Confessions Of A Vampire

by Donna Haley

  I began to feel lonely without him here to fill my days. I'd come to enjoy the time we spent together, just talking about my life. I don't think Aaron fully understood how lonely this house could be and that his presence there had given me something to look forward to as I arose each day.

  I jumped back into daily life with the twins but it all seemed so dully and boring at times. Severus came and went, as usual, and things had gotten back to some semblance of normal.

  But I felt more alone than ever. I began to second guess some of the memories I'd shared with the young human and wished I'd given more details on some and less on others. I worried that I’d told too many secrets or that others of my kind wouldn’t be happy with all I’d said. The times that my husband was home, he'd laugh at my insecurities about the book that was being written. He did his best to convince me that no one would believe the stories were true because most humans lacked the capability of believing in our kinds. He claimed that they liked their lives wrapped in neat little packages and never wanted to think that others could be out here living lives in such abnormal and violent manners.

  I don't think it ever crossed his mind that perhaps I just missed the company that the human had provided. I didn't bother to let him in on this truth, because I knew that he wouldn't understand it and to be honest, I had no desire to spend the time explaining myself to my husband. Not when he was only home for short periods of time now.

  The months passed quickly and I soon began to not think about the human or the book he was writing until one day when he appeared on my front steps with a gift wrapped package. My smile brightened my entire face as I stepped back to allow him entrance into the house once more.

  As we made our way down the hall to the sitting room we'd spent so many days in, the girls ran up and hugged his legs. I couldn't help but laugh when he was taken aback. It was quite obvious that he had no clue how we'd missed him. As I peeled Vivi and Viv off of our human guest, I kissed their cheeks, tousled their hair and sent them on their way to the kitchen for ice cream.

  I waited for Aaron to take his seat and the cup of coffee Maria had brought in before I took my own across from him. I chuckled to myself to find that I was almost as nervous as that first morning he'd shown up here with his notepad and recording device. Crossing pale legs that peeked out from a short black skirt, I grinned as his eyes took in the sight of my Hello Kitty Vans, his small laugh showing his amusement.

  I tilted my head and absentmindedly twirled a lock of hair around my finger as I inhaled. He still used the same citrus scented shampoo and for some odd reason that made me smile. I felt as if an old friend had dropped in and I was patient in waiting to hear what he had to say.

  “Mrs. Severus, I just wanted to stop in and let you know that the publisher loves the manuscript. He thinks we'll have a best seller on our hands.”

  My smile grew but I could sense his hesitation. There was more he needed to say and I raised a brow.

  His voice grew quiet again. “I just have a personal question I wanted to ask, if I may. It won't make the book, but my curiosity is getting the better of me.”

  “Ask it, my dear.”

  He hurried before I could change my mind. “You talked about a blood bond you have with Severus. Can you tell me about that?”

  “Sure. What is it you want to know?”

  “How do they work? I mean, I get that you exchange blood but what happens?”

  “I suppose the best way to explain it is to take you back to the night we bonded fully. Do you have time?”

  My question was mere formality and I didn't wait for his answer. The memory of that night rushed forth and I was off and running with the story.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Severus and I had exchanged blood more than once and I knew that I needed to tell him that we were close to being fully bonded. What I wasn't sure of was how he'd react to that. Being bonded to a vampire is pretty powerful and it opened the bonded up to being able to feel our emotions and vice versa. By then I already knew that I was in love with him and I wanted to complete the bond. Now I just had to find the courage to see if he felt the same.

  We were lying in bed one Sunday evening, watching football when I brought up the subject.

  “Babe, how do you feel about being bonded?”

  Severus quirked a brow and turned on his side to face me. “In what way?”

  I chewed on my lower lip, the nervous habit giving away how worried I was to be bringing up this subject. “Blood bonded.”

  That crooked smile was aimed directly at me and I couldn't help but hold my breath as he answered. “I'm not opposed to it, if that's what you're asking, but I thought we were already bonded. Haven't we shared blood?”

  “Well, yes, but to complete the bond we have to exchange blood one more time. After that, the bond will strengthen with each exchange and you'll be able to feel me at all times. You'll sense my emotions and you'll know instantly if I'm in danger or hurt and vice versa.”

  He nodded and took my hand in his, bringing it to his lips and kissing my palm gently. “I think we should do it, sweetheart.”

  I beamed, that's the word he used to describe just how happy I was that night. He decided that it should be a special night since our first time making love had happened rather quickly and wasn't planned. I, on the other hand, just wanted to do it, but agreed to let him plan a romantic night.

  Secretly I was over the moon happy that he wanted to make a big deal out of it, but I'd never admit it to him. A girl needs a few secrets.

  I woke the next evening to find a beautifully wrapped gift on the foot of the bed. I picked it up, smiling at how meticulous he'd been in selecting the perfect ivory wrapping paper and black ribbon that was tied into a stunning bow. I was almost sad to pull that end and untie it. As I slid a nail under the tape and peeled back the heavy paper, I began to see how much he actually cared about me by the care he'd taken with this gift.

