Impossible Promise

by Sybil Bartel

“You’re wetter,” he said in a low, husky growl, moving through the spray to kiss me. Abruptly, he pulled back. “Take your shower,” he ordered.

  I dropped my legs, knowing what I wanted to do. What I’d never done. Staring at him, I reached for his belt buckle.

  But Buck stepped away.

  Confused, hurt, my hand froze midair.

  He grasped my chin. “What I want to do to you? It takes more than ten minutes. Understand?”

  Oh my God.

  Eyes boring into mine, Buck lowered his voice. “I’m not taking you up against a wall in a bathroom for our first time. For our first time? I’m going to make love to you, slow and deliberate. Next time you come, I’m going to be deep inside you.”

  The shiver ran up my spine, down my arms and hit me low in my stomach.

  “Take your shower.” His intense stare held mine. One heartbeat, two... Then he walked out of the bathroom.

  “Holy shit,” I whispered, panting.

  * * *

  I showered as quickly as possible then threw on clothes and flip flops. When I stepped out of the bathroom, Buck was waiting for me in dry clothes and his usual intense stare. His muscles straining his T-shirt, his height, his presence—he was so handsome, I was suddenly overcome with shyness. I reached for my bag to slip the dress and shoes inside but I didn’t say anything.

  Buck caught my hand. “Hey.”

  Averting my eyes, I shoved the dress in my bag. “Hi.”

  He stepped closer and pushed my wet hair off my shoulder. “You’re nervous. What’s going on?”

  I looked up into his concerned expression and heat hit my cheeks as I felt what we’d done in the bathroom all over again. “I’m shy.” And he was far too perceptive.

  Buck’s face was impassive then a slow smile spread. “I can work with that.” He leaned in to kiss me.

  “Hate to interrupt,” Talon drawled.

  I glanced at Talon. Face serious, he winked at me.

  “You ready, Deer Hunter?”

  “We’re ready.” Buck grabbed my bag and his duffel.

  Talon straightened. “We?”

  “That’s what I said.” Buck walked straight at Talon.

  Talon moved back slowly, eyeing Buck. He gave him just enough room to shoulder past. “Whatdaya gonna do? Throw a tank on her and drag her across the ocean floor?”

  Buck spun around. “I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do. I’m not going to let her get shot on the beach.”

  “You got somethin’ to say, say it,” Talon challenged.

  Buck took one step and got in Talon’s face. “You fucking touch her again, I’ll kill you.”

  Talon didn’t flinch but he did smile. “Point taken.”

  “Good,” Buck snapped.

  “Now tell me what you plan on doin’ with her.” Talon maintained his calm.

  “She can stay in the boat with Neil.”

  “And if we need him?” Talon countered.

  Buck glanced at me. “You know how to drive a boat at night?”

  Did I not mention I grew up in Miami? “Yep.” Where did he think teenagers hung out?

  Buck turned back to Talon. “Anything else?”

  “As long as you know what you’re doin’,” Talon said in warning.

  Buck’s answer was to walk past Talon. “Let’s go.” He walked out the door.

  * * *

  Buck drove through Gainesville, picked up the highway to Ocala then cut east through the Ocala forest. Talon had pulled out behind us as we left Gainesville but I hadn’t seen him since. Buck was silent and I ran through the gamut of thoughts and emotions. What was the plan? Why was Buck quiet? Was he okay with walking away from his mother’s house? Why weren’t we talking? Were he and Talon really going to end this with Miami? How would I react to that? Where were we going? I sighed.

  “We’re heading to the Keys,” Buck said quietly as if reading my mind.

  “The Keys?” Which Key? There were lots of Keys.

  “Key West. Miami has arranged to take a yacht out tonight and he’s requesting only one crew member. That means he’ll have company and he’ll be busy. We’re going to disable the boat.”

  Key West was a full day’s drive. And what did he mean disable? “That’s a long drive.”

  “We aren’t driving.”

  I remembered Buck’s earlier question. “It’s even farther by boat.” I liked being on the water, but I had my limits.

  “We’re flying.”

  Well, shit. “That’s an economical solution.”

