All the Fun of the Fair

by All the Fun of the Fair (retail) (epub)

  ‘It was late in the evening when I came out of the station, not having a clue where to start finding myself a bed for the night. I put down my case and looked up and down the street, wondering which best way to head. I noticed a woman was watching me. By the way she was acting and dressed, I knew she was a prostitute. She started to walk over to me and I was scared that she thought I was a prostitute too and was going to tackle me to move off her pitch. I snatched up my case and began to hurry off but she caught up with me and told me that I had looked so lost and lonely and reminded her of how she was when she first arrived in the city that she just had to come and ask me if I needed any help. At that moment, I didn’t care what she did for her living, I was just so grateful to have the offer. I told her I was looking to make a new life here but first needed a bed for the night and that I had no idea where to start looking. Sophia, that was her name she told me, said that if I didn’t mind a lumpy sofa I could stay with her and her other flatmates. I almost fell on her in gratitude.

  ‘I stayed with Sophia and Elsie, sleeping on their sofa for over a week, and during that time they introduced me to a number of their other friends. And what a mish-mash of people they were; other prostitutes, homosexuals who earned their living as drag artists in the clubs, strippers and also people who did ordinary jobs in the banks and offices in the city. What a welcoming group of people they were. Whether Sophia, Elsie, or any of the other people I was now friendly with guessed I wasn’t the woman I said I was, they never let on in all the time I mixed amongst them. I suppose they all had their own secrets.

  ‘Some nights after the shows ended and Sophia and Elsie had finished their work for the night they would meet up with some of those friends in their flats, take drink and food and insist I came along. One of the women I met at one of these get-togethers was middle-aged woman who earned her living as a fortune teller. Rosie Lee, she called herself. I never did find out what her real name was. She had a spare room which she was willing to rent out to me if I wanted, as long as I was quiet when she had people in to do their readings. I had already managed to get myself a job as a waitress in a cafe which was just a walk away from Rosie Lee’s flat and she seemed nice enough.

  ‘I stayed with Rosie for two years, we really got on well together. She hadn’t had an easy life. Had been married to an abusive husband and, as soon as her kids had left home, she left him. She no idea where she was going but somehow ended up in London. Rosie was lucky as she’d always had a gift for fortune-telling. Her mother and grandmother had had it too and she used to tell her neighbours’ and friends’ fortunes, so she decided to use that gift to make her living in London. When we were alone in the evenings as she’d no clients, she took to teaching me how to read the tarot, then palms, the crystal ball and how to hone in on my sixth sense. I found I was rather good at it all and Rosie thought so too. Finally, I started to try my hand at doing it myself on the other waitresses at work and was surprised how accurate I was. Never got it right all the time, no clairvoyant can truthfully claim that, but seven times out of ten at least. I never charged any money though, just did it for the pleasure of trying to help people who needed it.

  ‘Then I came home from work one night, aware that Rosie was going to be expecting a client shortly after so was prepared for a quick change and then going around to visit a friend, but I found the flat empty. All Rosie’s stuff was gone and there was a note for me propped up on the mantle. It seemed that a man had been asking around the area about Rosie; from the description it was her husband and, terrified what he would do to her should he catch up with her, she had no alternative but to make a quick escape. She didn’t say where she was going or whether she would be back. She was sorry to land this on me without any notice. That left me in quite a dilemma. The flat was in Rosie’s name and I was only the lodger so had no right to stay there without her. I couldn’t afford the rent myself, even if the landlord allowed me to stay. Even for a small, pokey room, the rents in London were extortionate. I knew there was no point going to my friends for help as none of them had any room for me unfortunately. Sophia and Elsie had another stray staying on their sofa at that time, so I had no alternative but to leave myself.

