to go, if you don’t want to.”
“A walk would be good. If you want.” He pulled on a Caldwell Survival School fleece zip-up, sounding as stiff and uncomfortable as she felt.
“Follow me and watch your step.” She led the way down the flight of stairs to the fenced-in backyard. The night was still and silent. A wooden swing hung from the limb of a water oak and drifted as if pushed by invisible hands.
A gate at the back let out at a narrow cross street. They walked down the middle. Many of the houses would be deserted until summer.
“Noah never told me the story about the snake,” she said.
“I got to laughing so hard when it happened, the instructor thought I had done it at first.”
“Could Noah have gotten kicked out?”
“Nah. He would have had to run extra. Or maybe the instructors would have respected him even more.” He kicked a loose piece of gravel down the road, his hands shoved into his pockets. “It’s good you let Ben have time with Noah’s folks.”
“Ben loves going down there. Noah’s sisters are all married with kids now and live close, so Ben has lots of cousins. Unlike here, where it’s just me and my mom.”
“He seems like a happy, well-adjusted kid. I’m sure Noah’s folks are proud of the job you’re doing raising him. They’re good people.”
Tears burned her eyes at his compliment. “You’ve met his parents?”
“I went to Georgia with Noah once. Helped him clear some trees for his dad.”
Harper shook her head. “I remember now. I was supposed to go, but it was early in my pregnancy and I wasn’t feeling well. Isn’t it strange our paths never crossed until … after.”
“Not so strange.” The cryptic bent of his tone registered, but she couldn’t decipher it.
The moon provided enough light to avoid potholes. Although it was a mild night, Harper shivered as they drew closer to the dock, the wind picking up a chill from the water.
“Here, take this.” Bennett slipped his fleece jacket off and put it around her shoulders. It was warm from his body heat. A manly combination of smells surrounded her. She put her arms into the too-long sleeves and buried her nose in the collar.
“But you’ll get cold.” Her protest was weak, and if he tried to take it back he would have to pry it out of her hands.
“I’ll be fine.” The dock came into view. “This is the waterway?”
“Currituck Sound, actually.”
The wooden dock had weathered years of winters and storms and hurricanes. The wood was cracked and buckled and in need of a stain, but it had stood the test of time.
She led them to the end and sat on the edge. Her feet dangled over the water. He joined her. The moon was rising behind them and cast ripples of light out onto the water.
“You used to come out here a lot, didn’t you?”
While the fact that Noah had shared intimate details of her inner life with Bennett was strange and backward, the more she was around him, the more she didn’t mind him knowing.
“It was my refuge as a kid, but I’m still drawn down here. I find the sound calms me in a way the ocean can’t.”
“Do you like to fish?” he asked.
“I don’t mind it as long as I can take a book along with me. Sitting and staring at a bobber all day long is worse than watching paint dry. I’ll bet fishing is your favorite thing, isn’t it? You seem the type.” She pulled a leg up and rested her chin on her knee.
“Yeah, I like to fish. You’re not doing it right if you’re staring at your bobber. And lastly, what type am I?” Amusement lightened his voice.
“The patient, quiet type. I’ll bet you win quiet mouse, still mouse every time.”
“It’s been a while since I played, so I can’t say.” His rumble of laughter echoed off the water and faded into silence.
“Tomorrow’s going to be a big step,” she whispered. “It’s been all talk up to now.”
“Are you nervous?”
“Try ‘terrified.’”
He put his arm around her shoulders, and her lean into him was instinctive, her head notching naturally under his chin. “You don’t seem scared of anyone or anything.”
“Then I’m hiding it better than I think I am. Before I walked into your store the first time, I almost talked myself into turning around before I even got out of the car.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” His admission was so soft she almost missed it.
“Me too,” she whispered back, squeezing her eyes shut.
She wasn’t sure which one of them moved first—perhaps they moved in synchronicity—but her lips were on his cheek, and his hand cupped her nape. The coarse hair of his beard was tactile and arousing. Searching, searching, she was searching. Her lips finally collided with his.
A sigh escaped. It had been a long time since she’d kissed a man. A long time since she’d even had the urge to kiss a man. Turns out it was like riding a bike.
She trailed her hands up to rest at his flanks, shifting her hips closer and tipping into him. The muscles of his torso shifted, and she explored the ridges. Everything except for the two of them fuzzed out of existence. She was only aware of his body and his hand on her lower back, slipping under the edge of his jacket and her shirt to singe her skin. Sensations rippled through her.
