Confessions Of A Vampire

by Donna Haley

  To say I was shocked by what happened next is an understatement of a lifetime. His arm snaked around my waist and I found myself pressed tightly against his chest. His lips were heated against my forehead as he spoke.

  “My place or yours?”

  A giggle erupted from me and I stood on tiptoe to kiss him softly. “Mine,” I whispered against his lips as he lifted me out of the pool. We spent that night and the coming week locked inside my cottage exploring each other’s body and talking. We talked for hours and I felt an instant connection to Severus. I wanted to know everything there was to know about this intriguing and incredibly sexy demon.

  He survived on the only human food I had in the place, ice cream, for days. Not that he complained since most of the time he ate it off of my body which always led to him forgetting he'd been hungry in the first place.

  Venturing out of the bedroom towards the end of the week, I sat on the kitchen counter, watching him prepare a meal he'd materialized out of thin air. We laughed and joked and it all seemed so natural. Turning on the radio he yanked me off the counter and into his arms as Frank Sinatra's voice filled the kitchen. We danced slowly, distracted by stolen kisses and it was in that moment that I first knew I was in love with this demon.

  We became inseparable after that and everyone, including Severus, warned me that I shouldn't get attached. I knew that demons were cunning and tricky but I trusted him. In my heart I trusted that Severus would never hurt me.

  We spent every waking hour together and I was having more fun than I'd had in ages. He would snap us to wonderful places and we had grand adventures. Paris, Milan, Rome. Rome was where he was originally from and still kept a home there. We were so happy in Rome.

  But of course, fate had other plans and I’d soon learn that listening to my heart wasn’t always the smartest thing to do.

  The feel of his kiss on the back of my neck catapulted me out of the memory and back to the present. Sneaking a peek at the clock I was shocked to see it was after three in the morning.

  “You must be getting tired,” I said to the young man and he nodded. “Go on then. Be back here tomorrow and we'll continue.”

  Watching as he gathered his belongings I remained on Sev's lap, content to spend these moments alone with him. We were lost in a kiss and never noticed that our guest had left.

  The afternoon sun peeked through the curtains and I groaned as I turned over to throw an arm around my husband. My eyes flew open when I was met with an empty bed and my mood quickly turned when I found the note on his pillow.

  He'd been called away again. Lucifer never gave us a break. By now I should have been used to it, but it still always bothered me when I woke to find him gone. I missed him terribly when we were apart.

  Sighing heavily I rolled from the bed and hurried to shower. I'd just made it down the stairs when the doorbell rang and the fresh faced young man appeared in the living room behind the butler.

  I motioned for him to sit, taking my own seat across from him. He rushed to unpack his recorder and I could see he was anxious to get started.

  “So, last night you were telling me about how you and Severus were getting along right after you met. Do you want to continue from there, Mrs. Severus?”

  I hesitated and timidly shook my head. “In order to understand what happens next I have to take you back a few hundred years.”

  I didn't wait for his nod or even an argument. I was already consumed by the memory.

  Chapter Eight

  It was the early 1400s and I'd pretty much given up hope of ever finding the masked man from that party sixty years prior. Star thought I'd finally lost my mind to still be searching for him. Of course, she couldn't understand this desire I had to find him. No one could. I'd have done anything to have just another second spent in his arms and it had all but consumed me these last few years.

  I attended every social event I could in hopes of seeing him there. Each night ended in my disappointment when he failed to show. But this night was to be different but not in a way I could have imagined. I'd reluctantly agreed to attend a ball with Star. She had her sights set on a young Duke and had all but begged me to tag along in case she needed help luring him away from his intended.

  I dressed halfheartedly in a deep purple dress with cinched in waist and curve hugging bodice. The color set off the paleness of my skin and flowing curls. My blue eyes lacked the fire they'd once held but I could easily pass for a happy human woman.

  I pinched my cheeks to give them some color and descended from the carriage with the help of our driver. Star's excitement bubbled over and I almost gave her a genuine smile. Letting her lead the way, we entered the chateau just on the outskirts of Paris. A lively waltz played in the grand ballroom as our cloaks were whisked away by a dark haired maid who never uttered a word.

  I stood to the side allowing my sister to be the center of attention for a change. It wasn't as if I cared about even being there, anyway. This was her game and I was just a participant.

  My back was against the wall and I was sipping a glass of champagne when I felt a cold hand on my arm. One whiff of the air around me and I knew I was in the presence of another of my kind. He was tall, over six feet in height and lanky, the type of man a girl could find herself fantasizing about in the dark hours of morning just before dawn.

  He asked me to dance and I politely refused, happy to sulk on my own and definitely not looking for a man to cure my increasing disinterest in life. But he wasn't taking no for an answer and I soon found myself being twirled around the Italian marble floor to the simple strains of an orchestra that was being overpaid.