  ‘I had no idea where to go. Then I remembered that, when I was a child, my parents took me and my brothers to the seaside and there had been a fortune teller on the promenade who had a queue of people waiting to see her. It was spring now, I had the summer in front of me, so wondered if I could make a living for myself telling fortunes on the seafront. I could try, at least. So I headed for the nearest seaside town, which was Southend. I didn’t fare well there. There were already several fortune tellers operating on the front. I then tried several other seaside towns and found the same so I wondered if I’d be best to try towns further up north. Every town I tried I had no luck until I arrived in Scarborough. I was overjoyed to find that there had been a clairvoyant plying her trade there for years in a small hut on the parade but hadn’t shown that season and no one knew why. So my turning up was most fortunate. I stayed for the rest of the summer. Holidaymakers seemed happy with my readings and a few of the locals came to see me regularly. I managed to get cheap lodgings with a widow. Because I lived quite frugally, I did manage to put some money aside but not enough to keep me on over the winter when the season finished. There were no jobs going as anything to do with the summer trade was shut down and the locals who worked in those summer jobs had snapped up anything going over the winter. It seemed I had no alternative but to try and find work away from the coast. The thought of lugging my belongings on trains and buses from town to town while I travelled around to find work as I had done when I had left London and landed in Scarborough didn’t appeal, so I decided to use some of my savings on a little Ford Popular. A garage on the corner of the street where my lodgings were was selling it quite cheaply.

  ‘The nearest big town was Leeds. Hopefully I would get some sort of work there, a place to live at least for the winter, give me time to decide what to do next. As I drove through a small market town, I decided to stop for something to eat. That’s when I saw a poster for a travelling fair stuck on the door of the cafe I was about to go in. The fair was Grundy’s. I hadn’t been to a fair for many years and the urge to do so was so strong that I abandoned my meal and went to the fair instead.

  ‘It early afternoon but still teeming with people when I arrived and, as I wandered around, it wasn’t the crowds enjoying themselves that caught my attention but the fairfolk themselves. I saw the way they got on together, bantering between themselves, arguing, helping each other out, and it reminded me so much of the mish-mash of people I’d been amongst in London, that I was missing so terribly. I could imagine them all looking out for each other and sharing their lives. It was strange but I felt like I had arrived home, that this was the place that I was supposed to be. The urge I was feeling to become part of the fairfolk family was overwhelming. There didn’t seem to be a fortune teller already that I could see, so if I could only persuade the owner to take me on…’ She heaved a deep sigh. ‘You know the rest, Gem. Thankfully, Sam did agree to give me a trial.’

  Velda did then pluck up the courage to look at Gem. ‘Of course I constantly had the worry that someone would look at me too closely and guess my secret but, thankfully, no one ever did and, not once in the thirty years I have been with Grundy’s have I ever openly deceived any of you. Everyone accepted me for a woman from the moment I arrived and so did you when you first came. You’ve never had cause to question I wasn’t since. Not meaning to be vain but, as I told you earlier, I was good-looking when I was younger and I had a few men come on strong to me. I never took them on, even just to have a date with any of them, as to me that would have been me being deceptive; them believing they were dating a woman when in fact I was a man. That doesn’t mean to say I didn’t want to… I would have loved to have felt a man’s strong arms around me, his kiss on my lips, but that was one of the prices I had to pay for living my life as I was. That was w
hy I have never led Sam on. I love that man, Gem, with all my heart. Have done since I met him, even though he was already married to the love of his life and very happy with her. We can’t help who we fall in love with, can we? To hear Sam ask me what he did the other night was my wildest dream come true but I quashed it, made sure his hope of any relationship with me was well and truly nipped in the bud. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I really wanted to grab him and tell him how much he meant to me. Witnessing the pain in his eyes at my rejection broke my heart. It is said that we should grab happiness when we can but, in this case, that wouldn’t have been fair to Sam to use him like that, knowing the pain and heartache he would suffer when the truth of my situation did come out. Let alone what it would mean for me, because I would have to leave Grundy’s, wouldn’t I?’

