by Bec Botefuhr
Shenodsandleavestheroom.Istareatthehangingsuitandfeelmy hearttwist.IamgoingtoSierra’suniversitytonight.IamgoingandI knowshe’lllikelybethere.She’spartofthestudentcouncilandmostof themhavetoattend.Ihavetriedtospeakwithherforfivedaysnow,with noluck.She’savoidingme.Ican’tblameher.Whywouldn’tshe?I fuckedup.Istandandwalkovertothesuit,runningmyfingersoverit.
DoIhaveanychancewithhertonight?Anyatall?Willshetalktome?
Atleastgivemeachancetoexplain?Thelastfewdaysofmylifehave beenhell.Iamthemeaningofthesaying‘youdon’tknowwhatyou’ve gotuntilit’sgone’I’veneverwantedanythinginmylifeasmuchasI wanther,andknowingIcouldhave,quitepossibly,lostherforever,does fuckedupthingstomyheart.
“Marcus,thereyouare.”
IstiffenatthesoundofChayne’svoicecomingthroughmydoor.I turnandfacethewomanIonceloved,butnowdespise.
“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere,Chayne?”
“YouknowwhyI’mhere.Ilivehere.”
“Itoldyoutostayawayfromme.”
Shesmilesandwalksin.Thewomanreallydoesn’tknowwhento stop.Iputahandup,stoppingherfromcominginfurther.
“Ithoughtyoumightneedadatefortonight?”
“Haveyouforgottenyourmeds,Chayne?”Isnap.
Shefrownsandcrossesherarms.“Iamstillyourfiancé,Marcus.As farastheworldknows,atleast.Itwilllookbadforyoutogoalone.”
“I’vegonetomanythingsalone,don’tpretendtocarenow.Weboth knowyouwanttocomebecauseyou’reworriedIwillseeSierra.”
“Icouldn’tcarelessaboutthatlittlebrat,shewouldn’tdarecome betweenmylifeandme.”
“Isthatathreat?”Igrowl.
“No,it’sapromise.Don’tputherinmyway,Marcus.Ifyouleave meforherandIfindoutaboutit,you’llwishtogoditneverhappened.”
“Wouldn’tdreamofit,”Igrateout,glaringather.
EvenifIgotwithSierra,Iwouldnevertellher.NotuntilIgotridof herofficiallyandknewshecouldn’ttouchanythingthatismine.That includesmygirl.
“Youwouldn’twantto.Icanmakeherlifealivinghell,Marcus.
Youknowit.”
“Believeme,woman.Iknowit.”
“Don’tcallmewoman,showsomerespect.”
“Leavemyoffice,Chayne,I’mnotinthemood.”
“Youarewalkingafineline,MarcusHarrison.”
“Yeah,backatyou.”
Shehuffsatmeandthenturns,headingtowardsthedoor.Whenshe reachesit,sheturnsandgrowls,“Markmywords,Marcus.Iwilltakeher downifshegetsinmyway.”
Thenshe’sgone.Igrowlandslammyfistagainstmythigh.Onmost women,thatwouldbenomorethanathreat,butwithChayne,Iknowit’s adamnpromise.Fuck.WhatamIgoingtodoaboutthis?
~*~*~*~*
SIERRA
“OhSierra,youlookstunning,”Rainebreathes,pinningthelast strandofhairtothetopofmyhead.
Istareatmyselfinthemirror.Ihaven’tseenmyselflooksonicefor alittlewhilenow.Myreddressistightatthetop,withacorsettype bodice.Itflaresoutatthehipsandstopsjustabovemyknees.Mysilver heelsandsparklysilverclutchmatchitperfectly.Rainedidmymakeup, makingsuretoleavemeasnaturallookingaspossible.Shedidan amazingjob.Smokyeyes,lightredlipstickandmascara.Ireachupto fingerthesilverdiamondnecklacearoundmyneck.
“Thankyou,Raine,Idon’tdeserveit,butthankyou.”
