A Wilder Name

by Laura Resnick

  “You can’t still be hungry?” Luke said incredulously.

  “What?” Nina nearly jumped out of her skin when he interrupted her thoughts.

  “Take it easy. I don’t mind, I’ll buy you some,” he said placatingly.

  Nina followed his glance and realized that for some time now she had been staring in rapt attention at a shop window full of homemade chocolates.

  “Oh,” she said, coming back to earth, “no, no. Just ... um ... admiring...”

  “Want to take a walk in the park?” he suggested.

  “Yes,” she said instantly, wanting to spend more time with him.

  He held out his hand and she took it, wanting to touch him, glad for the feel of his warm grip on her hand. He pulled her a little closer, and she became intensely aware of him, of his height, of his hard shoulders and straight back, his narrow hips and strong legs, of the aura of mingled strength and daring that surrounded him.

  They would walk together for a while in the park, almost like lovers, then they’d go their separate ways. Really, they would have to, Nina realized. After all, it was surprising they’d even gotten to know each other this well, and it wasn’t likely to continue. They had nothing in common, they argued constantly, they traveled completely separate paths in life and they were both very busy people.

  She couldn’t continue to see someone just because of a distracting passion she felt for him. And if Luke had intended to explore that passion a little further, she would just have to explain that she didn’t get involved in strictly sexual relationships.

  With everything firmly settled to her satisfaction, Nina felt—just miserable. The feeling got worse as they walked along, surrounding her like a dark cloud.

  “What’s wrong?” Luke asked.

  “Nothing”

  “You look unhappy.”

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “Is it something to do with me?” he prodded.

  “Read my lips: nothing’s wrong,” she said tersely.

  “Because if it is something to do with me, I think we should talk about it. I prefer things to be out in the open.”

  Nina was beginning to get irritated. “Oh, you do?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Has it occurred to you that I might prefer to keep things to myself till I’ve thought them through? That I don’t like to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind? Or do we have to do everything the way you prefer to do it?”

  “So there is something wrong,” he pounced.

  The look Nina gave him could have scorched the earth. To her surprise, Luke actually looked sheepish and backed down.

  “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re right.” He took a deep breath. “I guess I’m a little tense. I was being pushy and, no, we don’t have to do everything my way.”

  It wasn’t the first time he’d apologized to her. He was indeed a difficult man, but at least he was also ready to admit when he was being unreasonable. Sometimes, anyhow.

  “Look, let’s sit down for a while and talk,” Luke said, gesturing to an empty park bench.

  As they approached it, Nina wrinkled her nose in distaste. It was quite dirty, and she didn’t want to sit on it in her pale wool dress. Though usually devoid of gallant gestures, Luke dramatically laid his denim jacket down on the bench for her to sit on.

  “Just like Sir Walter Raleigh,” he said.

  “Your hair is about the right length, too,” Nina said dryly.

  “You exaggerate. And I wouldn’t be caught dead in a doublet and hose.”

  Nina laughed as she tried to picture Luke dressed as an Elizabethan aristocrat. She herself had worn costumes on stage from many eras, but Luke was very definitely twentieth century.

  Luke sat down next to Nina, close enough to create a sense of intimacy which both warmed and unnerved her. His hand came up to softly stroke her cheek, then gently brushed a black curl away from her face. His expression was whimsical as he said, “I honestly never imagined myself with someone like you.”

  “You’ve been a shock to my system, too,” Nina admitted.

  Luke looked up as a young couple walked by, squabbling noisily about his shabby clothing, reckless friends, and bad manners and her expensive tastes, stuffy friends, and superiority complex.

  After they passed by, Luke grinned at Nina and said, “That could almost be us.”

  “I never use language like that”

  “You probably will when you get angry enough at me.”

  “I don’t ... expect to get angry at you again,” Nina said carefully.