  She paused for a moment then, worriedly wringing her hands and with tears of deep distress glinting her eyes, uttered, ‘I so regret what you saw and the shock it must be for you. Please know how very sorry I am. Sometimes, dear, life can be cruel and for those it’s been cruel to, well, all they can do is make the best of it. That’s all I have done, is make the best of my life and tried not to hurt anyone. I could ask you to keep my secret but that would be unfair of me and my morals wouldn’t allow me to ask another to lie on my behalf anyway. If you give me a couple of hours to get dressed, pack up and hitch my van to my Land Rover to make my leave before you tell people what you found out about me this morning, I would appreciate it.’

  Gem’s thoughts were tumbling as she watched Velda get up, fetch her clothes from where they were neatly stored at the side of the sofa and then disappear into the tiny bathroom, pulling the curtain across behind her. She bowed her head and clasped her hands tightly together. The utter disgust she had felt earlier at what she had seen and the implications of it had slowly dissipated as she had listened to Velda’s story unfolding. All she felt now was an overwhelming sadness for the life that Velda had been forced to live through no fault of her own. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for her, was still like for her in fact, to have the body of a man and yet everything else about her be female. It was hard for her to understand, she doubted she ever fully would. She herself was proud of her body. When no one was around, vain of her or not, she liked to stand before a mirror and admire as well as find criticism in the parts she didn’t like about it, so she couldn’t envisage how it must be for Velda to look at herself and feel neither admiration or dislike for her body but vehemently hate what she was viewing, feeling it alien to her.

  She lifted her head and looked over at the curtain drawn across the alcove into the bathroom, visualising the person behind dressing themselves. Regardless of what she had seen earlier, she still saw Velda as a woman. Velda was right that in all the twenty-odd years she had known her, never once had she had cause to question who she was. What would become of Velda if she did divulge what she knew about her? Velda had no blood family to accept her back into their fold, no other friends to aid her, so nothing but a lonely existence would face her as, once word got around on the fairground grapevine, no other fair community would accept her amongst them. She wasn’t a young woman any longer either, so starting again wouldn’t be easy.

  Gem wrestled with her conscience. But now she knew what she did, would she not be deceiving others by keeping this from them? Then Gem remembered her own secret and the reasons she had kept it to herself for fear of the damage it could do not only to those it affected but to herself as well, should it be discovered. Wasn’t she then being hypocritical in damning Velda for keeping her secret when she herself was guilty of doing just the same? And when all was said and done, was she herself prepared to wreck the life of this kindly, wise woman who had never harmed her or anyone else she knew in all the years she had known her? Could she live with herself afterwards if she did? She knew she couldn’t. So what if she locked what she’d seen away in the back of her mind and never thought of it again? She could do that for this dear woman’s sake, couldn’t she?

  The curtain on the bathroom alcove was pulled back and Velda emerged then, carrying her dressing gown. Gem had never seen her look so wretched. Immediately she got up and went over to her, laying a hand on hers and smiling at her kindly. Velda looked back at her warily, wondering just what it was that Gem was about to say to her. ‘As far as I’m concerned, this morning never happened. I never came back and saw what I did. You are and always will be a woman to me and one I care for very much. We will never speak of this again.’

  Velda gawped at her, utterly astounded. ‘You mean this, Gem? You would do this for me? Oh, I… I… don’t know how I can ever thank you.’

  Gem smiled, broader. ‘I’m being selfish. If you left who would I go shopping with, moan about Solly with, ask another woman’s advice on any problems I had? I would miss you and so would everyone else in the Grundy community. Will the bathwater still be hot?’

  Velda frowned, bewildered. ‘Er… yes, it should be.’

  ‘Then go and enjoy having a soak in it and when I come back from updating Sam we’ll have that coffee together before you collect your things and return to your own van.’

  Chapter Fourteen

  ‘Who was the bloke?’

  Sonny jumped at the unexpected voice of his brother, hastily secreting the small package the man had given him into his back pocket as he nonchalantly responded, ‘What bloke?’

