For the Love of Rei

by Tigra Luna LeMar

  Good-bye, Koibito,

  Zero.

  The letter slipped from her fingers and she buried her face in her hands. Everything was a huge mess. Raiden is gone and obviously from his letter he let her go. She asked him to. Picking up the letter, she read it again. That moment as the words sunk deeper into her brain, she realized something. She had fallen in love with Raiden Rei. Japanese or not her heart had spoken, she ignored it and now she was paying the price. She said a silent prayer pleading for any high power listening that Maylee’s contact knew a way to find Raiden. She didn’t know if she could be strong enough to expose her life to her legal team or Kelly—especially Kelly.

  Folding the letter with the utmost care, she exited his room to go back to bed when she saw Maylee coming up the stairs with a glass of milk. She tried for a smile but couldn’t manage it. She handed over the letter. Rochelle allowed Maylee to walk her back to bed and tucked her in. She simply cried harder for Raiden. Everything about her house reminded her of him. His room still had his scent. She buried her face into the pillow allowing her tears to soak through it. Maylee climbed in beside her and held her. She managed to fall asleep but not for long before the sun peered through the window.

  * * * *

  Walking into the building, Rochelle lifted her chin proud and straightened her suit. She tried to hurry past Caesar’s desk when he caught a sight of her and waved. “Chelle. I got something for your new worker, Raiden.”

  “What’s that?”

  Caesar jogged over and handed over Raiden’s identification card. Rochelle’s lips trembled and she gasped softly. She stuck the tag into her purse and forced a smile at security. “Thanks.”

  “Hey, where is he anyway? I wanted to ask him something for my daughter.”

  “It’s a long story. But if you email me the question I can get him to answer it for you?”

  Brilliant cover Chelle! Way to go girl!

  “All right, I’ll do that.”

  After bidding Caesar a good day, she ducked into the elevator. She held her breath, tilted her head backward and blinked rapidly. The tears held at the brink. She forced a breath preparing to step from the elevator. When she did, as usual a set of files were placed in her hands as well as a set of pink slips. Kelly tried to speak to her but Rochelle simple shook her head. “Not now, Kelly.”

  She barged into her office but she didn’t have time to sob when the phone began ringing off the hook. Reporters on the other line wanted to know if it was true that the Raiden Rei worked there. She hung up on all of them with a frustrated growl. A few she managed an angry “No comment” but others simply got the dial tone. Rochelle looked up to the ceiling. “Why me? Why today?”

  Licking her lips she rested her bum on the table and tried hard not to look at the door where she made Raiden explode all over the floor.

  She stayed inside her office. All the submissions she worked on irritated her. The proposals she looked over didn’t compare to anything Raiden would have drawn or written.

  Deciding she would never give the new authors a fair chance if she looked over their submissions in her current mood, Rochelle put them aside and began answering emails. Her mind couldn’t grasp what was actually written until she reread them over a few times.

  After lunch, she finally gave in and told Kelly to cancel all her meetings and appointments. She left the office early, wandered to the wine store and eventually made it home. Bypassing the kitchen she climbed the stairs with a bottle of wine and a glass.

  The next morning, she woke up hoping it was all a horrible dream. She hurried to Raiden’s room but the bed was made and he wasn’t there. She checked the rest of the house before crashing in the living room on the sofa.

  He really is gone.

  The new day wasn’t any better. She did not hear from Maylee and became disheartened. The third day, she walked by Kelly’s desk with the secretary calling after her. Rochelle didn’t stop but simply continued into her office. When she stepped through her door she saw a Japanese woman sitting rather patiently in one of the guest chairs. Rochelle placed her files and messages down and turned to face the stranger.

  What the hell do I pay Kelly for?

  “Can I help you?” Rochelle questioned.

  “I am Asuka Takahari.” The woman spoke politely. She rose and gave Rochelle a bow just as Raiden had done the day they came face to face at the airport. Rochelle remembered the name from their dealings in the past few weeks. It is the woman that had set up the exchange.

