The Best Man

by Dianne Blacklock

  ‘There,’ he said finally, his hands briefly resting on her bare shoulders. ‘Turn around.’

  She did, slowly, as he stepped back to take in the full effect. The expression on his face brought tears to her eyes. At least she had got to see that.

  ‘You look . . . very beautiful, Madeleine.’

  ‘Thank you,’ she managed to say.

  ‘But this isn’t right, is it?’

  Her heart plummeted. Of course it wasn’t right. It was a charade, she was playing dress-ups, kidding herself.

  ‘I’m not supposed to see you in your dress,’ Henry added.

  What? ‘Well . . . it hardly matters any more.’

  He frowned a little. ‘Why not?’

  ‘Um, because . . . there’s not going to be a wedding.’

  ‘You don’t want to go through with it?’ he asked, his frown deepening.

  She blinked. ‘You do?’

  ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I don’t think you get to . . . to do what you did, and dump me as well. That doesn’t seem fair.’

  ‘Henry, I would never dump you,’ she exclaimed. ‘But after everything, after what I did . . .’ She started to shake her head. ‘You can’t still want to marry me.’

  He released a heavy sigh. ‘I thought maybe I didn’t, or rather, that I couldn’t.’ He sat down on the end of the bed, leaning his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together. ‘You see, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to look at you without imagining you with Aiden.’

  Madeleine winced.

  ‘But then I realised that would mean never being able to look at you,’ he went on, ‘never seeing you again, and that’s something I can’t even conceive.’

  ‘Henry . . .’ Madeleine dropped to her knees on the floor in front of where he sat, her dress falling in a swirl around her.

  ‘I should have been more wary of Aiden,’ he said. ‘I assumed he’d have grown out of it by now, after all this time. But I should have warned you about him, at least given you some background.’

  ‘Henry, none of this is your fault.’

  ‘That’s not entirely true,’ he said. ‘You were having doubts, feeling neglected –’

  ‘That’s no excuse for –’

  ‘No it isn’t,’ he said firmly. ‘But then again, you don’t sleep with someone else if everything’s okay in a relationship.’

  Aiden had said something like that. But Madeleine wasn’t going to let Henry take any of the responsibility for this. ‘No,’ she said. ‘You stupidly sleep with someone when you’re too drunk to think straight. I’ve got no one to blame but myself. Not even Aiden.’

  Henry met her gaze directly. ‘But I don’t believe you would have slept with someone else if Aiden wasn’t there. Do you?’

  ‘I don’t know . . . I don’t want to believe that, but I’ve done it before.’

  ‘Madeleine, you brought that up last night. I don’t know why. We weren’t officially in a relationship back then, we weren’t even living in the same country. I told you at the time to put it behind you. I did . . . I have.’

  ‘That’s very gracious, Henry, but how many times can I expect that of you?’ said Madeleine. ‘I don’t want to hurt you again, I couldn’t bear it.’

  ‘I’m glad you feel that way.’

  ‘I can’t put you through it any more. Look what it did to your mother.’

  ‘What?’ he said. ‘It’s not the same. My mother stayed with a man her whole life, a man who habitually abused her and eventually destroyed her.’

  ‘And I don’t want to destroy you.’

  ‘You’re not like my father, Madeleine.’

  ‘Maybe I am.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Truth is, I think I might be an alcoholic, Henry, and I have to do something about it. I’m going to do something about it.’

  ‘Okay,’ he said squarely. ‘And I’ll be right there beside you.’

  ‘I have to fix myself,’ she said. ‘It’s not your job to fix me.’

  ‘But it is my job to stand by you while you do . . . Till death do us part.’

  She was stunned, literally stunned. He was such a good man. He was too good for her. ‘I don’t deserve you.’

  ‘Madeleine, you have to stop talking like that,’ he said, getting to his feet. ‘I don’t want to hear it any more.’ He turned away to pace the floor, dragging a hand through his hair. ‘You’re always claiming that I saved you, but don’t you know you saved me too?’ He turned to look at her again. ‘God, if anything, I’m more like my father, shutting myself off from people, from the world. I would have been alone, maybe for the rest of my life, if it wasn’t for you.’ He paused. ‘I’ll never forget what you said at the airport that time . . . you were worried you didn’t come across well, that you grated on me. You had no idea . . .’ He shook his head. ‘Maybe I haven’t loved you enough, or reassured you enough, that you are the best thing that ever happened to me.’

  Madeleine’s eyes filled with tears.

  ‘Come here,’ he said gently, reaching down to take her hands and helping her up to stand. ‘Do you know why it’s been so hard for me to write those vows?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Because I’ve never felt the way I do about you, about anyone in my life before, and I honestly don’t know how to describe it. I write children’s books, full of simple ideas, but the way I feel about you, what you mean to me . . . that can’t be contained in a few phrases. I just don’t think words can do it justice.’

  Madeleine’s heart was so full she thought she might burst out of the dress.

  ‘So I guess we’ll have the traditional vows then,’ she said in a small, tentative voice.

  His face relaxed into a smile as he drew her into his arms. ‘I think that’s a very good idea.’

