If I Can't Let Go (Mills & Boon Spice)

by BETH KERY

  His pressing body tensed before his mouth swooped downward. Natalie met him halfway for the kiss, feeling a shock go through her at the impact as the coil of their combined restraint sprung free.

  His low, vibrating groan thrilled her. His kiss consumed her.

  His hands lowered to her hips. He lifted her. She continued to kiss him as if her life depended on that electric, ephemeral thread lacing them together. Her bottom hit the kitchen counter with a gentle thud. He slid her along the slick surface toward him. His mouth felt hot on her throat. His gruff voice penetrated her awareness. He sounded a little desperate.

  “Natalie, I want to be careful with you, I want to go easy, but—”

  “I don’t want easy. I don’t want careful. Please don’t hold back. I need the opposite from you. I need it so much.”

  It wasn’t until that moment she realized it was true. Liam’s attraction toward her, his need, had brought her to life somehow…sanctified her.

  She seized his mouth with her own. The increasingly familiar fog of sensuality encapsulated her, and she forgot everything but Liam…

  Everything but this.

  Liam threatened to keep her hostage in bed instead of attending the Family Center fundraiser the following afternoon.

  “Don’t be selfish,” she remonstrated as she’d pulled free of his arms, reluctant as she was to do so. “Mari would be disappointed if you didn’t go.”

  “She’d be disappointed if you didn’t, as well.”

  She glanced back at the sound of his low rumble. It’d been nothing less than an amazing experience being intimate with Liam during this sensual feast of a weekend. He was at times a gentle lover, at times demanding…always masterful. Her wholehearted responsiveness amazed her just as much. It was difficult to say who was more pleased by her tendency to lose all self-consciousness when making love: Liam or herself.

  He lay there in bed, one arm resting on the pillow behind him. He wore nothing but the leather woven bracelet around his wrist, the heavy-lidded look of a well-satisfied man, and a sheet, which succeeded in covering pretty much nothing. Her gaze lingered longingly on the expanse of his ridged, sleek torso.

  She turned away with difficulty.

  “I don’t attend these functions, usually. Mari wouldn’t miss me, but she’d miss you. So come on, slacker,” she teased, pulling on the sheet that barely draped Liam. He leaped out of bed like a lion, nabbed her, and sent her into a fit of laughter.

  What’d followed had delayed them getting ready for the fundraiser by a half hour, but Natalie wasn’t complaining.

  “Liam?” she called as she walked down the stairs after her shower, running a brush through her hair.

  She heard him talking in the distance, but it wasn’t to her. As she neared the kitchen, she realized he was on the phone. A notebook and his laptop sat before him on the kitchen table. She hesitated in the entryway between the dining room and kitchen, unsure if she should disturb him. He looked up and saw her standing there. He beckoned to her with his hand as he continued to talk.

  “You don’t need to apologize, Ellen. I just appreciate you calling back. I hope you had a good trip.” He gestured to his iced tea with upraised eyebrows while Ellen spoke, but Natalie shook her head and sat at the table across from him. “I figured that as his administrative assistant, you were the best person to ask about anything that stood out as unusual about my dad during those last days.”

  A few seconds later, Liam ended the conversation and hung up the phone.

  “Your father’s assistant at Langford?” Natalie asked.

  “Yes. I would have talked to her sooner, but she’s been on vacation in Italy. She told me that Dad was definitely preoccupied and withdrawn at work the week of the crash. First thing on Tuesday morning, he’d insisted she try to locate an old friend of his—Evan Mulonovic. I kind of remember Mulonovic. He was one of those old friends of my father’s whose name popped up once in a while,” Liam explained in a distracted manner as he tapped his fingers rapidly on the keyboard of the computer. He paused for a second, his face sober and his blue eyes intent on the screen, before he resumed. “Ellen said she was able to locate Mulonovic and book a lunch meeting for them on that Tuesday.”

  “That was the day of the crash,” Natalie said in a hushed tone.

  “Yeah. According to Ellen, my dad went straight to Harbor Town after that lunch. It says here that Dr. Mulonovic was a pediatrician—a pediatric geneticist, to be exact. He worked at Children’s Memorial Hospital.”