  “Welcome to Canada.”

  “Thank you. I am here to replace Raiden.”

  “How is he?”

  Asuka shrugged slightly. “He is not like we are used to. He has not spoken much but the strangest thing of all he has not smiled since returning to Osaka. All the contracts have been updated.” She stopped and pointed to the desk. “There are my signed copies for you and your legal department. If you could please tell me my duties I should begin right away.”

  Rochelle nodded numbly. “Raiden’s—I mean your office will be over there. Your job is to help us get our serial Gothic Wings ready for distribution. All the information you need is in there.”

  Asuka nodded briskly, excused herself and stepped into the office. Rochelle watched her go before walking as normally as possible from her office to the restroom locking the door. She peered under each stall to ensure she was alone before locking herself in one and sitting down on the closed seat. She allowed herself to sob, getting it out of her system if she wanted to keep it together. She could then admit that her sending Raiden away wasn’t because he didn’t tell her about Emiko-San Ai. It’s because she was afraid. She wanted to protect her heart so it was easier to just let him go.

  How is that working out for you?

  She frowned and rolled off some toilet paper to dry her eyes. That didn’t work. As soon as she dried the tears, new tears formed. Annoyance rushed through her and she lifted her head in a bid to stop them from running down but her eyes filled up and overflowed.

  The ringing of her cell phone jarred her from her sorrow and she peered at the caller I.D. Slipping it open she pressed it to her ears.

  “May?”

  “I have some news.”

  Rochelle’s heart sank at the sound in Maylee’s voice. “What’s wrong? Is he okay?”

  “He’s alive. My contact says he’s not like he used to be. He goes to work and goes home. He doesn’t go to events to promote Emiko anymore but sends someone in his place. He has basically become a hermit, Rochelle.”

  “I know. I have to do something.”

  Chapter Eight

  Raiden felt exhausted. He hadn’t slept well for the past few days. Each time he closed his eyes a vision of Rochelle came to him. Her scent swirled around him, blocking his mind to anything else. She smelled like lavender and roses. When he tasted from her she felt like a blaze of fire he wanted to engulf him.

  Why isn’t that enough?

  He remembered she didn’t give him a chance to tell her that. At the time he wasn’t ready to open up that deeply but he had in the letter. He told her the truth, but she probably didn’t believe him. Raiden bowed his head. No matter how long or often he thought of what transpired in Canada he always ended with a heartbreaking conclusion. When light peered through his dark soul, there was always that inkling of doubt that left him gasping in hopelessness. His office door creaked slightly and he knew his brother and best friend peered in at him again. The two checked up on him when they thought he wouldn’t notice. He lifted his head again, attempting to reel his thoughts in.

  “Has he said anything to you?” Nia’s voice questioned.

  “Yeah.” Daitaro replied sadly. “You?”

  “She must be some woman. I’ve never seen him like this.”

  “He hasn’t eaten either,” Daitaro added. “I don’t like it. It’s like my brother is withering away before my damn eyes and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  “Guys,” Raiden called from where
he stood looking out the window. “I’m standing right here. The last time I checked I’m not deaf—I can hear you.”

  It had been days since he returned from Canada. He could barely hold on as it is without the two people he loved most in the world whispering behind his back. He hauled in a deep breath and turned around to see them walk into the room. Both flopped down on his sofa, eyeing him.

  “You’re not eating?” Nia spoke in her mother-esque tone. “I know you’re broken hearted and when that happens to me I don’t feel like eating—”

  “You’re not helping!” Daitaro interrupted.

  But the petite woman simply continued, “—but you have to eat something. At least snack on something.”

  “I’m not hungry,” Raiden told her with a broken smile.

  “See what I mean?” Daitaro frowned. “This is what I’ve been putting up with since he got back.”

