If the Shoe Fits

by Rachel Lacey

  “I don’t want to lose you.” She wound her arms around him, pressing her face against his chest. His heart beat beneath her cheek, not slow and steady like she was accustomed to, but hard and fast like maybe his emotions were as messed up as hers were. Or maybe he was just afraid she was about to cause a big scene when he wanted a clean break.

  But he’d said leaving wouldn’t be as easy as he’d thought…

  “I don’t want to lose you either,” he said softly, one of his hands brushing across her hair in a gesture so tender that fresh tears welled in her eyes.

  “I love you.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, hanging between them in the dampness of her breath. Theo’s heart lurched beneath her cheek. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping, praying he might say it back, even when she knew it was wishful thinking. She wasn’t sure Theo understood enough about love to articulate it, even if he felt it.

  “I…Elle…dammit.”

  She heard the panic in his voice, felt it rising in her own chest. Dammit, indeed. She lifted her head, brought her lips to his. “Shh. Don’t say anything. Just think about it and know how much you mean to me. I don’t know what the answer is either, but if you want to try to figure something out when it’s time for us to leave here next week, let’s talk then, okay?”

  “Okay.” He kissed her back, his arms wrapped around her so tightly she could hardly draw breath. “I don’t have much experience with love, but you mean more to me than any woman ever has, and that’s the damn truth.”

  A tear escaped her eye, burning its way to her hairline. “That’s a really beautiful thing to say. Thank you.”

  “I feel like I’ve been fucking things up with you from the beginning, and I’m sorry for it. I just don’t know how to make any of this work.”

  “I don’t either,” she whispered. “But let’s not give up until we’ve exhausted all our options, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Oddly, she felt lighter and calmer now that she’d told him how she felt, like a weight had been lifted. With his arms around her, she closed her eyes and finally drifted back to sleep.

  Neither of them brought up Elle’s middle of the night confession as they got dressed the next morning. Theo seemed fairly unaffected, or at least he didn’t look like he was about to run for the hills because she’d told him she loved him. They got ready together and walked Louie with them to the castle for breakfast. Unlike yesterday, though, she and Theo parted in the hallway with a quick kiss. He headed for his office, and she brought Louie upstairs before meeting Ruby in the kitchen.

  “Good morning,” Ruby said, sipping coffee as she stared at Elle with slightly narrowed eyes through her backup glasses.

  “Morning.” Elle slid onto a stool beside her. “Have you seen Megan? Her door was closed when I brought Louie up, so I didn’t want to disturb her.”

  Ruby shook her head. “She’s been really quiet since the accident. I’m worried about her.”

  “Me too.” Elle allowed the feeling that had been tugging uncomfortably in her gut for the last day to surface. “It’s not just the physical pain, I don’t think.”

  “No.” Ruby tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “I’m not calling Megan vain or anything, believe me, but to think about potentially having scars like that…”

  Elle nodded quickly. “It would be hard for anyone, but Megan’s always been the pretty one, the popular one, the one who turns men’s heads wherever we go. This is…it just sucks.”

  “It does.” Ruby toyed with her bottom lip, looking over at Elle. “She’ll still be beautiful, you know? Even with scars.”

  “Of course, she will.”

  “It’ll just be an adjustment. A hard one.”

  “I hate that she won’t be here for the ball. The whole thing was her idea.” Elle fidgeted with the sleeve of her dress. “It’s so unfair.”

  Ruby nodded solemnly.

  Elle grabbed her in an impulsive hug. “We’ll help Megan through this. We’ll get through it together. We will.”

  “We will,” Ruby repeated, clinging to Elle for a moment before she straightened in her seat. “Friends hold each other up when times get tough.”

  “I’m so grateful for you guys. You have no idea.” Elle couldn’t imagine life without Ruby and Megan. They’d been her lifeline, tethering her to the zigzagging course of her life for so long she couldn’t remember a time without them.

  “Ditto.”