  Solly bristled. ‘You know damned well what bloke I’m talking about. The one who was just leaving as I arrived?’

  ‘Oh, him.’ Sonny shrugged. ‘Just asking if we’d any work going. I told him to look for Dad as he’s the one who hires and fires. Did you want something?’

  Solly was frowning, bothered. He distinctly got the impression that his brother was lying to him. The man didn’t look the sort to be looking for casual work in a fair. Too well dressed and he was acting furtively, in Solly’s opinion. As for Sonny, he too was acting a little jumpy; as someone would when they’d be caught doing something they shouldn’t. He hoped that Sonny wasn’t up to no good with the man. Even if he wasn’t and his business with the man was all above board, it wasn’t likely that Sonny would tell him. It had been many years since his brother had confided in him. Nearly twenty years ago now. ‘Eh? Oh, yes. It’s Dad’s birthday on Monday, so we’re having a surprise get-together after the fair closes. Just family and a few of dad’s close friends.’

  Sonny looked unimpressed and grunted, ‘You always have a surprise birthday do for Dad so some surprise that will be to him. Anyway, it’s only Saturday, we’ve a move from here to Skipton to get through tomorrow, so why are you telling me now?’

  Solly responded evenly, ‘Does it really matter when I tell you as I doubt you’ll come anyway. Can’t remember the last time you graced us with your presence at a family do. Gem goes to a lot of trouble to make them special. It wouldn’t hurt you to show your face this time. Dad isn’t getting any younger. I know he’s a tough old bugger and hopefully has got many more years in him yet, but there’s no telling how many more of these dos we’ll be arranging for him.’

  He looked at Solly for a moment before he muttered, ‘Yeah, okay, I’ll be there. Now, if you don’t mind, the tannoy system is playing up on this ride and I need to sort it before we open at two.’

  As Solly walked away he was under no illusion that Sonny would break a twenty-year habit and come to the party. Gem had asked him to invite Sonny and that’s what he’d done.

  Sonny watched him go, breathing a sigh of relief. For a moment he worried that Solly had actually seen the exchange that had taken place between himself and his visitor but he would have said so if he had. This was the first package that had been placed in his safekeeping, which he would hide away later when he knew the coast was clear. He wondered how much his pay would amount to when someone turned up to collect it? Hopefully hiding these illicit goods for ‘Bossman’ might turn out to be quite lucrative. Bossman’s courier had already handed him a
five-pound note when he’d handed him the package with more to come when it was collected. That made him wonder just what the worth was of the contents? Had to be considerable as even just his part payment of five pounds was more than some men earned in a week.

  * * *

  Over at her parents’ stall Suzie was trying to hide her excitement from her parents. Today was the day her new future was going to start. She couldn’t wait to leave all this behind, to live in a nice house with all modern conveniences, a car to take her out in, a generous allowance for her to spend on what she wished, holidays abroad in fancy hotels and a fabulous social life in the best restaurants and clubs in town. Donny had left to start work before her this morning and, as soon as he had departed, she had hurriedly packed her belongings and hidden them at the back of the van ready to collect and make her getaway later when no one would see her as they were all busy on the rides and stalls.

  The first he would know about her leaving him was when he found the note she had written him when he came back at dinnertime. She had only told him the basics, no details of where she was going and who with as the last thing she wanted was for him to come looking for her. She didn’t care a jot how upset he’d be when he discovered the truth. As far as Suzie was concerned, Donny had just been a stepping stone towards getting the life she wanted for herself. The man who was going to provide this fabulous new future for her didn’t actually have any idea he was yet, but she knew how smitten he was with her. He had made that very plain during the times they had made love, in fact constantly paying her compliments when they were together and bemoaning the fact that the two-week visit to see her fairground friend was far too short. He had said he would miss her when she went home, so she was only taking matters into her own hands to grant him his wish that she didn’t leave him, wasn’t she?