StarlightComplete

by Astrid Cooper

  Her fingers on his knee trembled. “I wished for everything to be as it was before.”

  “It can be, kitten-mine.”

  “How can it? You don’t know… People died. Hari died.”

  “Yes, but he’ll live again. He’ll live with us forever, kitten. His memory, his songs… And his cards.” He kissed her nape, gently nibbled and placed a bite over her meridian. “Your wish, Sammi. So, how will you return to how it was in the past?” He held his breath. Would she answer?

  Her fear lashed him, her sorrow. Then terror. It cast a shadow through every cell in her body.

  “I…I can’t say.”

  John smiled grimly. Not yet, kitten-mine, but soon. He exhaled scent over her. Level Two Seduction, using pheromones that no sensualator had a right to breathe over anyone. But all bets were off if the sensualator was felinus and he was targeting his mate.

  He carefully parted his sarong and teased her garment away. Ready for the kill.

  “I like that perfume you’re wearing, Kuno.”

  “What does it smell like to you?”

  “Mm. Musk. Cat. Sandalwood. Rose. You.”

  “Me?”

  “You have a scent, um a man scent. I remember the first night I met you in the hotel lobby. You smiled at me and shook my hand. I remember thinking then, mmmm, cologne…I went wobbly at the knees.”

  “I thought it was your stilettos, or perhaps your embarrassment at being with a sensualator. I was your paid date, your Christmas gift.”

  “Yes.” She laughed.

  “So taste me now.”

  She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Taste you?”

  “That’s what I said. Run your tongue over my skin and…you know the drill, kitten, you’ve done it often enough.”

  She drew in a breath and her breasts lifted, touching his arms. His heart scudded against his ribs. Every muscle in his body tensed. Slowly, she lifted his wrist to her mouth and touched him with her tongue. She licked some more. “Mm. Like the sea. And wattle. And…oh!”

  “Yes?”

  “Crystals. Chizan crystals. I remember their taste from mutatis, when they invaded our skin.”

  “The taste, kitten, describe it.”

  “Metal and ice and fire and…it’s beyond words.”

  “Yes. You feel it. Deep inside you. In your soul. Like the schahor. Yes?”

  “Yes.” Her body quivered, like her voice.

  He catalyzed more scent, exhaled, while aiming his senses straight to her soul. She gasped.

  The lattice around her hidden mind-self quavered. He blew some more. It cracked.

  “Kuno!”

  “That’s my name.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “It isn’t obvious?” He raised her gently onto his lap and leaning back against the stack of cushions, drew her against him, poised, his erection at her pussy—he smiled to himself. His pussy-cat. He joined with her, anchoring. Sammi wasn’t going to escape him tonight. Or ever. Not now! Not feegling ever!

  Carefully he ran his fingers over her breasts, teasing each nipple to a tight peak. Lower his hand traveled, skimming just a hair’s breadth above her skin. The special felinus caress, the whisker-stroke, over every part of her body, before he narrowed his target.

  She shivered beneath his caress. His fingertip at her juncture brushed her curls and traced lower, slowly parting, finding her. Her heat spilled over him.

  He inhaled, slowly, a calming breath. For him and for her. His stomach cramped. Within her, his feena engorged, the ridges spreading her.

  “Oh,” she sighed, her head resting against his shoulder. “Oh, that’s nice. I love you, Kuno. My name is Samantha and I exist for you. Only for you, my beloved faeth-tul-san.”

  John groaned and held himself in check. He was close to shattering. His heart and soul would shatter… Just hold it for a little longer… He took a deep steadying breath. He was a felinus sensualator, he could control when he wanted.

  And right now he had to.

  He touched his soul to hers and she shuddered. Her every cell screamed NO!

  Yes! he breathed into her. Schahor. It is the gift of the felinus, kitten. To deny it, to deny yourself and me is to deny life and love. It is the soul touch we crave.

  His finger quested over her nubbin, stroking her. He caressed their joined flesh and breathed the sex scent over her as he rippled inside her.

