Fish Out of Water

by Ros Baxter

  Or maybe Dirty Dancing.

  All around me, the water danced and writhed and it took several seconds for my drugged senses to register what I was seeing. “The Dance of the Dolphins,” I finally realized, laughing down into his face like a three year old child. “It’s tonight?”

  “Yes.” He laughed as well. “Come on!” His face was lit up with something so pure I suddenly saw him as he must have looked as a child, the first time he had ever been here, had ever seen this ritual. The force of the image knocked the breath out of me.

  He threw me forward into the water and I took off, swimming, dancing and cavorting with a hundred thousand dolphins of the deep sea. Their silver grey hides flashing in the moonlight like fairy dust on their night of nights. As I swam, they circled closer, touching me with quicksilver caresses, alighting briefly in my brain with dolphin grace.

  Magic made flesh.

  As he caught up to me with a few clever strokes, he reached for my hand, and it felt too good. I reminded myself that I still didn’t know his name, and decided that even though this may have been truly a Kodak moment I needed to ask it before I went cavorting off with him.

  But he was too quick with a question of his own. “Now?”

  I shook my head in confusion, so caught up with my own thoughts, and with the joy and magic of the moment that I didn’t understand what he was asking.

  Indigo eyes framed by wet lashes bored into me. “Back at the wedding I asked you what moves the rest of you. The parts that aren’t human. So.” He grinned at me like a schoolboy. “Tell me. Now do you remember?”

  Evening: The Wedding

  Lecanora blinked in surprise when I appeared beside her.

  “Lecanora, I’m sorry,” I mumbled. I suspected the Princess could tell I was kind of confused about exactly which bits I was sorry about, but I did know I’d been making my way over to her when the wolf had waylaid me. And I hadn’t meant to disappear for so long.

  Lucky Gadulan weddings were extended affairs.

  “Worry not.” Lecanora’s hands twisted prettily in front of her. “May we speak now?”

  I was about to say hell yeah when Mom joined us, greeting Lecanora with her customary warm embrace. “Hello, sea-daughter,” she said with a wry smile, using the ancient, but seldom-used greeting for beloved friends. “Are you well, recovered from the events of yesterday?”

  Lecanora smiled nervously, nodding, and skittering anxiously on the spot. Lunia placed one hand around her waist and another over her heart, stilling her. “There is nothing to be nervous about here.”

  The Princess closed her eyes and seemed to visible settle before my eyes. “Lunia, I am sorry.” She motioned to where I’d been sensing before my disappearance, hours before.

  I felt an upswell of outrage and was about to remind them both I was there too.

  Lunia laughed her musical tinkle. “Don’t be. Daughters are supposed to do things their mothers would prefer they didn’t.” She looked warmly into Lecanora’s eyes with her trademark twinkle as she continued. “But, you know, mothers often do things they shouldn’t as well.”

  Mom kind of melted away as Lecanora took my hand and led me to a quiet place, where sea grass day-beds formed a private enclave away from the hustle and pry of Gadulan eyes.

  Finally, we were alone.

  Lecanora wrapped me in her Olympian’s embrace. It felt like coming home and I found myself collapsing into her. You know, at home I’m happy to wrap my arms around victims of all kinds of horrible stuff, squeeze them and lend some human warmth. I don’t judge them as sobs wrack their bodies through every kind of hell. But I never, ever let myself go.

  I can’t. Not when people need me to be strong.

  Sometimes it’s hard being different, and I never had anyone to share the burden with. Except beautiful, quirky Lecanora, who I figured always felt a little like me.

  An outsider, even on the inside.

  “Where did you go, Rania, you’ve been gone hours?” Concern dug lines into her face.

  Oh no, I couldn’t talk about him. Not yet.

  Lecanora looked far away, and sadder than I’d ever seen her. I knew by the change in her face she wasn’t thinking about my escapade with the beautiful merman any longer. “And why have you stayed away from Aegira so long? All these years?”

  “Oh Norsha,” I sighed into her hair, using my childhood name for her. “It’s so good to see you.” This is what I really wanted to talk about right now. I wanted to make things right between us. “It’s been so long.” I wanted to break my promise to myself and tell her, even though I’d never told anybody about the prediction. “I had to… I had to stay away.”

