What They Call Sin

by Philippa Grey-Gerou

  The cab turned up Madison and then onto Fifty-third before finally slowing down to pull up to the curb. Michael paid the driver, then helped Lindy out of the car. She looked where they were for the first time and whirled on him in surprise. “But this is where we first..."

  "Met?” He smirked his sexiest, most suggestive smirk.

  And it was. It seemed like a lifetime ago when they'd been here. Everything had changed, she had changed so much that this should be different somehow as well. But aside from the baskets of fuchsia hanging from the blue awning and the late lunch crowd overflowing the patio to enjoy the summer weather, the café was exactly the same.

  She felt a twinge of trepidation.

  He squeezed her hand with a smile. “Go on in."

  She gripped his hand more tightly. “What about you?"

  "I'll be along, don't you fret.” He pulled her close and kissed her forehead gently. “Got somethin’ to take care of, but I'll just be a tic. Now go.” He gave her a gentle shove.

  He stood on the curb, his hands in his pockets, a knowing smile on his face, as she went into the restaurant. She knew this because she glanced back at him every two steps. She didn't know why she was so nervous. But somehow this had more of the makings of a guilt trip than a nostalgia trip.

  "Lindy!"

  Her head snapped around at the sound of a familiar voice.

  Jade had risen up from her seat to wave Lindy over to the table where she, Cara, Dan and Timothy were all gathered.

  Lindy glanced back over her shoulder, but Michael was gone. Bemused, she crossed over to her friends.

  Jade caught her up in a hug. “Congratulations, Lindy. The show was such a hit! You must be thrilled."

  "Well, um, I...” She let her confusion show. “What are you guys doing here?"

  Jade seemed puzzled as well. “Diana called and asked us to meet you here for a celebration lunch. Didn't you know?"

  Lindy shook her head.

  "Oh.” Jade's brow scrunched up for a moment before she smiled brilliantly again. “Well, surprise! Come on, sit down and order so we can give you your present.” And she guided Lindy down into one of the chairs.

  She ordered, scanning the room, but there was no sign of Michael. Where was he?

  Jade and Cara distracted her by putting a wrapped package in her hands. “You guys shouldn't have."

  "Of course we shouldn't,” Cara agreed. “So you should be grateful instead of falsely humble. Now open it and tell us how much you like it.” She smiled brightly.

  Timothy put his arm around his wife. “She's starting in the diplomatic corps next week,” he said with an amused but long-suffering sigh. “But she's got the right idea. Open up, Lindy."

  Lindy tore the paper off to reveal a leather-bound album. She opened it to the first page, and saw the invitation postcard, set into a starburst of carefully folded ornate paper. The page was labeled “First Opening, Yggdrasil, June 19.” The next pages were clippings of the ads from the various newspapers and magazines around town, and after that were photos from the show itself and a CD. “That's the whole collection on disc,” Jade explained. “They're in the order of the installation and all labeled, so you'll always have it."

  "Jade collected everything,” Cara interjected, “and I put it all together. It's important to document your career achievements."

  "And you haven't seen the best part.” Jade turned the page again to reveal three newspaper clippings, all dated from Saturday and Sunday. “Your first reviews."

  She had been so lost in her reunion with Michael, she had forgotten about the art critics who had come to the gallery that night.

  "You haven't read them yet?” Cara deduced.

  Lindy shook her head, her mouth dry.

  "Here, let me.” She took the book from Lindy's hands. “The Times one?” she asked, looking to Jade, who nodded enthusiastically. Cara cleared her throat. “In this age of cynicism and postmodern abstraction, romantic, whimsical art seems to be out of place. But a new artist has managed to capture the joy of modern life in a fantastical setting in a way that is neither quaint nor affected. Lindy James views the world through a lens of fantasy, but not to the trite expressions of the dragons and unicorns crowd. Instead she is able to express deep, powerful emotion through color and imagination. Her self portraits especially are passionate expressions of pain, loss, identity and rebirth that the viewer cannot help but be moved by."

  Cara kept reading, but Lindy didn't hear any more. She'd done it. She'd cracked it first try. A glowing review in the Times, for this couldn't be described as anything else, meant instant recognition in the art community. She would never be another Manet or Pollock, but she could make a career of her art now, the way she used to imagine she would. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt something give, release in her heart. She felt like her feet had been planted back on her path after having gone astray for so long.

  Jade seemed to see the emotions overcoming her and leaned over to hug her again. “You deserve it."

  Lindy laughed, wiping her eyes delicately.

  That's when she saw him.

