Tied to You

by Bibi Paterson

  The water has cooled and I start to shiver, so Alex hauls us both out the tub and into the shower. The cubicle is soon full of steam and the jets get to work on muscles that have been used more in the last twenty-four hours than in the last decade. Alex grins at me as he lathers up some delicious smelling shower gel in his hands before smoothing them gently across my weary body. I lean against the wall as Alex washes me thoroughly, even bending down to part my swollen sex lips and giving them a once-over. He soaps up his own body and then pulls me into his embrace under the shower head, his lips brushing mine lightly, as the cascade of water rinses us.

  If I was ever in doubt of Alex’s feelings for me, then that kiss would be the thing to dispel them. Tenderness washes through me as we make out for what feels like forever. Eventually, the water runs cool and we both jump apart. We step out of the cubicle giggling and moments later Alex wraps a gigantic warm towel around my frame before slinging one around his hips. I realise that I have nothing down here and let Alex know that I need to go upstairs to my suite to get dressed. He nods and, surprisingly, follows me up the stairs.

  I make my way through the small living area towards my bedroom, which has its own walk-in wardrobe. Alex follows me, flinging himself on my bed and watching my movements wordlessly, whilst I go through my meagre collection of clothes, looking for something comfy to wear.

  “Liv?” Alex asks softly. “Is that all you got in there?” he says, gesturing to the small rack of dresses that I bought for his functions.

  Suddenly I feel really embarrassed that he has caught me out. Despite Alex’s very generous monthly deposits into the bank account that he set up for me, I never felt that I could spend the money on something as frivolous as clothes. Instead, I had set up standing orders for several charities that I feel strongly about, and the rest is just sitting there, adding up. Now that I no longer had the expense of my mother’s care hanging over me, the money I earned from my job was enough for me to buy clothes for work and a few luxuries, as well as being able to put some extra aside. The rest of the time I lounged in years-old broken-in jeans and long-sleeved T-shirts.

  “Um, yeah,” I respond as Alex stalks into the closet, opening drawers and examining the contents.

  “Liv, you deserve to be dressed like a princess,” Alex says earnestly.

  I shrug at this strange statement. Suddenly he is pulling me into his arms and staring down on me intently. “You are mine, Liv, and everything of mine is yours. You deserve to be spoilt and pampered, yet you take nothing.”

  “Oh, Alex, I don’t need clothes,” I say. He picks up an old cardigan that I use for mooching at home in and holds it up, examining the holes in the sleeves with an arch of his eyebrow. I snatch it off him, exclaiming, “I don’t go out in that. Besides, it was my mother’s.”

  “Whatever, Liv. I think we need to take you shopping.” I studiously ignore him, hoping that he will drop the subject. I pick out a pair of functional cotton panties and a matching bra, before pulling on a pair of soft black jeans, a long white shirt and a thin canary-yellow cardigan, gifts that Alex gave me at Christmas. Today I feel like dressing for him. Going back out into the bedroom, I sit at the table, where I rough-dry my hair and add a touch of makeup. Not once do Alex’s eyes leave me, and he has a strange look on his face.

