Idol

by Carrie Duffy

  ‘For fuck’s sake,’ roared Don exasperatedly. ‘Are we finished now, children? Can we get on with it?’

  Zac lifted his gaze and glared at Jenna, his dark brown eyes boring into her own. ‘I’m outta here,’ he announced, swinging his guitar strap over his head as Jenna threw up her hands in exasperation.

  ‘Zac?’ Don yelled pleadingly. He wondered what the hell had got into the guy. He was usually so pleasant and laid back, but since Little Miss Pop Sensation had turned up, he’d been foul-tempered and snappy, constantly catting with Jenna. What was it with those two, he wondered?

  Don sighed to himself. One thing he was sure of was that this track would bomb if the group couldn’t get on. If it could be done well, the music would be dynamite, no doubt about it. It was just a question of getting these kids to bond, and work together.

  ‘Zac, wait a second,’ he shouted, a note of appeasement in his voice. ‘What do you say we take a break for a while – order some food, then work through the night to get this thing nailed?’

  Zac hesitated for a moment.

  ‘Okay,’ he replied casually, pulling out his iPhone. ‘I’ll just call Amber, tell her I’m going to be late.’

  Don looked at Zac with relief, and a grudging respect. ‘Thanks,’ he commented.

  ‘No problem,’ said Zac with a shrug.

  An hour later, the group sat flaked out on the vast, welcoming sofas in the chill-out room adjoining the studio. The pungent smell of Nick’s spliff hung heavily in the air, and the table was littered with discarded takeaway boxes, crushed beer cans and empty bottles of champagne. The alcohol was flowing freely, but had only heightened the emotions that existed previously; Jenna and Nick were flirting like crazy, and Zac had sunk deeper into his dark mood. He sat on the floor with his back against the sofa, his taut, denim-clad legs stretched out across the carpet as he drank in silence.

  Don shot a quick glance at Jenna and Nick. Noting that they were both laughing loudly, engrossed in each other, he leaned forward to talk to Zac.

  ‘Work with me here, man,’ pleaded Don. ‘There’s a really strange vibe, and I can’t work out what’s going on with you guys. We need it all to come right,’ he continued, as Zac remained unresponsive, looking blankly ahead. ‘Is this going to work or not? Because I’ll tell you something for nothing – at the moment, this is looking like an extremely expensive disaster.’

  Zac didn’t say anything, but took a long drink of his beer.

  ‘I can’t work with her Don,’ he said finally.

  ‘I know she can be a little difficult,’ Don sympathized, ‘but surely you can cut her some slack?’

  ‘A little difficult?’ exploded Zac, struggling to keep his voice low. ‘She’s lazy, stubborn; she treats this whole thing as a game. She just won’t take anything seriously.’

  ‘Hey, she’s not that bad,’ Don laughed, surprised at the vehemence of Zac’s outburst.

  Zac raised an eyebrow.

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with having a good time,’ Don said gently. ‘This whole process is supposed to be enjoyable, you know, not some kind of endurance test.’

  ‘Don’t blame me,’ retorted Zac. ‘What are you saying? That if I’d lighten up a little then everything would be okay? That I’m the one causing the problem?’

  ‘Hey, calm down,’ said Ryan lightly. He moved across to sit closer to them. ‘That’s not what Don was saying. Yeah, we’re having a few problems, and we gotta work through them. But you can’t blame Jenna for not being Josh.’

  ‘I know that. It’s just …’ Zac paused, and his brow creased as he struggled to find the right way to explain himself. ‘I accept that Josh’s gone, and it’s not going to be the same. But it shouldn’t be this difficult to work with someone new. I get the feeling that with anyone else it would have been easier, whereas with her …’ Zac trailed off, and they all glanced across to see Jenna – whether by accident or design – rearrange her endless, tanned legs so that her deliberately demure knee-length skirt rode a little higher up her thighs, the clinging fabric wrapping tightly around her shapely butt.

  ‘I know what you mean,’ Ryan conceded, dragging his eyes away. ‘She’s probably not the easiest person to work with – and Nick doesn’t always help the situation. But sometimes I think you don’t give Jenna enough credit. She really wants this to work.’

  Zac made a noncommittal noise.

  ‘It’s got to be intimidating for her too,’ continued Ryan. ‘We’ve been with Josh for so long, then suddenly she has to step into his shoes and there’s no guarantee it’ll work. There’s no guarantee everyone will like her – us or the fans.’

