Pieces of Me

by Laura Farr

  Lexi looks over at me, her eyes wide. I shrug and laugh. “She’s pretty stubborn,” I tell her. “I don’t think you’ll win this one.”

  “You’ll not,” Rose confirms. “Now go…and take your time. I’ll fetch Bella from preschool, too, so you don’t need to rush back. And I won’t take no for an answer on that, either. I’m going to miss looking after her, so it’s as much for me as it is for you.” She turns and ushers us out of the kitchen before we can even think of arguing. Outside on the steps, we both look at each other and laugh.

  “Is she always like that?” Lexi asks.

  “Pretty much. She’s got four sons and a daughter. From the stories she’s told me about them, she doesn’t take any messing around.”

  “I can tell.” We walk to the truck and I hold the door open for her. “Thank you,” she says quietly as I close the door and walk around the front, climbing into the driver’s seat.

  I had no idea when I woke up this morning I’d be spending today choosing furniture with Lexi. I’ve always spent the anniversary of Emerson’s death alone. I visit the cemetery in the morning, then shut myself away from the world for the rest of the day. When it’s time to pick Bella up, I fix a fake smile on my face and pretend that everything is fine. I figured that was how today would play out, as well. Yet my smile has been anything but fake, and I’m so grateful to Lexi that I’m not spending the day wallowing in self-pity. She thinks it’s me who’s doing her the favor. In reality, it’s the other way around. Spending time with her makes one of the hardest days of the year bearable.

  Lexi

  Two hours later, I’ve chosen a bed frame and mattress, a dresser, and after much deliberation, a loveseat. We decided there wasn’t enough room for a sofa as the living space doubles as my bedroom. However, I wasn’t keen on using my bed as somewhere to sit and wanted a separate area to relax. We manage to find a gorgeous loveseat in gray tartan, the perfect size for the space available. I don’t need a huge sofa—there’s only going to be me sitting in my apartment after all—so a loveseat is the perfect choice.

  Knowing my color scheme will be white and gray to match the loveseat, I choose drapes and a comforter to tie in. As we walk through the bathroom section, I pick up a few essentials, tossing them into the cart that Cooper’s pushing. As we walk into the kitchen section, I reach for a set of pans.

  “You won’t need those, Lexi,” Cooper says. “I’ve got plenty at home, and believe me, they are never used. Plus, there’s no oven in the apartment or space for one.”

  Shaking my head, I chuckle. “You don’t use your pans? Not big on cooking then?”

  “I use one for mac and cheese. It’s my signature dish.”

  “Your signature dish?”

  “Okay. So it’s my only dish. Good thing it’s Bella’s favorite.”

  “You don’t eat mac and cheese every night, do you?” I ask, horrified.

  “Not every night. Sometimes we have pizza.”

  “That’s hardly cooking, Cooper. You only have to take the packaging off and stick it into the oven.”

  “Packaging? I order in.” He smirks, and I roll my eyes as I try to put the pans into the cart.

  “Seriously. You don’t need them.” He takes them from my hands and puts them back onto the shelf. “I thought you were going to use my kitchen anyway. The space in the apartment isn’t much. It was never meant to be a full working kitchen. Just somewhere to make a drink.”

  Reaching for the pans again, I set them in the cart. “I’m going to look at getting a hot plate. What if I want a midnight snack, or you have guests over and I need to eat? You don’t want me getting in your way.”

  “Lexi, the only guests I have are Maddie, Alex, and my parents. I’m happy for you to use the kitchen whenever you like, even at midnight.”

  I sigh and stand in front of the cart, so he can’t reach in and remove the pans. “I’ll get them, just in case.”

  “In case of what?”

  “In case you change your mind.”

  “Okay, but I won’t.”

  “Okay, but getting the pans makes me feel better.”

  “Dude, let her get the pans. You should know by now your woman is always right!”

  I spin around to see a man of similar age to Cooper standing behind us. He’s wearing a baby carrier on his front, and a tiny sleeping baby lies snuggled against his chest.