  He handled me as if I was a fragile flower and he was the only thing keeping me from sudden demise. As soon as the song came to an end I high-tailed it out of there, trying to keep my composure as I did. I don't know what I was running from but I just had to get away from him. He'd made me feel things I'd long since thought I couldn't feel for anyone but that mystery man.

  Stopping to decipher where I was, I let out a hoarse scream when he suddenly appeared in front of me.

  “You can run, but you can't hide from me.”

  His words should have been enough to frighten me and yet I was oddly amused by him. Shaking my head, a smirk firmly in place, I exaggerated a bored sigh and brushed past him.

  “Your name,” he called out behind me.

  “What do you want to know it for?” I wasn't fond of games and he seemed to be playing a big one that evening.

  “So I know what to call you when we make love.”

  I whirled around, my eyes dancing with anger. “And what makes you think I'd allow you in my bed?”

  “What makes you think I'd wait for permission?” he countered.

  “You're quite annoying, you know that?”

  “You only find me annoying because you want to know what I feel like buried between your thighs.”

  I don’t know what came over me as I flew at him, not in rage, but in a need to let him know that he'd been correct in his assumption. I did want to know how it felt to writhe in ecstasy beneath him. I wanted it so much it scared me. I ached to feel his tongue on the most sacred part of my body, to hear him moan my name as he reached his release. And I hated myself and him for all of those desires because he was not the man I so desperately wanted him to be.

  He caught me in an embrace that left me shaken and trembling. His lips crushed against mine and I lost all train of thought or propriety. Good girls didn't do what I was doing, but I'd given up that charade centuries before.

  We left the ball after I sought out Star to let her know I'd found some entertainment for the night and headed back to his penthouse apartment on the Rue de la Seine in the heart of Paris. The city was aglow from the candles that decorated the shops for the coming holiday. Everything seemed perfect that evening.

  But as you've learned by now, nothing ever worked out the way I intended.

  I spent the night in his bed teaching him the secrets of my body
and learning his. We fed from one another, taking what we needed from the other as only two beings like us could. By the time the sun arose and we sought shelter in his coffin we were both bloodied and bruised.

  Sometimes, being unbreakable has its advantages and that night was one of them. As I curled up against his chest, I ignored the voice in my head telling me that this was more than just a one night stand. This vampire known as Draven had captivated me and I was more than willing to see just how long it could last.

  Weeks flew by and Draven and I grew closer. He was kind and gentle and I appreciated the difference from Kieran. He got along famously with Star and we all stuck together as the season of Christmas drew closer but there was always that nagging little voice that reminded me that he wasn’t the man I truly loved. Every morning, just be before dawn broke, I’d look at Draven as he fell into his death slumber and I’d tell myself that I had to let go of fantasy and start living reality.

  Within a few nights Star and I had decided to stay in Paris for the holiday and we were thrilled at the influx of humans that filled the city each day. It was a veritable playground for vampires and we easily fed anytime we chose. It was a nice change of pace to be able to be full and strong. There were times back then that we wouldn't feed for weeks or even months at times unless we fed on the animals around us. And as much as Star and I despised such a thing, we'd found ourselves forced to more than once.

  With Draven out our side we could make up easier lies to keep the humans' curiosity and questions at bay. Humans are so gullible that they’d believe anything as long as it doesn’t sound too far-fetched. We often told our prey that Draven and I were married and Star had been widowed and had come to live with us.

  It was a plausible story and kept them from getting too suspicious which always helped when you need to feed on their blood to survive. Living as husband and wife publicly led to Draven and I growing closer and closer and before long he was asking me to marry him for real. I had my reservations since my one and only marriage had ended in me killing my husband and I wasn't sure I was ready to give it another try but I loved this vampire so I threw caution to the wind and said YES.

  As the Christmas holiday ended, our wedding plans were in full swing and I was happier than I'd been in many years. It had never been my plan to marry again, but I loved him and he loved me. The only fault I could find? His lack of passion and sometimes he just bored the absolute hell out of me. But I figured I could find my thrills in hunting.

  I tried my best to not compare him to the man I'd met at Edward's Ball but in those moments when I was alone and could let my guard down, it was clear that my heart already belonged to him. Don't get me wrong, I did love Draven. It just lacked the passion and heat I'd experienced with that dark haired mystery. There were times I sincerely wished I had never met the demon because he’d ruined me for anyone else, whether it was his intention or not.

  I tried to throw myself into the wedding preparations to forget him but it didn’t work. Star watched in silence as the wedding neared, never voicing her concern for what she could feel was tearing me up inside. I could see her questioning my intentions and if I were honest with myself I'd have been doing just the same.

  But I was good at lying, not only to everyone else, but to myself as well. I arose on the night of my wedding to find a torrential downpour and massive lightning storm raging outside of my window. If I'd been a superstitious woman, I'd have listened when the maid swore the gods were trying to tell me something. Instead I struggled into a fitted white wedding dress that had cost a small fortune to have ready on such short notice.