  Buck didn’t respond.

  “You wouldn’t tell me details, even if I asked, would you?” And I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

  “To a point, yes, I’ll tell you. But details? The less you know the better.”

  “Don’t pull that alpha soldier bullshit with me. This is my life and I have a right to know what you’re doing and I get a say in it. You’re not going to make decisions for me.” I got more upset by second. I was being irrational but I was afraid. Afraid something would go wrong. Afraid Buck would get hurt. Afraid Talon or Neil would get hurt. I’d been reticent to say anything before this because, frankly, I was used to being manipulated and manhandled. But now? Now I was pissed.

  “Talon asked you,” Buck reminded me.

  “That doesn’t mean I gave him carte blanche to make decisions that impact my life.”

  Buck glanced sideways at me. “I’m making the decision on how this goes down.”

  “I get that!” I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air.

  “Then what exactly is your objection?”

  “I’m not objecting!” I couldn’t stop yelling. “I’m pissed! I’m pissed that you all think you know better than me, and I know I haven’t exactly handled things well. I get that, but shit. What if something goes wrong? What if one of you gets hurt?”

  Buck was quiet a moment then he took my hand. “I’m not going to get hurt,” he said gently. He brought my hand to his lips, kissed my fingers and my anger evaporated.

  “You can’t promise me that.” My heart couldn’t take it.

  “I just did,” he said simply.

  “Buck.” I exhaled, not knowing how to respond. He left me no room for argument.

  He squeezed my hand and dropped his voice to a gentle timber. “I’m not finished with you, Layna. I haven’t even started. I’m not going to let anything take that away from me. I’m coming back to you, tonight, tomorrow, after my next deployment. I’m coming back. I promise.”

  My throat constricted and I squeezed my eyes shut. “Don’t you dare break that promise.”

  “Never.” He squeezed my hand.

  My heart already weary, I asked how much time we had. “When do you report back to duty?” Work? War? Combat? I didn’t even know the proper terminology to use.

  “Day after tomorrow, I’m on a flight out of Gainesville. If you’d like, I can get you settled back at your parents’ place and fly out of Miami.”

  “Okay.” He didn’t seem worried about the cost of doing that so I wasn’t going to ask. I wanted to spend every second I could with him. “Where are you going?”

  “Afghanistan.”

  I dropped my face into my hands and sucked in air, trying to calm the instant panic that settled in my chest. I wouldn’t cry. If I couldn’t handle this, I didn’t deserve to be with Buck. Buck remained silent. I didn’t know if that meant this was a test or if he simply had nothing to say. I turned to the window, watching the scenery speed by. I knew every simple freedom I took for granted was because of men like Buck.

  “I’m not afraid to die,” Buck said into the quiet around us.

  I turned and looked at him, speechless.

  “I don’t want you afraid of me dying. I knew the risks when I enlisted. I made my choice. I’ve lost a lot of friends to war. There’s not a more honorable way to go. If that’s my destiny, I accept it, proudly. I need you to understand that.”

  Humbled, stunned, I barely nodded. “I under
stand.” But I didn’t want to think about it. Not ever.

  Buck gave a curt nod. “What am I leaving you to in Miami?”

  Twisted with anxiety, I didn’t understand his question. “What?”

  “What do you have there?” he said, as if that clarified it.

  “A house?”

  Buck took a breath as if trying to calm down but his words still came out clipped. “Do you have any support system in Miami, Layna? Friends? Relatives? Work?”

  “Um...no?” I’d been on my own for years, he knew that.

  “Fuck.”

  I quickly tried to backpedal. “I can get a job. I have a place to live, the mortgage is paid off. I don’t need much.” I shrugged. “This is what I know. I’ve been on my own for three years. It’s what I do.” I’d never had a choice. It’s lonely as hell, some days were worse than others, and some were downright unbearable. I had tequila, I had books, I had cable and now I had a fat foreign bank account. What could I say? It was what it was.

  “Do you want to stay in Daytona?” Buck ground out through clenched teeth.

