Counting the Kisses (Counting the Billions, #3)

by Lexy Timms

  It was Matt who answered the door. I could see the look of surprise on his face, and I didn’t miss the way he raised an eyebrow at me. But he nodded warmly at me and stood back to let me inside. “I’ll go get Abby,” he said, slipping away toward the kitchen. I didn’t try to follow him. Instead, I waited in the front hall, rocking back and forth on my heels.

  When Abby came out into the hall, I expected her to look just as surprised. Or maybe furious at the way I had just shown up here. But instead, she looked resigned. “Daniel,” she said curtly.

  I grimaced, already hating the emotions I could see in her face. She was closed off, impassive. Like she didn’t care about me at all, and in fact like she had never cared about me at all. I stared at her for a long moment, but her expression didn’t change, and she didn’t say anything. Finally, I sighed. “Sorry, I think I made a mistake in coming here,” I told her. “I should have just texted. But I just wanted to know what you planned on doing about tomorrow. If you still planned on showing up at work.”

  Abby gave me a considering look, but she still looked somehow detached from all of this, like she didn’t really care at all. She gave me a nod at last. “Yeah, I’ll be there,” she said. “I guess we need to talk, though. About how we’re going to handle all of this.”

  “I’m sorry,” I blurted in response. “I’m sorry for how I acted. I didn’t mean to push you away, and I definitely didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I know you did the best that you could as interim CEO, and actually you did an amazing job. In spite of the fact that you’ve only been with the company for a short time, and in spite of the fact that I gave you barely any time to consider it and barely any time to prepare for it. I’m so proud of what you accomplished, I can’t even tell you. And I didn’t tell you that before. And I’m sorry.”

  The words all sounded so lame as they spilled from my mouth, but was it just my imagination or was Abby warming up to my being there? Her expression was no longer quite as frosty, and she was clearly paying attention to every word I said, rather than glancing back over her shoulder toward the kitchen like she had been doing. It no longer looked quite so much like she wanted to bolt.

  “I was overwhelmed,” I continued. “And that’s absolutely no excuse for my inability to control my emotions. I do know that I never should have yelled at you like that or said any of the things I did. Like I told you, I probably would have done exactly the same thing if our positions had been reversed. If I had been the one dealing with Duncan.” I shook my head. “I never should have yelled at you,” I repeated, feeling even more ridiculous as I repeated myself.

  Abby frowned at me, but finally she nodded. “It’s all right,” she said slowly.

  I shook my head again, though. “No, it isn’t,” I told her. “It’s not all right at all.”

  Abby stared at me for a moment and then let out a short, bitter laugh. “Daniel, I wanted to have this conversation. I wanted to hear your side of the story. But let’s be realistic here. There are a dozen ways I messed up.”

  “You told me that you didn’t want to be in the public eye, and I put you there front and center,” I interrupted, ticking off my own mistakes on my fingertips. “Hell, I got served for assault charges in the first place. And I gave you no warning on taking over for me. And I left you a fucking mountain of paperwork in the office as if that would help you with anything, rather than just stressing you out. And I—”

  Abby held up both hands, her lips twitching with what I was sure was amusement. “All right, all right,” she said. “So we agree that we were both wrong?”

  I gave her a serious look. “We agree that no matter what I did wrong, or what you imagine you did wrong, our fight the other day was wrong,” I corrected. “Because forgetting about all the rest of it, and even factoring in all the stress I was under? That was no way to talk to the woman that I love.”

  The words were out of me before I could even think about them, but I knew they were right just then. I loved Abby. Maybe she hadn’t worked for me so long, and maybe there was still a lot we needed to get through. But at the end of the day, I loved her, and that right there was the reason that losing her, in my personal life as well as around the office, worried me.

  At the end of the day, I loved her. And that was all there was to it.

  “You love me?” Abby asked in surprise. Then, her face fell a little. “You mean, as your advisor.” Her words were flat and disheartened.

  I frowned, my arms itching to reach for her, to pull her towards me, to use physical touch to ease all her worries. But I didn’t want to overstep. Not until I fully understood what she was feeling. So instead, I shook my head. “No,” I told her. “Not just as my advisor. Abby, I love you. And I’m sorry that I’ve done a piss-poor job of showing you how amazing I really think you are, but I am hoping you give me one more chance. Even though I know that by all rights, I don’t deserve it.”

  Chapter 16

  Abby

  I STARED AT DANIEL, wondering just what to say in response to that declaration of love. Of course, it didn’t solve everything. I wasn’t the kind of woman who believed that just because a man told me he loved me, suddenly everything was going to be all roses and chocolate kisses. Love didn’t solve things at work, or the media, or the anger issues. Love didn’t make up for all the ways I had messed up as well.

  But then again, I had never even expected Daniel to just show up like this. His phone calls, sure—after the way he had been calling me, I had expected there would still be some kind of conversation. Maybe over the phone, or maybe at work tomorrow. But to just show up at Matt’s house in the middle of dinner? That was...different. And there was something about it that made me feel somehow both worse and better.

  He cared enough to be there. Like he thought all of this was his fault. I was glad that he could admit his actions weren’t entirely correct. It also made me feel worse for not answering any of his calls.