  “Why’d you actually leave her, Zero?” Nia asked. Each time they asked him that question he gave them the same answer. But Nia simply looked at him as though he just told her the biggest lie ever. “It couldn’t be just because she asked you to. I mean you love her enough right? You wouldn’t have just left.”

  Raiden looked at her and took her hands. “If you tell a man to leave and he doesn’t, you need to call me. If a woman speaks her mind in a case like this, even though I did not like it and it’s killing me, I couldn’t stay. It is her wish that I should go and I am abiding by it. I’ll eat something later, I promise.”

  Nia kissed his cheek and left the room but Daitaro refused to leave. He simply sat there with his legs crossed watching his brother. Raiden walked around his desk and sat down trying to ignore the fact that his brother sat across from him, simply staring. He opened a submission from the pile that collected in the last few days. The media said he went into hiding since his return from Canada but he didn’t see it that way. He wasn’t in the mood to have strangers peering in, telling him how to live his life especially while he was in this mood. Once he dealt with his issues he would make an appearance, but until then Daitaro would remain the face of Emiko-San Ai. Until then, he would continue to make sure the company sent out the best—that is something he would not compromise due to his crappy disposition.

  Finally he glanced up. “What?”

  “You love this woman—this Rochelle. Why not call her? Just call her. Tell her you simply want to hear her voice—see how she’s doing.”

  “Did you not hear me say she doesn’t want anything to do with me? She thinks I lied to her and if that’s how she feels then she is entitled to it. Now, if you don’t mind.”

  Daitaro stood up and shook his head. “You are my brother. And I love you with all my heart but sometimes I cannot understand you. Don’t you get it that when you hurt this much it pains me because I can’t help you?”

  “And I wish there was something you could do to help me—as a matter of fact you are doing something to help me. You’re helping me with this company and that’s all I really need that anyone can give me right now.”

  “Well I’m heading home. I’m going to cook and when you come home you’re going to eat.”

  “Yes, sir, big brother-San.” Raiden ended with a mock salute.

  “Smart ass.” Daitara left the room frowning.

  Just thinking of food made Raiden want to throw up but he made a promise. Shaking his head, he went back to work. The truth is, Raiden wouldn’t have left if she just asked him to go. He would have moved out of her place, found a hotel and stayed fighting for her. But then he saw her tears and it simply broke him. The image of that day flashed into his mind again and he cringed. It was hard for him to see her cry and not be able to soothe her. At that moment, he realized that he fell in love with Rochelle Hayes whether he wanted to or not. Perhaps it was their day in the CN Tower—but he knew for certain something happened the moment he watched her lose her mind on that table. He closed the file and got up from his seat. He could suddenly see her, on her knees smirking up into his face and reaching for his cock. Perhaps it was the days without food but his mind seemed to be going. He said goodbye to Nia and left for the day.

  He had every intention not to go home. He wandered around and wound up at the Tennōji Park. But the beauty of the park did nothing for his mood or his clogged mind. Eventually he left the crowded area. He spotted a few Canadian flags on bags belonging to tourists and couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. But he found himself withdrawing from all the people in Osaka.

  Eventually he ambled home, and true to form, his brother shoved a plate of teriyaki chicken at him. Offering a small smile, he accepted the plate, pushed off his shoes and sat down at the table with his chopsticks poised over his meal. Daitaro didn’t go far—the older Rei brother stood by the table, arms folded watching Raiden until finally Raiden put a piece into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed reluctantly. The taste of food seemed almost foreign to him. The flavours exploded in his mouth and he tried his best to keep it in. It took him longer than he would have normally to eat the small portion on his plate. After he finished he downed a bottle of water non-stop before walking into his den and sat down at his computer. He noticed an email from Asuka with her daily report in his inbox. It took everything within him not to write back and ask her how Rochelle is. Is she still as beautiful as I remember?

  Is her body still as curvy?

  Does she still taste like every good thing I’ve ever eaten?

