“You should not say such things—it is unseemly,” Isabel said, forcing herself to temper her tone when what she wanted to do was grab her sister and shake her. To vent her jealousy and heartbreak on the poor girl who could have no idea what her happy, hopeful words did to Isabel’s heart.
Serena shook her head. “You are correct, of course. I apologize again.”
An awkward silence hung between them as Isabel tried to remember how to breathe. But it was broken when Serena whispered, “Does your upset also mean that you do not approve of him offering for me if he is interested?”
Isabel could no longer remain upright. She sank into the chair her sister had vacated.
It wasn’t that she believed Seth would offer for her sister. She didn’t think he had an interest in Serena and she couldn’t believe he would ever be so cold as to do so after what they had shared.
But her sister’s excitement over the prospect of being his bride…
It changed everything.
“Isabel? Do you disapprove my choice?” Serena whispered.
“Your choice. Does that mean you want him to offer for you?” Isabel asked, trying to keep her tone from trembling, her hands from shaking. “Truthfully?”
Serena nodded immediately. “Why not? He is everything I could wish for in a man, isn’t he? I well imagine that whoever he takes for a bride would be vastly content in her life.”
Isabel shut her eyes. She could well imagine the same, for she knew Seth as intimately as a woman could know a man. Not just in his body, but in his mind. She had seen his fears and his kindnesses. Felt both his passion and his heartbreak.
“Yes,” she murmured as she looked at her giddy sister once more. “I suppose that is true.”
Her sister grinned, clearly mistaking Isabel’s agreement as approval. “Oh, I shall be the envy of every other girl!” She laughed as she danced again, this time toward the door. “Lady Lyndham—how well that sounds.”
Isabel stared as her sister scurried from the room, leaving her alone.
She dared to look at her reflection for the first time since her sister’s intrusion. How different it was. Last night she had looked alive, happy, sensual…beautiful. Today all those things were gone. Her eyes were red with sudden and unshed tears and her face was pale and drawn.
All that was left was the realization of what she now had to do.
Seth walked along the garden paths, talking to Jason about estate management techniques, even as his mind drifted to thoughts of Isabel and the utter surrender he had coaxed from her the night before.
“This topic is such a bore,” Jason said, his tone put-upon and exhausted.
Seth laughed, grateful to have his attention back where it belonged.
“I do realize you hate this sort of thing, but at some point you will have to learn. Your tenants suffer as much as your pocketbook when you don’t.”
Jason shrugged, but didn’t seem convinced even when he sighed, “Yes, I suppose I do owe them better than my worst. If there is such a thing.”
Seth frowned and was about to answer when they turned a corner and he halted midbreath and midpathway. There, not ten feet from them, was Isabel. She sat on a bench, a book in hand, though she wasn’t reading. In fact, she was looking right at them.
“Lady Avenbury,” Jason said, approaching her after he tossed Seth a meaningful look. “What a wondrous thing to have stumbled upon you. Lord Lyndham was just boring me to tears with his lecture on proper land management for wayward lords. Will you save me from him?”
Isabel turned her attention toward Jason as she pushed to her feet to greet the men. She smiled effortlessly. “I’m certain you shall survive the onslaught, my lord. I’ve heard you are quick on your feet.”
Jason bellowed out a long laugh. “My reputation precedes me, I’m certain in more ways than one.”
Isabel’s laugh mixed with his easily. “Why do you think I keep my sister so far from you?”
“A spitfire,” Jason said with another glance toward Seth. “How enchanting.”
Seth glared at him, as jealous of his smooth friend as he was of the other men who dared pay Isabel attention. Unfair as it was, those were his feelings.
“Actually,” Isabel said with a quick look toward Seth. “Perhaps I can save you, after all, Lord Northfield. It is actually a lucky thing you gentlemen struck upon me. Lord Lyndham, I have a topic of great importance to broach with you. Do you think I might have a moment of your time?”
Jason shoved him forward. “Take him, take him. He can bore you for a while. Good day.”
With that, his friend strode away, leaving Seth alone with Isabel. He smiled as he motioned her back to her bench and joined her.
“And so we find ourselves in my garden again,” he said as he briefly stroked a finger along her hand. She was wearing gloves, but she shivered at his touch. “The last time we were here…well, the last time when we weren’t sneaking into my home, that is…we had an enlightening conversation. We promised to only be friends, although time has made liars of us both.”
Instead of smiling, as he thought she would, Isabel tugged her hand away. “I’m afraid our conversation today must be less enjoyable.”
“You mean you really do have something to discuss?” Seth asked. “I thought that was a ruse to be rid of Northfield.”
She shook her head and there was no mistaking the true upset on her face. She appeared drawn and exhausted. And sad, which was the worst of it all.
“Unfortunately, it is not,” she whispered. “In fact, I arranged to have you two stumble upon me in the garden so that I could ask for a moment of your time without causing talk from the household.”
“And how did you know my friend and I were walking?” he asked gently.
She sucked in a breath, but it sounded pained, as if she was trying to hold her emotions in check and only barely succeeding.
“The servants talk, my lord,” she said with a sigh. “Or so I am determining.”
