A Race for Love

by Jillian Dagg

  "These clothes will last me for years," she said breathlessly as they stopped in a café for tea and cakes, surrounded by packages and exhausted.

  "You're an attractive woman," Cheryle conceded. "You should dress to it."

  When they arrived home, Richard was sitting in the living room, reading a book.

  "Have a good time?" he asked, smiling at them both.

  "I spent all your money," Tanya told him.

  "So I notice," he grinned looking at the array of packages.

  "That's good. Have fun."

  "We have some lovely things," Cheryle told him. Tanya had found out that Cheryle was in her element shopping for clothes. It was obviously her favorite occupation.

  Richard joined the two women for dinner, but Tanya noticed that he looked terribly pale with dark smudges beneath his eyes. He excused himself immediately afterward.

  Did Cheryle think it strange that he made no intimate contact with his bride to be, or was the girl shrewd enough to guess that they'd come to an agreement of convenience?

  Tanya suspected the latter, but was glad that she tactfully refrained from saying anything. Probably Cheryle saw it as an easy way of being relieved of a lot of responsibility.

  As the day of the wedding and their trip to Canada drew closer, Tanya found herself extremely restless. She couldn't even seem to concentrate on reading a book. She packed all her new clothes, plus any of her old ones that were still good.

  Cheryle said she'd send anything Tanya didn't want to a local rummage sale. After Tanya had packed, she re-packed, more because she needed something to keep her active, than out of necessity. Was Richard really going to see her in all these bits of filmy underwear and negligees?

  She didn't have much time alone with Richard until the evening before the wedding. Cheryle and Jonathan had gone out to visit some friends. Louise and Harry were in their quarters. After dinner, Tanya followed Richard into the living room where there was a blazing fire.

  Richard sat down on his usual uncomfortable chair, and Tanya perched on the edge of an armchair. She swung one leg restlessly while the other foot kicked at the rug on the floor.

  "Nervous?" Richard asked suddenly, making her jump.

  "Not really."

  His mouth curved in amusement. "You're as jumpy as a cat these last few days. Has Cheryle been overpowering?"

  "A little," she admitted. "I think she's pushing me on my way."

  "Probably glad to get rid of us both so tidily,"he agreed."She has something of my mother's acting ability, and all of my father's ruthlessness."

  "I also think she likes big social events where she can invite her friends and act like a queen."

  Richard laughed harshly, "The social event of the year.

  Beauty and the Beast.Marriage between a cripple and a beautiful young woman. Who's much too good for him, I might add."

  "Richard." Tanya was down her knees beside him. "You mustn't talk like that."

  "How do you expect me to talk?" he asked. "Do you really think that this is going to be fun for you?"

  "I am not looking for fun," she told him sincerely. "And you will get better. You will."

  Cheryle helped Tanya dress for her wedding. They had chosen a short dress of a shimmering white silk with a scooped neckline and three-quarter sleeves. A tight bodice emphasized Tanya's full breasts, while the flowing skirt gently outlined her shapely hips. Tanya put on her silver-tinted pantyhose and sat on the bed to buckle her fragile sandals.

  She stood for Cheryle to place her hair on her shoulders and to make the final adjustments on the small net veil. Cheryle handed her the bouquet of yellow roses and stood back to admire the effect.

  "Do you think it's too much?" Tanya asked anxiously.

  "What do you mean?"

  "It's only a small wedding. Perhaps I should have worn something more simple."

  "You're marrying my brother, Tanya," Cheryle said firmly in her haughty tones. "Not some boy off the streets."

  Jonathan drove up in a hired silver Rolls Royce to take her to the registry office. White satin ribbons formed a vee from the hood ornament across the front of the car, giving it a festive look that Tanya didn't feel. Then she chided herself as she met Jonathan's dark admiring eyes in the rear-view mirror.

  "Quite beautiful, love," he said as he drove along sedately.

  "Are you sure you know what you're getting into?"

  "Of course," Tanya said, swallowing hard against all her personal indecision. She was in an adult world now, away from colleges, schools, and foster parents. She was going to become a wife, and maybe even a mother sometime. That thought gave her another jolt.

  Jonathan went on. "Richard's injuries are serious, I believe. I hope for your sake that he's all in one piece."

  "What do you mean?" The words came out in a jerk, as her fingers nervously touched the expensive leather upholstery beside her.

  Jonathan's dark eyes looked cynical. "Well, I wouldn't want to see anything as gorgeous as you go to waste," he drawled.

  "I'm not quite sure what you're getting at," Tanya said.

  She could feel herself blush and forced herself to meet Jonathan's mocking gaze in the mirror.

  "What I'm Saying is that maybe he's only half a man."

  Tanya trembled with anger. "Let me assure you," she said, with as much firmness as she could muster, "he's all man."