  “What, Liam?” Natalie asked when he suddenly cursed under his breath.

  “So much for questioning Mulonovic about anything significant during that lunch meeting. It says here he died of a heart attack a year ago.”

  Chapter Twelve

  They discussed the phone call with Ellen on the way to the fundraiser. By the time he pulled into the field designated for parking next to the Family Center, neither of them had made any sense of the puzzling information.

  Most of the regular parking lot was being used for other activities for the fundraiser. The sounds of a party reached his ears: music from a small band, children’s hoots of laughter, the buzz of conversation. As they got out of the car, Liam saw information booths, an inflatable bounce house, and ring toss and bottle throw for prizes. Colleen had bribed Tony Tejada, Harbor Town’s mayor, with the use of her boat for a week in order to get him into the dunking machine. He noticed his nephew, Brendan, wearing swim trunks running fleetly through the grass, only to go down on one hip. Natalie gasped in alarm, but then Brendan glided like a hockey puck on ice for twenty-five feet.

  Liam laughed and took her hand. “That was Marc’s idea. You can’t lose with the kids when you’ve got a Slip ’N Slide.”

  Natalie’s smile looked a little shaky as she surveyed the crowd. He paused in the parking area and squeezed her hand.

  “Do you really want to do this?” he asked her quietly while he examined her reaction.

  She looked amazing in a pair of form-fitting jeans and a turquoise tunic that highlighted both her dancer’s lithe figure and healthy tan. The breeze blew a tendril of hair on to her cheek. He hooked it with his finger and drew it back. He’d asked her to wear it down earlier when he’d seen her start to twist it into a bun. She’d complied readily enough, but now he was feeling a little guilty for asking. She should have the right to go out into public any way she damn well felt comfortable.

  “I’m fine,” Natalie replied, sounding a little breathless.

  Liam suddenly had an urge to hustle her back in the car and take her back to the cottage, where they could resume their idyllic weekend. He still had about a million things he wanted to discover about her, and he was sure he’d have another million by the time the weekend was through. Every new discovery was magic—like that she loved John Wayne movies, and cheese curls, and that she made the sweetest sigh when he kissed the side of her left knee. When he’d asked her half teasingly, half in total earnest what her best dance move was, she’d laughed and rolled her eyes. When he’d persisted in getting an answer, she’d told him an arabesque, which meant absolutely nothing to him. Upon more wheedling, she’d shown him the position—her body supported on one leg, the other extended behind her as if she did a split in midair.

  The woman was amazing.

  He was about to suggest they ditch the fundraiser when Mari Kavanaugh approached, looking beautiful in a pink dress and sandals.

  “Liam! There you are. I was just telling Tony Tejada you’d be here. He said next year the citizens of Harbor Town could line up and act out their aggression on the new police chief instead of the mayor. He was a bit tetchy when he said it,” Mari said.

  “A bit wet, you mean,” Liam replied with a grin.

  Mari stopped dead in her tracks, her brandy-colored eyes going wide when she saw who stood next to him. “Natalie. Oh my God!” Mari rushed her for a hug. “I can’t believe you came. Oh, I’m so glad.”

  It both pleased him and made fee
l a little sad to see how surprised Mari was that Natalie had attended the public event. He realized Natalie hadn’t been at the opening ceremony for the Family Center last year. If she had, he would have noticed her.

  Simple as that.

  Mari backed out of the hug and glanced dubiously between Natalie and Liam.

  “What is going on here?” she asked, half mock-stern and half pleased as punch.

  “Come on, Mari. I’ve never known you to be so slow on the uptake,” Liam said as he gave his sister-in-law a kiss on the cheek. He noticed Eric Reyes next to the dunking booth, talking to his seven-year-old niece, Jenny, of all people. Eric had noticed Liam and Natalie’s arrival. Liam hoped at the very least that he kept his expression as neutral as Eric’s. He didn’t want to ruin this for Natalie, especially when she was so nervous about making a public appearance.

  “Where’s that husband of yours? Already campaigning to be senator?” Liam asked Mari.

  Mari looked surprised. “Did Marc tell you about that?”

