In a heartbeat (Heartbeat #1)

by Kostova, Teodora

  “Not yet. When we last spoke I told her about Max, about having feelings for him, but I also had some reservations about being with him. She advised me to go with my heart and take a chance if I thought it was worth it.”

  “That sounds like something she’d say,” Niki said and smiled. Then she reached over the table and took Stella’s hand in hers. “Listen, honey, I know how unfair life has been for you and I know it must be hard to let yourself want something badly, only to realise it could be taken from you at any moment. But you have to let go of that feeling. You have to try and appreciate what you have right now and not think about the future too much, because nobody knows what it holds. If Max is what you want right now, then forget about everything else and be with him. See where that takes you. Don’t miss out on any chances in life because you’re afraid you might get hurt.”

  By the time she was finished talking, both Niki and Stella had unshed tears in their eyes. Her aunt knew exactly how she was feeling because she’d been there; she’d lost the man she’d loved. Niki knew exactly what was bothering Stella and exactly what to say to lift the weight off her shoulders. Everything she’d said was absolutely true. Even if your life seemed perfect at the moment, with no uncertain future looming over it, it could change in a heartbeat. That didn’t mean you should stop living it.

  “Thank you.” That was all Stella could say. Niki smiled and released her hand, leaning back in her chair. “Aunt Niki, are you sure you’re OK with Max spending the night here? Not just last night, but ... some other nights as well?”

  “I don’t mind; you’re a grown woman. Just make sure your mum knows, though. It feels wrong to keep this from her.”

  “Of course. I really want to tell her,” said Stella and grinned. She couldn’t wait to share how happy she was with her mother.

  “Max is a really great guy, I knew you’d like him even before you came. He helped Lisa through a lot. He’s definitely someone you can count on, and that’s very rare to find.”

  The timer for the vegetables put an end to their conversation and they got busy serving the food into plates. Lisa came in just as Stella was putting the salad on the table and she fixed her a plate, too. They finished their meal quickly, laughter and easy banter flowing. Lisa seemed in a good mood and that would be extremely beneficial for their conversation later. The girls shooed Niki out of the kitchen to go and relax while they cleaned the table. Once that was finished, Lisa poured a glass of Prosecco for herself and opened a bottle of San Pellegrino aranciata for Stella as they moved to the living room.

  “You feel like sharing something?” Lisa asked, a playful edge to her voice.

  Why isn’t she mad?

  “I do, actually. Max spent the night here, as you may have assumed.”

  “As in ‘Max and I had sex’ spent the night here?” Lisa’s lips turned up as if she wanted to smile but was holding it back.

  “As in ‘Max and I had the best, mind-blowing sex ever’ spent the night,” said Stella, arching an eyebrow and grinning.

  “Ewww, that’s gross. He’s my friend; I don’t need to hear about his abilities in the bedroom.”

  That was not how Stella had imagined that conversation would go. With Lisa she never knew what to expect – her emotional grid was off the charts. Still, she was glad her cousin had come round and accepted the idea of her and Max together. She’d missed their easy, girly talks.

  “So, you’re OK with this?” Stella asked.

  “If you’re OK with it, then I am too.”

  “But that’s not what you said before ...”

  “I know what I said. It wasn’t anything you didn’t already know. You’re one of the most considerate, responsible, compassionate people I know, Stella. I trust that if you’ve come to terms with the outcome of your decision, it must be worth it. I’m done judging people.” Lisa flinched at her own words and raw pain clouded her features for a second. Before Stella could comment though, Lisa shook her head, dispersing the emotion as quickly as it had appeared. “And besides, I’m glad you finally hooked up; the sexual tension between you two was giving me a headache.” They both laughed and took a sip of their drinks. “You haven’t told him, have you?” She didn’t need to clarify that she meant the cancer, Stella knew.

