Serena was blessedly quiet for only a moment.
“Sarah suggested that perhaps Lord Lyndham was only playing hard to get with me. That was why he danced with me, asked after me to my chaperone, but then distanced himself. She thinks he might still approach me in London after some absence makes his heart grow fonder.”
Isabel shut her eyes. Her head was beginning to throb in time to the rattling of the carriage and the tears she refused to shed since her parting with Seth in the garden were closer and closer to the edge of falling.
“You know, Serena,” Grace said softly. “I did not wish to mention this, but now I feel it would be a kindness. I have it under good authority that Lord Lyndham has an interest in another lady. Perhaps his feelings for her were simply stronger and he was distancing himself from you as a way to keep you from pain.”
Serena stared at their friend, then her mouth dropped open in outrage. “What? Another lady? Who?”
Grace’s expression never revealed any hesitation in her lie, even when she said, “I do not know for certain. Perhaps she was not amongst the debutantes.”
Isabel looked at Grace evenly, her heart swelling with gratitude. Everyone knew that the duchess had inside information on everything and everyone in Society. By telling Serena that Seth liked another, her sister would surely believe it. And that would, eventually, end the subject.
“That cad,” her sister fumed. “And after he pursued me so strenuously.”
Isabel stared in wonder. How Serena could build up such a thing in her head from one dance and a dinner conversation that hadn’t even included her sister was beyond her.
But Grace nodded solemnly as if Serena’s outburst made perfect sense. “Indeed. Don’t you think it is best that you didn’t tie your hopes and yourself to such a man?”
Serena hesitated and then she nodded. “Yes. That is true. In fact, I think we should never again speak of or to the ‘gentleman’.”
Once again, Grace cast her gaze toward Isabel. “I think that might be best, yes.”
“There are many other men anyway,” Serena insisted with a shrug that said how little she cared one way or another for Seth.
Isabel rubbed her temples. How she wished she could be so flippant as her sister. When she thought of Seth the pain in her heart hadn’t faded. In fact, as they had avoided each other in the past two days, the hurt had actually grown. She did not sleep for fear of her dreams. She couldn’t eat. Memories assailed her at every corner of the estate as she recalled little moments she and Seth had shared during their brief time together.
Serena yawned. “I think I may try to sleep during our ride home, if you two wouldn’t find that too rude.”
Isabel nodded. “Of course not. I’ll wake you when we stop along the road.”
Grace waited until Serena had shut her eyes and her breathing had become slow and even before she crossed the carriage to take the seat beside Isabel.
Without a word, Isabel settled her head into her friend’s shoulder and sighed as Grace put her arm around her. For a long time, they sat like that. Grace’s quiet comfort helped somewhat, though it seemed nothing could completely take away the pain in her heart.
“Are you well?” Grace whispered.
Isabel wanted to lie and say yes. To pretend away her heartbreak, but it wasn’t possible. Not with Grace.
“No,” she admitted softly as she glanced at Serena to be sure she wasn’t feigning slumber. But her sister was obviously deep in the sleep of the utterly unworried. Lucky girl.
Grace’s embrace tightened around her shoulders. “I didn’t want to be right, you know.”
“Right?” Isabel sighed.
“That you would love him.”
Isabel stared straight ahead. There was no denying it. Grace was absolutely correct. She was in love with Seth. Deeply, desperately, powerfully and completely. She couldn’t deny it even to herself any longer.
“It is an unfair turn of events, I agree,” she whispered without looking at her friend to see the pity she knew was in her eyes. “But I think my sister’s way of handling these little disappointments is best. We shall pretend it didn’t happen. We shall act as though we never met Seth—” She corrected herself. “Lord Lyndham.”
Grace was silent for a moment.
“Very well,” she finally said, though there was no mistaking the troubled quality to her tone. “If that is what you wish to do, I’ll help you every way I can. Though I warn you, he will probably be at some of the events we are invited to in London. There may be no avoiding him entirely.”
Isabel nodded as she continued to stare at nothing. Of course he would be active in Society this year. He was driven to marry. He would be everywhere.
“Although I have hope I won’t be forced to face him, I expect it will happen sooner rather than later. Perhaps that is for the best, after all. If I must see him regularly, in time my feelings will fade. I’ll be able to look at him without wishing…well, without wishing. I’ll be as content about the loss as Serena seems to be.”
Grace glanced at Serena, who was now lightly snoring. “Can you do that?”
“I must.” Isabel looked out the window “After all, it is my only choice.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“If one is going to indulge in an affair in public, one must be aware of her surroundings…or risk scandal.”—The Ladies Book of Pleasures
A week had gone by since Isabel’s departure from his home before Seth encountered her again. The moment he saw her was as terrible as he had expected it would be.
Standing with Jason at the first party he had bothered to dress himself for and attend in London, he looked across the crowded ballroom, and there she was. She stood at the punch table with the Duchess of Jameswood and another of the women’s good friends, Jacinda Downing. Isabel wasn’t looking at him, though. Nor had she seemed to notice his attendance at all as she smiled at her friends while they talked.
