Torn Souls

by Cattabriga, crystal

  I couldn’t understand for the life of me what her problem was, but I was guessing she was going to tell me as she walked up to me. I was never one for confrontation, so I turned back toward my locker pretending to look for something. In my mind I kept saying, “Please keep walking, please keep walking.” She didn’t though. Instead she stopped to insult me some more.

  “What’s up loser? You know you’ll never fit in here. I mean come on, look at the way you’re dressed,” she said as she pulled on my shirt just a bit.

  I didn’t say anything. I didn’t really know what to say. As I watched, other students walked by, and looked, but kept on walking. No one said or did anything to help me. I thought, if Alex was standing next to me, Bridget probably wouldn’t even be at my locker.

  “What? They didn’t teach you how to talk back in Ohio? Let me guess, they only taught you how to shovel crap on a farm, hick girl. What a waste. Let’s go girls, I’m bored.”

  As Bridget and her little clan of friends walked away, I slammed my locker shut startling some of the students that were walking by me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell her to leave me alone, but I didn’t. Instead, I just stood there. Hurrying out the door, I thanked God that my dad was actually on time. Quickly, I tossed my backpack in the car and jumped in.

  “Hey, kid, how was school? Did you learn anything new?” Dad asked trying to make conversation.

  I didn’t want him to know what had just happened. It was bad enough that I felt humiliated. All I knew is that I didn’t want to go back to that school. Part of me felt like I was about to break down and cry on the spot. If I did, I’d definitely have to tell Dad what happened, so I thought of something else to get my mind off of it.

  “School was alright. I did learn a couple of new things, but no need to bore you with it. Why should we both suffer?” I said while trying to laugh a little so he wouldn’t see my sadness.

  As soon as we arrived home, I rushed to my bedroom. I couldn’t hold my tears in any longer, but I didn’t want my parents to hear me, so I grabbed my pillow off my bed and headed for my closet. Laying on the floor under my clothes that were hanging about me, I placed my pillow over my face and cried until I heard my mom called my name and knock on my door.

  “Julia, come out here, please.”

  “I’ll be right there,” I yelled back so she could hear me.

  Getting off the floor, I wiped my tears from my face. I knew as soon as I went out there she’d see I was crying. There was no way to hide it. What was I going to do? I didn’t want her to know and I hated the thought of lying to her, but I had no other choice. Making my way into the living room, she noticed immediately.

  Quickly jumping up from the couch and rushing over to me like I was badly injured she said, “Oh, honey, what happened?”

  While looking down at my feet, I said, “It’s nothing. I just kicked the bottom of my bed as I was walking by. It got me really good too.”

  “Julia, come sit on the couch and let me have a look.”

  Oh, no! I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve realized she’d want to check to make sure I was all right. As soon as I pulled off my sock, she’d see nothing was wrong and that it wasn’t even red. Trying to think quickly, I had an idea. It was going to cause me actual pain, but it was better than her finding out had I lied. Seconds before I reached the couch without her noticing, I took my foot and purposely kicked the corner of the coffee table while walking. The pain was so bad that I actually dropped to the floor yelling, “Mother hummer.”

  “Julia, watch your mouth!” Mom said like I had just really sworn.

  “Mom, I didn’t say anything bad, but with all this pain, I should have.”

  Bending down on her knees, she quickly pulled off my sock to see how bad it was. Pain was shooting up my leg and tears were slowly falling down the sides of my cheeks. Why didn’t I come up with a better plan?

  “Just tell me, how bad is it, Mom?” I asked wondering if I might have broken it.

  “Here sit up. Look, I think you’ll live. It’s just really red and it will probably be bruised for a week. Stay there, I’ll get some ice,” she said as if I had any intention to wander off anytime soon.

  Mom propped me up on the couch, put a pillow under my foot and placed the bag of ice on my toe. I sat there until dinner was done. I really wanted to get up and go in my room to call Alex, but I knew Mom would just yell at me for getting up, so I stayed. After dinner, I called Alex. I invited him to come over after school on Friday, so he could meet my parents. In some way, I thought it would be good. This way Dad could see that he wasn’t a bad guy.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next couple of days at school weren’t so bad. Bridget only passed me a couple of times in the hall calling me names, but I decided to ignore her all together. As long as she kept her distance I didn’t care. They were just words. On Friday after the bell rang, Alex and I waited outside for my dad to pick us up. It didn’t surprise me when Mom agreed that Alex could come over, but it did surprise me a little that Dad was on board with it too.

  I was pretty sure I knew why he’d agreed. This way he could find out what Alex’s intentions were. I tried to reassure my dad that I wasn’t at all into to Alex like that, but he just looked at me and said, “I’ll be able to tell when you two are in a room together. Then we’ll see.”

  When Dad finally pulled up, Alex and I jumped in the car. I was going to sit in the back seat with Alex, but Dad made a grunting noise, so I sat in the front to please him. On the ride home Dad started to grill Alex with a whole bunch of silly questions. I was feeling kind of embarrassed for Alex and for myself. Thank God it didn’t take us as long as it usually did to get home because at one point, I had wanted to open up the car door and jump.