  “No. And I’m not going to. Last night when he came into my room we talked and we decided not to think beyond the six weeks I have left here. He knows I’m going home after that and it’ll be over between us, and he’s OK with that.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. That’s what he said, so there’s no point in telling him. I don’t want him looking at me differently. All I want is to enjoy what we have right now and not think of anything else. I’m tired of over-thinking stuff, Lis.”

  “I know. Me too.” There was an unexpected sadness in her voice and Stella contemplated asking her, again, what she was hiding and why. But the conversation about Max had gone so well that she didn’t want to ruin the moment.

  “I’m so glad you’re fine with us being together. It would have felt so wrong if you weren’t. You’re very important to me, Lis – I hope you know that.” Stella reached over and entwined her fingers with her cousin’s, hoping that maybe if she believed how much Stella loved her, she’d tell her what was going on with her.

  “I know. You’re very important to me, too. I’m sorry if I acted like a bitch before ...”

  “Stop it: you didn’t. You were just looking out for us, I know that. But sometimes what we want is not what’s best for us, and even if we know that it’s not going to end well, we still plunge ourselves into it head first and enjoy every minute, because we crave it so much that any rational thought is left far behind.”

  Lisa nodded, deep in thought, and Stella couldn’t help but wonder if she was applying her words to some other situation.

  “Is he coming over tonight?” Lisa finally asked.

  “Yeah. And you’ll have to get used to him being around a lot. And by a lot I mean every night. At least, that’s what he says.”

  “I’m not surprised. When Max wants something he goes all out.” There it was – that sadness again.

  Am I missing something?

  “Lis, is there something you want to share?”

  Lisa shook her head and drank the last of her wine.

  “I’m tired; I’ve had a long day. I think I’ll go to bed.”

  “Sure. Are you working tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, at the gallery during the day. I’ll be home in the evening.”

  She kissed Stella goodnight and climbed the stairs to her room. Looking at the clock on the wall, Stella realised she had at least two hours until Max came. Feeling suddenly exhausted, she went to her own room, leaving her phone on the pillow next to her and, drinking in Max’s scent all over her bed, fell asleep.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  The phone’s ringing woke Stella up and she blindly felt around until she managed to locate it and pick up.

  “Did I wake you?” Max’s voice filled her head, her body, her entire universe. It spread warmth all over her and her heart started beating faster, recognising that she’d be in his arms very soon.

  “Mm-hm,” she murmured, still under the influence of sleep.

  “Come and open the door, please,” Max breathed down the line, intense urgency dripping from his every word.

  Disconnecting the call, Stella walked quietly to the front door and unlocked it. Max slipped in and closed it behind him. It was dark inside; the only source of light was coming through the windows from the street lamps outside. He was wearing dark jeans and a dark T-shirt, and his eyes looked black in the dim light. As he leaned back against the door and crossed his ankles, he looked dangerous. Sinful.

  Stella couldn’t move. He had fixed her in place with his stare and she waited until he told her what to do. Sweeping his eyes from her feet to her head, slowly, deliberately, Max gave her a lopsided smile and extending an arm towards her said,

  “Come here.”
His voice was pure sex – low, husky, promising. She went to him and he crushed her against his chest, devouring her mouth with his. He licked and sucked and bit her lips until Stella couldn’t even remember what breathing was and why it was necessary. His hands dug in her hips as he lifted her up against him and she wrapped her legs around him. He carried her upstairs, his mouth never leaving hers.

  “I missed you,” he said hoarsely as he laid her on the bed. Max left his lips to trail kisses along her neck, as his hand tugged the hem of her T-shirt up and over her head. Stella pushed up on her elbows, watching him, as he kissed her stomach. His eyes met hers and the fire in them was different from last night. Tonight it was pure inferno – inpatient, raging, determined. It turned her on so much that she couldn’t wait a second longer.

  “Max ...” she bit her lip as he sucked a nipple in his mouth, bringing her to the edge.

  “Yes, baby?” he teased, as he sucked her other nipple, his eyes never leaving hers.