Shespinsmearoundandfiddleswithmyhairatthefront.She’sdone itinanupstyle,looselysetatopmyheadwithlittlediamondclips holdingittogether.Littlebitsofhairdropdownthesidesofmyface, givingmeaverycasualbutelegantlook.
“I’msorry,Sierra,forthewayIbehaved.Ididn’trealizehowmuch youcaredaboutMarcus.IfIdid,Iwouldn’thavebeensoquicktojudge.”
Isigh.“Itwasn’tyourfault,youwereright.Iwasplayingwithfire.”
“Itwasn’tmyplace,you’reabiggirlnow.”
Ismileandpullherclose,wrappingmyarmsaroundher.“Thank you,Raine.”
“Ah,don’tmessthemakeup,”shegiggles,huggingmetightlybefore lettingmego.
“Knockthemdead,honey.Iknowyoucan.”
Ibeamatherandhugheroncemorebeforeclutchingmypurseto mychestandwalkingout.Thedinnerisatthecampusfunctionroom,so wecanwalk.Quinnmeetsmeathisdoor,dressedinatux.Helooks gorgeous.Hetakesmyhand,pressinghislipsagainstmyskin.“Youlook gorgeous.”
Igrin.“Youlookallrightyourself,hotstuff.”
“Ahah,thatname’sreserved.Now,let’sgetthisoverwith.”
IhookmyarmthroughQuinn’sandweleavethedormsandwalk throughthegardensuntilwereachthelargehall.Icanhearthemusic inside,it’spoundingoutthroughthedoorsandintothegarden.Ihesitate whenwegettothefrontdoor,deckedoutwithlittlefairylightsthatmake mefeelasthoughI’mbackatseniorprom.Quinntugsmyarmandpulls meinside.Istarearoundthelarge,openroom.Ithasastageupfront,a smallspacehasbeenleftforadancefloorandtherestistakenupwith roundtablesandchairs.Fancylightshangfromtheceilingsandpeople arescatteredabouteverywhere,alldressedtoperfectionandchatting awayhappily.Mychestclenches,butIturntoQuinn.
“Looksgoodinhere.”
“Headsup,thepartyisjustabouttostart.”
IturntoQuinn,confused.“Huh?”
“Yourmanjustspottedyou.”
Ifeelmyspinestiffen.Marcusisherealready?Idon’tevengetfive minutestopreparemyself?Iswallowandmygazedartsdesperatelyover Quinn’sface.Hereachesout,takingmyhand.“It’sok,youcandothis.”
“Ican’t,Ireallycan’t,”Ipanic,headingtowardsthedoor.
“Youcan,andyouwill.Goodnews,Ican’tseethefiancé.Badnews, he’scomingover.”
“Ineedthebathroom,”Istammer,feelingmyhearttakealeaptomy throat.
“Sierra,”Quinnsays,butI’moffbeforehecanholdmeback.
IhurrythroughthecrowdandwhenIreachthebathroom,Iquickly duckinside.Ipressmybacktothecooltiledwallandfocusonmy breathing.It’sok,youcandothis,youhavetodothis.Stopworrying aboutMarcusandjustfacehim,getitoverwithandmoveon.Ihurry towardsthesinkandstareatmyselfinthemirror,Ican’tevensplashmy facewithoutrunningmymakeup.Iclosemyeyes,gatheringmyself.I hearthedooropen,andIseeagroupofgirlscomingin.Magic.Ismile quicklyatthem,thenturnandpushmywaybackoutthedoor.Ican’t haveabreakdowninthebathroom,it’sso…typical.
Iturnleft,insteadofgoingbacktowardstheparty.Iduckintoa nearbystorageroom,itisfullofspeakers,cords,andgymequipmentthat isusedwhenthehallisn’tbeingdeckedoutforfunctions.Iwalkin furtherandamabouttoclosethedoorbehindmewhenIhearthatsilky smoothvoicethatoncegotmybloodtoboilandmybodytocomealive inwaysIdidn’twanttoadmit.Thesadthingis,itstilldoesandIhate that.Ihatethathestillaffectsme,eventhoughI’mhurting.Idon’twant toturnaround,soforthemoment,Idon’t.Ijuststandthere,feelingthe skinonmybackprickleatthesoundofhissexyvoice.