  Draven had insisted that we marry at once and I wanted to make him happy so I'd agreed without thought as to why he was in such a hurry. So there I was standing at the mirror, playing with the train of my dress when Star entered the room. Closing the door behind her she crossed the room and hugged me.

  “What's wrong?” I asked, sensing her worry.

  She sat me down and took her place next to me, taking my hand in hers. In that instance she reminded me so much of our mother that I had to forcefully hold back my tears.

  “Sun, are you sure you want to marry Draven?”

  I raised a brow and frowned at her words. “Yes, Star, I’m sure. I love Draven. What brought this on?”

  My sister stared at me for a very long time before she spoke again. “I know you've been thinking about that demon again. Did you forget that I can read your thoughts? And Draven will be able to as well if you fully bond with him. He'll know that you don't love him the same way he loves you. I don’t want to see you hurt, Sun.”

  “Star, stop this,” I interrupted her. “Draven is a wonderful man, he makes me very happy and I need to stop living in a fantasy.”

  “But you don't love him, Sun. Not like you love that guy from Eddie's ball. Don't do this to yourself.” Her voice was filled with concern and I should have been grateful that she cared so much but all I felt was anger.

  “Do what, Star? Make myself happy? That other man doesn't exist anymore. It's been sixty years and I've not found him no matter how hard I’ve tried. For all I know, he's dead or he doesn’t want to be found. I can't wait around on something that's not going to happen. I deserve to be happy and this is the life I want now. Draven is a good man and he’ll be a good husband.” I was getting angrier and just wanted this to stop, but even as I said the words, I knew that they weren’t true. I’d never be able to let go of the mystery man that filled all of my dreams. I’d never forget him or stop looking for him in every new town we went to. He’d always be there, in the back of my mind, in the darkest corners of my heart and no matter how good of a husband Draven was, he’d never be good enough.

  If I’d been honest with myself I’d have walked away the moment Star spoke of her concerns. But as I’ve said, I was very good at deceiving myself and to Star’s credit, she backed off. Wishing me nothing but happiness my sister promised to never speak of this again. I wasn’t convinced but I’d take what I could get at that point. We hugged and she handed my bouquet as we made our way downstairs.

  Within the hour I was Mrs. Draven Blood. Looking back now, it should have dawned on me that he was connected to Kieran somehow but I wasn't thinking with my head. And that always seemed to get me in trouble.

  The sound of a little voice drew me back to the present.

  “Who's Draven, Mommy?”

  Smiling down at the beautiful blue eyes staring back at me, I picked up my three year old daughter and hugged her. “He's no one important, Vivienne.”

  The young man was intently fumbling with his recording device, trying to avoid interrupting the moment, but I could see clearly that he was interested in the little girl that stood between us.

  My daughter threw her arms around my neck and hugged tightly. “Can Viv and me haves a cookie, Mommy?”

  My laughter was soft as I waved a hand and materialized two oatmeal cookies and sent her on her way. I faced the young man with a bright smile.

  “They're twins.” His face showed his surprise and I continued. “I could see the question in your face. We have a total of three children, Severus and I. Malachi was born four years ago right before we married. The twins came the next year.”

  “You have a beautiful family, Mrs. Severus. I’m curious how you got to this point. I've heard about your wedding to your maker and this Draven guy, but not about the one to Severus. How did that come about?”

  My smile grew even brighter as I began to tell the story of how we'd married.

  Chapter Nine

  Severus had been gone for a very long time and I'd finally admitted to myself how much I loved him and didn't want to live without him. Of course, that happened after he vanished which you’ll learn about later.

  I'd been trying my best to live my life without him and it wasn't going so well. I was so lost without him that I'd spiraled down into madness. I killed without thought and decorated my cottage with human bodies and painted the walls with blood. My
friends and family were worried and to be frank, so was I.

  One night I'd been feeling very down and just wanted him. It was a need that couldn't be ignored. I missed him. All of him. I missed the way his voice soothed my soul and how I felt safe with him. I missed the way he looked at me as if I were the only girl in the world. I just wanted to feel his arms around me again.

  That was the night I sank into my overstuffed chair and cried hopelessly. It was also the night that I opened our bond fully for the first time in months and called to him. I just wanted to see his smile again, even if we couldn't be together. I didn't care that I could be rejected or that he may not want to see me. I had to try. I had to see if he missed me as much as I missed him. I was willing to risk being hurt if it meant I could have five minutes of him again.

  My plea was desperate and I didn’t bother to hide it when I called to him. Even though I had hoped he would come, I never expected what happened next. The knock on my door sent me running. Throwing it open I jumped into his arms the moment I saw him. I nearly knocked him off of his feet and his laughter was the most beautiful sound in the world then. His arms tightened around me and I was home. Everything made sense again there in his arms.