  “I want you inside me, now.” Her demand sounded weak and breathless but it was enough to make Max lose all control. He pushed her up on the bed, dragging her shorts off along with her knickers, and in two swift movements his clothes were gone, too. Rolling the condom on, Max pushed into her without a second of hesitation and made her cry out his name.

  They’d made love in the shower, then again on the bed, until they were both completely exhausted. Stella was lying on top of Max, her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it calmed down. His chest rose up and down in a rhythmic movement, while his hands caressed the skin on her back.

  They didn’t speak; neither of them had the energy for that. There was nothing to say – just being together in that moment was perfect. Just before she drifted off to sleep, Stella felt Max pull the covers up on top of them and his strong arms wrapped around her securely.

  “Stella, wake up, baby.” Max’s voice came from somewhere close and yet so far away. Stella didn’t want to wake up. Opening one eye and frowning, she saw Max’s face two inches from hers and he smiled, bringing his lips to hers. “You’re so sexy when you’re sleepy,” he murmured against her mouth. When he pulled away he had a huge grin on his face, but Stella continued frowning. Why was he waking her up? It was so nice and warm and cosy in here. The question must have shown in her one open eye because he said, “Come on, let’s go for a run before I go to work.”

  Sharply, she opened her other eye and gave him an incredulous look. He laughed and kissed her again, this time lingering longer.

  “I don’t want to go without you, babe. Come on, I promise I’ll make it worth your while,” he winked at her, and Stella couldn’t resist any longer the smile threatening to appear on her face.

  Max ran behind her, ahead of her, next to her, circling her, slapping her ass, scooping her up and teasing her to catch him. He was everywhere, all around her. They made more than a few kiss stops which, instead of calming her heartbeat, increased it to near bursting level.

  “I’ve wanted to do this since the first time I met you,” he whispered as he sucked the skin under her ear and his hands travelled down her back to her ass, cupping it not too gently.

  “Mmmm,” Stella moaned at the back of her throat. “I’ll show you what I wanted to do since the first time I met you when we get home. It’s kind of too graphic for an open space, though,” she whispered back. Max pulled away, took one look at her face to make sure she wasn’t joking and, tugging on her hand, led her home, where she did show him what she had in mind. Twice.

  Niki and Lisa must have left during the time they had been locked in Stella’s bedroom, because when they finally got dressed and went to the kitchen for coffee, the house was empty. Stella made coffee while Max prepared some sandwiches.

  “So, I see Lisa’s gone to work. What are you going to do today?” Max asked, spreading butter on a piece of bread.

  “Don’t know,” said Stella and shrugged.

  “Why don’t you come to the beach? It’s Tuesday, so it shouldn’t be too busy.”

  “I guess I can come. For you,” Stella grinned and raised an eyebrow playfully.

  “You’re playing with fire, babe. One more comment like this and I’ll swing you over my shoulder and lock you back in the bedroom,” said Max, pointing at her with the butter knife in a mock threat.

  “I’ve been playing with fire since I met you. I’m kind of fire-resistant by now.”

  “Yeah? We’ll see about that.”

  They went out together, hand in hand, and Max drove them to the beach. He had an overnight bag packed in the boot of his car where, very thoughtfully, he had his uniform, some toiletries and a change of clothes.

  Stella had packed her iPod, Kindle and a couple of magazines to keep her entertained. The beach wasn’t too busy, but Max was at work so he couldn’t keep her company all the time. He insisted on her positioning her towel right next to his station, so that he could stop by every now and again, kiss her until she wanted so much more than a kiss, and get back to work.

  Just as Stella was typing a text to Lisa, something in the water grabbed her attention. Someone was waving their arms frantically, disappearing under the surface and then coming back up again. Her brain was too slow to register what was happening, but it caught up with the events when Max shot past her, running much faster than she’d ever seen him do before. He dived into the sea and swam towards the waving arms, which were starting to show over the surface after much longer intervals. It all happened so fast that Stella could barely move. She stood up, frozen to the spot, watching what was happening in the water with terror in her eyes.