  What could I say? “I wanted to come back. Lots of times. But… but I just couldn’t. And now everything’s gone mad.” I looked at her and felt the old hurt. I was a teenager again. “I don’t know what happened. What did I do wrong to make you go cold on me?”

  Lecanora covered her mouth at my words, and lowered her face. “Oh Ransha, Ransha,” she started, stroking my hair in a universal gesture of comfort. Apart from Mom, she’s the only one who ever calls me that. “It wasn’t you. You didn’t do anything.”

  I remembered it so well. Things had started to get a little cool between me and my BFF when some of the other, younger mermaids started referring to me as dirt-dweller. They weren’t trying to be cruel, they were just stating fact. Sometimes they wouldn’t even say it. I would just see it lying there in their mind, a label without value. Like they’d say food, music, fish. I was always strong, even for a mermaid, and at twelve or thirteen I hadn’t quite learned to control my hot Sicilian temper. And it hurt, the things they said. So I kinda kicked some mermaid ass. Which, in retrospect, was unfair. After all, we can’t help what we think. And let’s face it, if land people could read my thoughts I’d never be out of the hospital.

  As I came back to myself, I saw that Lecanora was crying. It’s the most beautiful thing. Did I mention it? Mermaids cry silver tears. I always figured it was so you could see them underwater. Glistening. “It was so hard here. I was trying to do the right things. And Kraken...”

  That asshole. I shoulda known he’d have something to do with how distant Lecanora had been with me in the few years before I’d taken off. The guy’s been yanking her chain her whole life. Pull an orphaned girl out of the sea and make her a Princess and you think you own her.

  I put my finger over her lips. “Don’t worry. You don’t need to tell me what he said. What he did.” I turned her face to mine and looked at her seriously, right in the eyes. “We’re good now, though. Right?”

  She nodded, silver tears still streaming down her face. We rested like that a few moments, before she spoke again, and when she did, it was just like she was channeling my thoughts. “We’re different, Rania, you and I. I mean, different from them. You, of course. But me too. I know it inside. There’s something different about me too.”

  I nodded. She’s right, I knew it. Always have.

  “We must always stick together. From now on. We must always be… in the same pod.”

  I laughed at the term, but felt sad inside that ‘always’ might only be a few weeks. “Well,” I smiled at her. “Let’s not get ideas above our station now…”

  She laughed too. “I have no idea what that means. But I did see you talking to Rick. What was he saying?”

  “Um…” Where to start? We needed to cover some ground before we leapt right into “find the hurting”. Luckily, she had moved on before she realized I hadn’t answered her. “And what did the girls want?” She motioned over to where Zali, Nidan and Tricoste were huddled, nervously conferring.

  “The Throaty Three?”

  Lecanora laughed again, that kooky trill that actually convinces some mermaids that she’s kind of ditzy, but is really just a sign her anxiety thing is going into overdrive. I was about to answer when we both became suddenly aware of the crowd slipping closer. I didn’t need to read their minds to know what they were thin
king but I couldn’t resist a peek as they pressed closer, to see if I could catch any thoughts. But I only caught strays. One from a Sand Seeder who should know better, its pure, invisible energy picking up fine grains of the seabed and forming himself into a pinwheel with them, just for fun.

  Hmmm, them again. It’s been a long time. Perhaps together they could stop him…

  Another from Reiscalian child, staring at Lecanora and I, transfixed.

  Mama says the Aegirans are our only hope. If they all perish, who will protect us?

  Mental note to self. Stay out of heads. Times like these, eavesdroppers end up on Prozac.

  I could see The Choirmaster, Zorax, push through the crowd towards us, and I was relieved. Along with the Triad, a handful of other positions make up the Aegiran leadership grouping. The Choirmaster is one, along with the Head Architect (sort of like Planning and Zoning back home) and The Healer (think Surgeon General).

  I’d always liked Zorax. He reminded me a little of Santa Claus, twinkly eyes and red cheeks. And there was something else about him. He seemed almost as old as Imd, somehow.