  But he didn’t seem like he was here just to hash out the blame over all of that. No, it seemed like he was here because he really wanted to fix things between the two of us. I didn’t know just what to say in response to that.

  Finally, I sighed and looked away from his earnest face. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” I promised him. Because it had never really been a question of whether or not I was continuing to work for him. I liked the job, and even though I knew I had messed things up in my time as a CEO, I felt sure that I could recover when I went back to being just his advisor again.

  At least, if everyone around the office was as forgiving as Daniel was. And if he and I didn’t show up to work together the following morning, putting the exclamation point on whatever stories the media had spent the weekend coming up with, thanks to whatever dirt Duncan had uncovered.

  Was there any dirt there? I hated that I still had to think about that.

  “Is this a routine for you?” I suddenly blurted out.

  Daniel looked confused for a second. “Showing up to...” Then he trailed off, comprehension dawning. “Sleeping with people around the office,” he said flatly.

  “I hate that I have to ask,” I hurried to say. “And I don’t feel like I really need to ask. First of all, it’s not really any of my business who you’ve slept with before. And second of all, I don’t really believe that you have, despite everything I’ve ever heard about you, and despite all the unwarranted advice that everyone has tried to give me about this whole thing.” I was gesturing awkwardly between the two of us, I realized.

  I took a deep breath, bringing my hands back down to my sides. “It’s just that I don’t know what to expect from you or the media. Or from Duncan now, for that matter. And that’s terrifying, honestly. Because I want to believe that you’re the guy I know you are, the guy I’ve seen ever since I started working for McGregor Enterprises. But I also don’t want to look like an idiot defending you if it turns out you’re not the man I thought you were.”

  Daniel gave me half a smile. “I’m not even s
ure I know what you’re saying anymore,” he joked.

  “I’m trying to say that I love you as well, you idiot,” I said matter-of-factly. “So you’d better tell me now if there’s any reason why I shouldn’t.”

  The words were surprisingly easy, now that I gave myself subconscious permission to say them. And you would have thought it was the worst possible time to say them. If I was waiting for the romantic time to blurt out declarations of love, I surely should have kept waiting. But there was something about Daniel’s facial expression that let me know just how worried he was that he was losing me. And that in itself made me want to do everything in my power to reassure him he still had me.

  That he had captured me, heart and soul; that no matter what he did, or I did, I would keep coming back to him, if he would only let me.

  Daniel stared at me for a beat longer and then took a step closer, cupping my cheeks between his palms, kissing me gently. He pulled back, brushing his thumb along my cheekbone. “I know that kisses can’t make everything right between us,” he said. “But I just can’t help myself.”

  I laughed, unable to help it. “Kisses are all right,” I said, leaning up on my toes to kiss him again until we were both breathless this time. When I pulled away from the kiss, I still leaned into his body. “I know you had a lot on your mind,” I told him. “And I wish there were something that I could do to make the Duncan situation better. I really am sorry about that.”

  Daniel shook his head, leaning his forehead against mine. “Forget about that,” he said, brushing my hair back behind my ear, his fingers lingering there for a moment. He sighed and pulled away. “We have a lot to talk about. But just promise me that we will talk and that you won’t keep shutting me out like this. This weekend has been hard, I have to admit.”

  “It’s been hard for me, too,” I said softly. “But I promise I won’t keep ignoring you.”

  Matt cleared his throat from nearby, before Daniel could lean in to kiss me again or vice versa. I blushed brilliantly, pulling away. What my brother must be thinking right now? I had told him that Daniel and I would talk, of course, and Matt had been the one to convince me of that. He had told me that he believed Daniel was a good guy.

  But all the same, I felt embarrassed, almost, that I had caved so easily. A few gentle words, and here I was, ready to get in over my head again. I supposed that was another thing I needed to talk to Daniel about. This getting in over my head thing, I couldn’t keep doing that. It was what had undone us the first time, because I’d panicked about the media coverage. I knew better than to do that again.

  Except that with all the drama I’d been through, I still wanted Daniel. And I knew that I would regardless of what happened. It was the only reason that I’d been willing to let the press know about us in the first place. I trusted Daniel. And I trusted that he wasn’t making drama because he wanted to.

  All media things aside, he needed someone by his side, just like I did. And it wouldn’t be fair to leave him on his own just because I was nervous that one day he might want to leave me.

  “Leanne’s putting the kids to bed in a minute,” Matt told us. “How about the two of you come into the living room for a glass of wine?”

  I knew immediately what he was trying to do: get us out of the hallway, where the kids would have to pass us on their way upstairs, as well as getting Daniel further inside, where he and I would have no choice but to talk, where Matt and Daniel could talk as well.

  But Matt didn’t ask any of the horrible questions I imagined as we headed into the living room. Instead, he poured us each a glass of a nice red cabernet and sat us down in the cozy living room. “How’ve you been, Daniel?” he asked easily.

  Daniel made a face and then glanced over at me, like he was wondering just how much I had already told my brother. “I’m sure you’ve seen the news,” he finally said.

