Flying High (Davis Brothers Book 2)

by Nicole Douglas

  “It makes me feel cheap. It reminds me that no matter what I do I’ll never stop being that girl I used to be. That’s always who I am.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “It’s true!”

  “Does that make me a junkie? Always. No matter what I do?” I challenge her.

  She stalls and backtracks. “No. Of course not. That’s different.”

  “How so?”

  “You overcame that. You’re helping other people get clean at the center.”

  “And you haven’t? You help those same people. You work there every day with me.”

  “I love the center, Chris. I really do. I love what we do there. But the center was your idea and it’s your redemption. Not mine.”

  I let that sink in for a minute. She was lacking a sense of purpose. A sense of self. I should have seen that sooner given the fact that she had been living as a plaything for other people for so long. Not living for her. This was the first hint she had given me that she felt less than.

  “Then let’s figure out what we need to do for your redemption. Together.”

  “Together?”

  Maybe she wanted to do it alone and I was overstepping. But I wanted to help her and I had spoken my mind. I hoped she felt the same and wanted me by her side as she searched for who she was and what she wanted from life beyond what she was doing now.

  “Yes, together. You helped me. Now let me help you.”

  “I don’t even know where to begin saving my soul, Chris.”

  “Let me help you, Nat. I know you better than anyone.”

  She doesn’t say she doesn’t want my help and doesn’t say I don’t know her. Instead she says, “What if my soul is too far gone?”

  “Bullshit.”

  And at that I grab the remote from her hand and press play on the documentary she paused about killer whales in the arctic.

  ☠　Chapter Six ☠

  Natalie

  Some people thought celibacy was unbearable.

  I wasn’t one of those people. Not after years of being used and forgotten after a few minutes of playing the part of sexy seductress. Sex lost its luster somewhere along the way and the moment it wasn’t my job anymore I gave it up without a second thought.

  Losing my virginity at fourteen to a senior at my high school probably skewed my view on sex. It didn’t take me long to realize he was using me for a good time. The fact that he didn’t want me to meet his family or speak to him at school in front of his friends tipped me off pretty early on.

  When he graduated at the end of that year he never attempted to contact me again. Just went off to college and ignored the few times I tried to reach out.

  It hurt but I moved on. On to other guys just like him. And then later guys that were far worse. My self-esteem wasn’t the greatest to begin with and I began caking on the makeup, dying my hair and changing the way I dressed to attract male attention, hoping it would last if I tried hard enough to be what they wanted.

  This is how I ended up attracting the attention of Max when he was on the prowl for a girl desperate enough, or slutty enough, to work for his father. My low cut top with exposed midriff and tiny mini skirt had sent the message loud and clear. I was just the kind of girl he was looking for that night and I was ashamed to say I didn’t take much convincing.

  That didn’t do much to boost my cracked self-esteem.

  I probably needed this time in life all to myself without any men getting in the way. To figure out what I was worth if it wasn’t a good time between the sheets. I still wasn’t sure I found those answers just yet.

  A few times while living with Chris I had questioned my need for celibacy. Watching him walk around the house shirtless. Spending summer weekends at the beach, watching his abs slowly grow more defined as the months went by. Listening to his husky voice first thing in the morning as he makes his coffee. Getting a whiff of his woodsy cologne as he passed me in the hall on the way to the bathroom we shared.

  Sometimes it was almost too difficult to resist the urge to reach out and touch his sculpted chest to see if it’s as firm as it looks or pull him in for a heated kiss. I pushed all those desires and feelings to the back of my mind and fought to view him as the good friend he was.

  I wasn’t naïve enough to think there was no attraction or sexual tension between us. I could feel it in the charged energy when we stood too close. Could see it in his eyes when he stared at me just a beat too long.

  Obviously that wasn’t something that could be ignored. But I wasn’t ready to let it take on any meaning. I wasn’t ready to let it become anything. I just wasn’t ready.

  Chris walks by my doorway, pulling his shirt over his head on his way to the bathroom. I finished swiping mascara heavily over my lashes at my little vanity table, trying not to watch him passing by in the mirror.

  The bathroom door never shuts so when I finish my makeup I wander around the corner to remind him of the time. We’re running late for work this morning and if we don’t leave within the next five minutes there’s no way we can make it there before eight.

  Being the boss, I guess it didn’t much matter if he was late. Still, it’s a pretty good idea for him to show up on time and set a good example for the staff.

  I realize my mistake of barging into the bathroom uninvited when I get an eyeful of his package. His bare and stiff package. I didn’t hear the telltale sound until it was too late and I was standing in the doorway of the bathroom while he stood there pissing.

  “If you wanted to see my dick you could’ve just asked.” He casually calls out over his shoulder.

  He’s so calm. Not startled in the slightest. I realize that must mean he heard me coming down the hall and simply hadn’t bothered to warn me. Asshat.

  My face turns beet red and avert my eyes. The image is still seared in my memory and it’ll take a lot more than looking away to get that out of my mind.

  “Um…I…I just wanted to tell you we need to leave or we’re going to be late.”