  “Jo, your feena feels so good.” He undulated inside her. “Ah. Oh yeah! Is there a boy’s school on Chizan to teach you how to do that? Or is it a sensualator thing?”

  He nibbled her ear lobe. “No sensualator does this to his client.” He rippled harder and plunged deeper into her while breathing cheyulis over her, small whispers to coincide with every ripple of his feena.

  “K…Kuno.”

  “Give me the touch, kitten.”

  Starfire swirled over her skin, connecting to him with a pulsing cobweb of light.

  Trust me. Tell me. Love me. Soul to soul, Samantha-Sharille.

  I am the Woman of Flowers.

  The who?

  She gave him the image of the card.

  I don’t know the card, but I know you. Garden-lady. I like that.

  Kuno, I’m afraid to give you the schahor. If I do, I’ll kill you. There—she’d said it. She held her breath awaiting his response, expecting him to dis-entangle. Instead, he pressed harder into her, against her.

  You what? I’m felinus, kitten-mine. You can’t hurt me, except by your denying me the soul-touch.

  I know. She cried softly, and John caressed her wet cheek with his own. Their tears mingled. “I’ve been cruel.”

  “True, of late, your temper has been fierce, but that’s to be expected. You carry a felinus child. The stronger the emotions of the mother, the stronger the felinus soul of the child.”

  “No,” Sam whispered. “What I’ve done is unforgivable. What I might do…”

  “Are you going to deny me just because of what you might do?” His sex-charged scent raced through her.

  “I…but…”

  “Kitten you fret too much. One thing I promise you, I’m gonna love you now so much you won’t be able to think straight.”

  “You always do.”

  Not like this. He mind-caressed as he stroked her again, inside and out. Show me behind the lattice, kitten.

  “I’m afraid.”

  “You won’t hurt me.”

  “I’ll disgust you.” She shuddered against the horror, but the time had come for her to reveal all. “I’m…I’m not the person you think I am, John. I’m a monster.”

  His every nerve leapt in response. Shock raced through his veins. Breathing deeply, he fought for control. “Monster?”

  “He said.”

  “Who said?”

  Minutes passed in silence. The only sound was their combined heart beat thudding in their ears, so joined were they, they shared the rhythm as if it were a single heart.

  “Who said what to you, fe’ha tu?”

  “The starlord.” Her voice was a trembling, husky whisper.

  John caressed her nape with his tongue. “What did the monster say to you?”

  “When I confronted him, when the fleet was attacking his base, what he said to me was…” She paused. “He said, I sense you want to savor your victory and make me cower and beg for mercy. We are so alike, Samantha. We long to conquer. We thrive on the fear we build in others.”

  John snorted.

  Sam shuddered with the effort to hold her tears in check, to enfold the horror to her like a cloak. “It’s true. During one convergence, there was a moment, in a dream, when I held a whip and I wanted to hurt the dream-Hari. Hurt as I had been hurt by Andy, by others. And when I faced the starlord, I wanted to destroy him, piece by piece, in the worst possible ways, to make him suffer. And that monster exists within me, will always be there…”

  “You think if you should turn homicidal, that I can’t control you? Kitten, I’m felinus, I’m stronge
r than a human. Mind and body strong.”

  “No.”

  “Yes, kitten-mine. YES!”

  “But I’m a monster. I know! I’ve seen it lurking in places you don’t know.”

  John sighed, gently stroking her arms, the softest of caresses. “Listen to me, Sammi. I’m speaking to you as a counselor. One so trained knows how to implant thoughts in the minds of others, to twist sanity. It is forbidden, of course, but it can be done.”

  “Like hypnosis.”

  “Somewhat. An unscrupulous person with that mind-power can find a vulnerable moment and a vulnerable point and set the seed of doubt within another. It’s up to the person to let it fester, or confront it. The starlord did this to you. To subdue you, to make you his creature, as he did Sinclair.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I know about starlords. Their mind-skills are…were legendary. They could pervert psyche, body, soul for their amusement. They watched whole worlds destroy themselves with the madness they seeded in the minds of the leaders. It was their sport, their pleasure. All it takes is one doubt, one inducement. Fear. Pleasure. Pain. A warped desire to do good. A moment of indecision, a moment of vulnerability.”