  Michael sat, two tables away, leaning back in his chair to watch her pointedly, his long fingers toying with the silverware. She blushed and looked away as their food came. She dared a glance again when the server left, to see him still sitting there, still watching, his eyes warm and sexy and concerned.

  And now she knew what he was doing. He was recreating their first encounter. Would he want her to slip away to meet him in the bathroom again? A part of her was embarrassed at the thought, but everything else in her screamed her willingness to do just that.

  But he gave her no sign, just watched her.

  "What are you staring at?” Jade asked quietly.

  The other three glanced at her before following her gaze straight back to Michael. “Don't!” she gave a strangled cry, focusing all her attention on her salad.

  "I think that guy's checking you out, Lindy,” Timothy observed. “You want us menfolk to rough him up for you?"

  Dan cocked an eyebrow at him in amusement at the idea of either of them roughing anyone up.

  "No,” Lindy felt her blush flaming across even the tips of her ears. “No, it's fine. I just..."

  Michael rose up out of his chair gracefully and moved across the floor toward her, not swaggering, not stalking, but she felt every movement in her own body. He stopped next to her, not too close. “I'm sorry,” he said, soft but clearly, “I couldn't help admiring you. Do you mind if I join you and your friends?"

  She blushed again. “No, not at all.” She rose to move her chair over and make room for him. This wasn't how things had gone that day. What was he up to?

  "We've met, haven't we?” Jade asked.

  He smiled his power charm smile. “You have a good memory. We did meet, last fall. My name is Fitzwilliam...” he offered his hand, but she interrupted.

  "Rogue, right?"

  He smiled apologetically. “Michael. I'm not going by that nickname anymore."

  Lindy introduced him around methodically, her brain buzzing. He wasn't going by Rogue anymore? When had that happened? And what was he doing? Had he set this up just to meet her friends? They all seemed pleased to meet him, but Jade kept shooting her questioning looks while Cara studied him critically.

  The conversation started again, but with the new player, it became more of a question and answer session. Where are you from? What do you do? How do you know Lindy?

  "Oh!” Cara exclaimed suddenly, her mouth full of food. She waved a finger at him as she swallowed. “Now I know you! From the other night, remember? I knew I'd seen you somewhere before! You're Lindy's model, aren't you? I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

  "Cara!” Several horrified voices rang out, but Michael just chuckled.

  He and Dan fell into discussions about performer representation and Michael's new practice, but Lindy could feel Jade watching her as she ate. Finally, without looking up, she said quietly, �
�You know that lunch we need to have? To just talk about things?"

  Jade nodded.

  "Most of it has to do with Michael."

  "Are you two...” She didn't finish, just looked at Lindy meaningfully.

  Lindy shrugged and smiled a little.

  "We'll talk. I'm a married woman, I need someone to live through vicariously!"

  Michael seemed to be going out of his way to win over her friends. And as she watched him talk music with Dan and cars with Timothy, investment strategy with Cara and electronic freedoms with Jade, she realized that she had never let him into her life before. He had been so eager for her to meet his friends, his surrogate family, but she had never returned that to him. Not because of shame or guilt, but because she hadn't felt connected to even her closest friends. Gabriel had isolated her, denied her even the comfort of friendship. And now here was Michael, socializing with her friends simply because they were her friends. Once again showing her how different her life could be.

  She rested her hand on his leg and squeezed gently, trying to convey so much through one touch. He looked at her, smiling but questioning, and it was all she could do not to throw herself into his arms.

  When they finished eating, the servers cleared their plates and then, to almost everyone's surprise, brought out a tray with slices of rich chocolate cake for each of them.

  "I love the cakes in this place!” Cara exclaimed in a throaty voice.

  "Yeah,” Michael looked seductively at Lindy, dipping the tip of one finger into the frosting, “me, too.” And he subtly licked the icing away, drawing the barest tip of his finger into his mouth.

  Lindy was hard pressed not to moan aloud.

  She studiously ignored him as they ate, listening in on his conversations as she talked with Jade and Cara. She was deathly afraid he would attempt some kind of payback for her actions that first day.

  Lindy stuck her fork in for another bite of cake and was surprised when something in the cake made a click-thunk sound, sending her fork skewing sideways. She dug around a bit and pulled out a small, chocolate-crusted lump.

  "Problem, pet?” she heard close to her ear.

  "There's something in my cake."

  "Here, let me get that for you.” Michael caught the lump delicately between two fingers and popped it in his mouth. He rolled it around once or twice before holding it between his teeth so she could clearly see his tongue circle around it, cleaning off the cake to reveal a silver circle. Cara and Jade were staring as well as he deftly licked all the chocolate out of the inside of the circle before sucking it back in to repeat the process on the other side. She could almost hear her girlfriends imagining what else he could do with that tongue.