  “Oh, come on, Nina. I’m an optimist, but that’s just plain unrealistic. Look how many times we’ve argued just since we met.” Luke was amused. “You’ll keep getting angry at me. Let’s just work on getting better at making up.”

  Nina looked at him uncertainly. “Do you really think we’ll get to know each other that well?”

  “Of course, I do.” Luke studied her carefully. “Do you really think I swallowed my pride and went to the opera and asked you to see me again just because I wanted to watch you pick at your cauliflower stew in Raw Deal today?”

  “Well, no, I guess that does sound unlikely.”

  “I want to know you better,” he said firmly.

  “But, Luke ... we’re worlds apart. We’re oil and water. We’re like that old song about the two people who pronounce ‘tomato’ differently.”

  “Do you want to call the whole thing off?”

  “I ... thought so,” Nina said hesitantly, falling helplessly into his dark yearning gaze. She shifted so that she wasn’t looking at him. Those demanding eyes made thinking impossible.

  “Maybe I thought so, too, a few weeks back. Now I think it’s a bit too late for that, don’t you?”

  “Nothing’s—I mean—we’re not—”

  “Are you so sure nothing’s happened yet, Nina? Is your cool façade as secure as it was the night we met? No weak spots? You don’t think about me when I’m not around?”

  Her eyes flew back up to his face, giving her away. Luke’s right brow lifted.

  “I was hoping so,” he said softly, “because I think about you constantly, day and night. Especially night.” His voice had dropped to a husky purr, making her breath grow rapid and her skin tingle.

  “What do you think we’ll get out of this?” she asked nervously.

  “I don’t know yet. But life is most exciting when you don’t know where you’re going.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Then that’s something else we can argue about,” he said, pulling her closer. “Later,” he added in a whisper.

  He sought her lips with his own, letting his mouth hover just a breath away from hers. He moved his hands over her like a sorcerer, easing her tension with sure knowledge of her needs, massaging her neck, cradling her shoulders, caressing her hair. His mouth brushed gently, tantalizingly, over her lips and cheeks with light feathery kisses, as teasing as the wisps of a half-remembered dream.

  A sigh of longing escaped Nina’s lips, longing for him, for his touch, for his passion. It was an admission that his specter haunted her days and nights, too, that she’d been glad to see him at the opera, that she hadn’t wanted today to be the end for them, either.

  His mouth took hers then, hungrily, greedily. She instantly forgave herself for her distraction at work and her sleepless nights. Who could taste the sweetness of his kiss and not long for more? Nina burrowed against him, feeling almost sorry for herself; nothing would ever be the same after Luke.

  Long, spinning, swirling moments of hot pleasure and growing desire were interrupted when Nina felt Luke pull away from her gently.

  “We’ve got to stop,” he whispered shakily.

  “Huh?” she said inelegantly.

  “We’re in the middle of Central Park,” he reminded her.

  Nina’s eyes popped open. “Oh, yeah. “

  He looked down at her in tender amusement. “What would Miss Manners say?”

  “She’
d say I was getting mixed up with the wrong sort of man.”

  “Are you ready to get mixed up with me, Nina?” he asked seriously.

  She returned his look for a long moment before she said, “No. But I think ... it’s too late to turn back now.”

  It probably wasn’t the most enthusiastic declaration he’d ever received from a woman, but Luke seemed satisfied.

  He walked her home, since it was a beautiful day and neither of them was quite ready to end it.

  Outside her building he said, “Aren’t you going to ask me up?”

  “No,” she said firmly.

  “Why not? Afraid of what might happen?” he teased her.

  “Yes. I’m sure you’ll hate my apartment, and I’m afraid we’ll fight about it, and I’m just not up to another argument right now. I need to get in training for this.”

  Nina agreed to meet him again in two days, after each of them shifted their busy schedules to find a day they both had free. She and Luke agreed to eschew restaurants for a while. Instead, an artist Nina admired was holding an art exhibition on Sunday, which she invited Luke to.

