Secrets That We Keep

by Linda Kage

  “Yes,” she droned dryly. “You caught me. I’m totally stalking you. That’s why I showed up before you did.”

  “All the best stalkers show up before their targets,” I agreed, only to sigh and shake my head, growing serious. “Seriously though, why are you at this theater?”

  If I’d known she was going to be here, I would’ve stayed at my trusty, old, same, close-to-home place.

  Where no one ever took my damn seat.

  “Why do you think?” she countered, bitterly. “I’m avoiding—” Pausing suddenly, she glanced at me, making me think she’d come here for the same reason I had: so we could avoid each other. I grew warm under my shirt until she finished simply with, “Creepy men,” which reminded me—oh yeah—she had been harassed by that scary fucker last time.

  Right. I should’ve considered that before coming here.

  Nodding and playing it all off as casually as I could, I agreed, “Ah, yes. Me too.”

  She lifted her brows as if intrigued. “You’re avoiding creepy men, too, huh?” Reaching her hand into my popcorn bowl before I could even offer her any, she took her own scoop and brought it to her mouth, only to pause and say, “Well, if you weren’t so pretty, you know, they probably wouldn’t hit on you so much.”

  Touché. I wanted to congratulate her for that one. But I merely grinned out a sigh, and answered, “Don’t I know it.” Then I bumped my elbow into hers and tipped my head toward the question on the screen before saying, “Terminator 2.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re only answering the easy ones, so I’ve yet to be impressed by your cinematic knowledge.”

  I shot her an arch look. “Oh, so it’s like that, is it? Fine.” Facing forward to read the next questions, I added, “You’re on.”

  “Um. I don’t recall challenging you to a competition.”

  “Then you weren’t paying attention.” And I immediately called, “Days of Thunder.”

  “Far and Away,” Yellow countered.

  I sniffed, only for the answer to flash across the screen as either Days of Thunder or Far and Away being a correct answer.

  With a frown, I glanced over. “Tie.”

  She rolled her eyes, already focusing on the screen before snapping her fingers and saying, “Tom Hanks.”

  I read the question and sniffed. “So easy.”

  From then on out, it was a race to see who answered first, not just who answered correctly. And when the questions stopped and the theater darkened, I was actually a little irritated about the movie beginning.

  This was getting bad. I think my tiny crush had just grown not-so-tiny.

  When the ending credits rolled, we walked out together.

  “Thank God that one went so much better than the last,” Yellow gushed as we paused to dump our trash. “Because if it had ended up like the other movie, I was going to have to blame you for jinxing the entire filming industry.”

  “Hey!” I cried. “How would it be my fault? I didn’t choose how the last movie ended because, let me tell you right now, it would’ve gone down a totally different way if I’d had a say.”

  Eyes sparkling impishly, she glanced up at me and lifted an eyebrow. “If the movie turns sour every time you sit by me, that’s some bad juju, right there. I’d have to blame you. I mean, who else would there be to blame?”

  “You,” I immediately answered. “It could totally be your fault.”

  Face flushed with a happy glow to let me know she was as fully invested in our banter and enjoying it as much as I was, she sent me a saucy glance under shuttered eyelashes that caused my body to stir with a crazy heat.

  “Except I’m not the one who always abandons my favorite spot to sit by you,” she countered. “You always sit by me. Ergo, it would all be on you. You’re the one causing a shift in the balance.”

  “Oh, ho.” I let out an incredulous laugh and glanced around the darkened parking lot as we pushed our way outside. “You’re going to be that way, huh? Well…” Shaking my head, I naturally followed her toward her car. “I guess, thank God this movie ended up better than the last one, then.”

  Giggling because I could tell she hadn’t expected me to agree with her so quickly, she paused by her car and glanced up at me as she blindly dug through her purse to find her keys. “Wow. It’s nice of you to see reason for once.”

  When a gust of wind brushed past, fluttering some of her hair from her ponytail into her face, the urge to reach out and help her tuck it back out of her way came over me—strong—and I shoved my hands suddenly into my pockets.

