by Liz Harris
Bridget looked up at her. ‘Why are you crying?’
She released Bridget and wiped her cheeks with her hand. ‘I didn’t realise I was,’ she said with a laugh. ‘It’s just that you’ve made me feel as if I matter to you. I can’t describe to you what that means to me.’
Connor moved to Ellen’s side. ‘You’ve done the right thing today, Bridget, and I’m real proud of you.’
‘Can I ask you now to do one thing for me, Bridget, before we set off?’ Ellen asked.
Bridget nodded.
‘Can I ask you to go in and put on the dress your ma made for you?’
Bridget stepped back and opened her mouth as if to protest.
Ellen caught her hand. ‘It would please me very much if you did that. I’m extremely comfortable in what I’m wearing.’ She looked down at her check-patterned brown poplin dress, and looked back at Bridget and smiled. ‘I’ll feel quite at ease today. I’ve not liked dressing up for some time now. But it would please me very much to see you in the pretty dress your ma made for you.’
Bridget looked from Ellen’s face to her father’s.
He smiled reassuringly. ‘Go and get changed now, but be quick about it.’ Ellen released her hand. Bridget hesitated. ‘Off you go now,’ he said.
She turned and ran back to the house.
‘That was a very kind thing you did, Ellen.’
‘I think she’s been punished enough, knowing how disappointed in her you were.’
‘I hope so.’ He ran his eyes over her dress. ‘You may not be wearing what you wanted to wear, but you still look mighty nice.’
He saw Ellen go red at his words and pull her overskirt down as if trying to make it lie smoothly over her stomach.
‘I don’t look any different from usual, but thank you for saying it,’ she said.
He nodded. ‘While Bridget’s changing, we’ll finish loading the wagon. There are a couple more baskets by the door, I think.’
‘That’s right. One’s got the plates and white tablecloths in it, and the other a bowl of peas, some sponge cakes and marmalade. Those are my contributions to the wedding dinner.’
‘I’ll get the baskets, and I’ll hurry Bridget along. Aaron will help you into the wagon.’
As Ellen turned towards the wagon, he started to walk towards the house.
Bridget came running out of the house at speed. ‘Ellen!’ she shouted.
‘That was very quick,’ Connor called after her as she sped past him.
‘I said I wouldn’t be long,’ Bridget said, panting as she ran up to Ellen. ‘Look!’ she cried. With a rustle of petticoats, she turned full circle, showing off her blue lawn dress with a polonaise.
Ellen smiled warmly at her. ‘Your mother was a talented needlewoman. It’s a lovely dress, Bridget, and you look very pretty in it.’
Bridget giggled.
‘Ellen’s right. You look mighty nice, Bridget,’ Connor said. ‘Now I’d better get those baskets.’
‘That you do, girl,’ Aaron called, and he unhooked the reins from the post.
‘So why did you tell Bridget what Ellen told you about her and me, and in such a way as to suggest that there was more between us than there was?’ Connor asked Oonagh as they lingered on at the long table, empty of everyone but themselves. ‘I was going to ask you earlier, but I couldn’t since there were others around. Now that we’re by ourselves, I’d like an answer.’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she said lightly. ‘It’s true I passed on something that Ellen said, and looking back I shouldn’t have, but I did no more than repeat her words.’
‘You’ve talked to Ellen so you know she’s a good woman, but one without many friends. And you know Bridget, and the difficulty she’s had in accepting Ellen, hurtin’ as she still is after her ma, and fearing that I’ll forget her ma now that I’ve gotten me a new wife.’
‘I do know that,’ she said quietly.
‘You were a good friend to Bridget and me in the months after Alice passed on. I’d hoped you would be a good friend to Ellen, too. By saying what you did in the way that you did, you were not being a friend to any of us.’
Oonagh’s violet eyes filled with regret. She rested her hand on his arm. ‘I’m so sorry, Conn. I didn’t mean my words to come out as they did, and until you spoke just now, I didn’t know that they had. Ellen didn’t say any more to me than would have been proper, and I didn’t intend Bridget to think that there was anything more than a warm friendship between you.’