  I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. “So you can kill everyone in Afghanistan just to get home sooner to see if Talon’s keeping his promise?”

  Buck glared at me.

  “I’m sorry.” I tried to wipe the smile off my face. “I’ll be good as long as Miami—” Instantly sobered, I couldn’t say it out loud. “I’ll be good.” After tonight anyway. At least I hoped so.

  “What will you do?”

  I hadn’t thought about it, but as soon as he’d asked, an idea popped into my head. It’d been an impossibility before now. “Go to college?” It came out sounding like a question.

  Buck nodded just as his cell phone rang. Glancing at the display, he put the phone to his ear. “What’s up?...No, I need to get the Infiniti to Miami Beach....Yeah, okay...hold on.” Buck looked at me. “What’s your address?”

  I rattled off the address and Buck repeated it into the phone.

  Buck glanced at me again. “Where can Kendall leave the key?”

  I thought a second. “Tell her to walk around to the back. There’s a sectional on the covered lanai, she can put the key under the cushions.” It was as good a place as any.

  Buck gave the directions to Talon and hung up.

  “Why are you having your car taken down south?” He could sell it, or store it.

  “So you have a car. I don’t need it,” he said casually, as if he gave away a new Infiniti every day.

  “I can’t take your car.” What if we didn’t work out? What if he got...? Jesus, I couldn’t even think it. “I can’t afford it,” I said lamely.

  Buck glanced at me sideways like I was crazy. “I’m not asking you to pay me,” he said patiently. “Think of it as a self-serving gift.”

  “Why?”

  “You’ll be able to pick me up at the airport next time I’m on leave.”

  Oh-kay, that shut me up. “You’re not bribing me are you?”

  A full-blown sexy smile lit up Buck’s face. “Do I need to?” he asked seductively.

  I melted in my seat. “Oh, that is so not fair.”

  “I know.” He winked.

  Cocky bastard. But I couldn’t be mad, he was so beautiful. I honestly didn’t know what I did to deserve him. “Why me?” I blurted out before I could censor myself.

  Buck pulled up to Talon’s. Using a remote, he opened the gate. “Why you what?” he asked, distracted.

  “You could have a million women, why me?” I knew it sounded childish and insecure but I wanted to know. The scales felt so incredibly tipped.

  “Because you’re a warrior,” he said simply.

  A warrior? I was the furthest thing from a warrior I could think of.

  Buck parked and watched me a moment. Then his finger traced a line from my temple to my chin. “Your exotic heritage is what attracted me at first, that and your underlying innocence. You’re beautiful, and when you smile?” He shook his head. “Then I found out what you were dealing with and despite everything you were fighting back. Not many people would’ve stuck it out this long. They would’ve thrown in the towel long ago. I admire that kind of strength.” His thumb ran across my bottom lip and his voice dropped. “It’s sexy.”

  It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me. “You make me feel special,” I whispered.

  “You make me feel,” he whispered back.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  The next hour was a whirlwind of activity. Buck turned in his rental, we stopped at Talon’s shop to drop off the Infiniti and Talon and Buck loaded a ton of dive equipment into Talon’s Challenger. Kendall watched us with her usual disdain. Before we left, Talon surprised me by kissing Kendall on the cheek and thanking her for watching the store. She blushed, hard, and Talon seemed not to notice but I did. I also noticed something else.

  “How come Kendall doesn’t have a nickname?” I asked when we got back in the car.

  Talon laughed. “She’d kick my ass.”

  “If only I’d known it was that easy,” I said dryly, but truth be told, I liked the nickname he’d given me.

  Buck smirked. “Translation, she’s the one woman he can’t talk into bed.”

  “Never mix business with pleasure, my friend.” Talon smiled.

  “Like that’s stopped you before.” Buck shook his head.

  “Aw c’mon! I have scruples!” Looking affronted, Talon’s hand went to his chest.

  Buck and I laughed.

  It was the only carefree moment of the day.

  * * *

  We drove back to Talon’s house and Talon and Buck assembled a small arsenal on the kitchen table. They silently went about cleaning and loading guns, checking gauges on the dive equipment, sheathing knives and packing everything meticulously into backpacks.