  Sam shivered. “I want to believe you.”

  “Ironically, your doubt saved you, kitten. Gave you the strength to resist the starlord and its depravations, because you didn’t want to hurt or destroy. When you were sleeping in the crystal chamber on Chizan, I went to Sinclair. I interviewed him, as a sensualator. Trust me, it wasn’t pleasant.”

  “I can imagine.”

  “No you can’t kitten-mine. If you think the starlord was a monster, Sinclair was worse because he had choices.” He kissed her nape. “Initially, when captured by the starlord, he was coerced with drugs, but also by promises of domination over others. He was baited by his own insecurity. He felt inferior, so he had to prove himself to himself, as any bully does, by being cruel to others. He hurt a lot of people in his life, kitten, no less you or Hari in that prison.”

  “I wanted to tear everyone to pieces.”

  “Of course you did, that was the starlord’s own essence in the dreamscape. It twisted in you like a snake.”

  “It’s still there, ready to strike.”

  John laughed. “Do you truly want to hurt me? Make me bleed? Kill me?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Then you won’t. If you have the awareness to be afraid of yourself and wish to protect others from the evil you think is within you, then you aren’t evil. Violence is against your nature. It’s against your soul.”

  “You don’t understand. You don’t know.”

  “I want you to show me.”

  Sam’s heart thudded against her ribs. Her mouth went desert-dry. For a moment she thought she might faint as the world somersaulted around her.

  “Sammi.” John’s voice soothed, as his fingers soothed. “There’s nothing to fear. If you turn nasty, then I can control you. But I know you honey-cat. I trust you with my life.”

  “If I do turn, you must promise to kill me. Straight away. That assassin point to the ankle. I used it on the starlord, you can use it on me.”

  “You used it on the monster?”

  “Too late, I found out that the points didn’t work on him. You see, I…I lured him…” She closed her mouth, and her mind.

  “But, Sammi, I can’t kill you. I love you.” He paused. “Besides, there is the small matter of the daughter you carry.”

  “Oh stars.” She shivered. “But what if…?”

  “No such words in the felinus language, wife of mine. Show me everything you experienced.”

  “If you look inside me and…you’ll see…” She flushed.

  “I know you and Hari shared mind and body. I sensed his essence within you. Kitten-mine, one day we would have loved, the three of us. I’m glad you were imprisoned with Hari. He is…was a consummate lover.”

  “I prefer you. Hari knew that and sometimes he would glamor himself to appear as you, when he loved me.”

  “He…what?” He paused. “Oh, Sam.”

  She turned to look at him and saw the tears on his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry that you loved Harimal?”

  “No,” she whispered. “He was kind and gentle and yes, consummate.”

  “But he knew that when he loved you, it was me you were imagining.” John closed his eyes. “And I thought your reluctance to love me was because he had spoiled you for a mere hybrid felinus.” He laughed without humor.

  “I can love only you, will love only you.”

  Silence deepened between them. The only sound between then, the slap of water against the moorings.

  “Clever kitten to have diverted me. Now, show me what it is that you fear so. Together we can heal it, banish it forever.”

  “I baited the starlord with convergence. My true convergence.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes—is that all you’ve got to say to me?”

  John sighed and stroked her nape with his tongue. He exhaled over the moist patch of skin. “What did you expect? For me to revile you, to call you whore and brand you unclean? The convergence you gave the monster, was it like the one we share?”

  “Of course not. I can never give that to any one, except you. Even Hari didn’t know my convergence.”

  “Then, wife-of-mine, tell me everything. Hide nothing.”

  Sam revealed all, opening herself to him, as a flower opens its petals to the first rays of the sun. She caught John’s ripple of mind-laughter at her analogy. Then, intense concentration as he re-lived with her the time of the dreamscape.

  They shared tears, horror, laughter, images and emotions. Reamon, the warrior and Samantha the captive loving and fighting, teasing. Sam felt John’s mind touch against the lattice and she lowered her defenses.