  Once we pulled up in front of the house, I opened the car door before the car even came to a complete stop. I couldn’t wait to get out. All his blabbering was driving me crazy, but I knew Dad was mad and he wasn’t going to hide it either. As soon as I saw his mouth open ever so slightly, out came a quick lecture.

  “Julia, next time wait until I stop before opening the door. What if you had fallen out?”

  Now I knew he was just being ridiculous. I was literally a foot from the curb. Did he think I’d fall out and crack my head on the pavement? I had a feeling this was going to be the longest couple of hours of my life while Alex was over, so I didn’t even respond to Dad’s foolish question. Instead, I looked at Alex and said, “We’re here.”

  While we walked up to the house, I leaned into Alex and said, “You’ll love my mom. She’s way cooler than my dad. Oh, and sorry about my dad asking you fifty questions in the car.”

  While laughing, Alex said, “No big deal. He’s just trying to protect you. I get it.”

  I couldn’t believe how cool Alex was. After introducing him to my mom, he and I went to my room to hang out, but not before my dad reminded me that my bedroom door needed to stay open. Did he really think Alex and I were going to fool around? That was just another thing for me to be embarrassed about. I showed him the collection of books I had and my awesome closet, but then realized he was a guy and could probably care less. He did however like my mural of Paris on the wall.

  There really wasn’t much to do in my room except watch TV or throw in a movie, and I didn’t have a wide selection to choose from. Most of the movie’s I had were either dramas or romantic comedies. I did happen to remember Mom saying she had picked up this movie called Lars and the Real Girl. I wasn’t sure what it was about, but I figured as long as it wasn’t something that would bore us to death then we were good.

  When Mom handed me the movie my jaw dropped open. On the front cover was Ryan Gosling. I loved all of his movies, especially The Notebook which was based on a book written by one of my favorite authors. Trying to act all casual, I walked back into my room and handed Alex the movie saying, “Mom said this was a good movie and that we’d probably like it.”

  Okay, I fibbed just a little, but Alex
didn’t have to know. While Alex and I sat on the bed watching the movie, I could see Dad pass by my room a couple of times. After the fourth time I paused the movie, told Alex I’d be back in a minute and headed toward the kitchen where Mom was making homemade pizzas. Trying to stay as calm as I could, I leaned into Mom and said “Can you please tell Dad to stop walking by my room. It’s annoying and we’re not doing anything.”

  While smiling back at me she replied, “Yes, I’ll keep your Dad busy in the kitchen helping me.”

  Alex and I were able to finish the movie without Dad walking by a hundred more times, thanks to Mom. Dinner was just about ready, so I showed Alex where the bathroom was so he could wash up. While we ate, Dad stayed pretty quiet which was surprising. I was guessing Mom had something to do with that. Mom made small talk, but thankfully nothing that embarrassed me. Once we finished eating dinner I asked Mom if she was okay with Alex and I going for a walk.

  “As long as you guy are back within a half an hour I don’t mind,” she said waving her hand as to tell us hurry before Dad finds out.

  Alex had lived in New York all his life, so he pretty much knew where everything was. While we walked he pointed out different things and if there was a story about it, he’d tell me. I couldn’t believe Central Park was only four blocks from my house. It was big and beautiful.

  “So, what do you think? I remember you telling me how much you love reading outside. Think of this as your own getaway,” Alex said as he pointed straight ahead toward a huge oak tree.

  “Oh, only if I had a book and more time, I’d stay right under that tree and read until I was thrown out,” I said with such excitement.

  “You’re too funny, Julia. Nobody would throw you out of the park,” Alex said as he hip checked me, almost making me fall.

  “Oh, no, we have to hurry back. We have exactly four minutes to get back to my house or my mom will have my head,” I said panicking.

  “I thought your dad was the strict one. Your mom seemed way cooler than your dad.”

  Without hesitation, I grabbed hold of Alex’s hand and started running back toward the house. “Come on, hurry,” I told him.

  The whole time we were running, I could see him laughing. He just didn’t get it. Yes, Dad was strict, but Mom could be terrifying if she deemed it necessary. Once we reached the step, I stopped to catch my breath. At one point I really thought I was going to pass out. I was hoping that when I opened the house door Mom wouldn’t be standing on the other side. We didn’t make it back on time, but we were only three minutes late. Looking at Alex, I told him to be very quiet and follow me as we slithered our way into my room.

  I thought we were in the clear, until I stepped into my room and jumped a foot high, yelling, “Ah!” This somehow had a chain reaction, and not only was I startled, but so was Alex who echoed me with a, “Holy crap!” I tried to stay straight faced while looking at Mom. I waited for her to give me a lecture about not being on time, but instead she let out a burst of laughter while pointing at Alex. Of course, I laughed too, but I stopped when I realized that Alex wasn’t really laughing.