  He laughs at my obvious discomfort, watching my reaction through the mirror. I flush again and turn away so he doesn’t have the satisfaction of seeing how rattled I am at the sight of him.

  My first thought is shit, he caught me looking.

  My second? Goddamn he was huge.

  He zips himself back up and turns to face me once he’s decent. My eyes are firmly focused on my nails, refusing to keep staring at his dick, or him, or anything else in this room.

  Damn my cuticles were bad. I needed a manicure. And a good vibrator too, apparently. I force myself to not look up as he washes his hands in the pedestal sink.

  Maybe after work I should make a stop at the nail salon for a little R&R and a sex shop to help me get my shit together. An evening at the salon surrounded by elderly women followed by a decent self-inflicted orgasm should straighten this all out.

  It wasn’t my first glimpse at a dick by any means but I hadn’t found myself this impressed by one.

  “You ready to go?” He asks, his lips tilted in a sweet smile.

  I nod and back out of the doorway, giving him space to get out. The last thing I need is for him to accidentally brush into me on his way out and think I’m trying to feel him up.

  He dries his hands on one of my decorative towels and leads the way to the car while I quietly follow. I don’t even scold him for using the very towel I had told him a million fucking times to keep his hands off of. Words escape me at the moment and it’s probably best for us to take a few moments of silence this morning.

  The car backs out of the parking spot and I muster the courage to glance over at him. His smirk has grown since we left the apartment, thoroughly entertained by my odd behavior. Damn him. I obviously wasn’t going to hear the end of this anytime soon.

  I glare over at him pointedly as I click my seatbelt in place. He lifts his hands defensively and pulls his seatbelt on too, not looking any less smug.

  “I’m doing it.” He mumbles as his own seatbelt clicks
into place.

  He tugs uncomfortably at the belt strap over his chest but doesn’t voice any more complaints on the matter. The rest of the ride is quiet and we enjoy the softly playing rock music and the colorful flashes of wildflowers growing on the side of the road.

  When we arrive at the center I hop out of the passenger’s seat and rush through the front door ahead of Chris, needing a bit of space. That’s a hard feat considering we both work here together.

  I don’t know what to make of the fact that he caught me gawking at him. I want to be embarrassed. Part of me is. But the other part felt a thrill at the sight of what he was packing. That mental snapshot was going to be reviewed again tonight, when I was alone in my room and didn’t have to worry about anyone catching me daydreaming.

  Knowing him he would take one look at me and guess what was on my mind. He had no shortage in being full of himself and I couldn’t give him the satisfaction.

  He walks through the front door moments after me and heads straight for his office down the hallway at the back of the building. I work the front desk, answering phone calls and organizing family member visits. My desk spans across the entryway and I have plenty of space to spread out, eat and work simultaneously.

  Usually I love my workspace. Today I envy him his privacy and ability to shut his office door and close himself off to everyone else.

  Pasting on a crafted smile, I greet my co-workers and answer the phone the few times it rings. It proves to be a fairly quiet day at the center. No one leaves treatment early. Group goes smoothly. No fights break out. Two family members stop in for the afternoon visiting hours and comply with the sign-in process.

  I go through the motions all day, noticing every time Chris is in the same room, just passing by. The energy changes before I even see him entering the room. The hairs on my arms rise on cue when he’s in proximity. It’s like the molecules in my body are tied to his and when he’s near I can recognize it.

  Just noticing his presence created a buzz in my nerves. He watches me too when he doesn’t think I’m paying attention. Butterflies take flight in my gut each time his attention shifts to me.

  I don’t want them to. I want them to settle the fuck down but it doesn’t work like that. Butterflies have a mind of their own and they awaken when they feel like it. It’s not something that can be controlled, like every other encounter I’ve experienced in the past.

  This can’t be good. I can’t feel this way. Chris is my friend. My roommate.

  I’m not ready.

  ☠　Chapter Seven ☠

  Chris

  A loud banging rattles the front door and I race to open it before it wakes Natalie. Max stands there in his running shorts with a stupid smile on his face. It can’t be natural at this early hour. He’s ready for our morning jog and I’m as ready as I’m capable of being.

  Luckily I finished my coffee and feel myself slowly waking up. The caffeine has made its way to my bloodstream and my zombie state lifts.

  It’s still dark outside. The sun is barely rising for the day, turning the sky a deep purple. That’s a rare sight for a night owl like me to see.

  I’ve witnessed a lot of sunrises since I started working out with Max and have decided that they’re highly overrated. No more impressive than a sunset, which could be seen at decent time of day.

  Why the hell didn’t we run in the evenings? One of these days I was going to make the suggestion.

  I grab two bottles of water on my way out the door and toss one to my brother. He descends the steps as I lock the front door, pocket the keys and race down behind him, hoping to get my heart pumping on my way down.

  The two of us have a steady pace after weeks of jogging together daily. I finally worked past the erratic breathing and sharp side pains. Now the worst that happened was burning in my thighs when we pushed the limits. We spent three days a week at the gym lifting weights.

  I was getting healthier.

  Stronger.

  Still, I had to give my little brother a hard time. If I wasn’t complaining to him and giving him shit for making me run and eat healthy, things just wouldn’t be right in the world.