  She mind-shared the moment in the dungeon when she held the whip and faced the warrior, perhaps wanting to hurt as he had hurt. But she had flung the whip away. The scene altered to the starlord’s control room. She gave the monster convergence over and over, its mind touching hers, insinuating its presence, twisting like a viper. We are alike you and I, Samantha… The starlord’s image, his voice escaped from her.

  “You see, Kuno! You see!”

  If what he says is true, honey-cat, why are you here with me and not roaming the stars with him? What he offered you was immortality, power beyond the province of a goddess. He sought this, but you did not. Tell me how that makes you alike?

  Sam swallowed, her mind and heart racing. Slowly, his words evaporated her panic. Her fear.

  “That feegling monster lied to me.”

  He used your own fear against you. Clever, utterly despicable. What do you seek, wife-of-mine?

  My name is Samantha and I exist for you, only for you Kuno. Dearest faeth-tul-san.

  And there is your answer, Sharille! We are mated. No power in the universe comes between a felinus and his mate.

  I’m not felinus.

  You carry a felinus child, your husband is felinus. I have gifted my blood to you during mutatis. You have Chizan crystals in your veins. You sing like a felinus, you touch the souls of all creatures. The eel, the oysters, the dolphins are your friends. He lapped her skin with his tongue while his mind lapped hers, a slow sultry caress. So are you telling me you are human? No, Sam! You are Sher-ean. You are Chizanii.

  John moved beneath her, aiming for her center, deep center. He put his hands to her temples, snagging his fingers in her hair. He gently loved her with his body, while his mind caressed. Starfire beckoned. Sam touched her mind to his, returning the sultry lap of convergence. He licked her neck, nibbled, kissed, placing tiny cat bites over her flesh. He rubbed his cheek against her throat and purred.

  You are my T’serlan. Always. Now. Forever. You are my heart, my soul. My life.

  Silence, like eternity stretched between them.

  Tears stung the back of Sam’s eyes. Slowly, she allowed him access to all
that she had endured. The loving, the hating, the punishments. When she had raised the whip and Harimal had flinched.

  Sammi! Oh, stars!

  What…what?

  His smile pulsed through her. “Can’t you see, kitten-mine? Our child?”

  Sam felt it, then, a warmth, a rainbow of color. “I’ve touched her before, as you did, that first time. So why is this different? Why are you surprised?”

  “Because I can touch her felinus soul. I could barely discern her, now she vibrates—so strongly. Ah!” John laughed. “Hari must have sensed the child and built a lattice around her, to hide her from the starlord. Clever bastard, my brother, even now, I can hardly break through. But the lattice is fracturing, little by little. And that, Sam, is one reason why you feared my mind-touch. Hari put a block there—a block to repulse any intrusion. He’d have guessed I would break it when we converged. What he didn’t realize was that you would deny me convergence. He’d not expect that, even of you. How we used to laugh about your unpredictability and love you for it.”

  “You talked about me? Laughed about me? I don’t know whether to be insulted or…or…”

  “Be at peace, kitten-mine. Hari and I loved you, your humanness.”

  Sam touched John’s knee. “Hari put that block there, because if the starlord ever found out, he would have used the child.”

  “Exactly so.”

  Sam shuddered anew.

  “And in so doing, Hari gave our daughter his gift, his songs; she will grow to be a great singer, better than all who have gone before. Saphyna. You named her well, wife-of-mine. She will be the star-singer.”

  “I don’t understand…”

  He smiled, the warmth touching her soul. “Your intellect rejects, but feel like a felinus. Accept. It is our way—your way, kitten. Allow it. Doubt no longer.”

  Sam opened herself to him, this time without restraint. She granted John access to every part of her: mind, body and spirit. He filled her soul with his own and re-established that connection, weaving it together with images of crystal and light and starfire—a bond that would exist beyond death. Unbreakable. Eternal.

  Sam pulled away from him and turned, bringing her body over his, linking her legs at the small of his back. She eased down over him, taking him inside, holding him prisoner with her muscles, kissing him as she touched him, every part of him.