He openly stared, unable to mask his reaction when she was so delectably close to him. She was wearing a dark blue gown with some kind of white lace decorating it at the sweet place where her breasts were lifted together. It reminded him of a gown she had once worn when they made love.
He groaned.
“You look like hell,” Jason said, clapping him on the back a little too hard.
Seth sent a glare toward his friend and then returned his attention to Isabel. “Thank you,” he ground out with effort.
Jason followed the line of his vision and sighed. “Well, we have avoided talking about this subject for a long while, but there is no more of it. How far did things go with Lady Avenbury during your country party?”
Seth turned on his friend, looking around them to ensure no one had heard Jason’s imprudent question. “Watch yourself. You could ruin her with such a query.”
His friend’s brow arched. “I made certain we aren’t within earshot of anyone before I asked the question, but the depth of your concern certainly tells me something about the answer to my question.”
Seth scowled. He had sworn to Isabel he wouldn’t tell anyone about their affair, so no matter how much he desired the counsel of a friend, he wouldn’t betray his promise to her.
“I don’t wish to discuss her.”
Jason was quiet for a moment. “That far, eh?”
Seth looked down at his feet. “Too far, probably.”
“I see.”
To his surprise, Jason’s tone held no teasing or judgment. Seth glanced in the direction of Isabel again, but found that though her two friends remained, she was gone.
“I don’t want to upset her. Perhaps I should depart before she notices my attendance,” he said, more to himself than to his friend.
Jason laughed. “She noticed you the moment you walked in the door.”
Seth stared at his friend. “She did?”
“Indeed. I watched her track you for at least a full minute before she pretended she didn’t see you or didn’t care.” He shrugged. “And e
ven if I hadn’t, I know her friend Miss Downing well enough to recognize when she is uncomfortable.”
Seth couldn’t help the swell of pleasure that rose up in him at the thought that Isabel was as aware of him as he was of her. Although the reaction was folly, somehow he didn’t want her to be able to so easily forget what they had shared.
“You know,” Jason said slowly. “I’ve heard Sir Gregory is completely taken by her. He waxed poetic when I bumped into him during my ride in Hyde Park yesterday afternoon. I believe he will be arriving at this party any moment to continue his courtship of the lady.”
Seth fisted his hands at his sides. “Sir Gregory, the old fool. He doesn’t deserve to look at her, let alone make her his.”
“Why?” Jason asked. “He’s a friendly enough fellow of good fortune and humor.”
Seth shrugged. “Grand things all, I’m sure.”
To his surprise, Jason turned on him with more heat than he had ever seen his friend possess. “You judge that, yet aren’t you obsessed with your precious heirs? Isn’t that why you don’t pursue Isabel yourself?”
Seth stared. “What the hell is that remark about?”
“I’m not blind, nor am I stupid,” Jason whispered as another group of gentlemen briefly passed by. When they were gone, he continued, “It was as obvious to me as my own name that you connected emotionally and probably physically with Lady Avenbury at your home.”
“Be cautious, Northfield,” Seth growled.
“Were you cautious? It’s just as clear that you care for the woman. Perhaps you even love her, if I can still properly read the signs of such an affliction. But you don’t love her enough to throw away your damned thoughts on duty and heirs and whatever other shit you’ve used to distance yourself from her.” Jason gritted his teeth. “You deserve her less than Sir Gregory does, with all his silliness and simpering.”
Seth stared at his friend. Jason had always been so frivolous—he had never expected such a speech from him. In fact, he hadn’t even realized his friend was so observant of what went on around him. It impressed Seth as much as irritated him.
“What the hell do you know about it?” he snapped, still confused and uncomfortable at his friend’s unexpected outburst.
“Perhaps more than you know,” Jason said softly, and for once his expression reflected real emotion. What else had his friend had been hiding all these years they had been as close as brothers? “And I will offer you a bit of advice if you aren’t too bullheaded to hear it.”
Seth was about to shake his head when Jason continued without waiting.
“Leave her be.” Jason emphasized each word carefully. “If you have no interest in being anything to her but a coward stuck on inheritance and bloodlines and titles, then leave her alone and let her marry a man who won’t see her as a liability to his future.”
“I don’t see her as a liability,” Seth said, thinking of what Isabel had confessed about being broken.
“Then marry her, if you love her,” Jason said as he folded his arms in a stance that could be seen as nothing but challenging.
Seth hesitated, then shook his head for he could think of no retort. “You are talking out your arse,” he said before he turned and stalked away.
Only as he stormed his way through the ballroom and out onto the terrace for some air, Jason’s words hit home more than he wanted to admit. He was a coward. He was allowing that fact to keep him from Isabel. And he had no choice in that matter, or so he had convinced himself.
He made his way past the small groups of partygoers who were gathered near the veranda doors and around the curving edge of the structure until he was in fuller darkness and away from prying eyes who would surely see his disappointment.
But as he strolled his way around yet another curve in the terrace, he came to a stop. There, standing at the edge of the parapet, looking up at the stars above, was Isabel. And she was alone.