Their lips continued their advance and ret
reat, neither assuming control. It was an exploration. Time ceased to have meaning. He speared his hand into her hair and held her, deepening the kiss. As if she would run.
She ran her hands up his back to loop around his neck. The position levered them down to the buckled, rough planks of the dock, side by side. She craved his weight pressing her down, no matter how uncomfortable, and tugged his hips.
He pulled his mouth away to whisper her name. “Harper?”
The questioning lilt broke the spell. She pushed him away and lurched to her feet, surprised to find the moon still on the rise. A seismic shift not reflected in the turn of the Earth had thrown her little world off its axis.
She touched her lips, sensitive and slightly swollen, and backed away from him. He rose more slowly, eyeing her like she was a wild animal he was trying not to spook. Actually, that wasn’t far off the mark. She did feel a little like running away and hiding under her covers.
But she was an adult and could at least try to act like one. “I need to get back to tuck Ben in.”
“Sure.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and didn’t try to touch her as they walked the length of the dock.
Her mind raced for something innocuous to say. The one thought that hovered above all others was of Noah. Guilt assailed her, and she attempted to tease out the root cause. It’s not that she believed she had betrayed him. He wouldn’t want her pining for him the rest of her days.
In fact, Noah hadn’t even been on the fringes of her thoughts during the kiss. Wrapped up in Bennett, it was like Noah hadn’t existed. However briefly, she had forgotten him. Her knees threatened to give out on her, and she tripped on a root at the edge of the road.
Bennett caught her arm, but she shook him off and picked up the pace. “I’m fine.”
She was being unforgivably rude, but all she could think of was Ben. Her one solid link to Noah was waiting for her, and she wouldn’t let him down. She entered the back door with a clatter, and her mother popped around the corner with a worried expression.
“Could you get Bennett settled in the guest room while I tuck Ben in, Mom?”
Harper brushed by her mom and took the stairs to Ben’s room two at a time. She stopped outside his bedroom and regulated her breathing before pushing the door open. Ben sat up in bed and played pretend with his dinosaurs.
Before she could stop herself, she sat on the edge of the twin bed and pulled him in for a hug and kiss. He squirmed away and wiped her kiss away, giggling.
“Are you ready for a book?” she asked.
“I was hoping Big Ben could come tell me another story about Daddy.”
Her heart floundered. “His name is Bennett.”
“Yeah, but he’s big and his name is almost like mine. Can he?”
“Not tonight.” She grabbed whatever book was on his nightstand and leaned back into his pillow. She read the story but didn’t comprehend the words, her mind on the man down the hall. Ben had turned on his side, his knees jabbing into her legs, his eyes closed.
She turned off the light and curled around him as if she could protect him. Except she was the one who needed protection and grounding. Knowing she was hiding like a coward, she drifted on the edge of sleep, her thoughts spiraling around Bennett and their kiss.
Was she afraid of being hurt? She let the logical explanation settle over her, but it didn’t exactly fit. It was more complicated. The truth hit her like a hurricane. She was afraid of being happy.
As she held their son, Noah loomed large in her memories. She had been happy with Noah. Did moving on with someone else overwrite that happiness or was it cumulative? She wasn’t sure.
Bennett’s words from earlier made a reappearance. He’d said Ben wouldn’t get attached because they’d just met. That wasn’t true, though. Sometimes a moment was all it took. That’s all it had taken with Noah. Life could change in a blink.
What did Bennett think of her now? That she was crazy or just not interested? Crazy was a distinct possibility, but that he could think she was uninterested made her stomach feel funny. She hadn’t rejected him at the dock. It had been a classic situation of ‘it’s not you; it’s me.” Did he realize that?
Her heart kicked into a higher gear. She eased out of bed. Ben squirmed into the warm spot she’d left but didn’t wake. The squeak of Ben’s door opening made her cringe and hold still. Everything in the house was quiet and dark. She must have been asleep longer than she’d thought.
She tiptoed down the hall and stood in front of the guest room door. Like a normal person, Bennett was probably asleep. Maybe it would be better—easier—to do this in the morning or during the car ride to Fort Bragg. She hesitated. If she didn’t do it now, she might not do it at all. And then what?
Whatever was growing between them would be stamped out for good. As scared as she was to let it flourish, she couldn’t let it die.
His fleece jacket still wrapped her in its warmth. She slipped it off, knocked on the door, and waited. Softer, she knocked again. Nothing. She leaned her forehead against the door and closed her eyes. Everything was ruined.