  ‘And you know, I’m going to call that place and change the order to fruitcake.’

  ‘I like fruitcake.’

  ‘I know you do.’

  He pressed his forehead against hers. ‘Only one thing,’ he said. ‘I don’t have a best man.’

  ‘Oh, but I do,’ said Madeleine.

  The next day

  Voicemail left at 3.30 pm.

  ‘Hi, David, it’s Liv. Um, look, I know this is kind of late notice, with your rosters and all, I don’t know how easy it is for you to change shifts. But anyway, I was wondering if you would like to come to a wedding with me? Next Saturday? The bride, she’s probably my closest friend, and, well, for a moment there, it was on shaky ground – there’s a whole story, but anyway, it doesn’t matter now, everything’s back on, and I think it’s going to be a really wonderful day. I’m not asking you because I need a plus one or anything, but, well, I’d really love you to meet them . . . I’d love them to meet you . . .

  ‘So anyway, think about it. Call me. Best finish before the –’

  Beep.

  Acknowledgements

  It’s been a long time between drinks. Actually, not that long at all between drinks, but too long between books. However, life gets in the way sometimes, and unfortunately writing is an occupation without sick leave or special leave for moving house. When you come back to your desk, no one has filled in for you and kept everything up to date, so that you can step back in as though you had never been away.

  I have many people to thank for helping me get back on track. I was going to give up, I really was, I thought the well had finally dried up. Then I had the spark of an idea, characters bounced into life and a vague journey came to mind. But I had no time to wait and see where it would go. I had to be efficient. I had to plan! Fortunately for me, Pat Naoum and Olivia A. Fay came to my rescue. I supplied soup and red wine, and we sat around a table until the wee small hours, plotting out the story on big sheets of paper with thick felt markers and sticky notes. Their enthusiasm energised me, and I don’t know if I would have completed that first draft without them.

  Thanks to my publisher, Cate Paterson, whose insight never fails to inspire me. She took that first draft, and along with my ti
reless and very patient editor, Jo Lyons, gave me wonderful direction and the space and support to make it bigger and better. Thanks also to Clara Finlay for a scrupulous copy-edit. Sometimes it takes a village to write a novel, and I’m so grateful to you all.

  And now I must add a disclaimer: Characters in this book who happen to be publicists in a publishing house are fictitious and any resemblance to anyone from the Pan Macmillan publicity department is entirely coincidental – except for the exceptionally lovely characters! Which reminds me, congratulations to Tracey Cheetham – Her Eminence, Grand Duchess of Publicity and Marketing – on her well-deserved promotion.

  Thanks always to my immediate family, Pat, Dane, Joel and Anna, for their love and support and for bringing the joy, but special thanks has to go to Zac, who had to shoulder more than his fair share of my angst. That’s what you get for being the youngest and the last to leave home.

  Thanks to fellow authors Liane Moriarty and Ber Carroll, and Tony Park, for the laughs and the drinks and the camaraderie. Heartfelt thanks to all of my extended family and cherished friends – there are too many of you to list here, but I can never not mention Diane Stubbings, because my debt to her is perpetual. And because I’ve never mentioned them before, I want to thank Zoey Berinati and Nikola Stubbs for being the best listeners in the ’burgh, and for managing to make me laugh when I didn’t have a lot to laugh about.

  In loving memory of Anne Murphy

  About Dianne Blacklock

  Dianne Blacklock has variously been a teacher, trainer and counsellor while raising four sons and eventually getting enough words down on paper to call herself an author. She recently completed a reverse tree-change, moving from the beautiful Illawarra to Sydney’s inner west in a quest to discover her inner hipster. She knows it’s in there somewhere. The Best Man is her ninth novel.

  www.dianneblacklock.com

  Also by Dianne Blacklock

  Call Waiting

  Wife for Hire

  Almost Perfect

  False Advertising

  Crossing Paths

  Three’s a Crowd

  The Right Time

  The Secret Ingredient

  ALSO BY DIANNE BLACKLOCK IN PAN MACMILLAN

  The Secret Ingredient

  Taste was such an evocative sense . . .

  Since marrying Ross, Andie’s allowed her love of food to take a back seat and given up her dream of becoming a chef. But then her marriage falls apart.

  After the shock subsides, Andie is determined to rediscover her passion and take back control of her life.

  The first step is taking a job in the kitchen of renowned chef Dominic Gerou. The brooding Englishman is a handful, but the new Andie is ready for anything, even a bad-tempered chef who makes it clear he won’t tolerate mistakes.

  Dianne Blacklock takes us on a sumptuous journey of the heart as Andie uncovers the secret ingredient for her new life, and shows that no matter how many false starts you may have, if you hold on to your dreams, anything is possible.

  The Right Time

  The Beckett sisters – Ellen, Emma, Elizabeth and Evie – all need to shake things up.

  Emma has been planning her dream wedding ever since she was a little girl, so as soon as her boyfriend Blake finally proposes, she presumes that it can only be smooth sailing from then on.