  “No offense, Mrs. Stone, but you could have given me a heart attack. I mean, really, I’m only fifteen, I’d like to see my sixteenth birthday,” Alex said while holding his hand across his chest.

  “Oh, dear, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just trying to let Julia know that I see and know everything she does. I think I’ve made my point. By the way, Alex your mom will be here in ten minutes,” Mom said with a slight smile across her face as she walked out of the room.

  “Come on, sit down. I’m really sorry about that, but just feel lucky that it wasn’t my dad,” I said just to remind Alex that my parents don’t play around, especially when it comes to their only daughter.

  “So, Julia, how do you like living here? I mean, I know it’s only been a week, but do you like it better than where you are from?”

  “It’s okay, I guess. There are two things that I love so far.”

  “Yeah, what’s that?”

  “My new home is pretty awesome compared to my old house back in Ohio. My bedroom here is a lot bigger, I have a walk-in closet, and my bathroom is huge.” I immediately started thinking about taking a bath when Alex left.

  “So what’s the second thing you love about being here?” he said, obviously curious.

  “Well, not actually love, but I do like, you. You’re a really good friend so far.” I was really trying not to give him the wrong impression or lead him on. I wasn’t really sure if he even liked me that way, but I didn’t want him to develop feelings, and then find out too late that I only like him as a friend.

  “Don’t worry, Julia, I get it. We’re just friends,” he said while reaching for my hand.

  “Okay, seriously!” I joked while pulling my hand away. “You do understand what only friends means, right?” Because if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you’re not getting what I’m putting out there.”

  Alex didn’t say anything for at least a couple of seconds. I was kind of scared that he was upset that I wasn’t interested, but I’d wanted to be completely honest. A moment later he began to laugh so hard I thought he was going to fall off my bed. I was really confused and I didn’t understand what was so flipping funny.

  “Relax, Julia, I was just messing with you this whole time. I get what you’re throwing out. If it makes you feel any better, I only like you as a friend too.”

  “Alex, your mom’s here,” my mom yelled from the living room.

  “Well, it’s time for me to go. Guess I’ll see you in school on Monday, Julia.”

  “Yep, but I’ll call you later on if that’s ok?” I said hoping he’d still want me to.

  “Sure, that would be good,” Alex said as he reached for his backpack from the floor. I noticed that the expression on his face seemed a little weird as he answered me. I wasn’t sure what had changed within a couple of minutes. Could it have been that I really did hurt his feelings by telling him that I wasn’t into him? Maybe he was just putting up a front. I was hoping that things between us were not going to change. As Alex began to walk out of my room, I thought that maybe I should just ask him, but before I could, he turned back to look at me for a second.

  “Julia, I consider you my best friend even though we haven’t known each other that long. I’ve never really connected with anyone like I have with you. I hope you feel the same way. That being said, I want you to know that you can come to me with anything and I’ll always be there for you. Let’s make a promise never to keep anything from each other,” he said while he reached out his hand for me to shake on it.

  “I also consider you my best friend, Alex. Back home, I didn’t really have anyone to hang out with and I wasn’t popular so I just stayed to myself. I’m thrilled to have you in my life,” I expressed to him while I shook his hand in return.

  Mom called out to us again, “Julia! Alex’s mom is here. Did you hear me?”

  “Yes, we’re coming.”

  Before Alex left, I had the pleasure of meeting his mom. She stood at least 5’11 with long, black, straight hair and was absolutely beautiful. She kind of reminded me of a younger version of Cher. Of course, I didn’t tell Alex that. He’d probably laugh at me. That night I called Alex and we chatted on the phone until Mom came in my room and told me it was time to get off and get ready for bed. I didn’t even realize how long I’d been on the phone with him. It had been over an hour and it was now too late to even take a quick shower never mind a bath, so I just changed and went to sleep.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The next morning after eating breakfast, I hung out in my room for a while. I had planned to spend my day reading the next book in The Rose Trilogy, until Mom came in saying that it was a nice day and I should get out for a while. I really had no intention of going anywhere, but I knew she’s just keep nagging me until I went outside for a while to get some fresh air. I decided after getting dressed I could head back to Central Park and just
sit under a tree to read for a while. After dumping out my backpack, I put a small blanket, water, and a pack of Ritz crackers in it. I tossed it over my shoulder and headed out.

  Once I found the perfect tree to sit under, I took the blanket out and laid it down. The air was a little warmer than it had been in the past week, so it wasn’t that bad. In between reading, I would stop to watch people pass by. I noticed that in the park most people would stroll casually, but on the streets they would rush as if they were going to a fire.

  I saw people jogging, power walking, walking their dogs, or pushing their children in strollers. It was quite fascinating to watch. I stayed long enough to read six chapters of my book and then headed home. I didn’t want my parents to think something bad happened to me. I had just one block to go when my phone started to ring. I was hoping it was Alex, but it wasn’t. It was just my mom seeing if I was on my way home.