  Feeling useless and not knowing what to do with my nervous energy, I made sandwiches. Both men stepped away from their gear and inhaled the food in seconds. Their only conversation revolved around something to do with wires: battery cable wiring, bilge pump wiring and something about an instrument panel. Talon mentioned a quick and dirty fuel leak and Buck immediately dismissed it, sighting collateral damage and unnecessary attention. They argued a bit back and forth about wiring then Talon opened his laptop and showed something to Buck. They spoke some more and seemed to come to an agreement.

  It wasn’t a stretch to put together what they were planning. I knew I should’ve felt something—anger, justification, even remorse, but I felt nothing. I watched them as if I were completely removed from anything going on around me.

  Talon hefted his backpack and looked at Buck. “You sure?” He inclined his head at me.

  My stomach knotted at the thought of being left behind.

  Buck eyed Talon. “I’m not leaving her.”

  “Graham could be here in an hour.”

  Buck glared at him.

  Talon threw his hands up. “Alright, alright, you tell her what’s up?”

  “She knows enough.”

  I’d had enough. “I’m right here.”

  Talon chuckled. Buck leveled me with a stare then picked up his backpack. It suddenly occurred to me we weren’t flying commercial, not with all the weapons they’d packed.

  “Let’s go,” Buck said irritably, heading for the stairs.

  Talon draped an arm over my shoulders. “Up for a little ride, Sugar?” His eyes were bright with excitement.

  “Can’t wait,” I said dryly, visions of cigarette boats and Learjet planes filling my head.

  We piled into the Challenger and Talon drove a short distance down A1A and pulled into one of two parking spots by a private riverside dock that extended into the intracoastal. Two jet skies were on lifts at the far end of the dock and I mentally groaned.

  Buck and Talon unloaded the trunk then Buck handed me my meager overnight bag and shouldered his backpack. Picking up his duffel, he grabbed his dive gear and Talon glanced at his watch.


  “Right on time.” He winked at me.

  “Whose dock?” I glanced around. There were no houses this side of A1A, the land between the road and water was too narrow.

  “Mine.” Talon grinned.

  I should’ve known.

  We walked down the dock, Talon in the lead and Buck bringing up the rear. It was a calm day, but even the small swells on the water would be hell on the back of a jet ski, not to mention wet. How the hell were they going to keep their packs dry? Fuck, this sucked.

  Just then a distinct engine sound swooped low and skimmed across the water. I shielded my eyes against the sun and watched a seaplane glide down and taxi to the end of Talon’s dock. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  Talon grinned over his shoulder at me. “Amphibious travel, Sugar. Nothin’ like it.”

  The pilot stayed on board as Talon and Buck loaded the gear. Talon held on to the support under the wing and Buck lifted me onto the plane. I took the seat behind the pilot, Talon climbed in next to me and Buck sat next to the pilot.

  The pilot shook hands with Buck and Talon then glanced at me.

  “Roark, this is Deer Hunter’s woman, Layna.” Talon introduced us.

  I couldn’t see Roark’s eyes behind his aviators but he had dirty-blond hair and shoulders as wide as Buck’s.

  “Nice to meet you. Headset’s to your left.” Roark was all business.

  Roark taxied south down the intracoastal and before I thought we’d had enough speed for liftoff, we were in the air. The seaplane climbed steeply and my stomach plummeted. Talon’s hand found my knee and his voice came through the headset.

  “You good, Sugar?”

  Buck turned in his seat, took in Talon’s hand and scowled.

  “Need a barf bag?” Talon grinned mischievously.

  I refrained from saying fuck you only because two extra pairs of ears would hear. I shoved Talon’s hand away and he laughed. Air traffic came over the radio and Talon thankfully shut up while Roark said a bunch of numbers.

  “You know where we’re goin’?” Talon asked Roark.

  “Yeah, I spoke with Neil. He gave me the coordinates,” Roark said, distracted. Looking out his side window, he banked sharply east.

  I gripped the edge of my seat but Roark righted the plane once we were out over the Atlantic, then he glanced at Buck.