  Lifting my shoulders and locking my elbows straight as I pretended to shiver, I took a step back, letting her know I should go.

  She wiped the hair away with a free hand and pulled her other hand from her purse, her keys held securely in her palm. “Well…” She heaved out a large breath. “Thanks. For, you know…” She motioned around us vaguely. “Walking me to my car again.”

  My eyes widened. “Oh, is that what you thought I was doing? Shit, sorry.” With a cringe, I shook my head. “No, I actually did that for me.”

  When her brow furrowed with confusion, I nodded. “That was for my protection. Yeah. See, I was hoping you’d whip out your trusty knee and rack some mugger in the junk if anyone jumped out to rob me.”

  Releasing a grin, she rolled her eyes over my goofball explanation and turned away to unlock her car. “Goodnight, Gracen.”

  “’Night,” I murmured, watching her a moment as she prepared to leave. Panic flooded my system. I didn’t want her to go yet. This might be the last time I ever saw her.

  It should be the last time, but still…

  What if it was actually the last freaking time I saw her?

  I told myself to turn away and go already. But I lingered, watching her open her car door.

  “Oh, hey,” I called, wincing even as she immediately turned back, her eyebrows lifted in question.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid me; I should’ve just let her go. But I couldn’t.

  “So…” I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth before motioning around us—wait, when had my hands escaped my pockets? Should they just be roaming free like that? This didn’t seem safe.

  I cleared my throat, ignoring them as I gave Yellow my attention. “Is this going to become your permanent theater? Because if it is, I guess I’ll return to my old place, then.”

  She stared at me without moving for a full five seconds. Then she shut her car door and took a step in my direction.

  Shit. What was she doing? She seemed animated as she approached. Sparkling with interest. It looked good on her. Too good.

  I stumbled a step in reverse, even as my heart began to beat hard in anticipation.

  “You…” Growing breathless, she paused a moment, swallowed audibly, and then flushed before smiling. “Are you saying you came here tonight just to avoid running into me?”

  Fucking hell, I had pretty much just admitted that, hadn’t I?

  With a sniff of total disdain, however, I sent her an incredulous look. “What? No.”

  Inside my shirt, nervous sweat slithered down the center of my spine.

  Yellow paused, looking suddenly uncertain, but then she studied my face a bit longer and took another decided step in my direction. “Yes, you did. You liked watching that last movie with me but felt guilty about it because of your sister, so you tried to evade me by going to this theater for this movie so you could avoid us having any more fun together.”

  Letting out a nervous laugh, I said, “Wrong again,” even as I backed up some more before accidentally ramming my ass into the side of a truck parked next to her car. Trapped, I could only watch as she stepped even closer and looked into my desperate gaze.

  Her eyes glittered with conquest. “Do I intimidate you, Gracen Lowe?”

  “Yes!” I blurted because, Jesus, wasn’t that incredibly obvious by now? But then, shit, I probably shouldn’t be announcing it so blatantly. “I mean, no.”

  Damn it, I w
as such an awkward moron. No wonder why all the guys constantly teased me, saying I never would’ve lost my virginity if I didn’t have such a pretty mug. I knew I had no game. It was humiliating as hell. But, the levels of ineptitude I exuded around Yellow were worse than usual.

  In front of me, standing entirely too close so that I had to look down at her as she looked up at me, Yellow smiled. She smelled really good as she did it too.

  “I do,” she murmured, absolutely glowing from the realization. “I intimidate you.”

  My distress pleased her.

  More sweat welled, trailing down my temple this time. She moved even closer. I forgot to breathe. Tucking my hands behind me to keep from reaching for her, I whispered, “Stop. Please.”

  She did, only to suck in a long breath as if delighted to hold all this power over me. Then she asked, “But why? How do I—I mean, me of all people—intimidate you? I’m the least daunting person I know.”