  “You don’t have to wear a tie,” Nina assured him, “but if you could dress a bit more ... uh ... a bit less...”

  Luke rolled his eyes. “I’ll see what I can find in my closet.”

  He was about to kiss her goodbye when one of Nina’s neighbors, coming home from work, recognized him and just had to shake his hand and get his autograph.

  The woman stood chatting with them in the lobby for several minutes. Nina finally realized the woman wasn’t going anywhere until Luke left. Since Nina felt uncomfortable about kissing Luke in front of her neighbor, she just said a friendly goodbye to him and watched him walk out of the building. She felt slightly annoyed that her last few moments with Luke Swain, the man, had been invaded because he was also Luke Swain, the rock star.

  Even more annoying was her neighbor who didn’t stop asking questions about Luke until Nina got off the elevator at the ninth floor and shut her apartment door behind her.

  She sank into a comfortable chair in her living room and rubbed her forehead. Finally, she sighed. She’d better get used to this sort of thing, she decided. This was only the beginning.

  Six

  “This is the end,” Nina said emphatically. “Really. I mean it. Don’t even walk to the end of the block with me.”

  “What’s wrong?” Luke ignored her order and walked down the street with her, his long legs easily keeping pace with her furious strides.

  “What’s wrong?” she echoed incredulously, whirling to face him. “How could you? How could you embarrass me like that? An exclusive, invitation-only, first-day exhibition of an artist I’ve always admired, and you were my guest. How could you be so rude?”

  “I wasn’t rude,” Luke said patiently.

  “You were completely tactless!”

  “Tactless? The guy asked me what I thought. If he doesn’t want to know, he shouldn’t ask.”

  “Has it ever occurred to you that not everyone wants to hear the brutal unvarnished truth from your lips?” she flared.

  “Yes, it has, and that’s why I’ve never told my mother what it’s really like to be a rock star. But that guy is an artist, Nina. If he puts his feelings on canvas and hangs them up on the wall, he’s got no business expecting other people to hide theirs. Particularly not when he asks for an opinion.”

  “You didn’t need to hide your feelings,” Nina countered. “You could just have expressed them a little less offensively.”

  “He wasn’t offended,” Luke insisted. “Why do you think we talked for twenty minutes?”

  “Because you love to talk!”

  “I won’t deny that, but it was because we were having an interesting conversation. I don’t like his work and he admitted he hates my music, but it doesn’t mean we can’t exchange ideas. Diverse tastes and personal respect are not mutually exclusive.”

  Nina took a long, deep, steadying breath. He was right about that, at least. Her own noisy, opinionated family was certainly proof. “Okay, I accept your explanation. But surely you can see how embarrassing it was for me, with the two of you arguing so noisily and everyone staring at us.”

  Luke also took a deep breath. They always managed to wind each other up like this. “Nina, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. Next time we go out I’ll try to remember that you don’t like to attract attention.”

  “Next time?” Nina said doubtfully.

  Luke gave her a hard look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I don’t think this is going to work, Luke,” she said carefully.

  “We knew it wouldn’t be easy, Nina. I thought we had agreed it was worth the effort.” He spoke carefully, too. They both knew they were walking on thin ice.

  “Maybe we were wrong.”

  Luke studied her with speculative eyes for a long moment before saying, “I don’t think so. If you want to end it neatly before it’s begun, you’ll get no help from me. I won’t let you slip away easily with trite regrets and a polite handshake. I want you too much for that.”

  Nina’s cheeks reddened at the bluntness of his words. “Are you going to make a scene?” she said as scathingly as she could.

  Luke tried to control his temper. “No. As boorish and uncouth as I may be, Miss Gnagnarelli, I don’t conduct my private life on the streets of Manhattan.” He looked at her with steely determination. “But I’m not giving up as easily as you seem to want to.” He took her hand in a tight grip and dragged her down the street. “Come on.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “We’re going home to talk about this.”