  I am just turning my head round to smile at Alex when my stomach lets out the most almighty grumble. I giggle and Alex lets out a loud chuckle. “Right, time for some food. Let’s go out,” Alex suggests, and I smile in agreement. “Meet you downstairs in five,” Alex says before heading back to his own room to get dressed.

  ~~~~~~~~

  We are sitting in Bluebird on the King’s Road, just around the corner from the house. Breakfast has been ordered and I am sipping on a cup of tea gratefully, having never actually gotten around to drinking the one Alex brought me in the bath. Away from the house and Alex’s ‘distractions’, my head is bursting with questions. I think it is the researcher part of me that means I am never fully satisfied until I have covered all my bases.

  Alex sits back, appraising me. “Talk to me, Liv. What’s going through that mind of yours? I can see the cogs turning.”

  I stare at the table, picking at the serviette, knowing that I might be opening a whole can of worms that I shouldn’t. I take a deep breath. “Alex, what happens now? I mean, you have subs, don’t you? I guess what I’m trying to say is, where the hell do I fit in this?”

  “Look at me, Liv,” Alex instructs, and I tear my eyes off the table. “Okay, firstly I don’t really have a sub.” My eyebrows raise but leave him to continue. “What I mean is there are a lot of Dominant/submissive couples that only play together, regardless of whether they are a couple in real life. Do you understand what I mean?” I nod in response. “At The Club, there are a number of subs who are happy to play with a variety of Doms. I travel so much that it has never appealed to me to have my own sub. Instead, I would see who was available, and if they wanted to play, then we would.

  “At The Club, every person, Dom or sub, has a profile written about them detailing preferences, limits and so forth, so you get an idea of who you are compatible with. Plus the owner makes it his business to ensure that everyone is matched up correctly. It is all safe, sane and consensual, you get me?” I nod again, doing my best to absorb everything he is telling me. “Over the years, I have gotten to know the subs, and in turn they have gotten to know me. I have a couple of favourites who enjoy the kind of pain I dish out, but there is no exclusivity or anything, and I certainly don’t have any relationship with them outside the scene.”

  “Oh,” I say softly. I can see from the openness in Alex’s expression that he is telling me the truth. “I didn’t like it!” I blurt out suddenly. “The caning. It was too much and I know that I could never do it again.” I feel a shudder run through my body at the memories flooding through me. “I did it because I wanted to help you, but I know that I am not strong enough to do it again.” I realise that I am babbling and take a deep breath and close my eyes, forcing myself to calm down.

  I feel a hand envelop mine on the table and I open my eyes to find myself looking into Alex’s eyes, eyes that are filled with compassion. “Oh, Liv, I would never, ever do anything to you that you did not want. Do you understand?” Tears fill my eyes and I bob my head in response.

  “But I will never be enough for you if I can’t give you that,” I say sadly, the thought that has been buried deep in my subconscious finally coming to the surface.

  “Oh, Liv,” Alex says, running a hand through his tousled hair. “Liv, listen to me. I am going to be completely honest with you. I have been to The Club exactly twice since we got back from Australia. The first time was after you discovered the playroom and seemed so disgusted with me. I needed to reaffirm with myself everything I believed to be true. The second time was last week.”

  My heart sinks at the thought of Alex having sex with someone else after my experience with the flogger. My horror must show in my face because Alex quickly clarifies, “Nothing happened, Liv. I was so confused about my feelings towards you that I just needed to escape and find a bit of serenity. When I got there, Jessica, who has always been one of my favourites, approached me to do a scene. I had her tied to a St Andrew’s cross, her arse all rosy, but all I could see was you in my head. After a couple minutes, I knew I couldn’t go through with it and had to hand Jessica off to one of the other Doms. That’s when I knew…” I hold my breath as I wait a beat for him to continue. “Knew that you were it for me.”

  My tears are openly falling down my face, my hand gripping tightly onto Alex’s. “I am as unsure as you where we go from here, but I can tell you this. For the first time in my life, vanilla sex was fucking awesome.” His words make me giggle and I swipe away the tears with my napkin, his revelation filling my heart with hope. “For so long, love and sex had to be separate in my life, Liv. The only way sex could satisfy was if it was brutal. Yet here I am, wanting to make love to you over
and over, like a man in the desert longs for a drink of water.”