  Lindy didn't have to imagine. She had firsthand knowledge.

  And nearly came on the spot.

  Finally he pushed it out of his mouth and held it up between his fingers. “Hmm,” he said, turning it back and forth. “Looks like a ring."

  And he offered it to her.

  She hesitated before taking it from him. It was indeed a ring, platinum with an antique bezel holding a single small diamond.

  Her heart pounding, she looked up at him in surprise, saw the hope shining there, and panicked.

  "Uh, I...” She pushed back away from the table. “I've got to ... excuse me.” And she pelted away from the table, well aware of the eyes of all her friends on her and Michael's fallen expression.

  She locked the bathroom door behind her and leaned against it, the coolness of the overly air conditioned room raising gooseflesh on her heated skin.

  He couldn't be asking her this. Not now. She just ... she was just starting to get her life back together. Did he really want her to hand that all over to him before she had a chance to enjoy it? And after everything that had happened between them, did he think she could trust him enough for marriage?

  She crossed to the sink and splashed water on her face, blotting it off gently with a towel before checking her makeup.

  And was transfixed by the reflection in the mirror.

  Gone was the passive, insecure creature this mirror had last shown. In her place Lindy saw a confident, independent, strong woman who worked for what she wanted and wasn't ashamed of her power.

  She saw the woman Michael had seen in her, all those months ago.

  What was she afraid of? He had breached the walls around her heart ages ago. And instead of invading, he'd laid down his arms and surrendered to her. She was the only one still armed in this struggle. She was the one with the power to hurt him. So what was she afraid of?

  There was a soft knock on the door.

  She didn't have to ask who was there. She knew.

  Was she willing to open the door to him?

  The knock came again. “Lindy?"

  She drew a deep breath and unlocked the door.

  He opened it and slipped in, closing it quietly behind him. He couldn't seem to bring himself to quite look at her. “Look, pet, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you in there. I just wanted you to know. I'll be whatever you want, Lindy. I'll be your lover or your friend, your bloody houseboy if you want, as long as I have a place in your life. But I wanted you to know what I want. I want to be your husband. I want to wake up every morning knowing you trust me to make you happy and go to sleep every night proud that I took care of you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. And I want to spend the rest of my life thanking you for it."

  "Michael,” she said softly, laying a hand on his arm.

  So he could clearly see her ring finger, bare now of all but the simple platinum engagement ring.

  He looked up at her in confusion.

  "You saw me before anyone else did,” she said softly. “Knew me in ways no one else ever had. I've become someone I can be proud of. Because you saw it in me. But I'm not finished yet. And I won't be. Not without you. I love you, Michael. I've loved you for the longest time. I was just too stupid to know it."

  He wiped a tear from her cheek, heedless of the ones flowing freely down his own. “Not stupid, love. Never stupid. Just a little lost is all.” He lifted her hand to place a gentle kiss directly on the ring. “So, is this a yes?"

  She smiled. “You'll have to wait a bit. Technically I'm still married until October."

  Still holding her hand, he drew her close. “But didn't you know October is the month of romance? It's when I fell in love with you.” When his lips met hers, they were soft and warm and wet with joyous tears, full of promises of love and happiness for the future.

  When it ended, she snuggled close under his chin, wrapping her arms around him. “And in the meantime?"

  "The details we work out later. The basics are that we live in hopeless sin together so I have something to make you an honest woman for."

  She looked up at him intently. “Nothing with you could ever be a sin."

  He kissed her again, and she lost herself in his passion.

  They were interrupted by a firm knock on the door.

  Startled, they broke apart, laughing when they remembered where they were.

  "What say we go out and shock all your friends,” he murmured in her ear, “and then go home and christen our engagement?"

  She looked into his eyes, a brilliant smile lighting her face. “Sounds like heaven."

  The End

  Philippa was born the eldest daughter of a Protestant minister in New England and was raised in various small towns throughout the Northeast and Midwest, where there was little to do but live in her imagination. She was a voracious reader, and started writing at an early age, settling on that as her life's work before higher education led her astray. After attending state and Ivy League universities to earn degrees in History, Anthropology and Folklife Studies, she settled in suburban Pennsylvania to start her own family. There she rediscovered her love of the written word, and has been writing ever since. She's been in love four times, had her heart broken twice, broke another's heart once, and is currently working on h
er happily ever after. Philippa.Grey-Gerou@lindenbayromance.com

  This is a publication of Linden Bay Romance

  www.lindenbayromance.com

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