  “Plus, if you agree, you get out of this hellhole a bit sooner. My wife loves it here. I hate it! Good luck, man.” He slaps Cooper on the back and walks away before either of us can tell him we’re not a couple.

  I look sideways at Cooper, wondering how he’s going to react to someone thinking we’re together, especially today. When his eyes meet mine, a smile erupts on his face and he surprises me by laughing out loud.

  “I guess we do look like a couple arguing over kitchen shit.” He throws his arms up in the air and sighs. “Get the pans. You won’t use them, but I’ll happily tell you ‘I told you so’ in a few months’ time.” He grins, before taking the cart from behind me and pushing it through the store.

  Laughing, I follow him, grabbing a few more things I know I’ll definitely need for the kitchen. Catching up, I toss them into the cart and we head to the warehouse to get the rest of the furniture.

  Fortunately, everything I’ve looked at in the store is in stock, and Cooper is soon loading up a flat cart with boxes. “Will all of this fit in your truck?”

  “It should. I’m not sure about the mattress. We might have to think about having that delivered.”

  I nod and watch as he picks up the box holding part of the dresser. My eyes are drawn to his arms as they flex under the weight. He has a full sleeve tattoo on his right arm, and even though I’ve sworn off men, I can’t deny how sexy he is. He chooses that moment to look up, catching me staring at him. I quickly avert my eyes, heat flooding my face. If he noticed I was gawking at him, he doesn’t say anything, and I couldn’t be more grateful. The last thing I want after everything he’s done for me is for him to think I’m looking for anything more than friendship.

  “That’s everything, I think.” He bends down and double checks the boxes. “Shall we checkout?”

  I nod and follow him to the cashier. After she rings everything through, I hand over my card, keeping everything crossed there’s enough money in my account. The register beeps, signaling the transaction has processed, and I breathe a sigh of relief as I accept my card back from the cashier. I just hope there is enough left to last me until my first paycheck from Cooper.

  Following him to the truck, we load everything in the back. He’s right about the mattress. It’s too big. Taking it back inside, I arrange for delivery in a couple of days’ time. I’ll just have to make sure I’m at the apartment as Cooper will be at work.

  “Hungry?” he asks as we walk across the parking lot.

  “Starving.”

  “Me, too. Let’s find somewhere to eat.”

  Driving along the coast toward Oceanside, we stop at a small diner near the town of Solana Beach. Cooper reverses the truck into a space right outside so we can keep an eye on the stuff in the back. Choosing a booth by the window, Cooper sits opposite me and slides a menu across the table.

  “I think I’ll have a cheeseburger. What about you?” he asks, looking up from the menu.

  “Hmmm… It all looks so good, I can’t decide.”

  While I’m deliberating, the waitress arrives to take our drink order. Looking at her over the menu, I see her falling over herself to get Cooper’s attention. I smile to myself as she leaves, with nothing more from him than his drink order.

  “Decided yet?” he asks.

  “The chicken burger, I think. No, the hot dog! No, the chicken burger. Definitely the burger!”

  He laughs. “Are you always this indecisive?”

  “Yes… No… Sometimes.” I drop my head to the table and groan.

  “I guess that’s a yes.” He laughs again just as the waitress returns wit
h our drinks.

  “You sound like you’re having fun,” the flirty waitress says as she puts Cooper’s drink in front of him. She doesn’t take her eyes off him as she bangs my glass down, spilling my soda on the table. Cooper catches my eye and winks.

  “I am having fun, with my girlfriend, and I think you’ve spilled her drink. Could you wipe it up, please? Then we’d like to order.” He flashes me a smile.

  She looks my way as if I’m shit on her shoe. I smile sweetly at her and she turns on her heel and stalks off.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. What a complete bitch.”

  I shrug and take a sip of my soda. “The lengths some women will go to in order to get a hot guy’s attention never fails to amaze me.”

  “Sounds like you’re talking from experience?”

  “Yeah, maybe…” I trail off, grateful to see the sour-faced waitress returning with a cloth. Even dealing with her is better than talking about Greg, especially with Cooper.