  Liz is a well-respected and successful doctor and she expects her affair with a married colleague to turn into something more serious as soon as her partner can leave his wife. But that does seem to be taking a long time . . .

  Evie and Craig are married with three children, but have lost their way. When Craig suggests a way to spice up their relationship, Evie is horrified. Must she go through with Craig’s plans in order to save her marriage?

  And Ellen, the eldest sister and the anchor of the family, is dealing with a marriage breakdown and getting back into the dating game. But she wonders if she’ll ever be able to let go and open her heart to love again.

  There’s never a perfect time for life-changing decisions – just the right time.

  Three’s a Crowd

  Well, we’re different, we lead such different lives. I’m not sure how we’ll go now without Annie. She was like Carrie, you know, in Sex and the City. Annie was our Carrie.

  Without Annie, friends Catherine, Lexie and Rachel are lost. What will things be like now? How will they fill the void? Will their friendship survive?

  These questions are soon overshadowed by the complexities of their own lives. Catherine is excelling in her high flying career but struggling in her relationships, especially with her fractious teenage daughter. Lexie is juggling the demands of her young family and the ego of her hardworking husband, while taking the first steps to achieving her own dreams.

  And Rachel, free spirited, floating Rachel, is experiencing the heady euphoria of a new relationship. But when the truth finally comes out about who she has fallen in love with, fragile friendships will be put to the test all over again . . .

  Crossing Paths

  Jo had learned the hard way that life was not mystical, or magical; it was hard and grey and cold most of the time. Much better to see it for what it is than to be perennially disappointed.

  With a hefty new mortgage, a frustrating career as a newspaper columnist and a flailing relationship with a married co-worker, Jo Liddell is resigned to living a less-than-perfect life.

  That is, until she crosses paths with Joe Bannister – a celebrated foreign correspondent returning home to care for his dying father. Against all her natural instincts, Jo finds herself falling for Joe, and with his help begins to realise that she might deserve to be happy after all.

  But when she decides to take the plunge and give love a chance, the results are catastrophic. And so Jo must fight hard for everything she never believed in – success, self-acceptance, and above all, real love.

  False Advertising

  Helen always tries to be a good person. She recycles, obeys the water restrictions, she is even polite to telemarketers. As a wife, mother, daughter and nurse, Helen is used to putting everyone’s needs before her own. But it only takes one momentary lapse of concentration to shatter her life forever.

  There was no such momentary lapse for Gemma. Her customary recklessness leaves her pregnant, alone and estranged from her family, with her once-promising advertising career in tatters.

  So when Gemma barges unceremoniously into Helen’s life, things will never be the same again for either of them. Two very different women who have one thing in common –their lives have fallen short of their expectations. But is fate offering them a second chance?

  Almost Perfect

  Georgie Reading runs a successful bookshop – with a name like that, she was born to. A fun-loving friend, loyal sister and adored aunty, life’s pretty good for Georgie. Except her love life, that is. Nothing seems to go right and she’s ready to give up.

  On the other side of town, Anna and Mac appear to have the perfect marriage. But with every failed attempt at IVF their relationship suffers further and Mac doesn’t know how much longer he can cope with Anna’s pain and disappointment.

  So when a stranger walks into Georgie’s bookshop and they strike up a friendship, events are set in motion that no-one could imagine. What is the connection between the stranger, Anna and Mac? And what will the consequences be for everyone involved if Georgie allows herself to fall in love with him?

  Wife for Hire

  Sam knew she was a model wife, a prize wife, the kind of wife men secretly wished they had. But now Jeff wanted to leave her for someone else.

  All Samantha Driscoll once wanted out of life was to be somebody’s wife. She would marry a man called Tod or Brad and she would have two blond children, one boy, one girl.

  But instead she married a Jeff, had three children, and he’s just confessed to having an affair.

  Sam’s life purpose crumbles before her eyes, with the words of her mother playing in a continuous loop in her head, ‘You�
�ve got no one to blame but yourself, Samantha.’

  Spurred on by an eclectic bunch of girlfriends and her nutty sister Max, she finds the job she was born for: Wife for Hire. Sam handles the domestic affairs, and acts as personal shopper and social coordinator for many satisfied customers.

  But when attractive American businessman, Hal Buchanan is added to her client list, Sam soon realises she can organise many things in life, but not her emotions.

  Call Waiting

  Ally Tasker is trapped in a dead end teaching job and a relationship that’s going nowhere. Her dreams of a fulfilling life after art college didn’t include cleaning up after bored school children and being a doormat for her yuppie boyfriend. What she really wants is to be more like her friend Meg – at least she has turned her art training into a lucrative job in computer design, not to mention having a doting husband and a gorgeous baby son to complete the package.

  But when Ally’s grandfather and sole relative dies, she returns to the Southern Highland home of her childhood where she must confront painful issues from her past that her safe life in the city has allowed her to ignore. Meanwhile Meg is not as happy as Ally imagines. Dissatisfied with the pretty picture her world projects, a restless Meg longs to inject more passion and spontaneity into her life – but at what cost to her family’s happiness?

  Sometimes you have to risk all you have to realise what is worth saving.