Brianna's Sinful Cowboys [Casanova Cowboys 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Rhea Regale

  Rylan whipped around and pinned Carter with a cold glare. “Absolutely not.”

  “You already have.”

  He escaped the ferocious influx of fiery arousal in the frigid night, but Carter’s last remark followed him across the snow-slick deck. He gripped the ice-crusted rail. The heat flowing through his body melted the layers of ice and snow, the cold liquid seeping through his fingers and dripping off the tips. He grappled for an image of Hailey, the guilt and anguish that he resorted to when he needed an anchor back to reality. Not reality. A reminder. A stark reminder of how he’d lost everything when Hailey died. His dreams of a future, a family, and children.

  He dropped his head between his stiff arms, rocking back on his heels. Cold licked his neck, but heat seared his insides. His fucking cock pulsed and he couldn’t wipe the images of Brianna from his mind. The lung-cinching reminder of their encounter at his station squeezed a groan from his throat. She ruined the rest of his day. He couldn’t concentrate on his reports, his files, anything. He took his break at his house, and even tried to tamp down his desires with a cold shower, only to end up jerking off with her image plastered in his mind and feeling exhausted afterward.

  Earlier, he intended to have a few words with her, maybe even give her a reason to high tail it out of Ryder and spare him another day in her presence. Cowardly way of dealin’ with your problems, Ry. When he saw her ex rough-handling her, a beastly fierceness he’d never experienced before flooded him. Oh how he wanted to pummel the bastard with his bare fists until his face was unrecognizable before he put a bullet through that rich man’s pretty head, but he managed to keep his cool. It had been a good thing he didn’t check on Brianna before the man had left because seeing those marks on her wrist elicited a lethal ire from the pit of his stomach tempting him to go after the prick and knock some well-needed sense into him.

  Nonono. This ain’t happenin’. Not to me.

  “Ry, remember when you picked me up from the airport I told you about findin’ someone who can give you somethin’ new?”

  Rylan froze, right down to the breath in his lungs. He stared at the snow caked around the edges of his boots, his muscles tensing with each slow step that announced Jackson’s approach. The tips of Jackson’s boots came up alongside his, and the air around him turned heavy with the gentle flow of energy. “Brianna told me about your visit in the hospital. You told her she had an angel watching over her, and she says that angel was you.”

  Rylan clenched his teeth, a dull pain working along his jaw.

  “Have you thought that maybe you had an angel watchin’ over you that day? One that brought you to her aid in hopes of givin’ you direction?”

  Rylan braced himself, and every thinly stitched scar along his heart for what he knew was about to hit. He’d seen it in Jackson’s eyes, knew the man thought about it but kept the delicate issue at bay.

  “An angel who lost her life where you ultimately saved Brianna’s?”

  The pain and anguish, the raw pulse of grief and loss exploded, clawing away at his barriers. A knot formed at the base of his throat. He tightened his fingers around the cold wood, the snow and ice biting deep into his flesh. His fingertips had already gone numb.

  “It could’ve been anyone,” Rylan said, his voice low and strained.

  “In all the years you’ve been sheriff, in all your life, have you ever done what you did that day for another at that site, or anywhere?” Jackson leaned against the railing, folding his hands over the edge. Rylan lifted his head and dared to expose the vulnerable string of his turmoil to his mischievous friend. Only now, Jackson had lost all sense of humor. He gazed out across the large expanse of Carter’s night-drenched property. “You’ve fought everythin’ to keep her at arm’s length because of that connection. Maybe that connection was made for a reason.”

  “Jackson, she’s your woman. That’s why the distance,” Rylan groused.

  “Yeah, she is.” At last, Jackson turned to Rylan. “You want her just as bad as I do, don’t you?”

  Rylan snorted and tried to swallow the lump that continued to distort his voice. “Absurd.”

  “No offense, but you and Bree are terrible at hidin’ your attraction to each other.” Jackson rocked closer to Rylan and said in a hushed tone, “Carter told me about your reaction to Sean this mornin’. You had a few people raisin’ brows when you offered to drive her back to Miss Bess’s place ’cause Sheriff Rylan doesn’t drive people anywhere unless they’re in the backseat. And he certainly doesn’t hug a victim of a dispute. Or does he?”