“Runningfromme,Sierra?”
Iclosemyeyesandletoutalong,loudsigh.Turnaround,Sierra,you chicken.Withanotherdeepbreath,IturnandseeMarcusstandingatthe door,lookingdivineasalways.Hisperfectlyfittingsuitdoeswonderful thingstohislarge,muscledframe.Hisdarkbrownhairiswavyaround hisfaceandhisbrowneyesboreintomineasheletshisgazeslideslowly overmybody,beforefinallyreachingmyeyesandrestingonthem.I swallowandpressmyhandagainstthewalltosteadymyself.Marcus walksinandshutsthedoorbehindhim,the
nhishandreachesouttoflick thelighton.Whenwe’rebothinclearview,Ican’thelpbutletmyeyes linger.He’ssobreathtakinglybeautiful.Everygoddamnedpartofhimis perfect.
“No,Iwasjust…Igotlost,”Ifinallymanage,toanswerhisquestion.
Hislipscurlslowly.“Yougotlostinaschoolyou’vebeeninforhow long?”
Yeah,allrightsmartass.
“Ok,Iwasrunning,isthatwhatyouwanttohear?”Isnap,crossing myarmsovermychest.Ifeelsoexposedunderhisgaze.
Hestepscloser,likeapredatorstalkinghisprey.“YouknowIdon’t likeitwhenyourun.”
Iglareathim,ofcoursehehastobringuphisdominantsideright now.“Don’tstartyourdominantbullshitwithme,Marcus.I’mnot interestedinhearingit.”
“Arewereallygoingtodothis,Sierra?Yellandscreamateach other?”
“Whatdoyouwantmetodo?Justforgiveyou?Justgetoverit?You liedtome,Marcus,andyouchoseyourfiancéoverme.”
HestepsevencloserandIbackupagainstthewall.“That’swhere you’rewrong,Sierra.Youmadethechoice.Youwalkedoutthedoor.I didn’tchooseanyone,Ididn’tendthings,thatwasyou.SoIbelieveitis youwhostartedthisdistancebetweenus,notme.”
Damnmanhasapoint.Ididtellhimitwasoverandrunout,but that’sonlybecauseheliedtomeandhurtme.Ihadeveryright.Didn’tI?
“Youlied,youhiredmejusttomakemeintoyourlittleproject.”I whisper,staringathischestinsteadofhiseyes.
“That’sbullshitandyouknowit,”hegrowls.“Thatisnottheonly reasonIhiredyou.”
“Ohreally?Whatwerethereasons,Marcus?Andsavethe‘you’reso smart,youhavegoodgrades’junk.”
Hisliptwitches.“Formyprofessional,sweet,girltousethework junk,shemustbeangry.”
“Canwegettothepoint?”Isnap.
“Andwhatpointisthat?”hepurrs,pressinghishandtothewall besidemyheadandbringinghisbodyclose.Fuck,Iwishhewouldmove back.Hesmellssodamnedgoodwhenhe’sthisclose.
“IknowChayneisstillthere.”
“Whatwouldyouhavemedo,throwheroutandstartawar?”
“See,thisiswhatImean.Youdon’twanttohurther,butshe continuallyhurtsyou.You’replayingwithme,Marcus,youneverreally wantedme.Younever…”
Hecutsmeoffwithabarkofwordsthatcomesoloudlyandharshly, thatIflinch.“Don’tyoutellmewhatIfeel,Sierra.IknowwhatIwanted, IknowwhatIwantstill.Iwantedyou,Istillwantyou.Ican’tjustthrow Chayneoutbecauseshehasdonewrong,youandIbothknowthatwon’t work.It’snotasituationIcangetoutofeasily.”