  “No. I have my sources of information,” Liam said mysteriously. He noticed Mari’s bemused expression, and admitted, “I actually read about the party showing interest in making Marc their candidate for senator in the Chicago Tribune.”

  “Really? Is Marc going to run for senator, Mari?” Natalie asked in surprise.

  Mari shook her head. “No…I don’t think so. The party interest came out of nowhere. It’s flattering, but he loves his job as a state prosecutor too much. Marc’s not going to be at all pleased when you tell him there was mention made of it in the newspaper, Liam. You should tell him about the story going public. He took Rylee into the Center. She was getting fussy in the heat and started squalling so loud she sent a whole flock of sparrows flying out of a tree in terror.”

  Liam grinned. “That’s my girl.”

  “Oh—hi, Eric! Look who’s here,” Mari greeted Eric Reyes brightly.

  “Is Mom here, Mari?” Liam asked quietly while Natalie and Eric hugged and talked. “I need to have a word with her.”

  “She’s inside with Marc and Rylee. I’m going to take Natalie to show her the fountain,” Mari added in a confidential undertone.

  He gave her an amused look. “Don’t you be harassing Natalie. If you want to interrogate someone about us showing up here together, you can ask me.”

  “You make it sound like there’s something significant to ask about in regard to you two,” Mari said.

  “Maybe there is.”

  Something indefinable flickered across Mari’s features. He recognized it as concern when she gave Natalie a furtive glance. She grabbed his arm and pulled him several feet away for privacy.

  “I hadn’t expected this,” she said.

  “Why?” Liam asked bluntly. He was getting sort of sick of people acting like the idea of Natalie and he together was so bizarre. He recalled his uncertainties on the night before he’d made love to Natalie for the first time, however, and he had to admit…maybe the people who cared for Natalie did have some reason for concern.

  Mari bit her lower lip and spoke in a low voice. “You’ve never been much of a one-woman man, Liam. I’m not criticizing,” she said quickly when he opened his mouth to protest. “How you run your love life is your business. It’s just… Natalie is very vulnerable…”

  “Do you think I don’t realize that? Don’t worry, Mari,” Liam said quietly. “Please.”

  She studied his face with sharp eyes and smiled. “All right. I won’t, if you’re sure, and I can see that you are.” Turning, she walked back toward Natalie. “I want to show you the fountain,” Mari said, taking Natalie’s hand in a sisterly gesture. “You haven’t seen it yet.”

  “Will you be okay with Mari for a few minutes while I go speak to my mom?” Liam asked Natalie, his voice low. Eric had turned to talk to Allison Trainer, the manager of the Family Center. Liam thought Natalie’s brother might be avoiding him, but he couldn’t fault Eric for wanting to maintain peace.

  “Of course,” Natalie assured.

  He had a moment’s trepidation at leaving her in a crowd. It was quashed when he saw how comfortable she seemed, chatting with Mari as they walked toward the promontory of the Silver Dune and the memorial fountain Marc had donated to the Family Center last year.

  Liam headed toward the Center and his mother, the increasingly familiar combination of dread and determination rising in him.

  Natalie left Eric and Mari at the silent auction and went in search of Liam. He’d seemed thoughtful…intense, ever since that phone call from his father’s old administrative assistant. When he’d said a while ago he was going to speak to his mother, she couldn’t help but feel some trepidation. She didn’t want to run into Brigit Kavanaugh necessarily, but she was concerned enough to go in search of him.

  She ran into Marc Kavanaugh carrying his daughter at the entrance to the Family Center. Liam and his elder brother looked a lot alike, but she found Marc more intimidating for some reason.

  He stared at her in surprise.

  “Natalie? It’s so great to see you,” Marc said, leaning down to give her a kiss of greeting. Rylee must have thought she was undergoing a person-to-person transfer, because she put her chubby arms around Natalie’s neck, and the next thing she knew, the adorable little girl was in her arms.

  “Whoops…sorry. I’m a little worried about her, she’s so shy,” Marc said amusedly as his daughter proceeded to stroke Natalie’s hair and stare at her with huge brown eyes framed by thick, dark lashes.