  Instead he sent a small note confirming he received the email and wishing her a good stay in Canada. He moved to his sofa and rested his head back.

  “How are you feeling now?” Daitaro questioned from the door.

  Raiden looked up and smiled. “Better. Arigatou.”

  He watched his older brother for a moment before Daitaro walked in. The two sat in silence for a bit before his brother finally spoke. “I’ve been thinking.”

  Raiden chuckled.

  Daitaro nudged him with his shoulder. “I’m older than you—I should have found a woman I love half as much as you love this Rochelle woman. I’m at the age where thinking like our parents has been slowly seeping out of me. Thinking that dating outside my culture is taboo. I have to be open-minded, Zero. I have to know that love comes from where ever it wants.”

  “Is that why you didn’t say anything when I told you Rochelle is African American?”

  Daitaro nodded.

  “I didn’t have a choice, Dai. I took one look at her and—”

  “I get it. I realize that you can’t pick who you fall in love with. You have no control over it. Sometime it just has to be.”

  “I didn’t know you believed in destiny.”

  “You’d be surprised the things I believe in, Otouto. The older a man gets the more he stops seeing the world as simply black and white. There are colors in between, Rai. The sooner you realize that, the better.”

  Raiden smiled sadly. “You haven’t called me that in years.”

  “Call you what?”

  “Otouto—little brother.”

  Daitaro smiled then, his years showing momentarily through his eyes. “You haven’t needed it all these years. You haven’t really needed a big brother—and a part of me was happy about that because I knew you weren’t in any dire straits. But now—it’s called for.”

  “It’s good to be someone’s Otouto.” Raiden nodded. “Sometimes being an adult is just so tiring.”

  “I believe that.”

  Raiden slipped deeper into the softness of the sofa and closed his eyes. He wanted to bask in the moment he just shared with his big brother. After breaking up, Rei usually shrugged them off as the “they weren’t meant to be” kind of relationships. Daitaro took his break-ups a little more seriously since he had been looking for someone to settle down with and start a family. Raiden hadn’t seen the point to his brother being so upset before but he knew why now.

  “I understand now.” Raiden lifted his head.

  “Hmm?”

  “Why you we
re so upset after you lost Atama.”

  Daitaro shifted slightly and Raiden knew he made his brother uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

  “Do you?” Daitaro asked.

  “Hai.” Raiden replied with a nod. “You loved her—almost desperately.”

  Daitaro nodded silently before bowing his head. “But it wasn’t enough. It seems lately, love is never enough.”

  “Then what else is there?”

  “Well, when I find the answer to that, Otouto, I’ll be sure to let you know.” He patted Raiden on the shoulder and stood. “Since you’re no longer starving I’m going to head home. If you need me—”

  “I’ll call you—and yes, I promise.”

  Daitaro offered him a smile and Raiden watched his brother leave. Raiden stretched his body out on the sofa. He didn’t have the energy to move to the bedroom. He closed his eyes, and forced himself into a deep sleep. As soon as he closed his eyes, he began reliving everything with Rochelle. During the middle of the night he hauled himself to the kitchen, poured himself some whiskey and swallowed. Once more he brought his tired body to the sofa, removed his shirt and put his head down.

  * * * *

  Where is that sound coming from?

  Raiden moaned and snuggled into the arm of the sofa. It isn’t the most comfortable position for his neck but somewhere through the night he got used to it. He heard a banging and lurched forward trying to remember where he was.

  This isn’t my bedroom—oh the living room.

  Rubbing his eyes, he glanced at a nearby wall clock and arched a brow. It is too early for visitors. With a groan he tried to lie back down again but as soon as his head hit the cushion the knocking came again. Frowning, he wondered if Nia was checking on him again. His neck hurt from sleeping in an awkward position all night. He rubbed it, tilting it from one side to another trying to get the pain to stop. Yanking the door open his eyes almost slipped from his head.