  Someone was drowning. And Max had gone in to try and save them.

  Soon he reached the person and, grabbing them under the arms, swam towards the safety of the shore. It took him considerably longer to swim back than to go in.

  Finally, they reached the shore and Stella moved closer to see what was happening. People had gathered all around and watched helplessly as Max expertly performed CPR on the plump, middle-aged man he had just dragged from the sea. Two other lifeguards arrived, one moving the crowd away from the scene, the other helping Max with the CPR. The man coughed and they turned him onto his side as water streamed out of his mouth. He started taking ragged breaths and, seeing that he’d be fine, Max rolled off him and sat on the sand, his head in his hands.

  Stella pushed through the crowd, trying to get to him, when the third lifeguard grabbed her upper arm and pulled her back.

  “Let go of me!” she shouted at him, with such menace that he was startled for a second and loosened his grip on her. Stella didn’t hesitate as she swung her arm from his grasp and ran to Max.

  “Max, baby – are you OK?” She knelt in front of him, afraid to touch him. He lifted his head and his face was dangerously pale. His eyes looked lifeless and sunken, as if he didn’t know where he was. “Oh, God ...” Stella embraced him and he relaxed his head on her shoulder. “It’s OK, baby; he’s fine. You saved him. You hear me? You saved someone’s life.”

  Max’s arms came around her and he pulled her to him, squeezing her tightly as his whole body trembled as if in shock. Nobody bothered them for a while, and Max managed to calm down. The colour of his face slowly returned and he seemed almost fine.

  As they stood there, pressed to each other, paramedics rushed by and led the rescued man away. The lifeguard who had tried to stop Stella came closer and said,

  “Hey man – you OK?” Max nodded, but the guy knew better. “Why don’t you go home? I’ll cover for you. You’ve done your job for today,” he said and patted him on the back. Max nodded again and the lifeguard left.

  They didn’t leave straight away. Max looked better, but he needed some more time to fully compose himself.

  “Was that the first time you’ve saved someone?” Stella asked softly, thinking that must be the reason why he was so shaken by the experience.

  “No, it was my third. It never gets any easier. The swim back is the most agonising thin
g in the world. This person is unconscious in your arms and heavy as hell and you’re trying to drag them back, when all you can think about is ‘Please don’t die’. It seems like hours before you pull them to the shore and start CPR, still chanting ‘Please don’t die’ in your head. When they cough and the water comes out of their lungs, the relief you feel is so intense that it literally knocks you off your feet. And then you can’t help but think, what if next time I’m not that lucky? What if next time they don’t survive?”

  Stella didn’t know what to say to that. She’d never saved anyone’s life and had no idea how that felt. It must be pretty stressful to have a job where people’s lives depended on you. She said the only thing that she felt right now:

  “I’m proud of you, Massimo Selvaggio. You’re an amazing person.”

  Max looked at her with surprise, gratitude and relief written all over his face.

  “How did you know my last name?” he asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

  “I have my ways.”

  “Yeah? I have mine, too, Ms Quinn.”

  Stella laughed and that seemed to relax him even more. If it wasn’t for the shadow lurking behind his eyes, he’d be the same Max he was half an hour ago.

  “Wanna go?” he asked.

  “Let me just grab my stuff.”

  Max waited for her until she’d packed her bag and put her sundress back on and then, taking her hand, led her to the car. Once they reached it, he put their stuff in the boot and when he’d closed it, he pressed Stella against it.

  *

  As Max pushed Stella against his car and put both his arms around her, she was a little surprised, but cooperated. Licking her lips, because she knew what was coming, she wrapped her hands around his neck and met him halfway. Their lips crashed, urgent and desperate, one seeking comfort, the other more than happy to provide it.