  “I feel a little more responsible for her. She’s my best friend’s woman.”

  “You know you keep repeatin’ that?” Jackson looked back out on the yard. Rylan sighed and settled on his elbows. He flexed his fingers, hoping to get the blood running again, and stared out in Jackson’s path. “I don’t think you’ve come to terms with the events around Hailey’s death.”

  “I think I have, Jax.”

  “Oh yeah?” Jackson gave his head a sharp tip toward Rylan’s ass. “Still carryin’ that engagement ring around with you.” Jackson grabbed hold of Rylan’s shoulder and gave him a tight squeeze. “Hey, they always say the first year is the hardest. There is nothin’ wrong with grievin’, but there’s somethin’ wrong when you refuse to open yourself up to those around you and allow yourself a chance to live again. Hailey would smack you upside the head if she saw you like this, always brooding, takin’ no joy in life. You know as well as I do that this self-imposed punishment is exactly that. You’ve blamed yourself for not bein’ able to save her. You’re sheriff. You’ve been through all the rescue trainin’. It was your job to save her, to protect her. You should’ve been able to do somethin’, but you couldn’t.”

  Rylan closed his eyes, the sting of tears and the brisk air setting him on edge. That unrelenting feel of helplessness clawed out of its cave. The dull throb that hovered around his jaw crept up along the sides of his face.

  Jackson stretched his arm around his shoulders. “Her accident was not your fault. I got the whole story from Colt and Landon. She died on impact. There was nothin’ anyone could do for her. She would never, never, want you to hold this terrible blame inside yourself. She wants you to let it go. Let her go.”

  Rylan’s lips grew tight, pressing together as a single tear dropped down his cheek. He swiped it away. Every ounce of strength and fight went out of him with a sharp exhale, because the truth shamed him more that his misplaced attraction to Brianna.

  I let her go the mornin’ I saved Brianna, and I’m torn because I can’t have the woman who has filled the void Hailey left.

  “I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said that maybe Hailey was lookin’ out for you when you rescued Brianna. Angels are an unseen truth that manifest when we need them most. Everythin’ you did to save Brianna came from that burin’ hurt of not bein’ able to save Hailey. That sense of failure, and Rylan Ryder is no failure.”

  “You’re right,” Rylan murmured. Months of emotional exhaustion came out in those two words. He straightened up, rubbed his face with his palms, and wove his fingers together at the back of his neck. He followed Jackson as his friend stood up, turned, and leaned his ass against the railing. “I know there wasn’t a thing I could do, but it doesn’t make it any easier. That sense of responsibility for the one you love.” He shook his head slow and thoughtful, his brow pinching. “That idea of inadequacy when it comes to takin’ care of your own.”

  “Hell, man. You are the furthest thing from inadequate.” Jackson crossed his ankles and his arms. The first hint of his old self came through in a prodding grin. “Do you like her?”

  “Who? Brianna?” He dropped his hands and hooked his thumbs on his belt loops. “We’re talkin’ about Hailey.”

  “No we’re not. We’re talkin’ about somethin’ you’ve refused to hear.”

  Rylan narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “Jackson, what the hell are you gettin’ at?”

  “Aside from C
olt, you’re the most conservative of all your cousins. Carter was fillin’ me in on all the action with your cousins I’ve missed over the past few months, even though he’s only been back for a couple weeks. That Lexi gal is wearin’ two weddin’ bands. Noticed them earlier tonight. She’s been pretty cozy with both Travis and Brent. Then there’s the news that Craig and Brody are back on talkin’ terms because of Mandy, and the three of them are engaged. Got the scoop on Carter.” Jackson’s brow furrowed. Rylan did everything to bite his tongue from dropping a road block on this conversation. “I still can’t see Carter and Braden as a couple, but I’ll tell you somethin’. Summer is so loved by those two boys that I’m almost jealous.”

  “Oh no, Jackson.” Rylan stepped back, trying to shade his expression from Jackson. “I’m not the sharin’ type.”