  They ate together, served breakfast, and then climbed the stairs to check on Megan. They found her already up and dressed, with a silver breakfast tray beside her bed and her parents bustling around the room, helping her pack.

  “Morning,” Elle said hesitantly from the doorway.

  Megan turned, giving her a half-smile. “Holding down the fort without me?”

  “We’ve totally got it covered, don’t you worry.”

  “You just focus on getting better,” Ruby added.

  “Don’t have too much fun without me,” Megan said, but her teasing tone fell flat, and then all three of them were hugging, clinging to each other through a mixture of laughter and tears.

  “It won’t be the same without you,” Elle told her. “Come back if you feel ready, okay?”

  Megan nodded, but her eyes slid away toward the window. “I think I just need to lay low and lick my wounds—so to speak—for a while.”

  Ruby nodded sagely. “We’ll be home before you know it, and then we’ll figure it all out together.”

  “We will,” Elle promised, hugging her tighter.

  “You girls warm my heart,” Ruth said from behind them. “Megan is so lucky to have you.”

  “And we’re lucky to have her,” Elle said, hearing the tremor in her voice.

  They said their goodbyes—which involved a lot of tears—and then Elle and Ruby headed upstairs to Ruby’s room to reconvene on everything they needed to get done over the next ten days. They had guests to tend to, pets to adopt out, and a charity ball to oversee. Big glamorous events were Megan’s forte. Already, Elle felt her absence like a physical loss.

  “You and I should go dress shopping,” she told Ruby.

  Her friend shook her head. “Not in the budget. We need to pinch every penny to save for our next venture.”

  “But…” Elle fought the sinking feeling in her stomach as she heard the truth in Ruby’s words. “We’re never going to get to do anything like this again. A ball in a castle? We should go all out.”

  “I’ve got three properties lined up for us to see once we’re home,” Ruby told her resolutely. “We can’t afford to spend money on fancy dresses right now, Elle. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” Elle said, trying to keep the disappointment out of her tone. “You’re right.”

  “Besides, I’m sure you have enough pretty things in your closet that we can pick through.”

  She did, but it wasn’t the same as picking out something new, especially for this event. Ruby was right, though. They’d be leaving the castle in just over a week, and it was time to focus on the future.

  With that settled, they discussed all the final details of the guest list, the menu, and the raffle to benefit the shelter. Priya would be attending with several other volunteers from the shelter and plenty of adoptable animals. Guests would be able to meet and mingle with the shelter pets, and hopefully, it would result in lots of adoptions.

  The next few days were a whirlwind. Elle and Ruby were too busy to worry about how everything was going to play out. Saturday rolled around with a full house—every room in the castle booked, which was typical for weekends these days.

  Theo caught up to her as she rushed from the kitchen toward the stairwell to take Louie out before giving what would be her last public tour. “What can I do? What do you need?” he asked, sliding his arms around her to draw her in for a quick kiss.

  “Just that,” she murmured against his lips. “Thank you.”

  “How is everything coming together f
or the ball?”

  “Good, I think. If Ruby and I have overlooked anything, we haven’t realized it yet.”

  “I doubt you have,” he said, sounding much more confident than she felt. “Between the two of you, you’ve got more than enough brain power to make this the event to end all events here at Rosemont Castle.”

  She nudged her shoulder against his. “Not that you ever host events here for comparison.”

  He shrugged, his eyes twinkling at her. “I have full confidence in you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I want you and Ruby to go shopping, buy the fanciest dresses you can find, accessories, shoes, everything. My treat.”

  “What?” Her breath caught in her throat.

  “You ladies have been extremely frugal with your expenses during your time here, almost ridiculously so.”

  “Theo, you don’t have to—”

  “Obviously, I don’t have to,” he cut her off, amusement in his tone. “I want to. Go shopping. Have fun. Spend as much as you want and charge it to the castle. Okay?”

  “If you insist,” she acquiesced with a soft smile, ridiculously happy that she’d get to go shopping after all but not entirely comfortable with using his money this way. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Buy something that will suitably dazzle me.” He winked at her.