  As I lifted the top of the box up and unfolded the layers of tissue paper I was a bit surprised to find a sheet of paper with his flowing handwriting on it. I picked up the note, bringing it to my nose to inhale the scent of him on it before reading it.

  “My eternal beloved, I request the pleasure of your company this evening for a magical night under the stars. Go to the closet and you'll find your attire for the night. Then meet me downstairs at sunset. I'll see you soon then. Always, Your Demon”

  I carefully placed the note on the bed and raced for the closet. Throwing open the doors I gasped aloud at the gorgeous dress that hung there. I was in shock at the details. The blue was almost the shade of his eyes and would compliment my own to perfection. I reached out to touch the silk and sighed at how soft it was. The black lace ribbon that tied at the waist was adorned with a diamond brooch in the shape of a spider.

  I hurriedly stripped out of his shirt that I'd slept in and showered in record time. I didn't want to waste a minute out of that dress. As I stepped into it I nearly cried at how it fit me so well. The waist cinched in and the bodice was just low enough to have been scandalous had we been in my human era. The full skirt swished as I twirled around to look at myself in the mirror.

  I stood in stunned silence as the blue made my pale skin almost glow. I took my time curling my long blonde hair and pinning it up. I pulled my mother's emerald hair clips out and affixed them among the tendrils that fell down my back. I felt like a princess as I sat down to buckle the straps of the black stiletto Mary Jane Loubitans that had accompanied the dress.

  I was just reaching for my jewelry when there was a knock at the door. A little taken aback, I ran to answer it, finding Sev's butler there holding a small gift bag. “The Master of the house asked me to deliver this to you, madam and advise you that he is waiting in the foyer for you.”

  Before I could speak he was gone and I was opening the velvet boxes that the bag had contained to find an emerald necklace and earrings that matched my mother's hair clips. I blinked rapidly to keep tears f
rom ruining my makeup and with shaking hands put the jewels on.

  Turning to take one last look in the mirror, I grabbed my bag and shawl off of the chair and rushed to the stairs. I forced myself to stop and take a deep breath. I wanted him to fall madly in love with me as I came down those stairs. I wanted him to think that he was the luckiest man in the world to be seen with me on his arm. And so I took my time descending. I had butterflies as I turned and stepped onto the landing that allowed me to see him.

  I took those last few steps to him holding a breath I no longer needed to survive. As my foot hit the floor, his hand was at the ready for mine. I stood taking in the sight of him, tall and handsome in his Armani suit, the handkerchief in the pocket the exact color blue as my dress. His wavy dark hair was slicked back and I had an overwhelming urge to mess it up as he bent down to press a hot kiss to the back of my cold hand.

  He stepped around me and draped my wrap over my shoulders then offered me his arm. I took it without hesitation and smiled up at him adoringly. He led the way through the house and out the patio doors. I blinked at the sight before me.

  His pool had been transformed into a sparkling oasis, surrounded by glowing ivory candles. I could smell the magnolia in the air from the blossoms that floated on the surface of the water. Just to the side sat a table, covered in white linen table cloth, candles causing the crystal goblets to shimmer.

  I accepted the seat he offered and nodded when he offered me the blood wine. I felt my fangs run out as the smell of blood filled the air and he laughed at me trying to hide them. We dined on a wide array of blood dishes prepared by a fabulous chef he'd hired for the night. As the blood cupcakes were placed before us, I giggled, a little heady from the virgin blood that had been in the wine.

  He leaned across the table to lick frosting from my lips and kissed me softly. I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with him all over again that evening. Severus had gone all out and as soon as dinner was over, he arose from his seat and offered me a hand as the soft music played in the background.

  Getting to my feet, I found myself back in his arms as we danced to the soulful sound of Etta James singing ‘At Last’. If I hadn't been so swept off of my feet I may have laughed at the irony of the song choice. As we swayed together there on his patio, he held me closer than he ever had before.

  I could feel his heart beating on my own silent chest and for a moment, just one second of time, I wished I could have met him while I was human. I pushed those thoughts aside and let myself just enjoy being in his arms again.

  As the music ended, Severus looked down at me with a wicked grin and I knew just where this night was heading. I giggled and he pulled me even tighter against him, if that were possible. Our bodies connected as if they were created to be together and perhaps they were. Gone was the shy, awkward girl I'd felt like when I asked him about bonding and in her place stood a woman that loved this man in front of her.

  He laced his fingers with mine and his voice tickled my ear when he spoke.

  “Let's go upstairs, Sunshine.”

  It was an offer I couldn't refuse and I gave a hoarse “okay” in response.

  He led the way through the silent house and I held tightly to him as we made our way up the stairs. My eyes widened at the sight that stood before me when he opened the bedroom door. I'd vacated the room less than three hours prior and now it stood transfixed into something totally different.

  The room was aglow in soft candle light with red and white rose petals strewn about. The bed had been made with sheets so soft you could lose yourself in them and goblets of blood wine stood ready and waiting for us. I stole a glance at Severus and knew that the wine would go untouched.