  “Yeah, right,” I huffed at the joke, only to realize she wasn’t joking. She honestly didn’t understand. Wrinkling my brow, I said, “You really don’t know?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Because,” I started, only to stop, feeling like an idiot. Then I just blurted it out. “Isn’t it perfectly obvious? I want things I shouldn’t from you.”

  As soon as the words left my tongue, I slapped my hand over my mouth.

  Christ. What the hell was this girl doing to me? Why did I just keep spilling out every fucking thought in my head to her?

  What was worse; she still didn’t get it. Eyebrows furrowing, she shook her head. “What?”

  “I’m starting to like you,” I explained, rolling my hand as I spoke. “Like really like you. Not just watching-movies-together like. And maybe you’re not feeling what I’m feeling here, but—”

  “I am,” she quickly cut in.

  I gulped. Shit.

  “Okay.” I nodded, unable to hold eye contact, lest I’d do something I would regret. Like kiss her. “Well, it’s tempting fate,” I said. “Wanting anything to happen between us is wrong. Even if we never do anything more together, which we won’t, it’s enough to upset Bella if she found out. And I refuse to do anything that would even remotely upset her. So, no. There’s no future here.” I motioned a finger between us. “This—whatever it is—ends here and now.”

  Eyes filling with uncertainty, she sank a step away and shook her head. “But all we did was watch a movie together,” she tried.

  I slowly dropped my hand, giving her a look that disagreed.

  With a quick roll of her eyes, she corrected, “Okay, two movies.”

  “It’s more than that,” I said softly. “And you know it.”

  Her expression drooped so quickly she looked utterly chastised. “Fine. I know. I just…” With a thick swallow, she winced. “We haven’t done anything wrong, though. It’s been extremely innocent between us.”

  “And it stays that way,” I insisted. “So we stop now before something moves past innocent.”

  Her shoulders slumped. Eyes turning glassy as if she might start crying any moment, she nodded and began to turn away, only to stop, pause, and swing back to me. “So if I’m never going to see you again,” she rushed the words as if she had to say them fast or she’d lose her nerve to say them at all. “Can I ask one small favor of you first, before you go?”

  Eyeing her warily, I hissed out a breath because I already knew I wasn’t going to like whatever it was she asked, just as I knew I would probably grant her the wish, anyway.

  “What’s that?” I said, my voice low and strained.

  Eyes huge and afraid, she flicked her tongue quickly over dry lips before blurting, “Can I hug you?”

  “Hug me?” Yeah, she should’ve just socked me straight in the gut. It wouldn’t have left any less of an impact on my breathing and it would’ve been a hell of a lot easier to take.

  But a hug? A fucking hug?

  That was almost worse than asking if we could have a quickie in the backseat of her car. Sex could be impersonal, groping hands, hungry kisses, bodies bumping. Just a basic need being satisfied.

  Hugs contained affection, comfort, emotion, a sense of goodwill offered between both parties. You could not be impersonal with a hug.

  So I said, “What?” to prolong the inevitable from happening.

  But damn her, she started to repeat the question. “Can I—”

  I couldn’t handle hearing her ask it a second time, so I blurted, “Why?”

  She froze and stared at me, her breathing beginning to pick up. “I, uh, I’d rather not tell you,” she finally murmured. When my brows puckered in confusion, she sighed. “It’s just a test. For myself,” she was quick to add. “Kind of a self-therapy thing, so it pretty much has nothing to do with you. I only want to find out something about me when I do it. And then I’ll stop. Okay?”

  “Um…” It seemed important to her to find out whatever it was she wanted to know. So I found myself saying, “Okay, but I won’t hug you back.”

  Her gaze flashed with hope as she looked up at me. If anything, my unwillingness to participate pleased her even more. “That’s alright,” she assured quickly. “I’ll take care of the whole thing. You just stand there and let me do my test.”