“Yourefusedtoleaveherinfearofhurtingher,Marcus,eventhough she’sawfultoyou.Ican’tbeexpectedtocomesecondtothat.Itwasa mistake,whatwedid,whatwe…”
Hegripsthebackofmyneck,bringingmyfaceclosertohis.“It wasn’tafuckingmistakeforme.Itwaseverythingtome.Youranfrom me,youdidn’tgivemeachancetoexplainandyou’veignoredmycalls fordays.IkickedChayneoutofmysuite,Ikickedheroutandhavetold herwe’retakingabreak.ThereasonIhaven’tgottenridofher completelyisbecauseI’mtryingtofindproof.YouandIbothknowI can’tjustthrowheroutonthestreetwithouthertakingeverythingIhave workedfor.Soyes,fornowIamkeepingherarounduntilIcansortout whatitisIneedtodo.IhavetoprotectmyselfandwhatIcareabout.The bityoumissed,inallyourdramaticbullshit,isthatwhatIcareaboutis notjustmyjob,butit’syou.I’lldowhateverittakes.Ifyouanswered yourdamnedphone,youwouldknowthat.”
Ifeelmyheartthudagainstmychestashiswordssinkin.Hewants me?He’sgoingtoleaveChayne?He.Wants.Me?
“You…youwantme?”Iwhisper.
“Howcouldyouevenaskthat?”hemurmurs,leaningsocloseIcan smellhisdivinebreath.
“Ithought…yousaid…”
“IwastryingtoprotectherbecauseIthoughtmaybetherewassome goodleftinher,butnowIseethereisn’t.Theminuteyouranoutthe door,IrealizedthemistakeIhadmade.Idon’twanttohurther,andI won’tleaveherwithnothing,butIwantoutofthiswithoutlosing everythingIhave.SoI’lldowhatIhaveto,tomakesurethathappens.”
“Youcouldgetridofherbyshowingproofofhercheating,butyou won’tdothat.”
“Idon’twantthistogetmessy,Sierra,I’mtryingtodotheright thing.Can’tyouunderstandthat?”
“Idounderstand,butatthesametimeIreallydon’tknowwhyyou wouldtrytodoanythingtherightwaybyherafterwhatshedid.”
“Look,ifitcomesdowntoitIwilldowhatIhavetodobutforright now,I’mtryingtomakethisassmoothaspossible.Notjustformebut foryoutoo,Sierra.Canyoujusttrustme,foramoment,andunderstand I’mdoingwhat’sbest?”
“Andus?”Iwhisper.
“Iwantyou,Sierra.Idon’tcareabouttherest.Youshouldhave neverrunfromme,youshouldhaveansweredyourphone,becauseifyou did,youwouldknowmychoicebynowandyouwouldhavesavedus boththeheartache.You’rewhatIwant,andit’syouIwantbymyside, nother.Sweetheart,youshouldknowthat.”
BeforeIcananswer,hislipscloseovermine.Withadeep,long groan,Iwrapmyarmsaroundhisneckandpressmybodytohis.I’ve missedhim,godI’vemissedhim.Hegripsmyneckanduseshisother handtopushatmylowerbacksohiscockisridingagainstmystomach, showingmejusthowmuchhewantsme.Histongueslidesintomy mouth,tauntingandteasing,whilehishandslidesupanddownmyback.
Myclittightens,desperateforhistouch.Ineedhistouch,sowhenhe pullsaway,allIcandoiswhimperhelplessly.
“Youranfromme,”hesays,flickingmybottomlip.“Youdidn’t thinkyouwouldjustgetawaywiththat,didyou?”
Ibitemylipandstareathis.Big,full,andwetfromourkiss.Iwant them.Iwantthemonmybody.Iwantthemonmypussy.Iwantthem insideme,aroundme,onme.Marcusgripsmychin,forcingmetomeet hiseyes.Hisbrowngazesearchesmyfaceamoment.“HowwillIpunish you,sweetgirl?”hemurmurs.
“Don’tmakemewait,”Iwhimper,grippinghisshirt.“Please.”
“Letmethinkaboutit,andwe’llseewhatIthinkoftopunishyoufor runningoffwiththatlittlehottemperofyours.”
Ibitemylipagain.
“Stopbitingyourlip,Sierra,orI’llhaveyouonyourknees,with themaroundmycockinseconds.”
“Maybethat’swhatIwant.”