  “Some of it,” Matt agreed, shrugging. “And I’m sure the trial sucked. But that’s not exactly what I asked.” There was the hint of a smile at the corners of his lips, and I suddenly realized that Matt was teasing Daniel.

  And wasn’t that the surest sign I could get that Matt and Leanne had accepted Daniel?

  Daniel glanced over at me. “Things are okay,” he finally said. “Not great, but okay.”

  Matt grinned at him and then transferred his grin to me. “I know that feeling,” he said. “What happens now?”

  “What do you mean?” Daniel asked in surprise.

  “Now that you’re done with the trial,” Matt clarified. “What happens next?”

  Daniel shrugged one shoulder. “I guess I go back to work as usual,” he said, with another glance over at me. “That is, as long as Abby is willing to come back to work as my advisor. Otherwise, I guess what happens is that I have to start interviewing for someone new. But that’s not what I really want to be doing.”

  Matt snorted, and Leanne, as she entered the room, started laughing. Daniel grinned at them. “The thing is, this trial didn’t turn out as badly as it could have. They slammed me with the maximum fine, but not to sound like an ass, that money is nothing to me. As for the anger management courses, well.” He looked over at me, raw honesty in his gaze. “I’m still not sure that I really need them, but they can only help, right?”

  I smiled back at him and reached over to rest a hand on his thigh, squeezing lightly.

  “And the two of you are doing all right?” Leanne asked carefully, her eyes full of concern as she looked over at me. I knew I probably hadn’t been subtle about my mood through dinner, and I wondered how much Matt had filled her in on while I was out of the room. Not that I really minded. When it really came down to it, the only reason I had held off on telling Leanne about this was that I wanted to do some thinking of my own before asking her opinion, and I felt embarrassed about the mistake I had made. Daniel and Matt had helped me feel less embarrassed about the whole thing, and now I was just glad that things seemed to be okay between the two of us.

  Daniel had even said that he loved me. Not in the heat of passion, but he had just said it, like it was fact.

  “We’re doing all right,” Daniel said, and I realized that everyone had been waiting for me to answer Leanne’s question. But while I thought about our earlier conversation, Daniel answered effortlessly. It made relief rush through me. We really were okay, then. He wasn’t mad at me. I hadn’t lost him.

  “Actually,” Daniel continued, glancing over at me, “one of my top priorities going back to work will be training Abby up to be a CEO.”

  I stared at him in surprise. “You don’t have to do that,” I protested.

  Daniel rolled his eyes as he grinned at me. “Of course I don’t have to,” he said. “And don’t make the mistake of thinking that I’m excited for the day you quit your job as my advisor so that you can take a CEO position with some other company. But I think it’ll be good for you.”

  I grimaced. “Because then the next time you need me to step in and help out, I won’t make such a stupid mistake?” I guessed.

  “Of course not,” Daniel said, shaking his head. “Come on, like I said, I would probably have done the same thing with Duncan. You need to quit beating yourself up over that. But I do think that a little more training will make you feel more comfortable if you need to take over for me again. I know this time was probably a bit overwhelming. This will make things better for both of us.”

  “I don’t know if I’m really ready to start training to be a CEO yet,” I said, frowning. “That’s a lot of responsibility. And I feel like I’m only just starting to get a handle on the rest of my duties as your advisor.”

  Daniel laughed. “I don’t plan on heaping responsibilities on you,” he said. “As you know, I hate delegating much of anything anyway. And if I make things too difficult for you, all you have to do is let me know and we’ll scale things back. But put it this way: I threw you into the thick of things and you handled yourself beautifully. I don’t really think you’re going to have any t
rouble.”

  And with the way he smiled at me, I was sure he was right. He’d be there to coach me every step of the way. This was just training; the stakes wouldn’t be nearly as high as they’d been over the couple days of the trial when I’d had to cover for him. Not only that, but he was still so sure that I could do this.

  I nodded at him. “All right,” I said. “If you think that’s for the best.”

  “I’m still just glad that everything worked out all right with the trial,” Leanne said. “And that things worked out for you, Abby, in your trial as CEO of the company.”

  I reached over and caught Daniel’s hand, smiling at Matt and Leanne. “I’m just glad that you had me over for dinner tonight,” I joked. “That was probably the best meal I’ve had in a while.”

  There was laughter all around, and the conversation turned to lighter topics from there.

  Daniel and I might still have more to discuss, but suddenly, all my worries of the past few days seemed so silly. Daniel would never hurt me, and just because he’d yelled at me, it didn’t mean that he suddenly hated me. Hell, he didn’t even want to fire me. I had to calm down about this relationship.

  Daniel wasn’t like my exes—I just had to remember that. Let him show me the person he really was. Stop running away from this.

  I smiled over at him, and he squeezed my hand. “I guess I should get going,” he said to Leanne and Matt, an apologetic note in his voice. “I want to get to work early tomorrow morning so I can get caught up on everything that happened while I was gone.” He glanced over at me. “I want to talk to Erin, in particular, about what Duncan did. I might see if there’s any sort of legal action we can take against him. Asking about my workers’ sex lives has to count as harassment or something.”