  Best of all, Nat seemed to have taken notice when I walked around the apartment without a shirt. I did that shit on purpose, hoping she would eventually notice me. It drove me crazy that she never really had before. Her gaze never lingered below my face. She never gave me heated looks as we passed each other at work or in the tight hall in the apartment.

  Until a few days ago when she caught a glimpse of my dick in the bathroom. She couldn’t pretend she didn’t notice that. The blushing and unwillingness to make eye contact with me for the rest of the day was enough proof of that she got an eyeful.

  I don’t try to talk to Max during our run, knowing I need to carefully control my breathing to avoid those sharp side pains I constantly complained about. We pass by houses on the sidewalk that leads to the shopping strip with our gym.

  It’s a cloudy day and I’m grateful for the break from the beaming sun. At this time of year it usually baked us by the time we finished our workout.

  When we get to the gym we go straight to the weights. As my heart rate slows from the run and I cool off in the air conditioning I decide it’s time to bring up what’s been nagging at me for days.

  “You upset Natalie the other night.”

  “And?”

  “And I don’t like it. Give her a fucking break.”

  He sighs heavily. “I wasn’t trying to upset her. I just…it’s weird having her around all the time. Having her spending so much time with Lacey. So much time with you.”

  “I’ve always spent time with her.”

  Confusion and surprise cross his features. “You have?”

  “Yeah. Besides, she’s different now. She made a lot of mistakes but so did we. She regrets all the shit she did. Especially to you. She’s trying to change but you keep bringing up the shit she wants to forget.”

  “I forgive her for that I just…Is it so bad that I don’t want her around?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Lacey wants her around. I want her around. She isn’t going anywhere.”

  He looks away and runs a hand through his sweaty hair. “I guess.”

  “She’s a good friend to Lace. Lay off a little.”

  When he looks back at me I can see something in his eyes. He’s carefully examining me, calculating the things I’ve said and the things he’s observed. It’s all adding up in his mind and I wish I could rewind the conversation.

  “She’s a good friend to Lacey.” He says curiously. “What is she to you?”

  “A good friend.”

  He pauses briefly, his eyes never leaving mine. I shift nervously under his scrutiny, not sure if I want to share this with him yet.

  “Who have you been dating lately?” He asks.

  His tone reeks of assessment and mental wheels turning. It was a loaded question. I recognize it for the trap it is. He wants to know if I’m screwing Natalie and he may as well have just come right out and asked.

  “You know I don’t date, bro.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  Jesus Christ, he’s relentless. I stay quiet. We have a silent standoff for all of ten seconds. But those ten seconds pass very slowly and the lack of words is loud as fuck.

  “No one?” He prods. “That isn’t like you.”

  “I’ve been busy with work and shit.”

  “Work and…what kind of shit?”

  “Just, you know. Random shit.”

  He narrows his eyes but drops the topic. Apparently he has all the answers he needs for now.

  We move on to the leg machines because we’re masochists and want to feel the evidence of our workout in our burning muscles on the run back. Neither of us mentions Natalie or her sordid past or my lack of a sex life for the rest of the day.

  ☠　☠　☠　☠　☠

  Over the following weeks Max stops talking shit about Natalie. It’s subtle almost to the poi
nt of being unnoticeable. He doesn’t extend anything more than the lack of shit talking. No friendship or olive branch. But he stops bashing her every chance he gets and I notice it.

  I even witness some opportunities where she walked right into one of his snide remarks. I cringed and waited for him to unleash some hurtful words but he just clenched his jaw, looked at me and let it go.

  He let it go.

  He wasn’t trying because he gave a shit about her feelings but evidently he cared about mine. That’s all I can expect from his stubborn ass so I take what I can get.

  Lacey seems to notice the change in Max too and gives him a small smile or snuggles closer into his side when she notices his efforts. Positive reinforcements worked wonders and I knew she was good for my cranky, mule of a brother.

  I wink at her across the room the second time I notice her encouraging this new and improved side of him. She smiled and nodded as if to say you’re welcome. She was probably just as sick of seeing him act an ass as I was.

  Last week at our Sunday family dinner Natalie spoke without Max commenting at all. She looked at me in confusion when it happened. She probably knew I had something to do with the sudden change but I didn’t care. She deserved better and I was determined to make sure she got some damn respect.

  Over the past two weeks she slowly settled into the new dynamic where she could talk without being shamed and discretely berated. She has visibly brightened more each week.

  She stopped hiding her laughter with Lacey, stopped trying to stay quiet just to go unnoticed. She was able to be how she was when it was just the two of us.

  Happy and free to be herself.

  The girls talked about wedding planning at the kitchen table while Max and I played Halo in the living room on his Xbox. We were like a normal group of friends and I hadn’t realized how much I craved that quaint type of life until I had one.

  A couple hours passed before Lacey flipped off the lights and headed down the hall to their bedroom. I hadn’t even realized Natalie left already but as I look around for her it becomes obvious she was long gone. I stretch my arms out on front of me and look over at Max to find him looking down the hall after his fiancé.