  Like he knew things, secrets.

  “Zorax,” I smiled, touching his eyelids with my fingers.

  “Rania,” he responded. “How is the girl of the golden voice?”

  “Tired,” I said, trying not to think about dolphins. I remembered my manners. “But pleased, as ever, to be back in paradise.” Busy, you know. Visions, world saving. Yada yada.

  He laughed, and I knew that he could tell my line was just that. “I can see that you and the Princess have a lot to talk about.” He nodded and made a sign of peace over Lecanora. “I won’t hold you. I trust the girls asked you to come by, lend us your expertise…” He was asking like it was good manners, but I was used to undercurrents, and I knew there was more. He was fishing, trying to find out what the Throaty Three were talking to me about.

  What the hell was going on here?

  I acted like I had no idea what he was talking about. “Actually,” I whispered conspiratorially, “They were after cop stories. You know how girls love gossip.”

  Zorax laughed, and I was almost sure I imagined it, but I detected a quick shimmer of relief skate across his jolly face. He embraced me one last time before moving off, and Lecanora and I picked up again. I was pretty sure we couldn’t be overheard, but I zoomed in to a private place in her brain, a place I knew no random passing royal-watchers could access.

  Okay. So. The Throaty Three? Well, they wanted to know about my work.

  Lecanora’s heavenly face puckered a little in confusion. Your investigative work? Protecting people in Dirtwater?

  I shrugged. Well, you make it sound kind of grand, but yeah, that. The cop thing.

  She frowned. Did they say why they were asking?

  Well, they started asking whether I knew about the soloist, Imogen.

  Fast as an electric eel strike, Lecanora’s brain flashed a warning at me. Be careful, sister.

  And then, even in telepathy, she was whispering, as if to underline the warning. They know? They discussed it with you? The disappearance?

  Whoa. What was this? She knew too? Okay, Norsha. From the beginning please.

  Lecanora’s face formed a thinking pose, trying to work out where to begin. She’s missing, Imogen. Imogen’s missing. Just did not appear for practice, six days ago. And no-one has seen her since. They tried to touch her. To locate her, you know. Her family, her friends. They sent their thoughts so far, beyond the reefs even. And nothing.

  I felt nauseous at her words and I knew that Lecanora did too. Like fish in a school, everyone is connected to everyone else in Aegira, and they can always find each other. This was like looking down and suddenly finding your hand is missing.

  I looked carefully at Lecanora. She had been lost too. No-one had ever claimed her.

  Far as I knew, there had only been three occasions in the history of Aegira when people had become lost. The girl, the one I mentioned earlier. My mother’s aunt, who went missing as a child. Then Lecanora, adrift and belonging to no-one. And now Imogen.

  Three mysteries. No answers.

  Lecanora swam in a tight little circle on the spot. But, Rania. They shouldn’t know. The girls. The... Throaty Three. They shouldn’t know she’s missing. How do they know?

  I was confused. What do you mean? She didn’t show up. For practice. Of course they know.

  Lecanora made a soft, troubled sound into my overheated brain. They fixed it. They made it so no-one would notice. So no-one would… remember.

  I stopped her pacing with my hand. What do you mean? Who fixed it? You’re not making sense, Norsha.

  I watched while she forced herself to stop. The High Triad. I think they… decided the populace could not take the strain of knowing about Imogen’s disappearance. That it might be the spark that sets Aegira alight.

  I couldn’t hold back my smile. Revolution? In Aegira?

  But Lecanora wasn’t smiling. We are not as you remember us, Ransha. As the time of the prophecy has drawn nearer, the people have become frightened and distressed. There is no consensus about what will happen when Imd… when my mother re-joins her parents in the spirit world. Let alone what to do about what the prophecy says, about the end of the world.

  My brain struggled to keep up. So…?

  Lecanora resumed her frenzied swimming. So the Council initiated a cover-up. Supposedly to enable them to search for Imogen unhindered.

  I was so not with the program, even after Lecanora’s careful explanation. I don’t get it. What, they just made everyone forget her?