Jason’s advice to leave her that way rang in his head, but Seth found himself moving toward her regardless of how right he knew his friend’s words to be. He was drawn to her in ways he couldn’t explain, and the intensity of his desire outweighed the reasons he had to stay away, at least in this moment.
“Isabel,” he said softly.
Her entire body tensed and she slowly turned to look at him. Her expression remained serene, but he noticed that her bottom lip trembled and she blinked a few times too many before she spoke.
“Lord Lyndham,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “Good evening.”
She was trying to distance herself with her overly polite tone and words, but there was no denying the heat that still sparked between them. Seth felt it drawing him closer, making him want her.
“How have you been?” he asked.
“Tolerable,” she said as she turned her face away. There was a hesitation and then she added, “You look tired.”
They were three simple words but his heart soared with them. By noticing his state, that meant she still gave a damn about him. That he wasn’t misreading her continued interest.
He moved toward her until he was too close for propriety, but not close enough for pleasure. With a gasp, she looked at him from the corner of her eye.
“Perhaps that is because I no longer sleep,” he said softly.
She stared out into the darkness again. “I’ve heard warm milk or brandy helps with that problem.”
“They won’t help me. There is only one thing I require to make my bed comfortable.”
He shook his head as he reached out a finger and gently brushed it along her exposed arm. She sucked in her breath softly.
Turning toward him, she whispered, “Please, please don’t—”
She cut herself off, and Seth cupped a hand beneath her chin. “Don’t what? Want you? Impossible.”
Tears sparkled in her eyes, but she didn’t draw away as he slowly lowered his mouth toward her. He gave her ample opportunity to do so, but in the end his lips touched hers. Instantly the heat between them exploded into a full-bore fire.
He clutched her closer, reveling in how her soft body molded to his and her fisted hands finally relaxed to curl around his arms and tug him even closer.
Somehow he turned them, backing her away from the exposure of the terrace wall and into the darkness against the corner of the house. He pressed her against the cool stone as he pillaged her lips.
But even in the heat of his ardor, she didn’t pull away. She arched against him hungrily, her little mewls and groans of pleasure blinding him to reason and right versus wrong. Everything was washed away but her and the fact that he had to have her, to feel her wrapped around him.
He lifted her slightly, pressing a thigh between her legs. Her skirts tangled with his legs, but he ignored that as he cupped one breast and let his lips move to her throat.
Isabel let out a soft cry, which only drove him on. He deepened the kiss, losing himself in her, forgetting everything around them.
Until a sound broke through his ardor. It was a gasp that had Isabel pushing him away. He looked down at her and was surprised to find her eyes wide and her face pale.
“Isabel?” he whispered.
She tugged on his jacket and pointed behind him. He turned and froze in horror. The gasp hadn’t come from Isabel. Serena stood in the dim lights of the lamps around the edge of the terrace, staring at the couple with wide eyes.
“Oh,” she whispered, “I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude…” Then Serena leaned forward and her mouth dropped open. “I-Isabel?”
Isabel squeezed her eyes shut and made a deep sound of pain that was like a stab to Seth’s heart.
“Serena,” she whispered.
She tried to shove past him, but her knees buckled. He caught her elbow and steadied her, for it was all he could do now to help her. In a moment, she seemed to gather herself and shook him away to move forward.
The hurt and confusion was more than clear in Serena’s bright eyes and she just kept staring
back and forth between Seth and Isabel.
“What is going on?” she finally whispered.
Isabel swallowed hard. She wouldn’t look at Seth as she whispered, “A-a mistake, dearest. Something that never should have happened.”
Seth stepped back. Her words hit him in the gut.
Serena looked past her at Seth, and understanding dawned on her face. “This—this is why he arranged for you to be beside him at supper back in the countryside, isn’t it? He wanted you, not me.”
Seth raised a hand, desperate to help. “Serena—”
Serena’s voice cracked as she interrupted him like he wasn’t even there. “And you let me go on and on about him like a stupid, little fool.”
“I didn’t want—” Isabel began.
Serena bit back a gasp of pain. “Did you two have a good laugh at my expense?”
Isabel’s mouth dropped open. “No, of course not.”
Isabel rushed toward her sister, but Serena shrank back to avoid any contact between them. It was clearly a shock to Isabel, for she skidded to a halt in surprise at her sister’s strong reaction.
A breath passed between them and Seth could only watch helplessly.
“We never intended—” he began, hoping he could say or do anything to fix this.
Serena shook her head to cut him off. “I don’t want to know. I wish I didn’t know.”
With that, Serena turned and rushed away toward the house. Seth watched Isabel. Her face crumpled, crushed and broken. Worse, Seth knew he had caused this. He should have listened to Jason.
He should have left her alone.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“So often we are told to do our duty, to think of others. But duty without pleasure, without hope, is not a recipe for happiness.”—The Ladies Book of Pleasures
Isabel stood in stunned silence for a moment after her sister bolted away. How had it come to this? She had done everything in her power to protect Serena over the years. She had sacrificed and hoped for her. But now her sister was hurt and confused…and all because of Isabel’s lack of self-control.
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