  “I’ll do my best.”

  “I’m flying to London on Monday and will probably be there most of the week,” he told her. “But I’ll be back before the ball.”

  She swallowed past the disappointment that rose in her chest. Theo would be gone most of her last week at the castle. Their time together was measured in hours now, not days. He’d given her no indication that he returned her feelings or made plans to see her again after they’d both left Rosemont Castle. In fairness, he hadn’t done anything to make her think he was distancing himself from her either. But now he was leaving…

  “I know you’re busy, but please try to be here for the ball.” She knew she sounded needy, but she couldn’t help it. “It would really mean a lot to me.”

  He captured her lips with a heady kiss. “I wouldn’t miss it. Promise.”

  21

  Theo stood in his grandfather’s quarters, looking around the space. Over the past few weeks, he’d packed up Alistair’s personal effects. A few furniture pieces, items that had been in the family, would be sent to their estate in England. The rest would remain here for the new owners. Easily dealt with, the way Theo preferred it.

  Selling the castle would be better for all of them in the long run. He was sure of it. Almost sure of it. He’d been sure of it when he signed the contract. Lately, he didn’t feel sure of anything, and he fucking hated it.

  He headed for his office, hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers, lost in thought until he almost slammed headfirst into Colin, who was coming toward him from the direction of the kitchen.

  “Sorry, sir,” the butler said, stepping off to the side.

  “Colin, do you think my grandfather would have objected to me selling the castle?” He had no idea where the words came from, was just as surprised by them as Colin seemed to be.

  “I think he would have supported your decision, whatever it was,” Colin answered carefully.

  “He would have,” Theo agreed, “but he also would have made sure I knew about it if he thought I was making a mistake.” Alistair had never kept quiet when he felt strongly about something, one of many things that had set him apart from the rest of the family.

  “Sir, may I show you something?” Colin asked, his tone hesitant.

  “Of course.”

  Colin led him down the hall to the theater. “There was a video created about thirty years ago, on what would have been Master Alistair and Lady Rose’s twentieth anniversary. It was converted to digital format a few years back. I’m sure you’ve seen it.”

  “I have.” He remembered it vaguely, a collection of photos and video clips of his grandparents, their wedding, his father’s birth, their vow renewal in the gardens.

  “Well, maybe you should see it again. In fact, I thought you might want to show it at the ball next weekend, a bit of history, don’t you think?”

  “Perhaps,” Theo agreed.

  Colin pulled a DVD from the cabinet along the wall and walked to the projector. A black-and-white movie began to play, and Theo immediately recognized the young faces of Alistair and Rose. His grandmother wore a long, flowing dress, her wavy hair pulled back from her face. She was laughing, holding on to Alistair’s arm as he whispered in her ear. Her laugh was infectious. It brought a smile to Theo’s face as an image of Elle flitted through his mind.

  “You told me once that Elle reminded you of my grandmother,” he said.

  Colin nodded. “Very much, sir. I see it more and more each day. Not so much in appearance, but in personality. And of course, the piano.”

  “Right.” Theo watched the clips on the screen before him. It had been set to music, still frames and moments from their lives. Rose’s energy and enthusiasm were palpable, as was her love for Alistair, and his for her. Theo wasn’t a romantic, but he could see the love in their eyes when they looked at each other, the way their hands lingered together when they walked.

  “When I see you and Miss Davenport together, I’m reminded strongly of the way it was between them,” Colin said.

  Theo watched as Alistair drew Rose in for a kiss. That was what love looked like. But what did it feel like? Elle had told him she loved him. He was starting to suspect that the restless, panicked feeling that gripped his chest every time he thought about leaving meant he loved her too.

  But was there any way for him to reconcile his feelings for Elle with his obligations to his family? He turned away from the screen. “Show this to Elle. I have a feeling she’ll want to find a way to use it at the ball.”

  “Just let me see it.” Elle tried to keep the exasperation out of her tone as she tapped her fingers against her thighs, waiting for Ruby to come out of the dressing room.