  Jonathan grinned. "Well, good for you, love, and good for him that he hasn't wasted his three weeks in England. I guess he's pretty Smart though, being a Wicklow. Knows when there's a good thing going."

  "Richard's not like that," Tanya told him. "Now will you please stop?"

  "Sorry." For once, Jonathan sounded genuinely contrite. "I shouldn't have said anything, but, you know, you wonder about these things."

  Tanya sat back in her seat, trying to control herself.

  "Perhaps you had best stop wondering and worry about your own love life," she suggested sharply.

  "Richard's a lucky man," was the surprising response.

  Jonathan's voice was unexpectedly warm and Tanya felt herself swallow against the involuntary tears.

  Tanya would have preferred to be married in a church rather than in a dowdy south London registry office. She and Richard had stood behind a battered table to be married by a neat little man with glasses in a shiny black suit. On the old table someone had placed a large vase of spring flowers with a white satin ribbon tied around the base. Tanya kept her eyes fastened on it throughout most of the ceremony to avoid turning around to glare at Cheryle's sophisticated London friends, shifting and wriggling on their scraping chairs. She had vaguely heard them chattering and laughing when she had first entered the room, but now they were silent as she and Richard said their vows.

  Her hands trembled and perspired as she clutched the yellow roses. From the corner of her eye she had caught a glimpse of Richard, dressed in a gray suit, his body hard and muscular beneath the immaculate fit. Certainly, his appearance belied Jonathan's sly insinuations. His patent virility went through her like a shock. A ray of sunlight from the dusty window lit his hair to frame a golden aureole around his stern face. Tanya's heart contracted. TO LOVE, TO

  HONOR, and TO CHERISH. What would these words mean to him?

  Richard bent down to slip the plain gold wedding band on her finger, his lean fingers warm on hers. He smiled gently as he eased the ring over her sticky, perspiring flesh. Now it was firmly on, binding her to this gray-eyed stranger leaning down to kiss her.

  Hand in hand, amid laughter and confetti, Richard and Tanya walked to the silver Rolls Royce. When they were finally settled behind Jonathan in the back seat, Tanya noticed that Richard's lips were compressed and that beads of perspiration glistened on the smooth skin of his forehead. She slid her hand to cover his, clenched on his knee. Almost imperceptibly, she could feel his fingers slowly begin to relax.

  Cheryle had outdone herself in planning the reception. The restaurant was in an old Tudor house. The wedding re
ception itself was held in a back room that had been decorated with large silver goblets of bright flowers. Silver streamers floated from the ceiling. A three piece orchestra played current hits and several couples had already started to dance. At the other end of the room a long buffet table was crowded with delicacies, including even a wedding cake with a miniature bride and groom on top. Even if Cheryle wanted to get rid of them as quickly as possible, Tanya thought wryly, she was giving them a glorious send-off.

  Richard was quite the hero. He circulated among the guests, chatting easily, answering all questions, even those about his accident, good-naturedly.

  Finally, they had to leave to catch the plane. Tanya laughingly refused yet one more offer to dance, and they said their goodbyes, leaving the guests to what appeared to be an increasingly lively party.

  They coralled a reluctant Jonathan to drive them to Heathrow. He stored their luggage into the trunk as they both went upstairs to change.

  Richard escorted Tanya to her bedroom door. "Did you have a good time?" he asked her, surveying her flushed appearance. "I thought it went surprisingly well."

  "I enjoyed it," she admitted.

  "I'm sorry I couldn't ask you to dance," he said a bit more stiffly.

  "That's all right, Richard," Tanya said. Her eyes were still brilliant from excitement and the unaccustomed champagne.

  "We will have plenty of other chances—"

  Richard's expression softened. She could feel the gentle curve of his lips as they brushed hers.

  "Now, get along with you and dress. We don't have much time," he said gruffly.

  She had turned to enter her bedroom when she felt his arm on her shoulder, turning her around again to him.

  "Tanya," he said, "I wanted to tell you. You looked lovely today. I am a lucky man."

  Before she could form an answer, he had pushed her into her room and firmly closed the door behind her.

  Her green pantsuit was lying out on the bed with a matching green silk blouse. She slipped out of her wedding gown, rolling it up so that it fitted into the slot she'd left in her smaller suitcase. Then she dressed, and combed out her hair. Cheryle had put rather a lot of makeup on her face. She scrubbed some of it off, and made herself look more natural.

  It might be all right for all those theatrical types, she thought, thinking of the wedding guests, but not for me.

  Holding the small suitcase and her handbag, she glanced around the room for the last time. She wouldn't be sorry to see the back of this house, that was for sure.

  Richard was already downstairs waiting when she got there. Jonathan swung her suitcase from her with a grin and a wink.