  The waiter approaches with our food and we break apart with a smile. I glance down at my eggs royale and realise that I am ravenous. Alex reads my thoughts and smirks at me as I dig in like it is my last meal ever. The eggs have been poached to perfection and the hollandaise sauce makes my mouth water. Alex attacks his own full English with equal vigour and for a while there is silence as we savour our food.

  When every morsel has been cleared and Alex declares himself stuffed, we resume our conversation. “Alex, just so you know, if you need to go to The Club because you need it, please just tell me, okay? I couldn’t bear it if we had secrets like that between us.”

  “Liv, your trust in me is the most precious thing in the world. I would never, ever do anything to abuse that, you hear?” I nod as I see the truth shining out of his eyes.

  “Also…” I take a gulp before I speak, my words hardly above a whisper, “I don’t think I could ever be a slave. I started reading about that and, argh, that is so not my thing!” I see Alex holding in a laugh.

  “It’s not mine either, Liv. I have no desire to dominate you in real life. You have seen where I come from…Do you think any female I grew up with would have allowed me to tell them what to do?” I think of the forces of nature that are Alex’s mother and his sister, Nadia, and I find myself grinning. “No, for me, it is purely sexual,” he says. “Look, I think maybe we both need to sit down and work out some guidelines so we can find the parameters we are both comfortable with.” I raise an eyebrow in response, a million questions running through my mind.

  “Like, for example, if you are agreeable, then in the playroom I would like you to submit to me fully, call me sir…” Oh my, I think to myself, as a delicious heat starts pooling between my thighs. “But in the bedroom, that’s just Alex and Liv. What do you think about that?”

  “Is that why you only call me Olivia when we are in the playroom?” I ask the question that has been burning inside of me for some time. I have always found it a little strange that the only time Alex ever calls me by my full name is when he is in full-on Dom mode.

  “Hmm, I have never really thought about that but, yeah, I guess it helps me to separate things in my mind,” Alex says.

  My cheeks are flushed and I can see Alex appraising my body language knowingly, a sexy smirk on his face. I nod and duck my face down, feeling shy all of a sudden. A finger hooks under my chin and once again I am looking into Alex’s smouldering eyes. “Liv,” he says softly, “your submission is the greatest gift you could ever give me, and believe me when I say that I will treasure it always.” I gulp down a breath, suddenly feeling light-headed and starved of oxygen.

  “Oh, Liv, this is just the beginning…”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I lean my head against the cold window of the train carriage and sigh. I am exhausted. It has been two days since I got the call from Charles that interrupted my brunch with Alex and I was forced to cut our day short. Charles had received a call about one of the most challenging books we have been trying to trace. A private collector in France was offering it up for purchase and so, of course, Charles expected me to go at the drop of a hat, even though I was supposedly ‘sick’.

  So here I am, after an excruciating forty-eight hours, returning empty-handed to a furious Charles. It’s not my fault that the manuscript was a fake, a very good one at that, which is why it took me ages to verify, but that doesn’t stop Charles from behaving like a brat when things don’t go his way. It didn’t help either that the owner of the document was indignant when I told him that it was a forgery and threw me out of his house, calling me a liar and a charlatan. At least that’s what I understood from my school-time French. I rub my forehead, trying to ease the tension headache that I feel forming behind my eyes, as I wait for the Eurostar to pull into St Pancras International so that I can go home, get into a nice hot bath and maybe have hot sex with my husband. It is Saturday after all.

  Finally, the train pulls into the station and I am grabbing my small case off the shelf before that train has even ground to a halt. As I step off, I glance around to find the exit when I suddenly hear my name being called. My head whips around to find Alex, leaning against a railing casually, looking disturbingly handsome in his long black coat and the grey scarf I gave him for Christmas. Before I know it, my feet are carrying me towards him and I fling myself into his open arms, nuzzling into his chest. I feel safe. I feel like I am home. Alex’s strong arms envelop me and I feel his fingers running through my hair. “I have missed you, Liv,” Alex murmurs into my hair, before tilting my chin up and bringing his mouth down onto mine in the sweetest of kisses.

  I break off the kiss so that I can look Alex in the eye. “I missed you too, Alex. What are you doing anyway? I was going to grab a taxi.”

  “I didn’t want to wait. Besides I have good news, so we are celebrating,” he tells me, picking up by the waist and swinging me around as if I weigh nothing, causing me to break out into a fit of giggles. Before I can say anything else, Alex grabs my hand and leads me across to the champagne bar and snags us a couple of seats on a banquette. As I sink down onto the leather, I feel a pleasant warmth beneath my bum and realise that the seats are, in fact, heated. Lovely!