Seth sat up straighter at that unexpected statement. “Please do not tell me that someone has spoken of our meetings! Only my most trusted man knows of that fact, and I would be very displeased if it turned out he was a traitor.”
“No.” She hastened to assure him. Her hand stirred like she wanted to cover his fingers with hers, but she pulled back. “No, it isn’t about our meetings.”
“Then what makes you so grave?” he asked as he pushed a lock of her auburn hair from her cheek.
She blushed at the contact. “It seems that you arranged for me to be seated by you at supper last night?”
He nodded. “I did, but I was very careful to ensure that a few other chaperones were also moved. No one could dare question that.”
“They didn’t, and that is now the problem.”
Briefly her hand came up and she covered her eyes. Seth watched her struggle, helpless since he knew neither what had upset her nor how to ease her grief.
“Tell me, Isabel, and I’ll do everything in my power to assist you. To fix this,” he whispered.
“There is no fixing this, I fear.” She lowered her hand. “My sister heard of your machinations and she…she has come to believe that perhaps you have an interest in her.”
Seth stared as what she said hit him in the gut like a physical blow.
“Great God…” he began, then he stared at Isabel’s pained face. “Isabel, you must know I would never consider your sister as a bride. Not after what we have shared here. I couldn’t be so cruel. I hope you don’t believe her notion.”
This time when Isabel’s fingers stirred, she allowed herself to cover his hand. The warmth of her closed over him, comforting even in the face of her obvious and increasing distress.
“I do know that. I never for a moment believed she was correct,” she whispered. “But—but the problem still exists.”
Seth nodded. “I assume you tried to gently dissuade her from the idea that I have intentions to court her.”
She shook h
er head with a quiet moan. “I was so shocked by what she said and she was so excited by the prospect of catching your eye, I had no good answer for her one way or another. I could only stare at her.”
He pushed to his feet with a quiet curse. “Then we’ll have to find some way to end her hopes kindly. There is no reason we can’t resolve this quickly. She cannot be bound too strongly to me. We have spoken all of twice, maybe. To be honest, I barely remember those conversations.”
“But it isn’t only Serena we must consider,” Isabel pressed. She kept her seat and looked up at him with those big, brown eyes he had so often lost himself in. “She heard of your seating arrangements from her servant, which means someone told the maid. And if one person knows what was done, surely they would have told others. There is no reason not to believe that the group as a whole believes as strongly as my sister that you have a greater interest in her than any of the other women.”
Seth shook his head. “And they can be dissuaded of that notion as easily as your sister shall be.”
Her face crumpled further. “Not if you and I continue to talk to each other, to meet together, to be seen together at this party. When we do, that belief will only grow.”
Seth flinched. She was utterly correct, but he could easily follow the track of her thoughts and they were leading him to a place he didn’t want to go.
“Isabel—” he began.
But she held up a hand without allowing him to speak, to coax, to convince and seduce.
“Seth, we both declared this was only a temporary affair at the start.” Her voice was garbled as if she were choking on the words and she stopped, took a deep breath and composed herself before she continued, “We agreed that if circumstances changed, if matters became complicated, we would end this. Well, circumstances have changed and become so very, very complicated.”
“No,” Seth said, unwilling to hear this without any kind of battle against it. “You cannot mean this. Not just because a servant loosed their foolish tongue over a seating arrangement!”
Isabel shook her head as she got to her feet and backed away. “It may be foolish, but disasters have been caused by foolish things many times throughout history.” She sucked in a breath. “I don’t wish to see my sister hurt when people believe you lost interest in her. And you would be hurt by this as well.”
“How?” he snapped, rising from the bench and inspiring her to take another step away.
“If those in attendance think you have a special interest in my sister, they will withdraw their daughters, stop the constant parade of potential mates before you. And if you then ‘broke’ with her, some of them might not wish to risk their own daughters experiencing the same humiliation.”
Seth struggled to find something, anything to deter her from the path she was on, but everything she said had merit. He had been in the world of the ton long enough to know her glimpse at the future was spot on.
“I don’t want this to end,” he whispered.
She turned her face. He could see from her tormented expression that he had hit upon her own very private thoughts. But it gave him no pleasure to know she felt the same as he. Not when she refused to surrender to it.
“But we must,” she finally said with steely strength in her tone. “Perhaps this was wrong to start with.”
He grabbed her hand before she could bolt and pulled her closer. “Don’t say that,” he said through clenched teeth. “Don’t ever say that.”
She shook her head. “You mistake my meaning. I was not saying I regret it. Wrong or not, I couldn’t bring myself to feel that. But it cannot continue. Not now, not under these new circumstances.”
“Isabel,” he whispered, startled by how shaky his tone had become.
She frowned and pulled away from him a fraction. “The whole party returns to London in just two days’ time. I shall arrange for our early departure on the day—I’m certain I can find some excuse. But until that time, I think it would be wise if we stay away from each other. And once we return to the city, it would likely be prudent to avoid contact there as well.”
“No.” His voice was so pained, Seth hardly recognized it.
“Yes.”