  After ordering our food, the rude waitress stalks off. I frown. “I hope she’s not going to spit in our fries.”

  “Nah, we’re good. It’s more than her job is worth.”

  “I guess,” I mumble, hoping he’s right. I take a mouthful of soda just as Cooper sits forward in his seat, leaning across the table.

  “So, you think I’m hot?” he asks, his eyebrows raised in question. I choke on my soda, coughing and spluttering behind my hand.

  “Wh-what?” I stutter, my eyes wide. He sits back in the booth and folds his arms across his chest. I can’t figure out if he’s pissed or not. He must have seen me checking him out when we were in IKEA and has waited until now to say something. “Cooper, I’m so—”

  He bursts out laughing, cutting me off mid-sentence. I stare at him with wide eyes, not having a clue what’s going on.

  “Lexi, I’m joking. God, your face is a picture.” He throws his head back and laughs again. He must see the confusion on my face. He nods to where the bitchy waitress is standing. “You know? What you just said about the lengths some woman will go to in order to get a hot guy’s attention.”

  I groan inwardly. I had no idea I’d called him hot.

  “Oh! I didn’t mean you,” I blurt out. It’s his turn for his eyes to go wide, and I feel my face flush. It occurs to me that I’m just digging myself a bigger hole, and I drop my head onto the table. “Can we talk about something else?” I mumble, my head still on the table.

  When he laughs, I slowly lift my head. Once he’s stopped laughing, he smiles at me.

  “Thanks for this, Lexi. It’s exactly what I needed today.”

  “What? Me making an ass of myself in front of my new boss?”

  “You haven’t made an ass of yourself, but you have made me laugh. You’ve managed to make a day I thought would be unbearable a little easier. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much.”

  I nod and smile. “Ahh, yes. All of my stupid comments were just a ploy to get you to laugh.” I wink, glad I’m able to make this incredibly hard day that bit easier, even if he is laughing at me. If it helps him, he can laugh at me all he likes.

  “And, Lexi, I’m going to be your boss, but I’d like to think we’re friends, too.”

  “I’d like that.” I pause and cock my head. “So, you know how we’re friends now?”

  “Yes…,” he says slowly.

  “How good are you at assembling furniture, friend?”

  “I’m pretty good.” He laughs. “Why? Do you know someone who has furniture that needs putting together?” I roll my eyes and pick up a straw off the table, throwing it at him. He catches it and tosses it back. “I’ll help you, Lexi. How about we strike a deal? I’ll help with your furniture, if you put my pans to good use and cook us all a meal that isn’t mac and cheese?”

  “Deal!” I exclaim, holding my hand out across the table. He sits forward in his seat as he places his hand in mine.

  “Deal,” he says quietly. Neither of us notice the waitress has arrived with our food until she clears her throat. Cooper releases my hand and sits back in the booth. The air has thickened between us, and I’m grateful for the interruption from the waitress.

  “Cheeseburger?” she asks, her voice deadpan.

  “That’s me,” Cooper says, holding his hand up. She bangs the plate heavily on the table in front of him, then turns to me.

  “Then the chicken burger must be yours. Enjoy!” She smirks as she pretty much throws it at me before storming off.

  “We’ve made a friend for life there,” I say sarcastically. “She’s definitely spat in my fries, hasn’t she?”

  Cooper watches after her and shakes his head. “She’s crazy, that’s for sure. Here. Have mine, just in case.” He picks up the little silver bucket that the fries are served in and passes them across the table to me.

  “I can’t take your fries,” I tell him, pushing them back. “I’ll just eat my burger.”

  “We’ll share.” I watch as he takes a handful of fries and puts them onto his plate before pushing the bucket back over.

  “Thanks.”

  “Anytime.”

  As we eat, I ask Cooper questions about Bella—what she likes, what she doesn’t like, if she’s allergic to anything. It sounds like she’s a typical four-year-old. Into everything Disney princess, and if it’s pink, it’s even better. She likes carrots, hates broccoli, and is allergic to Band-Aids. I file all the information away in my mind, hoping I’ll remember everything. After speaking to Rose earlier, I know Bella is in preschool Mondays and Fridays all day, and Wednesday mornings. I can’t wait to start. I’m even looking forward to the housework side of it. It’s so different from my job in Richmond, but I’m more than ready for a fresh start.