  “So what are we celebrating?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

  “I’ll tell you in a moment. But first things first…” Alex trails off before ordering a bottle of the Krug Grande Cuvée Brut, from the waitress who appears instantly at the touch of a button. Yes, they actually have a ‘Press for Champagne’ button which makes me smirk. I study the beautiful vaulted ceiling and the art deco lamps that create a lovely ambiance in what is actually a bustling train station while we wait.

  “So here’s the thing,” Alex starts, his voice low. “I met with your father today.” Instantly my spine stiffens but I wait for him in silence to continue. “Since his visit to my office, I have had a private investigator digging into his past and it turned up some really interesting things.”

  “Like?” I ask, my curiosity piqued.

  “Like the fact that he has actually been in the States for the last ten years and only moved back to the UK a few months ago, to escape some major charges of fraud. When I confronted him about that, he freely admitted that he had lied and had not actually been keeping tabs on you. The first he knew about us was when he received an anonymous package with the pictures, along with info about our wedding that my sister posted on Facebook. I get the feeling that whoever took those pictures is looking to get to me and probably did some digging on you and found the perfect target.”

  “So what does all this mean?” I ask, hesitant about how much I really want to know.

  “Well, I did some bargaining of my own. Told your father that if he handed over the pictures then I wouldn’t go to the US authorities and let them know where he is. He seemed quite happy with that deal,” Alex finishes off sarcastically.

  “That’s one problem solved but it still doesn’t solve the issue of there being pictures in the first place.” Alex’s expression darkens for a moment at my words but clears as the waitress brings the bottle of champagne along with a couple of glasses.

  “I think we need to celebrate. The rest is being looked into but tonight we can toast that we have at least won the battle.” ,” Alex says, pouring out the champagne in both glasses.

  “Um, Alex, I think you are forgetting something. I don’t drink,” I say softly.

  “Liv, it is time to put this in the past. Your father is out of your life and you don’t ever have to worry about him again. I would never let him anywhere near you. I am not asking you to drink the whole bottle. Just have a taste and see if you can work your way past the fear.”

  I know it is completely irrational to have held on to this for all this time, but I have only to think back to that night, and him screaming in my face, to smell the wine fumes that make my stomach roll. I steel myself knowing that it is time to p
ull on my big-girl panties. As the Aussies would say, ‘Suck it up, princess’.

  “Okay, just a sip. But if I don’t like it, then…” I trail off, not wanting to hurt Alex’s feelings.

  “Then nothing. I am never going to force you to do anything you don’t want, Liv. I promise. But it is not in my nature to not challenge you and push your boundaries,” he adds with a knowing smirk. I hold up my champagne glass and move it forward to touch Alex’s with the softest of ‘clinks’. I take a tiny sip, waiting for the taste in my mouth to trigger the usual awful memories. But instead all I experience is the fizz of the bubbles with a zesty lemon note.

  “Mmm,” I say, savouring the flavour.

  “Mmm good?” Alex asks, his brow arching and lips twitching in a barely suppressed smile.

  “Delicious,” I say, taking a bigger sip this time.

  “Well then, only the finest champagne in the future for you, Liv,” Alex retorts with a laugh.

  I take it slowly, knowing that I am not used to drinking, but even so, by the time the glass is half empty, I can definitely feel its effects. I am giggly and flirty and I can see that Alex definitely has a twinkle in his eye as my hand brushes across his cock through his dark grey jeans accidentally.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here,” Alex says, glancing at his watch. “Time to take you shopping like we were supposed to the other day before your boss so rudely interrupted your day of skiving off.”

  “Alex, you’ve got to be kidding,” I say. “Let’s just go home. I feel grotty from the train and need a bath.”

  “I have plans for you, Liv. And I have an appointment arranged for you, so we are going. Or do I have to spank your arse?” Oh my, that tone makes me instantly wet, and I can feel the flush rising up my neck. I nod my acquiescence and let him lead me out of the station and into a taxi where he murmurs our location to the driver, too low for me to hear. The journey whizzes by. The sexual tension rolling off of Alex is palpable, making me somewhat nervous. He is constantly touching me, running his long fingers over my jean-clad legs and burying them in my crazy hair. At one point, he leans in to suckle my neck, and damn it if the arousal inside me doesn’t become an all-out burning inferno.