She shivered as she tried to tug her hand from his, but he wouldn’t allow it. The moment he let her go, she would be gone. First in spirit, then in body.
“You are an intelligent man—you know I am correct in everything I say. And you must also know how difficult this is for me,” she pleaded.
“Then give me one last night,” Seth said, pulling her even closer. “Meet with me one final time.”
She shook her head after a long and telling hesitation. “I-I can’t. Please don’t ask it of me.”
“Why?”
Her sigh came before her answer. “If we met now, we would not make love, but mate with some kind of desperation. I don’t want that to be my final memory of you. Of us. Let us hold last night in our hearts. It was precious and beautiful, and I don’t want to sully it with pain and despair.”
She pulled again on her hand, and this time he let her free. She stared at him for a charged moment and then whispered, “Goodbye.”
Turning, she began to move toward the safety of the house, but then she stopped. Seth froze too. In their intense exchange they hadn’t noticed the approach of another person, but now Seth’s mother stood at the turn in the path where Seth had first seen Isabel. And she was staring at them both in what could only be described as utter shock.
Isabel straightened her shoulders and nodded. “Good afternoon, my lady,” she said with not so much as a quaver to her voice. Then she marched past his mother and disappeared on the path.
Despite his heartache, Seth was filled with pride, for he knew she had to be humiliated by the intrusion. Yet she hadn’t bent her head as she might have done a week before. She hadn’t apologized for or explained her actions.
But now he would be forced to do so. He could see that in his mother’s hesitation as she walked toward him.
“Seth,” his mother said. “Wh-what is going on?”
He shook his head. “Nothing, Mother.”
She moved forward a long step. “My eyesight may be failing with age, but I am not yet blind, son. Anyone who wasn’t daft could see there was something very intense and inappropriate transpiring between you and Lady Avenbury.”
He stared at her, his frustration at a peak that didn’t allow him to temper his tone. “We were having a discussion. What is so inappropriate about that?”
“You had her hands in yours—you were practically in each other’s arms.” His mother shook her head. “I could see you had an interest in her from the start, and I chose to ignore it and hope it would take its course and be done with. But you must know you could never pursue such a thing.”
Seth clenched his fists at his sides. “I do not wish to speak about this.”
His mother moved closer, and her eyes were almost wild with worry. “But we must. Tell me now, is there something between you and Lady Avenbury?”
He looked toward the place where he had last seen Isabel. In his mind, he could so clearly picture the moments they had shared. Not just in his bed, but any time they were near.
Did seeing her all those years ago when she was a girl and always being drawn to her constitute “something”? Did feeling such a thrill when she walked through his door? Did aching for her day and night count? Did dreaming of her? Did the fact that his chest ached now that he would never touch her again?
“It doesn’t matter,” he said softly as he walked away from his mother and her never-ending questions. He couldn’t answer them at present; it was too painful. “It is over now. You needn’t worry yourself about it anymore.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“A great deal can happen in a carriage.”—The Ladies Book of Pleasures
Although Isabel had never liked rain, she had welcomed it over the past two days. The bad weather ended plans for a final ball at the Lyndham estate and many of the guests had
quietly retired to their chambers reading or playing cards. Isabel had feigned a headache the first night, which had resulted in a note from Seth’s mother that read:
I’m sure you will feel better once you are home.
My best,
Lady Lyndham
Isabel had read it a dozen times before she burned it, for the message was more than clear. Seth’s mother had seen them together, and the woman was no fool. She must have guessed at their feelings and was now gently discouraging her from pursuit.
Now Isabel sat in Grace’s carriage while their bags and servants all went in her smaller vehicle. She stared across at her sister and her best friend as they rambled along the damp and muddy countryside on their way back to London.
Serena frowned as the estate disappeared in the morning fog out the window. She dropped the curtain with a sigh. “Did you both notice that in the last two days Lord Lyndham seemed to avoid all in the party, but most especially me?”
Grace gave Isabel a quick glance before she turned toward Serena. Isabel stared out the window without answering. She couldn’t talk about him, certainly not with her sister.
“He didn’t even rise to see our carriage off. It was only his mother who came, and she seemed pleased to have the guests beginning to depart.” Serena pouted prettily. “Although, we left so early, who can blame him for staying abed?”
Isabel kept staring at the rolling wet hills outside her window. She couldn’t help but wonder at Seth’s feelings, though she was relieved he hadn’t made the show of seeing them off. It would have been impossible to feign disinterest as they said their final goodbye.
Grace filled the silence. “I’m afraid our early departure is my fault, my dear. I had some business to attend to in London and I feared we wouldn’t reach the city by tomorrow if we didn’t leave early. Not with this weather.”
Serena immediately touched Grace’s hand. “Oh, I hope you didn’t think I was criticizing, Your Grace. I suppose I am only dissatisfied by how things ended and I’m just talking. Were you not disappointed, Isabel?”
Isabel turned toward the pair at last. She could only hope her feelings wouldn’t be clear from her tone or expression. “I suppose it was rather a letdown to have the visit end with such a quiet little moan, especially after everything that has happened since our arrival. But these things happen sometimes. All we can do is move on from it.”
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