  “Home?” she said in alarm.

  “We can’t talk here.”

  “I’m not going home with you,” Nina insisted angrily. “We have nothing more to talk about.”

  “No?” He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her roughly to his chest, looking as if he’d like to shake her till her teeth rattled. “Do you really think we can walk away from this that easily, just because it’s a little messy?”

  “Yes,” she hissed furiously. She could feel the hard muscles of his thighs and belly pressing against her through their clothes. She braced her hands against his chest and looked up into the face that filled her thoughts and dreams. Something hot and frightening flooded her veins, filling her with excitement. It was all too unfamiliar and threatening, this stormy desire, this angry longing. She rebelled against it. She didn’t want him to turn her life upside down. “I don’t want to see you again, and this time I won’t let you talk me out of it!”

  He maintained his grip on her arms. They were both furious now. His whisper was harsh and burning as he said, “Do you remember wanting me as much as I wanted you, Nina? Do you remember the way you held me in the park? The way I touched you in your dressing room that night?”

  “Stop it!” she cried, twisting away from him.

  They stared at each other in consternation. How had it happened? They’d started out to have a pleasant afternoon together, and now they were at each other’s throats. The violent passions between them were becoming too strong to suppress. They became conscious of curious stares. Nina felt mortified. She was actually brawling with him in the middle of the street. Luke looked equally dismayed.

  “Let’s get out of here,” he said. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her so fast she had to do a little hopping step to keep up with him.

  Nina was going home with a furiously angry man who had just expressed his desire for her. She questioned the wisdom of this. However, Luke seemed far more interested in hurling abuse at her than in taking her to bed. She was apprehensive, but not frightened. Instinct told her that whatever else happened, Luke would never take her against her will.

  He seemed to calm down a bit by the time they reached his corner. He let go of Nina and ran a hand through his hair, rumpling the dark waves as they waited for the light to change. It was a long light, and they waited with
out speaking.

  “I say, aren’t you Nina Gnagnarelli?” asked a crisp, English voice. Nina turned to see a tall man with smooth blond hair and pale blue eyes looking at her with polite appreciation.

  “Yes.”

  “How do you do?” He reached out, shook her hand briefly and explained that he was a big fan of hers. “I caught you in II Turco in Italia a few weeks ago. May I say that besides possessing a magnificently beautiful voice, you are a comic genius”

  “Thank you,” Nina said warmly. Aware of Luke radiating quiet fury nearby, she turned the full force of her charm on the Englishman. “You have a honeyed tongue.” She gave him her most dazzling smile.

  “Not at all. The praise is only sincere.”

  They were walking along Luke’s street now, Nina chatting gaily with the stranger while Luke brooded. He stopped in front of his apartment building, waiting for Nina to finish the conversation. After several minutes, Luke lost his patience completely.

  “We’re going inside now,” Luke announced brusquely.

  Nina looked at Luke as if he were a sulky child.

  “I’m afraid this is where we part,” she told the Englishman. He started to tell her what a pleasure it had been to meet her, and that wound up taking as much time as their chat.

  “That does it,” Luke said at last, yanking Nina’s hand as he turned to go inside. “I’m in no mood for this.”

  “I say, that’s not—” the Englishman began.

  “Mind your own business,” snapped Luke.

  “Now see here—”

  “One more word out of you, and I’ll flatten you,” Luke warned coldly.

  Seeing that the Englishman was about to nobly pursue a damsel in distress, Nina tried to reassure him as Luke hauled her past an astonished doorman.

  “It’s okay,” she called. “He’s just not used to polite society. He’s quite harmless, really.”

  Luke didn’t look at her or speak to her until they were safely inside his apartment.

  “Do you know,” he said tiredly, “I haven’t threatened to hit anyone in ... years. You really know how to bring out the worst in me. You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” Anger and amusement were both evident in his expression.