  ‘She doesn’t look like the type of girl to be intimidated by anything,’ Zac muttered, darting a look across the room to where Jenna was giggling as she gulped down another mouthful of champagne.

  ‘Oh come on, Zac. She might act confident, but you can tell a lot of it’s just a front. I’m sure she’s nervous as hell really, so try and go easy on her, yeah?’

  ‘She just … gets under my skin,’ finished Zac lamely.

  ‘Yeah …’ nodded Don, looking thoughtfully at Zac.

  ‘Oh, that feels good!’ squealed Jenna from the other side of the room.

  They all looked across to see Jenna’s shoes discarded on the floor, her right foot in Nick’s lap where he was drunkenly attempting to massage it.

  ‘Ohhhhhh, right there,’ Jenna groaned, flexing her foot in pleasure and squeezing it against Nick’s thigh.

  Nick felt himself grow instantly hard and pressed his fingertips into the delicate skin of her foot, mesmerized at the way she was writhing around on the carpet, arching her back and moaning. Yeah, she’d look pretty damn good rolling around on a rug in front of a roaring fireplace, Nick thought to himself. Maybe he should buy a place in Aspen and fly her out there. He moved her foot to one side, gently opening her legs a little. If he could just get her legs a little wider, he’d be able to see right up her skirt, Nick realized. His cock was chafing against his pants so hard it hurt. Man, imagine if she wasn’t wearing panties – he’d be able to see her, ready and waiting for him. Imagine that – Jenna Jonsson lying in front of him wearing nothing but a thin scrap of fabric. He wondered if she was a natural blonde. Or maybe she was waxed, with just a little landing strip to guide him in. If they were alone, all he would have to do would be to walk over and yank up her skirt – take her right there over the sofa.

  Nick knew she wanted him, and the thought made him feel uncontrollably aroused. Maybe if the other guys were engrossed in their own conversation, no one would notice if he just moved a little closer and ran his hand along those soft, yielding thighs before slipping a finger inside of her. He’d stroke her ever so gently, and feel her get wetter and wetter, until she was begging him to give it to her. Or maybe she would touch herself and he would just watch …

  ‘What are you boys talking about?’ Jenna demanded to know, realizing that the others were heavily involved in conversation. She jumped up, pulling her foot from Nick’s hand and leaving him flushed and alone on the floor.

  ‘We were, er, discussing how the record’s coming,’ replied Don uncertainly.

  ‘Oh fantastic,’ gushed Jenna, as she picked her way across the room, stepping delicately over the discarded pizza boxes and making no attempt to pull down her skirt which had ridden up to show acres of toned, tanned thigh, kept a beautiful shade of honey brown thanks to her regular St Tropez treatments.

  ‘So how do you think it’s all coming along? I’m thrilled with the way it’s turning out – I’m having an amazing time working with you all,’ Jenna told them earnestly. The champagne had gone to her head, but she meant every word she said. Squeezing herself onto the sofa in between Zac and Don, she purred, ‘You’re all so incredibly talented.’

  Zac bit down hard on his lip. He’d told Ryan he’d try and go a little easier on her, but he wasn’t sure it was a promise he could keep. He swallowed, trying to prevent himself from saying something
he’d regret. He could feel the warmth of her body next to his, could smell the Chanel No. 5 that she had optimistically spritzed on that morning as part of her new image.

  Zac stood up suddenly, causing Jenna to lose her balance on the sofa. She burst into giggles as Don helped her upright.

  ‘I should get going,’ Zac announced, struggling to keep his temper. Everything Jenna did drove him crazy. ‘I told Amber I’d be back as soon as I could, and we’re obviously not going to get any more done here tonight.’

  ‘Maybe we could work on the track some more now?’ Jenna asked hopefully.

  ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

  ‘Why not?’ shot back Jenna, her eyes flashing dangerously as she began to get defensive.

  Zac paused and took a deep breath, remembering his vow not to get mad with her. ‘Well, look at Nick,’ he tried to joke. ‘He’s hardly in any fit state to play, is he?’

  Nick was laid out on the floor, his blue eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. ‘Are we done here?’ he asked, struggling to sit up. ‘You want a ride home, Jenna?’ He tried to focus on her face, but he could see two of her. He liked the idea of two of her.