  “Ry, think about it. We’ve been close friends—”

  Rylan’s hand shot up. “Hey, do you hear yourself? You’re asking for a threesome. Have you discussed this with Brianna by chance? Or are you goin’ on some secret plan in that head of yours, one that doesn’t include her findin’ out your idea until the very last minute? Does she have any clue how connivin’ a jackass you can be?”

  Rylan groaned and headed back toward the house, Jackson at his heels. He wasn’t about to entertain any ideas about Brianna, or any set up involving the three of them. Because I already have.

  “I’ve spoken with her, Rylan.”

  Rylan came up short. His escape stood a few feet away. Through the windows, he spotted Craig and Brody by the kitchen table. The two brothers were laughing with Braden and Brent. A moment later, Mandy arrived.

  Jackson came up behind him, but he remained silent as Rylan watched the shameless way his cousins kissed her and hugged her, holding her between them. Perfectly comfortable with somethin’ so unconventional. They didn’t give a shit what anyone thought because they were happy. In the end, wasn’t that all that mattered?

  “You’ve got a hard-on for Bree. You can’t deny it when the evidence becomes quite clear in your pants anytime she’s around. I’m puttin’ it on the table. We can try it and see what happens. We used to joke around about this type of thing—”

  “Beer?” Rylan interrupted. Damn, that door couldn’t come quick enough. Only a short time ago, he craved the solitude. Now, he wanted the safety of a crowd to keep from building on his evolving fantasy. And yet, he couldn’t move.

  “That distraction ain’t gonna work,” Jackson said.

  Lexi walked into the scene. Brent pulled her under his arm. Their kiss could’ve turned winter to summer like a switch.

  “You said you spoke with Brianna.” Slowly, Rylan twisted around to face Jackson. “Where’re her thoughts in all of this?”

  Tell me what I want to hear. Tell me she won’t consider it.

  “You’re holdin’ your breath. Either you want to prove me wrong or you’re anticipatin’ a letdown.” Jackson took one step closer, bringing him arm’s length away. Rylan let out his held breath and made sure not to make that slip again. “Why don’t you ask her? I would never dream of sharin’ my woman with anyone else, Rylan, but it’s different with you. We’ve grown up together, spent our lives along side each other. We know what the other is goin’ to say, think, and do. As unnatural as it may seem to you, I honestly believe there can be nothin’ more natural than the three of us together. Look at your cousins. Happy as I’ve ever seen them. Brody’s put his music career on a back burner to be with Mandy and Craig. Trav is in heaven with Lexi and Brent. I’ve yet to encounter a love so strong as that shared between Carter, Braden, and Summer, but I think if we give it a chance, we might have them beat. You love, and when you do, you give everythin’ you’ve got. Stop fightin’ what you know is there, what I know is there. Stop it, Rylan, and give in. This is not a time to be stubborn ’cause the only one you’re punishin’ is yourself.”

  “You two are here tryin’ to get Colt to sell off a chunk of the ranch so your boss man can build some luxury resort and spa. First, that ain’t happenin’. Addin’ this new sex trio idea into the mix in hopes of playin’ on somethin’ you think I’m feelin’ ain’t gonna get me to budge on my decision.”

  Jackson waved his argument aside and groaned. “We’re not talkin’ about that shit right now, Rylan. I’m done with the deal. I wasn’t workin’ on it from the start. I’ve been wantin’ to come home for a few months now, and this was the perfect opportunity for me to return and show Bree where I’m from with a goal to convince her to move back with me.”

  Rylan rubbed his temple, his brow cinching. He glanced around the deck, ensuring their privacy, and hitched a thumb over his shoulder. “Um, you realize Brianna is workin’ that contract, right? And she thinks you’re helpin’ her? Does she realize you’re leavin’ her hangin’?” He let out a sharp breath and turned his face to the sky. He had to get out of this house, away from all his loving cousins. He had to keep his distance from Brianna, and do everything to keep Jackson’s head on straight.

  The icy air that filled his lungs when he sucked in a deep breath did something to clear his mind. He dropped his head and leveled his gaze on Jackson. “This conversation is over. Done. Ridiculous. The two of you love each other. I have no place in that, nor would I care to tag along for some fun in the bed until you leave. It ain’t fair, especially to me. That’s not how I roll.”