  After eating, I visit the restroom. When I get back to the table, I discover that Cooper has paid the check.

  “I wanted to pick up the check as a thank you for all your help, Cooper.”

  “Lexi, I saw you hold your breath as you paid for your stuff in IKEA. I can buy you lunch. If it matters to you that much, you can get the check next time.”

  “Thank you, and I’ll hold you to that.” I’m hoping there will be a next time. I know we’ve not done anything that exciting, but I’ve had a great time.

  “Let’s head back. Maybe we can start on the furniture before Bella gets home?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Cooper is quiet on the journey home, and I don’t push him into a conversation. As much as he says I’ve cheered him up, today has to be hard for him. Emerson must be on his mind constantly. As I stare out of the window at the ocean flashing past, I wonder if Bella is aware of what today is. She is so young, I can’t imagine Cooper would have told her. It’s clear to see that everyone around her loves her fiercely, but growing up without a mom is going to be tough. Even though I never knew Emerson, I can’t help but feel heartbroken for her. She’s missing out on so much, especially with Bella.

  Knowing Cooper and Bella lost Emerson in the blink of an eye highlights how fragile life is. It’s made me realize I need to grab any happiness that comes my way and hold on tightly. Who knows what tomorrow may bring? Looking after Bella will be my light in the dark after a rough few months. If anyone can brighten my life, it’ll be her.

  Cooper

  Driving toward Oceanside, I’m aware that I’m quiet. I should be thinking of Emerson, especially today, and I guess that’s what Lexi thinks I’m doing. Instead, I’m remembering how good it felt when I took her hand in mine. I hadn’t held a woman’s hand in four years, and until that moment, I hadn’t realized I missed it. I was used to holding hands, but it was usually a much smaller hand encased in mine. Holding Lexi’s felt good. I can’t help wishing the waitress hadn’t interrupted us and I could have held her hand for a little longer. I shake my head and groan inwardly at my wayward thoughts. What the hell is the matter with me? Lexi is my friend, nothing more. I’m obviously confusing these feelings I’m having with being grateful to her for taking
my mind off today. She is great company, and it’s been a while since I’ve been out alone with someone of the opposite sex who wasn’t either Maddie or Bella. I’m definitely reading too much into it.

  Shaking off feelings I’m not comfortable with, I slow as we drive along Main Street in Oceanside. “Do you need to grab anything from Maddie’s?” I ask, breaking the silence in the truck.

  She shakes her head. “I don’t think so...unless Bella wants me to go swimming. I did promise her yesterday. Do you think she’ll remember?” I burst out laughing and she looks at me in surprise.

  “Yeah, Lexi. She’ll remember. She remembers everything.”

  “In that case, I need to swing by and get my bikini.”

  I nod and turn off Main Street in the direction of Maddie’s apartment. Pulling up outside, I wait in the truck while she grabs what she needs.

  “I forgot to tell you,” I say as she climbs back into the truck. “I took Bella’s floaties off in the pool last night. She swam a width on her own.”

  “That’s brilliant!” she cries, turning toward me. “Do you think she’ll do it again with me?”

  I chuckle at her excitement. “I’m sure she will. She was so proud of herself. The only problem is she thinks she can swim now and refuses to wear her floaties.”

  “She’s pretty stubborn then?”

  “Stubborn, independent, sassy… This list goes on. I’ve no idea what I’m going to do with her when she’s a teenager.”

  “You’ll figure it out, Cooper. You’ve gotten this far.”

  I nod, and we drive the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

  Reversing the truck onto the driveway, I jump out and begin to unload the boxes from the back. “Let me help,” Lexi says, taking the end of one of the larger boxes. Walking toward the apartment steps, we manage to get it inside.

  “Wow,” she exclaims, breathless, as we set the box down in the middle of the empty room. “Rose has done a great job tidying this place up. It looks amazing.”