  Jenna smiled. ‘Thanks for the offer, but I’ll just call my driver.’

  ‘It’s no trouble, really, it’s on my way,’ slurred Nick.

  A natural-born charmer, Nick was used to getting what he wanted. From girls to money to a place in one of the world’s biggest bands, life came easy to Nick.

  Zac forced a laugh, trying to make light of the situation. ‘You’re wasted, Nick – there’s no way you can drive, not even the few blocks over to Jenna’s. You’d be DUI’d the second you get behind the wheel.’

  ‘You live close by?’ asked Ryan, turning to Jenna. Jenna nodded, wondering how Zac knew. She was pretty sure she hadn’t mentioned it. ‘I can give you a ride if you want,’ Ryan continued.

  ‘Hey, I’m a proper Southern gent. I’ve gotta make sure the lady gets home safely,’ roared Nick.

  ‘She’ll be fine, Nick. Which is more than can be said for you,’ muttered Zac.

  ‘Would that be okay?’ Jenna asked Ryan uncertainly. ‘I hate to bother my driver so late, and if you’re sure it’s not out of your way …?’

  ‘Not a problem,’ Ryan replied generously. ‘I haven’t been drinking anyway, ’cos Kelly hates it when I come home trashed.’

  ‘Thanks,’ replied Jenna, giving him a broad smile that lit up her face.

  ‘Jenna, I will give you a ride home,’ declared Nick, attempting to get to his feet as he waved his arms expansively. ‘It is absolutely no problem for me – don’t listen to what these bastards are saying. Or we can just share a cab to my hotel,’ he added, with a wink.

  ‘It’s fine, it really is,’ Jenna insisted, tempted though she was to take up Nick’s offer and spend the night in some decadent suite where they could fuck so hard she wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. But she didn’t think that would go down too well with the others – Zac would probably fire her for lack of professionalism. ‘I’ll get a lift with Ryan.’

  ‘Ryan,’ Nick whined, his forehead creased in an expression of bitter disappointment. ‘But that’s not fair. You’re married!’

  ‘Which is why she’ll be safer with him than with you,’ explained Don firmly. ‘Now let’s call you a car.’

  ‘This is totally unfair,’ complained Nick.

  ‘Quit acting like a jerk,’ snapped Zac, tiring of Nick’s behaviour. ‘I’ll see you guys tomorrow,’ he added shortly, as he headed for the door.

  ‘Do you want a ride too?’ asked Ryan. ‘I don’t mind the drive.’

  ‘No, thanks. I’ll make my own way back.’

  Zac glared at Jenna and walked out of the door.

  7

  ‘Ryan?’ asked Jenna.

  She settled back comfortably into the vast seats of his Range Rover, watching the bright lights of London flash by. It was drizzling lightly outside, and Jenna’s breath on the window caused it to steam up, obstructing her view. She shivered slightly, realizing with a stab of annoyance that she’d left her jacket in the studio.

  ‘Yeah?’ asked Ryan. Following his GPS he signalled right, turning from the main street with its parade of shops into a wealthy-looking residential area, lined with beautiful white stucco-fronted houses.

  Jenna hesitated. ‘Why does Zac dislike me so much?’ she finally asked.

  Ryan’s hands tightened slightly on the steering wheel, and he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the road ahead. ‘He does like you Jenna,’ he began uncertainly, his words lacking sincerity. ‘It’s just that … oh, I don’t know. He does like you Jenna, don’t worry about it,’ he reiterated.

  ‘Oh come on, Ryan,’ shot back Jenna, her voice rising slightly as she felt herself beginning to get upset. ‘You’ve seen what he’s like with me – he can’t stand me. He won’t talk to me, he barely looks at me …’

  ‘Hey, it’s not that bad,’ Ryan insisted, worriedly glancing across at her. ‘He’s having a little trouble adjusting after working with Josh, but he doesn’t hate you Jenna.’

  ‘I don’t know what else I can do,’ she continued desperately, as though he hadn’t spoken. ‘I’ve tried to make him like me, I really have. I so want this to work. And now it’s causing a problem with the band, and Don’s getting pissed off with me …’ Jenna trailed off, her breath coming fast.

  ‘Don’s not pissed off with you,’ reassured Ryan, sounding surprised. ‘Why do you think that?’