‘Between what you said, and what Niall had told her earlier about having to leave so that he wasn’t in the way when a baby came, Bridget’s a mighty unhappy little girl.’
‘Would it help if I spoke to Bridget, do you think? I could tell her she misunderstood me.’
‘I think not. She’ll feel that you’re saying what I’ve asked you to say and she won’t believe you. In fact, it could make her all the more certain that it was true. Both bits of it.’
Her shoulders slumped. ‘If you think of any way in which I can undo the damage that Niall and I seem to have done, you must tell me and I’ll gladly do it.’
He nodded. ‘I’ll remember that.’ He glanced at her, and raised an eyebrow. ‘So is there a Niall and you? The whole town reckons there is. They’ve seen you out together and they’re rootin’ for it.’
‘Not my pa,’ she said with a laugh. ‘Not at all. He lectures me nightly on not being taken in by surface charm and a good-looking face. He thinks Niall is the unreliable wild type, happiest with a card in his hand, a glass of whisky at his side and a woman he can leave the next day.’
‘And you?’
She shrugged her shoulders. ‘I’m still heart free, if that’s what you’re asking. You know me – I like the idea of a little excitement, and Niall sure is that. But having a bank manager for a pa means that I’m used to being able to buy what I want, and I’m thinking about what would happen if Niall hit a losing streak.’
Connor frowned. ‘Is he gambling a lot?’
‘I suspect he is. But one game is one too many in Pa’s eyes. Niall loses a few, but overall he wins his hands. He must do. He’s always got money to spend.’
‘He must also be finding work, then. I’m glad. Do you see much of him?’
‘Being a schoolteacher, I couldn’t go into the saloon, but I see him at other times in town and we go for buggy rides together. He comes to the school on occasions, and he’s also visited my house.’ She twisted her features into a pained expression. ‘Just once. My folks sat with us and Pa’s face was something to see.’
They both laughed.
‘But why are we sitting here talking about Niall!’ she exclaimed. ‘I hear the fiddle and the mouth harp. Let’s dance, Conn. You know how much I love to dance. Come on.’
‘I should dance first with Ellen.’
‘She’s serving food. You can dance with her later.’ She got up, caught hold of his hand and pulled him up after her.
‘You always were a high lifer, Oonagh,’ he said as she led him by the hand to the dancing area at the back of the hall. ‘I still wonder at times that you chose to teach school. And that you do it as well as you do. I hear what Bridget says, and I know that you’re a fine teacher, Miss Quinn.’
Ellen stood in the hall, her back to the long, half-empty food tables, staring at the people dancing.
It seemed an age since Hannah Carey, steadying the coronet wreath on her head with her hand, said ‘I will’, and then beamed up at the man next to her as he repeated the same words.
And even longer since Connor first stepped on to the dancing area with Oonagh. The afternoon light had been strong at the time, but the mellowness of dusk had now crept into the room, and still he was dancing with her.
But of course, he would be, she thought, angry at herself for the despair and distress that she felt.
He would want to be with Oonagh, would relish the time he spent with her and would cling on to every minute of it. All of his former feel
ings for her must have flooded back the moment that she’d come over to the long wooden table at which they’d sat with their wedding meal. She’d looked radiant in a dress of a blue that was the colour of cornflowers. She could never have looked lovelier than she looked that day, and not surprisingly, everyone around them had stared at her.
She’d placed herself on the other side of Connor from Ellen, put her plate of food on the table and sat down. Then she’d leaned in front of him, smiled at Ellen and commented upon how lovely Hannah had looked.
Her arm had brushed Connor’s but she’d seemed not to notice it. He’d moved slightly back and she’d looked up into his face, and Ellen had seen the sparkle in her violet eyes.
‘That’s a lovely dress, Oonagh,’ she’d said.