  Then she stepped toward me, only to pause uneasily, when—as promised—I did nothing to cooperate with her plans. Reaching behind me blindly, I clutched the tailgate of the truck I was still leaning against and watched as she lifted her arms, then dropped them slightly, and frowned as she contemplated my body.

  “Er…” I could read every thought in her head as she decided how to go about this. Then she muttered, “Dear Lord, it’s like I’ve forgotten how it’s done or something.”

  “The opening-the-arms bit was a good start,” I offered.

  She sent me an irritated scowl because, yeah, I’d been teasing her. Then she pretty much just launched herself at me, colliding against my chest as her arms lassoed me, pinning me to the truck.

  “Oomph…” I sputtered, the wind momentarily knocked from my lungs.

  But then she eased, relaxing her muscles and loosening her grip as she turned her face sideways to press her ear against the base of my throat and tuck her head just under my chin.

  Her pulse was rapid, like a frightened bird’s, and her arms trembled slightly, but she seemed determined to keep holding on to me.

  Another second passed before I began to relax against her warmth, taking in the press of her breasts against my ribs and her hip bone in my thigh.

  Finally, I tipped my face down just enough to exhale against the top of her head. The scent of her shampoo wavered up my nostrils.

  Closing my eyes, I pressed my cheek to her hair. And before I knew it, my hands had let go of the truck and my arms were wrapping slowly around her in return.

  She sighed against me, saying nothing as she told me how pleased she was.

  What followed was the longest hug known to mankind. Guinness might’ve even sat up and taken notice. It probably lasted fifteen minutes or more, and we didn’t do anything other than simply hold each other, maybe sometimes gently swaying back and forth or slipping a hand down the other’s back.

  No words were spoken or promises were made.

  We just…hugged.

  When she was done, she released a breath, patted my back twice in thanks, and unlocked her arms from around me before taking a step back.

  My arms immediately felt empty without her in them.

  I looked down at her, not sure how to deal with this strange vulnerable and exposed sensation that was creeping over me. But all she did was smile softly as if she understood.

  “Thank you, Gracen.”

  Then she turned away, got into her car, and left.

  I remained standing there, long after she was gone, wondering what had just happened.

  I felt changed.

  And strangely, it didn’t feel like a bad, deceitful, I-just-betrayed-my-sister kind of change.
<
br />   I felt like a better person inside.

  Chapter Eight

  Bella

  MEANWHILE, ACROSS TOWN

  Bentley never made any pregnancy or miscarriage announcements to the family. And waiting for her to share any news was killing me, so I threw together an impromptu girls’ night, and I invited all the moms too, meaning Bentley would have no excuse not to come without revealing something.

  With twenty people set to show up in less than an hour, my mom arrived early to help me prepare.

  “I’m so glad you did this.” She patted my back in approval. “I’m beyond ready for some girl time. Your father’s been relentless with trying to come up with a birthday present. I’m not even turning a big, important number, either. So I have no idea what his deal is. Honestly, I’d just as soon forget I’m so old.”

  “Come on, Mom. Dad’s known what to get you every other year. Except for this one, and you’re giving him nothing.”

  “Because I can’t think of anything I want.”

  “Then make something up,” I told her. “Because he’s driving me and Gray crazy right along with you. Put us all out of our miseries and say something. I mean, after all these years, the man only wants to lavish you with gifts and worship the ground you walk on. I say let him.”

  Mom stared at me a moment, until she finally said, “You know what; you’re right.” Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, she pulled me in tight for a side-hug. “I raised such a wise and wonderful daughter.”

  “Yes, I know,” I said with a nod, then had to laugh at myself because the last thing I felt most of the time was wise or wonderful. “Now let’s get to business and try to remember where I stashed my foot massage tub and facial mask collection after I hosted the last girls’ night.”

  Half an hour later, I had a full house, Bentley included. When her mom, Felicity, arrived before her, I’d been very nonchalant and chill about saying, “Oh, Bentley didn’t come with you?” All the while, I was thinking, What the hell? She better freaking show. I threw this whole damn party just to get her here.