  “It’s too fancy. I just want to get that black dress I tried on first,” Ruby said from behind the curtain, a hint of petulance in her tone.

  “Not until you let me see the purple one,” Elle insisted, because Theo had told them to go all out, and her friend deserved a little color in her life. Naturally, Ruby had immediately decided on a simple black dress that looked good on her, but Elle wanted her to have something that looked great, a dress that would knock the knees out from under any single men in attendance on Saturday.

  With a huff, Ruby pulled the curtain back, wearing the dress Elle had picked out for her. It was a floor-length rich purple satin gown, fitted through the bust, with a flared skirt, and it was absolutely stunning on her.

  “Oh, Ruby.” Elle pressed a hand to her mouth. “It’s gorgeous. It’s perfect. You have to get it.”

  “It’s expensive, and it’s just not me,” Ruby said, eyeing herself in the mirror.

  “Theo told us to splurge a little, and when else are we going to get the chance to dress up and attend a charity ball in a castle? The dress is gorgeous, and I think it suits you perfectly.”

  “Well, maybe.” Ruby twirled the skirt in front of the mirror. “But only if you get something just as fancy…or fancier.”

  “I have no problem with fancy,” Elle told her with a sly smile. On the contrary, she was elated at the chance to dress up, even if it meant the end of her time at Rosemont Castle. She was determined to go out in style. Unfortunately, she hadn’t found a dress yet that she loved.

  “I don’t know.” Ruby flattened her lips, staring at her reflection.

  “How about we keep looking and give you a chance to think about it?” Elle suggested, not wanting to pressure Ruby into buying a dress she wasn’t comfortable with but determined to keep their shopping momentum going.

  With a nod, Ruby disappeared into the dressing room. This was the second store they’d visited, and there was one more here in Towering Pin
es’s downtown area that they wanted to check out before venturing farther from home. Hopefully they wouldn’t have to, because they had plenty to do at the castle this week to get ready for the event.

  Theo had left for London this morning, and she already missed him like crazy.

  “I wish Megan were here with us,” Ruby said as they entered the next store.

  “Me too.” Elle was trying not to dwell on how much she missed Megan’s presence or how much she would have enjoyed this shopping trip and the ball itself. “But she’d want us to have fun and buy extravagant dresses, so we can’t let her down.”

  Ruby rolled her eyes theatrically. The bruises and scratches on her face from the airbag had faded to the point where Elle could only see them if she specifically looked. With any luck, by Saturday, they’d be gone completely.

  “Maybe we can buy her something today too and mail it to her?” Elle suggested.

  Ruby smiled. “I think that’s a great idea.”

  They perused the racks of dresses together, assisted by an overly helpful salesgirl who kept bringing them dresses to consider that weren’t really either of their styles.

  “Oh, Elle, look at this one,” Ruby said suddenly, spinning with a champagne-colored dress in her arms. “You have to try it on.”

  Elle looked at the dress and felt a bit like Ruby had in the last store. Immediately, visions of herself spinning around the ballroom in Theo’s arms started dancing through her head. “It’s gorgeous, but it’s so…formal.”

  “Theo told us to splurge,” Ruby parroted her words back at her. “Go on, try it.”

  “Okay, fine. But let’s find something for you to try too.”

  They settled on a navy blue dress for Ruby that the salesgirl had been lugging around, hoping one of them would be interested in. In the dressing room, Elle stepped into the dress, contorting her arms to get the zipper all the way up her back.

  She looked at herself in the mirror, and her heart kicked up a notch. The dress was strapless, form-fitting to mid-thigh in a pale gold material covered with glittering rhinestones before flowing to her ankles in breezy chiffon. And okay, she couldn’t help remembering the cheap theme park costume she’d worn as Princess Ariana, the one she’d been wearing when she got the call that they’d won the Almost Royal contest. It was a far cry from this dress, and maybe the reason she deserved to splurge on it, to wear something this lovely before she left the castle.