‘I’m glad you like it,’ Oonagh had replied, turning away from Connor. ‘I got it from the shop that’s just opened in town. It’s larger than O’Shaughnessy’s, and the dresses much prettier. I may not be making so many of my clothes in the future. And they’ve men’s clothes, too, Conn,’ she added, glancing back up at him.
‘Is that so,’ he’d said.
She’d laughed and looked back at Ellen. ‘You should get a dress there, Ellen. They …’ Her eyes had flickered to Ellen’s plain brown dress, and she’d stopped abruptly. ‘Why aren’t you wearing the green dress we trimmed? I thought you were going to wear it today.’
‘I spilled something on it.’
‘What a shame that you’d no other dress to put on. Not that it matters, of course – you already have a husband, and he’s the best-looking man in Liberty.’ She’d thrown Connor a glance of amusement, turned to her food, picked up her knife and fork and had begun to eat.
Connor had looked as if he were about to say something, but then he, too, had stared down at his plate and started to eat.
Ellen had turned to Peggy and asked if William was missing his fishing net.
‘Do you know that we haven’t danced together in years, Connor?’ she’d heard Oonagh remark a short while later. ‘I’ll expect you to dance with me at least once today.’
‘Maybe,’ she’d heard him say. ‘But first I’ll dance with my wife.’
It hadn’t worked out that way, though.
Knowing there’d be a large number of people at the wedding whom she’d never before seen, she’d intended to stay as close to Connor as she could. But just as they’d finished their meal, one of the women at the sewing bee had approached her and asked if she would take a turn at serving behind the food tables, and she’d been obliged to relieve the woman at the table laden with meat, pickles and sauces.
That had left Oonagh alone with Connor, and they’d been together ever since.
The last trace of the happiness she’d felt earlier in the day when Connor had said she looked fine, and when Bridget had shown how sincere in her apologies she’d been, had disintegrated. And now, as she watched Oonagh smile up into Connor’s face every time that they faced each other during the square dance, she felt close to crying.
Oonagh may not have wanted to marry Connor, but she was clearly more than willing to dance with him or she would have left his side long ago, no matter what he wanted. That must mean that she now regretted not marrying him, despite what she’d said about not wanting to exchange one kind of jail for another.
She shook herself. She must lift herself out of the mood into which she was sinking. Connor was a good husband, and the fact that he was enjoying being with Oonagh didn’t alter that. From what she knew of him, she knew that he’d have done his best to put his feelings for Oonagh behind him from the day that they’d wed. But some feelings can be too strong to be cast aside at will.
None of this was his fault.
And seeing him so happy at being with Oonagh was a timely reminder of something she’d do well not to forget. Their marriage was one of convenience and mutual respect, and no more than that.
Misery welled up within her. It hurt her to think that way, though she didn’t know why it should: it was only the truth.
A ranch hand came to her side, offering her ice cream and coffee. She indicated her refusal, and took a step closer to the dancing area.
Niall sprang to her mind and the fact that she hadn’t seen him since the start of the wedding. Dragging her eyes from Connor and Oonagh, she looked around the hall. He, too, could be wondering about Oonagh and Connor if he’d been watching them all afternoon, just as she had.
Not for the first time in recent days, she wondered about the situation between Oonagh and Niall. If he was thinking about a future with Oonagh, it would explain why he’d moved into Liberty rather than go further away in search of work with cattle. Conn had repeated to her Niall’s dismissive comment about cattle ranching having become another sort of farming, but Niall could have said that because he knew of the hopelessness of finding such work around Liberty, and yet he intended to stay there.
From what she’d heard, he had money to spend – more than the sum given him by Connor could account for – so he’d obviously found some work and was probably also making a bit of money from gambling. Gambling was an unreliable form of income, which he would know, but he might be hoping that one of the casual jobs he took on would lead to something more permanent in the future.
On Oonagh’s side, she hadn’t wanted to live on a homestead, and Niall wasn’t a homesteader, and never would be. He might have fairly wild ways at the moment, but many men like him had given up such ways when they’d taken a wife. Oonagh would know that, and she might well be thinking that a future with him would give her more freedom than her present life which she was increasingly finding too constricting.