  “Pitty,” Rylee said with sober earnestness.

  “Thank you,” Natalie responded instantly before she grinned, utterly charmed. “Oh, she’s adorable.”

  Rylee grabbed a fistful of the “pitty” hair and tugged. Marc was there to unclench the little fist immediately.

  “I better take her back before you think she’s about as adorable as Attila the Hun.”

  “I’m fine,” Natalie assured, laughing. But when Rylee went for another handful of hair, Marc swooped the little girl back into his arms.

  “Are you looking for Liam?” Marc asked.

  Something about the way he asked the question made Natalie think Liam had spoken to his brother about her.

  “I was, yes,” she said.

  Rylee waved an arm toward the crowd and said something that sounded like “Enny.”

  “He’s inside,” Marc said a little distractedly as his daughter continued to wave her arm.

  “Enny,” Rylie repeated more energetically.

  “Okay, okay. We’ll go find your cousin Jenny. Sorry,” he told Natalie. “I’m nothing more than her highness’s chariot. I move at her command. It’s good to see you here, Natalie.”

  “Thanks. I’ll see you later. ’Bye Rylee.”

  Rylee watched her with big eyes over her father’s broad shoulder as they walked away. Natalie smiled and entered the air-conditioned interior of the Family Center. She couldn’t help but think that Marc didn’t seem half as imposing or intimidating when he held his daughter in his arms.

  Natalie had been inside the Family Center several times to do some bookkeeping and other paperwork. She usually came during regular business hours, so she wasn’t used to the silence that reigned at the moment. Now that she’d entered the premises, she started to realize how intrusive it might seem for her to interrupt Liam and his mother. She paused in the hallway, feeling uncertain. She started when Liam spoke, his voice much closer than she’d expected.

  “You knew him, didn’t you? You knew Lincoln DuBois.”

  Her heart seemingly leaped into her throat when a closed office door just three feet away from her jostled in the catch, as if someone had just leaned on it…or placed a hand on it, preventing it from opening?

  “Don’t walk away,” she heard Liam’s quiet voice warn.

  “Who do you think you are, asking me these questions?” Brigit Kavanaugh spoke for the first time, her voice cold with fury.

  “I’m your son. I’m Derry’s son, too. And
I have every right to ask about Lincoln DuBois after seeing Dad’s reaction to him on that videotape. DuBois grew up in South Lake Tahoe. So did you, Mom. You went to the same private high school for two years before grandpa got transferred to Chicago. He’s a famous man—a billionaire I don’t know how many times over. You’d think you would have mentioned at least once that you went to school together. Are you still going to deny knowing him?”

  “I’m not denying anything,” Brigit replied.

  “So you’re admitting you did?” Liam asked slowly. “Why didn’t you ever mention it before?”

  “Why would I? He means nothing to me. He was a childhood friend,” Brigit spat.

  “Why did he mean so much to Dad, then?” Liam persisted.

  Natalie had slowly started to back out of the hallway, but her feet kept stalling. She knew she was intruding on a charged, private conversation, but her curiosity seemed to glue her shoes to the floor.

  “Stop it, Liam. I’ve told you half a dozen times now that I’m not going to play this game with you. I’ve never seen you behave this way. You’re acting like a spoiled brat.”

  “You’re acting like someone who has a secret,” Liam returned so quickly, so coldly, that Natalie’s feet came to a dead halt.

  The silence that followed was so tense—so awful—that Natalie cringed inwardly.

  “What if I do have a secret?” Brigit finally said. “That doesn’t mean you have the right to harass me about it. Maybe I’m keeping that secret because you’re my son, and I don’t want to burden you with it. Do you have so little faith in me? Why would you automatically assume I’m keeping something from my children with malicious intent? Do you really think that poorly of me?”

  “I don’t think you’re being malicious. If you kept something from us when we were kids, I can understand that,” Liam replied, sounding vaguely contrite now. “But we’re not kids anymore, Ma. If you know why Dad was so upset on the night of the crash, why don’t you tell me? You don’t have to shoulder the truth alone. At least tell me what Lincoln DuBois has to do with anything.”