  "You're a honey," he whispered, and Tanya couldn't stop herself from smiling at his open flirting. She could feel Richard scowling beside her, but was determined to ignore it.

  "I'm ready," she told him brightly.

  He opened the car door, and she slid along the seat. He came in beside her. He'd changed out of the gray suit into denim pants, a blue high-necked sweater and a leather jacket, looking just as imposing in the casual clothes.

  "Is there something wrong?" she asked when he didn't speak for a while. Jonathan was stil outside the car, putting away the last of their bags.

  "Should there be?" he asked curtly.

  She shook her brilliant head. What had she done now?

  Before she'd changed he'd been so gentle ... almost ... loving.

  Now he looked as though he hated her.

  As they traveled around the western outskirts of London, Tanya kept her eyes riveted to the scenery. Not that Staines was the most picturesque part of England, but even the sight of an English Mini could bring her close to tears right now.

  Maybe she'd never see England again. Richard had said she could visit, but one never knew what life held in store. She certainly didn't know, she thought as she glanced at her husband's hard knee.

  Living with him would mean that she'd glimpse the inner core of his being. On the outside he was polite, courteous, too proud to admit defeat. But on the inside, he might be bitter, even twisted because of the accident that had cruelly taken his way of life. Or maybe he wouldn't reveal anything to her.

  Maybe he'd continue the way he was, cool, contained, with no release for the torment she knew he must feel at times. She remembered he'd mentioned that his house was isolated. Had she driven herself into a trap? She stared around at the buildings and streams of cars as they entered the busy airport. Did she have time now to escape before it was too late? Then Richard's hand touched hers where it lay in her lap, tense and hot.

  "We're there," he said, not quite as grim now. "Are you ready?"

  Ready? Would she ever be really ready, she asked herself as she walked into the terminal at Heathrow with Richard and Jonathan.

  Jonathan shook Richard's hand. "All the best," he told him, and then glanced at Tanya. "I have to kiss the bride," he said, and before she could stop him, he'd claimed her lips with a brief kiss. "Best of luck, love," he smiled. He looked endearingly English, his accent so familiar that Tanya felt a strong pull to run after him when he turned and left them together.

  Richard's fingers clamped down on her shoulder. "You're with me, remember," he told her.

  Glancing up into the cool gray eyes, she knew he would never allow her to forget it.

  Chapter Four

  As the Air Canada jet took off, Tanya looked out of the window, and took her last glimpse of the green fields and red brick buildings of England. Again, tears pricked behind her eyes, despite the thrill of being in a plane for the first time.

  She glanced at the man by her side, but he sat staring directly ahead. She wondered if the takeoff caused him any pain. He hadn't been in a very good mood since they'd said goodbye to Jonathan. She wondered if he'd been jealous of Jonathan's attentions to her, and then thought better of it.

  How could he be jealous when he didn't care?

  She rubbed her stomach beneath the green material of her silk blouse and wished it would cease churning. She didn't feel like a wife, especially not to the silent stranger beside her.

  He moved restlessly at her side. He unfastened his seat belt.

  "Okay?" he asked, noticing her pale face.

  "Fine." She searched for some reassurance in his cool glance.

  She was still holding on to her stomach.

  "Do you feel sick?" he asked.

  She shook her head. "No, just nervous. I've never flown before."

  "It's fun," he said. "Just relax."

  The attendant was smiling over them and Richard returned the smile. She was a sophisticated-looking woman with a shiny cap of brown hair. More his type than I am, thought Tanya.

  "We'll have a couple of ginger ales," Richard said and she poured the drinks into plastic glasses full of ice and handed them over.

  Tanya would have expected Richard to have something alcoholic and said so.

  "I can't drink," he told her, "too many other things entering my system."

  She nodded. There was so much she had to learn about her new husband.

  He rattled his glass around in his hand.

  "Cheers, Mrs. Wicklow," he said before he took a sip.

  "Cheers." Tanya raised her own glass. Mrs. Wicklow!

  After the attendants had collected the empty glasses, the meal was served. Tanya looked down at her piece of chicken and vegetables, wondering how she was ever going to eat it.

  But she managed, and even enjoyed the fruit dessert.

  Richard's appetite was good, however, and he finished off what she couldn't get through.

  "How much longer?" she asked, after the trays had been cleared away and she could stretch out her legs again.

  He looked at his watch, "Another five hours. Why don't you try and sleep for a while? I'm going to."

  She nodded and sat back in her seat. She tried to relax by closing her eyes, but she remained still and tense. Then the Captain mentioned something about flying over Labrador. She looked down and saw t
he faint outline of brown land and white icebergs surfacing through ocean. Excitement gripped her as she listened carefully to what the man was telling them. Then she was watching the St. Lawrence River wind its way through Quebec.