And what about her? Did she want Oonagh and Niall to marry and probably settle in Liberty?
A part of her did. If Oonagh married Niall, she wouldn’t be as interested in spending time with Connor. But on the other hand, she’d always be anxious that Niall living so close to them could be unsettling for both Bridget and Connor. On the whole, the further away they both were, the better.
‘What are you doin’, standing here by yourself, Ellen?’ Niall’s voice came from next to her.
She turned sharply, and took a step back.
‘You made me jump, Niall,’ she said. ‘Bridget’s with Martha and her school friends. I don’t expect to see her till it’s time to leave.’
‘But you should be dancin’ with your husband. Why aren’t you?’ he asked. In feigned annoyance with himself, he tapped the side of his head. ‘Oh, of course. You can’t. He’s too busy dancing with Oonagh. I’ve been watching them. Just like you have.’ He looked across at Connor and Oonagh, and gave a loud sigh.
‘Can I help you with anything?’ she asked stiffly.
‘Nope, nothing at all. I’m just thinking how lovely Oonagh looks today. I swear I’ve never seen her lookin’ better. Her skin is smooth and creamy like buttermilk. It’s no wonder my brother can’t take his eyes from her face. What a face that gal’s got!’
Glancing at Ellen, he shook his head in wonderment and grinned at her.
‘Why shouldn’t Connor dance with Oonagh? They’ve been friends for years,’ she said sharply.
‘So they have,’ he drawled. His eyes crinkled at the corner in the way that Connor’s eyes crinkled, she noticed. ‘No hard feelings about the other night, I hope.’
‘You mean about you leading my husband to believe that I’d been about to lie in bed with you? And that I’d suggested it? Why should I have hard feelings about a little thing like that?’ she asked with exaggerated brightness.
He nodded slowly. ‘I guess you are mad. But think of it from where I’m standing, from my point of view.’
‘You mean there’s another way of looking at it? I can’t wait to hear it.’
‘Well, if I’d told Conn that you’d turned me down, my pride would have been lower than a snake in the grass, and a man needs his pride.’
‘I assume that your pride would have suffered because you’d’ve had to admit that som
eone who was homely enough to scare away the crows had turned you down.’
He laughed. ‘I guess I’m making it worse. Can we start again?’
She gave him a slight smile. ‘You are making it worse, and no, you can’t start again. I think we’ll let the subject lie.’
‘I agree. But not in bed.’
In spite of herself, she laughed.
She turned her head to look at Connor and Oonagh. At the same moment, Connor glanced at her across the hall. Their eyes met. She saw him miss his step, stop mid dance and stare first at her and then at Niall. Then she saw Oonagh catch his arm and pull him into the dance again.
‘You’ll excuse me if I have a cigarette,’ Niall said, and he pulled out a packet of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. ‘Ah, here’s Conn. And he doesn’t look too happy. I reckon I’ll make myself scarce.’
‘I’m ready to leave, Ellen,’ Connor said curtly as he reached her side. ‘I’ll get Bridget. We’ve been here long enough. Goodnight, Niall.’ He took Ellen by the elbow and led her away, his face grim.
Chapter Twenty-Five
‘How’s Bridget?’ Connor asked as Ellen came back into the living room.
‘Asleep. I’ve left her in her dress. I’d have to wash it tomorrow, anyway, and I didn’t want to wake her. She’s exhausted. And she’s not the only one. I’ve left the baskets with the dishes I took to the wedding in the kitchen, and I’m leaving them as they are till tomorrow. I thought I’d go outside for a few minutes, and then go to bed.’
‘Won’t you sit a while?’ He went and sat at the table by the window, and indicated the chair opposite him.
She remained standing.
He glanced up at her. ‘You were very quiet at the wedding and you said nothing on the way home.’
‘I’m surprised that you noticed anything at all at the wedding, you were so occupied with Oonagh,’ she said. She picked up her shawl, wrapped it around her shoulders, took a lamp from the wall and went out.