  She frowned prettily. No, not quite that. They did something to their thoughts. Scattered them a little so when they thought about Imogen, their minds wouldn’t hold on to the fact of her. I’m not sure how.

  This was beyond weird. How the hell did the Triad confuse some of the most evolved brains on the planet? I could feel my heart, drumming and thumping against my ribs, and I thought again about the night before last. The pain, and the fear. The darkness of what I had seen coming to pass. I wondered if this was the destiny I was meant to disrupt. And whether if I did, I might get off the hook and see thirty. I had so little to go on. There was Rick, of course, and his damn cryptic message. Telling me I need to find those who are hurting. And those who can help as well. Who the hell were they? I could really use them right now.

  I needed more from Lecanora. But how do they do it? The mind piracy thing.

  She shrugged. I don’t know, really. I can only guess it must be Shar, some of his magic. I shouldn’t know about it. But I… overheard them discussing it.

  I tried to mentally translate what she was telling me. You eavesdropped.

  No. Lecanora skittered on the spot and I raised an eyebrow.

  No. More firmly.

  My eyebrow stayed firmly cocked.

  Okay, yes. Yes, I eavesdropped.

  Go, girl. I always knew she had it in her. No-one can be that straight.

  She placed her hand on my shoulders as though to underline her words. I overheard The Triad talking to mother about Imogen’s disappearance. And about how they thought she should manage it. My mother, the Queen, she had wanted some space to try to work out what had happened to Imogen. To make a plan, to try to find her. She was fretting, fretting, every night. So worried about her. Worried for her. Like she was… her own daughter.

  I was shocked. The Queen agreed to the mind stuff? Making people forget? Making people… misplace Imogen? I can’t believe she agreed. It’s outrageous. It’s disgusting.

  Lecanora was quick to defend. I don’t think she knew about it before they did it. I heard them talking afterwards. But she didn’t explode like… like she should have. It doesn’t seem like her, does it? But she’s getting so old. She’s… not well. And then… I didn’t know how to help her. To help everyone.

  Something in Lecanora’s face pulled me up. She was scared for her Mom. And I felt the gnarled hand of fear tighten its grip on my heart.
Imd was indestructible. Like time. It was simply impossible that she could be afraid. Is she ok? Your Mom?

  Lecanora shuddered. I think so. Most of the time she seems fine. But she gets so tired. She knows it’s almost her time to go. And she sees no answers to all these puzzles. She’s afraid for her people.

  Fear, so much fear.

  I can only think she agreed to the… mind thing… because she didn’t know how to stop the fear that’s infecting the whole community. It’s spreading, like a storm gathering. But I know she needs counsel. Better counsel than she’s getting right now.

  I raised an eyebrow at her. Any ideas?

  Lecanora shook her heady quickly, grey eyes casting downwards. Not me. But she has an idea. She wants to talk to your mother.

  What? Mom? My mom?

  Mom and the Queen had always been close. Imd sought her out when we visited. When I asked, Mom would just tell me that some things were between mothers. So I’d never pushed. Any idea what she thinks Mom can offer?

  No. Lecanora looked puzzled, a pretty frown splitting her smooth face. No, I don’t know. But… my heart is whispering something to me.

  I smiled, kind of charmed and kind of frustrated, remembering the circular way these people talk. I prompted her with my eyes.

  My heart tells me mother wants Lunia because she’s thinking about connecting with the land-dwellers. She knows your mother is an administrator. On the land. And your Mom understands their politics. I think she wants to talk to her about how it might be approached.

  Are you serious? This did not seem at all like a good idea to me. I mean, I lived among land people. And I loved them. But there are certain things they are just not to be trusted with. Money. The truth. Your heart. And definitely peace-loving underwater kingdoms out of whom a buck could be made. Then something else occurred to me. I bet that’s why the Triad were harassing Mom tonight, before. I saw them talking to her and they looked pretty cross.

  Lecanora nodded. That sounds right. They would definitely not like my mother bringing someone else in. And they would be particularly angry at it being her. Someone who… I could tell she was choosing her words carefully. Someone who doesn’t live here most of the time.