  ‘Next street on the left,’ snuffled Jenna, trying to keep her voice steady as she felt the tears gathering in her eyes. She almost wished she hadn’t started the conversation, knowing that if she began to cry she wouldn’t stop. But she had to know. The situation was depressing her, stifling her enjoyment of what should have been one of the most exciting and creative periods of her career.

  ‘Look, don’t take any notice of Zac,’ said Ryan dismissively, trying to keep his tone light. ‘That’s just what he’s like.’

  ‘No, he’s not,’ Jenna protested. ‘Everyone who’s worked with him says he’s the sweetest guy, and I’ve seen what he’s like with everyone else. He gets on fine with them, and they all love him. It’s just me he’s got a problem with.’

  ‘Jenna, sweetheart, please don’t beat yourself up about this,’ Ryan implored, wishing there was something he could say to make her feel better. It was heartbreaking listening to how upset and vulnerable she sounded. ‘Zac’s obviously got some problems at the moment – he is being a little different, yeah. But we’re all feeling the brunt of it too.’

  Jenna bit her lip, looking unconvinced.

  Ryan sighed. ‘I promise you, Jenna, it’s got nothing to do with you,’ he insisted, not knowing if it was true or not, but feeling that it was the right thing to say.

  ‘There’s parking just here on the right,’ Jenna told him with a sniff. ‘He’s said he thinks I’m lazy, but I swear I’m not, Ryan,’ she insisted, her eyes shining wet with tears.

  ‘Jenna, don’t get upset,’ pleaded Ryan, his brow creasing in worry as he swung into the parking spot and turned off the ignition.

  ‘I’m working so hard to please everyone, and he just doesn’t care!’ The tears began to flow and Jenna let them run freely.

  ‘Jenna …’ began Ryan, reaching across the seat towards her. He held her awkwardly and she clung to him, her body wracked with sobs. Ryan took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. He wished he knew what to say to her; he felt so useless and awkward, unaccustomed to dealing with such emotional outbursts. His hands felt large and protective as he held her tiny frame, breathing in the faint smell of her perfume.

  ‘Jenna,’ Ryan began, as he sat up and disentangled himself from her. Gently, he brushed her hair away from her face. ‘I think you should head on in and get yourself a good night’s sleep. It’s been a stressful night, and I’m sure you’ll feel better tomorrow. Get a big glass of juice or something, help you sober up.’ The words came out clumsily,
reflecting Ryan’s discomfort. He was tired and he wanted to get home to his wife and kids – Kelly would probably be waiting up for him, he realized.

  ‘Oh shit, I’m so sorry Ryan,’ Jenna apologized, embarrassed as she wiped her eyes. ‘I’m just being silly – you’ve been so good to put up with me.’

  ‘No problem,’ Ryan mumbled.

  Neither of them spoke for a few moments as Jenna rubbed her eyes tiredly, running a finger underneath her eyelashes to try and wipe off the smudged mascara. Finally, she spoke. ‘I hate to ask after all this, but could you do me one favour?’

  ‘I guess,’ Ryan shrugged.

  ‘I really don’t like getting in by myself – the house is so big and quiet. It was stupid of me to buy it really,’ she smiled. ‘It’s far too big for one person, and I sometimes get a little freaked out. Tonight especially, I’m feeling so on edge. Would you come in with me, just for a few minutes until I’m settled?’ Ryan paused and Jenna forced a smile. ‘You’ll get a free cup of coffee out of it.’

  ‘I don’t know …’ he began slowly. ‘I should be heading back. Kelly’s expecting me, and I don’t want to be too late.’

  ‘But it would only be for a few minutes …’ Jenna saw Ryan hesitate and felt her cheeks grow hot as the anger rose in her chest. Deep down, she knew it wasn’t his fault, but she desperately needed someone to lash out at. ‘Okay, fine. Forget it,’ she snapped furiously, her eyes blazing. ‘None of you like me, do you? We should just call this whole thing off right now because it’s obviously not going to work. Apologize to the rest of the guys for me, would you – that’s if they even care!’

  Jenna jumped down from the car and slammed the door.

  ‘Shit,’ swore Ryan, leaping out of the Range Rover. ‘Jenna! Jenna, wait,’ he yelled, running after her across the street. ‘Jenna,’ he shouted, grabbing her by the shoulder.