Hegrowlsandit’salow,deepsound.Hetakesastepback,andhis fierygazeturnstome.
“You’remine,doyouunderstand?Beforeweleavethisroom,Iwant usbothtounderstandsomething.Oncewestepoutthisdoor,youbelong tome.Thinklongandhardaboutthat,Sierra,becauseonceyou’remineI won’tletyougoagain.Iwillcherishyou,loveyou,fuckyouand pleasureyou,butIwon’tshareyou.Isthiswhatyouwant?”
ImeethisgazeandIknowinthatmoment,it’sexactlywhatIwant.
MarcushasalifeIwasfrightenedofandthoughtIcouldn’tlivewith, untilIwasforcedtolivewithouthim.Idon’twanttodothatagain.I steppedintothiswithhim,I’llstepoutofitwithhim.Heawakens somethingdeepinsidemethatIcan’tfindwithanyoneelse.Iwon’tgive itupforanyoneoranything.We’lldealwithChaynetogetherandI’ll stepintohisworldbesidehim,becausehe’sexactlywhatIwant.
“Itis.”
Hestepsforward.“YouknowwhatIam,Sierra.Iamadominant.I don’tliketoshare.Idon’tlikepeopletouchingwhat’smine.Ifyou’re withme,youneedtoacceptthat.”
“Ican,butitgoesbothways.”
Hestrokesafingerovermycheek.“I’monlyyours,Sierra.I’vebeen onlyyourssincethedayIlaideyesonyou.”
“AndChayne?”
; “We’llsortitouttogether,butuntilthen,wecan’tbepublic.”
“Iunderstand,”Iwhisper.
“Now,gobackoutandenjoythatparty.I’llhavealimoreadytopick usupateightsharp.Ihopeyou’reready,sweetgirl,becauseI’mgoingto makeyouwishyouneverranfromme.”
Theheatinhisgazefrightensmealmostasmuchasthethreatinhis voice.
“Youwon’thurtme,willyou?”Iwhisper.
Hestepsforward,cuppingmycheekinhishand.“HaveIeverhurt you?”
Ishakemyhead,swallowing.“No.”
“Thenyoualreadyhaveyouranswer.Now,shallwe?”
Ihookmyarmthroughhisandinasmallvoice,Iwhisper.“We shall.”
CHAPTER3
SIERRA
“Whathappened?”QuinnaskswhenMarcusandIwalkoutandhe goesbacktohisgroup,butnotbeforegivingmeaheatedlook.
“We…ummm…”
“Ohmygod,didyoufuckhiminthestorageroom?”Quinngasps.
Iletoutanervous,loudgigglethathassomepeopleturning.Marcus turnshiseyesmywayandgivesmeadevastatingsmile.
“No,”Iwhisper.“Wetalkedand…Ithink…Ithinkwegotback together.”
“Youthink?”Quinnsays,hismouthclosetomyear,sonooneelse canhear.
“Yeah,Ithink.HetoldmeI’mhisandthathedoesn’tliketoshare.
Hetoldmehe’saskedChaynetoleaveandhe’sgatheringprooftomake surethingsdon’tgosourforhimandthenhetoldmeheneverleftme, thatitwasmewholefthim,beforeheevenhadachancetotellmehis choicewasmade.”
“Awsee,youjumpedaheadofyourself.”
“Yeah,anyway,wearekeepingitunderwrapsfornow.IfChayne findsoutwe’restillseeingeachother,itcouldmaketheprocessharder.”
“Mylipsaresealed.”
“I’mgoingwithhimtonight,hewantstoseeme.”
Quinnwaggleshiseyebrows.“Oh?”
“DoyouthinkI’mjumpingbackintoofast?”Isay,feelingmychest growheavy.
“Onlyyouknowthatanswer,Sierra.Onlyyouknowifyoucandeal withthenextfewmonths,becausetheywon’tbeeasywithChayne.If youcandealwithit,thenno,Idon’tthinkyou’removingtoofast.I’ve seenyouinthepastfewdays,andI’veseenhowyou’vebeenwithout him.”