A Race for Love

by Jillian Dagg

"He's up in his room," Cheryle said. "He hasn't been home long, but he was very tired."

  "Can I go up?"

  "You're his wife," she said, "I can't see why not. He might be asleep though."

  "I'll be very quiet," Tanya told her. "What room is he in?"

  "The small one at the end of the hall."

  Tanya smiled her thanks. But once outside Richard's room, she froze. It was several minutes before she gained courage to knock on the door.

  "Come in." Then when she didn't answer, he asked, "Who is it?"

  "It's me," she said at last in a small voice.

  She heard the springs of the mattress twang and his footsteps, and then Richard was standing in front of her. He'd never looked so attractive. His tan was dark, his hair lightened by the sun. She thought she saw amusement lurking in the depths of his eyes as she stared at him. With an involuntary movement she reached up to touch him, and then thought better of it, and retracted the gesture.

  "Hi," she said.

  "Hi," he nodded. "Why don't you come in." He opened the door wider and she walked inside, her legs trembling uncontrollably. Then he closed the door.

  The bed covers were rumpled. An open magazine lay across the bed. She looked up at him while he tied the belt of his navy terry robe more securely around his waist.

  "Congratulations," she said, "I saw you on television."

  "I was hoping you would."

  "Do you mean that?" Her eyes held his.

  His glance slid to her waist. "I don't lie, Tanya."

  She sighed, "I know."

  "You're a hard person to trace. Although I have to admit, I'd only just started looking in London. It was a stroke of luck I won that race."

  "I'm sure you practiced hard," she said.

  He looked modest, "Okay, I did," he told her.

  "Why were you looking for me?" she asked.

  He raised an eyebrow. "We are married, or had you forgotten?"

  "No, but you didn't want me, you wanted Dianna. I thought I left you free."

  "Dianna wants a hero. I'm just an ordinary guy who wants a Woman. All the time, not just when I'm winning." He was still curiously examining her body.

  "But you wanted Dianna again?

  "I admit that," he said. "I admit that I wanted to feel what it felt like with her again. I even took her out, but I couldn't go through with it."

  "She visited me," Tanya said.

  "Where?" He looked surprised.

  "At the house. She told me that she was responsible for your accident. That you were upset because she didn't attend the race with you."

  "Granted she didn't come with me. But then she was often busy with the boutique and couldn't come. The accident was caused by an oil leak from another car. I skidded and couldn't recover," he shrugged.

  She turned away from him and moved around, her fingers straying to the magazine on the bed. It was a car magazine and a picture of John Laughton caught her eye. She put it down.

  "Next month I'll be in there," he said.

  "And then one day you might be an obituary," she told him, turning to face him again.

  "We'll all be an obituary one day."

  "I know."

  "Besides, I don't particularly want to crack myself up again, especially if I have a child."

  She looked at him, startled. "How do you know?"

  He smiled, "I can see by looking at you."

  "That's why I came to you, Richard. I don't want my child to grow up as alone as I did."

  "That's the only reason you came?" His gray eyes held hers and they were warm as she'd remembered them.

  "I love you, Richard," she told him. "You might as well know, if you haven't guessed already. I don't care if you don't love me. I just want our child to have two parents. You can have who you want, Dianna or that blonde who was with you on the television, I don't care as long as I'm still your wife."

  In two strides he came to her. She felt his arms go around her and squeeze her close to him. His mouth moved against her hair. "Why did you leave?" he asked thickly. "Why in the world did you leave?"

  "I thought you didn't need me," she said in a muffled voice against his shoulder.

  "I've never needed anyone the way I need you. And as for not loving you, you're very mistaken. And Dianna, I don't give a hoot about her. And that blonde girl you're talking about is John's fiancee, Heather. They'll probably be married by the time we get back to Canada."

  "I'm sorry," she said, gulping back tears of happiness.

  "No, I'm sorry." His arms tightened around her. "I was the one that selfishly wanted you. When you pulled up that straight-backed chair and sat down beside me the day of the funeral and looked at me with those wide, green eyes, I knew that I wanted you more than anything I had ever wanted in my life before...."

  "More than racing?" Tanya interjected slyly, snuggling closer to him.

  "Much more than racing, you little witch. And now, if you will permit me to continue—" Richard's tone was mockingly rueful. "I knew that I could never have you without marriage, you were too innocent for that, so I callously took advantage of your unfortunate situation and married you."

  "And did you regret it?" Tanya couldn't help herself. Her old insecurity had risen to plague her.

  "Did you find me such a reluctant bridegroom?" his lips brushed her ear.

  Tanya felt hot all over. "But," she persisted, "I thought you were marrying me to be kind—and because you needed someone to take care of you after your accident. That's all."

  Richard pulled away a little and gave an incredulous laugh.

  "Is that what you really thought, darling? To think you lived with me all those months and never knew how I felt. I would have thought it had been plain. I love you. I love you. I have loved you since the first moment I saw you. When you left me, I thought I would go mad from worry about you. Why do you think I came over here? Just to be in the race? I wanted that too, of course, but my main reason was to find you and never let you go again." He lifted a lock of her auburn hair and raised it to his lips, then looked worriedly into her misted green eyes. "You look so pale, my darling, what have you been doing all these weeks?"

  "Working as a waitress and living in a miserable bed-sitter.

  Believe me, Richard, I never would have left Canada if I had known that I was having our child. And if you hadn't come here," she shuddered, "I don't know what I would have done.

  Gone on welfare maybe—"

  "I would have found you." Richard interrupted her with a kiss. At first his kiss was tender and gentle, but it did not remain so as his pent-up longing and desire overcame him.

  Tanya wound her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him as she had dreamed so often of doing over the long nights that they had been apart. Finally, he pulled his mouth from hers, to whisper in her ear, "Say you love me again."

  "I love you, Richard."

  His arms tightened around her and she felt him tremble.

  "You know, all the time you were unsure about me, I was just as unsure about you. I thought you'd just come along for the security. When you didn't have an interest in me racing, I thought that you couldn't possibly love me if you didn't accept what I did for a living."

  "I was just scared, Richard."

  "I know. John put me straight. He was actually quite blunt." He smiled ruefully. "I should have made it easier for you, but I was nervous. I wasn't sure if I could get in that car again and race."

  "But you did and I'm proud." Tanya reached up and stroked the hair away from his forehead. "Where've you been to get that tan?"

  "We practiced down in Florida."

  "Where there lots of girls?" she asked before she could stop herself.

  "Tanya," he shot her a warning look. "I had to practice long, hard hours to get where I did in that race this afternoon. Please believe me once and for all, there has been no one since our marriage."

  "I believe you," she said softly.

  "Good," he muttered, claiming her mouth onc
e more. "Are you staying here?"

  "Do you want me to?"

  "What do you think?" His eyes were dark with desire.

  Tanya smiled in unabashed happiness. "What about Cheryle?" she sighed.

  "What about Cheryle?" His hands moved beneath her sweater.

  "Shouldn't we tell her that I'm staying?"

  "Maybe later," he whispered, his lips on her throat. "Much later," he added huskily.