  Jackson shrugged a shoulder. His nonchalance didn’t fit with the churning thoughts evident in his darkening eyes. “Doin’ what you do best when you’re faced with a situation you don’t know how to handle. You rationalize. You can sit here and have that lonely conversation with yourself once I’m gone. Just admit that you want her, and the idea of havin’ a taste of what your cousins are enjoyin’ every night is piquin’ your interest.”

  “Never,” he growled.

  “I didn’t say to admit it to me, Rylan Ryder.” Jackson held his eyes for a long moment. He ducked his head as he brushed by Rylan and headed toward the house. The crunch of hard snow ceased at Rylan’s back. “I’m gonna leave you with this because you are the closest thing to a brother I will ever have. Nothin’ you do will ever bring Hailey back. Tryin’ to fight attraction with dismal memories is only gonna result in happiness slippin’ away. Many aren’t given one chance at love. When you’re given two, only a fuckin’ stubborn fool would watch it slip away.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “We’ll be down at the stables waitin’ for you.” Jackson spun Brianna under his arm and tugged her against his chest. She laughed quietly, grabbing his coat and burying her face in his shoulder.

  On the other side of the call, Rylan cleared his throat. “Can’t.”

  “Man, thought we discussed this yesterday.”

  Brianna looked up at him, her smile fading. Jackson rolled his eyes to the sky and shook his head.

  “Somethin’ came up.”

  “You’re not workin’ until tonight. What came up?”

  “Jax, I can’t meet you. Sorry. Have fun.”

  “Ry,” Jackson groaned. A subtle beep signaled the disconnected call. Jackson pulled the phone away from his ear and glanced at the screen. “Somethin’ came up.”

  “He hasn’t come around since the other night when we were at Carter’s house,” Brianna said. The childish glimmer that lit her eyes and brought out the unique violet tint behind the dark blues dimmed. She dipped her head and leaned up against Jackson, her arms coming around his waist. “Maybe all this talk about fantasies was wrong. We shouldn’t be worryin’ about things like that, Jax. We have to work out this deal and then we’ll be goin’.”

  “We’ve been worryin’ too much about the deal. We should put it aside and enjoy ourselves here. Tonight and tomorrow are gonna be huge days in Colt’s competition. Landon’s havin’ everyone over tonight. Colt’s ahead of the race and we’ll be rootin’ him on. And Christmas is just over a week away.” Jackson gave her a squeeze and eased her back. He tipped her chin up and caught her eyes with a smile. “I
t’s a special time here. They have the tree lighting tonight that I want to take you to. Cassidy from the chocolate shop serves up some of her homemade hot chocolate while everyone sings in the park. Landon’s parents offer sleigh rides in the days leadin’ up to Christmas. This town transforms into somethin’ magical.”

  The pure enjoyment he got talking about the festivities surprised him, but Brianna’s reaction was completely unexpected. Her face fell, the light extinguishing from her eyes. Her lips parted, and a small crease formed along her forehead. Jackson reached over and traced the thick wave that caressed her cheek. He tucked it up under her knit hat.

  “What’s the matter, honey?”

  “I’m confused, Jax. I–I don’t understand why you are suddenly…” She tapped her hand against his arm. “Absorbed by Ryder. You’ve always told me there was nothin’ here for you. Jackson, everythin’ rides on this deal. You know how important it is that Colton agrees to handin’ off that plot of land for Gregory. How could you blow this off like it’s nothin’?”

  “Everythin’ Bree?” Jackson glanced down the drive to the stables, his short-lived excitement falling away. He clenched his teeth for a moment, trying to figure out if he understood her correctly. Her words stung, not because she couldn’t see his hometown for what it was. Hell, it took him a few years of city life to realize what he had walked away from here.

  Jackson soothed the upheaval in his mind and turned back to Brianna. “Everythin’ rides on a piece of land? Do I ride on it? Does what we have ride on a piece of paper and a signature? Is this deal more important to you that you’d just as quickly give up everythin’ you and I have built? For what? Shovin’ your success in your mother’s face? You know what’ll happen? She’ll cut your puppet strings and let you fall hard, and if you haven’t been doin’ all of this for yourself, Brianna, you’re gonna hit that ground and it’ll hurt like hell.”