* * *
Bennett popped his eyes open. He’d dropped back into a doze after waking from familiar childhood dreams, but something more benign woke him this time. A second knock was definitely not dream induced. He grabbed a T-shirt and pulled it on as he padded barefoot to the door and opened it. Harper crashed straight into his chest with an oof, knocking him back a step. Surprise pumped adrenaline through his body.
Jack whined from the floor but didn’t rise. Bennett glanced toward the window and the angle of the moonlight put the time around midnight. She was in the same T-shirt she’d been wearing earlier.
“What are you doing here?” he whispered. After their disaster-ish kiss, she hadn’t been able to get away from him fast enough. And now she was practically in his arms, even if it was because she was off balance.
“Did I wake you?”
“Sort of.”
“Bad dreams?” How did she see straight through him like that in the dark? “Here’s your jacket.”
She shoved his fleece zip-up into his chest. He tossed it into a chair. “You came to my room in the middle of the night to return my jacket?”
“Yes.” She was so close, he could feel her body sigh. “No. Can I come in? We need to talk.”
The four scariest words a woman could utter. Now he was the one off balance. “It can’t wait until morning?”
Her hands tightened around his forearms. “No.”
He disentangled himself from her and closed the door to keep from waking Ben or Gail. The distance was good. She was too soft and warm and tempting. Which was exactly what had gotten him in trouble earlier.
He perched stiffly on the side of the bed with his legs outstretched and his arms crossed over his chest. “Go ahead.”
She stepped closer, the shadows giving way to moonlight. Her nerves were obvious. Was she going to tell him to take his money and get gone? Had one kiss screwed up everything?
“Earlier … you know, on the dock … well, I didn’t mean … that is to say—” She cleared her throat and whispered, “Aw, screw it.”
She straddled his legs and put her hands on his face. Before he could do more than unlock his arms and grab her waist, she kissed him.
Instead of the slow deliberation of their kiss on the dock, desperation thrummed around her, infecting him as well. He pulled her closer, fusing their bodies. She hooked an arm around his neck while her other hand played in his hair. Her sexy whimper was like flint to dry tinder.
He rolled them until she was on her back and he was between her legs. She arched against him, and a shiver coursed through him. As much as he would love to peel off all their clothes and wake up in the morning with her, too many questions burned for answers.
Except her lips felt perfect and he was having problems locating sufficient willpower to actually detach them. He moved his lips against hers. “Harper. What are we doing?”
&nbs
p; “Kissing.” She trailed her hand down his back and into the waistband of his boxer briefs.
Another inch or two and he would lose any semblance of self-control. Harper was a woman who’d lived in his imagination for years. Except she’d turned out to be sweeter, funnier, smarter, sexier … basically more of everything than he’d imagined. He had no defense against the real thing. Not even guilt over Noah could keep him from wanting her.
He tried one more time. “We can’t have sex with your mom and son down the hall.”
“Sex?” She startled enough to break the kiss but not the hold she had on him.
“Isn’t that where we were headed when you put your hand in my underwear?”
She didn’t snatch her hand away but moved it slowly up his back, her nails scraping pleasurably. “I didn’t come in here for sex. I swear. I really did come to talk.”
“Darlin’, believe me, I’m not judging you. Given the green light, I’d be all in.” He paused when she turned her head to the side. Had he come on too strong? “But I don’t think you know what you want. Am I wrong?”
He barely heard her whisper, “You’re not wrong.”
With the effort of separating industrial-sized magnets, he rolled off her to his back and concentrated on the slow turn of the ceiling fan to regulate his breathing. “Why did you come sneaking to my door at midnight, then?”
She turned to her side and propped her head up on her hand. “I was afraid if I waited until morning, things would be ruined.”
“What things?”
“Us things.” She made a gah sound and rolled to her stomach, her feet hanging off the bed, her face hidden in the covers. “Put me out of my misery.”
He smiled. He wasn’t a smiler or laugher or hugger. Except around her he found himself doing all three more than he remembered for years. Maybe forever. “You haven’t ruined ‘us’ things.”
“I haven’t?” She propped herself up on her elbows. “I didn’t run off because I didn’t enjoy kissing you out on the dock. Boy howdy, I enjoyed it all right. And that was why I ran off.”
“You’re afraid of getting physical?”
“Not exactly. Although, I mean, it has been a while.” She hummed and sat up on the bed, her arms around her knees. “You may not want to know. It’s weird.”
The Military Wife Page 16