  Before I could react, he'd swept me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. Scooting back, I growled as he loosened his tie and dropped it, and his jacket, to the floor. My gaze swept over him as my fangs ran out in anticipation of what was to come.

  Joining me on the bed, he ran a hand up my leg, growling when he found I'd gone commando that evening. I shivered at the growl and bared fangs at him. Tugging him by his shirt I brought his lips to mine, slowly sliding my tongue across his full lips, taking my time in tasting every inch of them. When those same lips parted, I let my tongue explore the dark, warm recesses of his mouth, wrestling with his. As the kiss deepened, his fingers found my zipper and drug it agonizingly slow down the length of my dress.

  As he slid the silk off of my shoulders, I ran my tongue across my fangs, piercing it and letting my blood drip into his mouth. His growl was all the encouragement I needed then and the kiss grew hungry as he pushed his lip up into my fangs. The spicy sweetness of his blood pushed me to the limits of my self control and I needed more.

  His growl echoed in the room as he shifted us, pulling me onto his lap and arching his neck in offering. I straddled him and leaned over, my fangs dragging teasingly down his neck before tenderly biting into the throbbing vein. I groaned the second his hot blood coated my tongue.

  As I lost myself in the taste of him, drinking hungrily, I raised my wrist to his lips. I held back the growl when he tore into my flesh, the pull of the bond nearly knocking me off of my feet the moment my blood began to flow over his lips. His moan was all it took to lose what little control I had left. I drank with wild abandon from this demon that I loved as we completed this bond that would join us for eternity.

  Sev's hand tangled in my hair, pulling my fangs from his neck, the blood dripping down his chest as he captured my lips in a hungry kiss. I could taste the urgency in that kiss as his fingers teased my nipples. My body ached to be one with him. His hands splayed across my hips and lifted me, lowering me slowly down the length of him.

  I caught his lip between my teeth and tugged gently on it as we moved together. The need was urgent but somehow we found the ability to take our time. Every ounce of love I felt for him was put into each movement. With each caress I felt how much he loved me. Our kisses were long and intense, my moans were lost in them over and over as I reached the heights of orgasm multiple times.

  As we lay, a tangle of limbs and sheets, he lightly rubbed my back and I couldn’t help but to smile when I felt how happy he was here with me. I could have stayed there forever with him. My hair draped across his chest and I smiled as his heart beat against my cheek.

  I wanted more than anything to tell him that I loved him but I knew that he felt it was too soon for us to even think about a relationship, so I kept it to myself. I wondered if he knew how special this bond was. I longed to tell him that I could feel the feelings he had for me. I ached to tell him that that was what love feels like, but I knew that it would spoil the moment. So I lay there warm and comfortable pressed against him and soon found myself drifting into downtime. Just as death was claiming me, when he thought I was no longer awake, he softly said the words I'd longed to hear, and I wasn't sure if it was real or a dream.

  “I love you,” he said in a whisper that seemed to echo in the room and I fell asleep with a smile.

  “Did you ever tell him that you heard him?”

  Aaron's voice dragged me reluctantly from the memory. I smiled sadly and shook my head. “No, I never did. I didn't want him to know that I'd heard his deepest secret.”

  “You've been married all of this time and he doesn't know?”

  “Nope, some things are better left unspoken.”

  “Mrs. Severus, may I ask you something else?”

  I nodded, still thinking about the night we completed our bond.

  “Do you think that you can continue to live this way with your husband? Please don't be offended, but I've heard you talk about how much you love him and I see the sadness that lurks just beneath the surface. Can you really just carry on as if everything is okay?”

  The hurt I'd been feeling rushed forth and I struggled to not cry. I wouldn't allow myself to show that emotion, not to a human, no matter how much I liked him.

  “I love my husband a great deal, my dear. I can forg
ive him just about anything.”

  “And your children? How do you explain to them that he misses all of the important things in their lives?”

  “We're not humans, Aaron. They understand that their father must be gone a lot.” I wasn’t completely sure who I was trying to convince more.

  He smiled and nodded, dropping the subject when he saw that I was getting defensive. He stayed another hour, but didn't once ask anything else about Severus. We parted ways with a kiss on the cheek and I promised that I'd be at his book launch party.

  Chapter Thirty

  And true to my word, three months later, I was there. I stepped out of the black town car and ducked into the hotel conference room where the launch was being held. I stopped at a table filled with books and chuckled to myself seeing the cover. Staring back at me was a model that had been made to look as closely like me as possible and a man that tried his best to capture Sev's natural sexuality, but didn't even come close.

  I ran a nail over the embossed title that looked as if it were dripping blood down the paper. I looked up when I felt him watching me, scanning the room until I found hi. Curiosity consumed me as I wondered how long he’d be there. In an instant every available space of air around me was filled with his scent and I stood still as he pushed through the crowd towards me. His lips were warm on my cheek and his hand rested familiarly on my lower back.