Idol

by Carrie Duffy

‘Yes, sing. You know, as in la la la,’ he said tartly.

  ‘Not outside the shower,’ she fired back.

  Karl was amused. Despite his cutting attitude, he loved it when someone took him on and gave as good as they got. ‘I’m not interested in your opinion, only mine,’ he bitched. ‘Now, give me a few bars of something.’

  Sadie went blank. Dancing she could do, but singing was outside her comfort zone. She glanced across at Brooke, hoping for inspiration.

  ‘What about Madonna?’ Brooke suggested brightly. ‘You were wearing the T-shirt last night.’

  Sadie grinned, mentally running through the track listings on her iPod. She decided on ‘Like a Prayer’. It was her favourite; she loved the song, the image, the video – everything about it. She had no idea whether or not she could sing it, but she was going to damn well try.

  Sadie closed her eyes for a second, trying to get into the moment, but Karl told her to open them.

  ‘They’re the windows to the soul, baby,’ he chanted. ‘You’ve gotta communicate with the audience, lay yourself open to them. How’re you gonna do that if you’re shutting yourself off? People lose interest if they can’t see your eyes.’

  Sadie nodded. She understood. Like dancing, it was all about feeling the emotion and communicating it. She fixed Karl with her gaze and began to sing. Her voice was good, tuneful and powerful, with a slight husky quality that was a legacy from last night’s drinking in smoky bars. She made it through a verse and a chorus and Karl looked impressed for the first time that day.

  ‘Ooh, what else are you hiding in there, Miss Laine?’

  Sadie felt triumphant, wondering what else he was going to ask her to do. Bring it on, bitch! She was starting to feel invincible.

  ‘Okay, Sadie, thank you for coming. We’ll be in touch,’ Karl said suddenly, and his tone was dismissive.

  ‘That’s it?’ Sadie exclaimed in surprise, wondering what she’d done wrong.

  ‘Hey, you’ve already had twice as long as any other girl I’ve seen, and you didn’t even have to queue thanks to your number one fan here,’ he said, indicating Brooke. ‘Now, we have your cell number, yes?’

  Sadie explained that she was staying at Caesars but they could reach her there.

  ‘Great. Thank you. Next!’ Karl called out sharply.

  A stunning South American girl wearing little more than hot pants and a bra strutted in. Her body was amazing; she had the longest legs Sadie had ever seen and her abs were so toned you could see the outline of a six-pack. She wore black fishnet hold-ups with biker boots, and had such a sassy attitude that an onlooker would think her place in the group was a God-given right. Sadie felt ridiculous in her leggings and flip-flops, wondering how on earth she’d ever expected to be taken seriously.

  She glanced at Brooke, hoping for some reassurance. Brooke gave her an excited thumbs-up before turning her attention to the new arrival who was announcing herself as Adriana. Everyone seemed to have totally forgotten Sadie’s existence. As discreetly as possible, she picked up her now cold coffee and slunk out of the door.

  18

  Jenna stood in front of the antique mirror in her room in Casa Santos, scrutinizing her appearance. She was wearing denim hot pants and a white triangle bikini top which showed off her fabulous tan. Her long, thick hair was pulled up into a loose knot on top of her head, with a few wispy tendrils breaking loose to perfectly frame her pretty face, and she had applied just a slick of lip gloss and a little waterproof mascara. The look was simple and uncomplicated, and showed her natural beauty to perfection. Yet she felt on edge.

  It was her second day at the villa and Nick had decided to throw a barbecue. Very shortly, Zac, Ryan, and his family would be arriving for a pleasant afternoon’s socializing on the beach. Except it wasn’t going to turn out that way, because Kelly was an insecure, hormonal mess, and Zac acted like he found Jenna ridiculous and immature, and couldn’t stand being around her for any longer than he had to. Jenna bit her lip. She knew Nick was just being his sociable, easy-going self, but it was fine for him – this was his world, his friends. She wished it could be just the two of them, so they might finally get a chance to finish what they’d started …

  She heard a tap at the door, and it swung open just a little. ‘Are you ready?’ asked Nick. ‘Everyone’ll be here soon.’

  ‘Not quite. Go ahead, I’ll be down in a minute.’

  ‘Nah, come down now – you look incredible.’

  ‘I’m not ready yet,’ Jenna repeated unconvincingly.

  Seeing that something was wrong, Nick stepped into her room, closing the door behind him. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Jenna lied, avoiding his gaze.

  ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Nick asked, evidently concerned.

  Jenna thought back to the way Kelly had spoken to her on the plane, the look of hostility in her eyes. ‘It’s nothing,’ she said dismissively. ‘I’m just being silly.’ She felt increasingly annoyed with herself. It wasn’t like her to let a little thing like this get under her skin.

  Nick sighed as he stepped towards her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. His embrace was strong and reassuring as Jenna sank against him. ‘What am I going to do with you, Jonsson?’ he asked hoarsely, holding her tightly as he rested his chin on the top of her head, feeling her silky hair beneath his rugged stubble.

  Jenna didn’t reply but let herself melt into his arms, smelling the glorious, musky scent of the aftershave he was wearing. She closed her eyes, wishing she could stay protected in his arms and not have to go downstairs and face Kelly’s wrath or Zac’s disapproval. Jenna was crushed against Nick’s bare chest, acutely aware of the intense skin-on-skin contact. She couldn’t fail to be; her body made it unmistakable as she felt the heat flood into her belly, moving lower, all too aware of how easy it would be to just—

  The doorbell rang, and they heard Carlos shout from downstairs, ‘Señor Taylor?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m coming,’ Nick hollered back, reluctantly pulling away. ‘Are you gonna be okay?’ he asked her seriously, wanting to make sure but knowing they had to go.

  ‘Yeah.’ Jenna nodded. ‘Yeah, I’ll be fine.’ She smiled up at him as he placed a hand lightly on her back and steered her towards the door.

  ‘Come on, let’s go.’

  In the hallway Jenna quickly checked her appearance in the mahogany-framed mirror. The better she looked, the more confident she felt – and she looked sensational. Any bullshit from Kelly or Zac, and Jenna couldn’t be held responsible for her actions.

  Nick opened the door and the first people she saw were Ryan and Kelly. Ryan stood with Brandon wound round his legs, as Kelly held the baby in her arms. The overall effect was as though this perfect family had just stepped out of the pages of a glossy magazine, straight out of a fragrance ad. It was nauseating, thought Jenna spitefully, forcing herself to smile at them.

  Behind them was Zac. He looked fantastic in a white Paul Smith shirt, open at the neck to show off his light tan.

  Then Jenna noticed – Amber was standing beside him.

  ‘Amber, hi! I didn’t know you were coming,’ Jenna faltered, her surprise all too obvious. Could it possibly get any worse, she wondered? Kelly and Amber all in the same afternoon. Fan-fucking-tastic.

  ‘I flew out late last night,’ Amber explained coolly. ‘I have to fly back to New York tomorrow afternoon, but I thought I’d come and see my baby while I’ve got a couple of days off,’ she added, as she slipped a skinny arm possessively around Zac.

  Nick stepped forward to kiss Amber on the cheek. ‘Well, it’s great to have you here,’ he told her warmly. Whether he was being genuine or not, Jenna couldn’t tell, but he was enthusiastic enough to make it believable and Jenna didn’t want to ruin his party.

  Faking a bright smile, she turned to Amber. ‘I love your hair,’ she lied effusively. ‘It looks fabulous.’ Amber had had her long copper hair chopped into a stylish, graduated bob, complete with blonde strea
ks. Fortunately for her, Amber had the skyscraper cheekbones to carry it off, but Jenna wasn’t keen on the style. It was undeniably cutting edge, but Jenna preferred to look a little more classic – a little more timeless, in the iconic Bardot mould.

  ‘Thanks,’ drawled Amber. ‘Zac doesn’t like it, do you honey?’ she asked, her movements strangely exaggerated as she turned to look at him.

  ‘It’s not that, it’s just—’

  ‘He prefers it long,’ Amber announced loudly as she cut Zac off, her voice high and shrill. Zac looked at the floor, his cheeks blazing in embarrassment. He looked furious, his fists balled up tightly at his sides. Yet Jenna was surprised to see that he kept his temper in check and said nothing.

  The others looked at each other somewhat nervously, trying to work out what was going on. The atmosphere seemed strained, as they all stood in uncomfortable silence in the expansive entrance hall. Despite its high ceilings and wide, sweeping staircase, it suddenly seemed unbearably claustrophobic.

  ‘Shall we head out back?’ Nick asked brightly, as though nothing was wrong. ‘Carlos has been working like crazy all morning, and the beach looks awesome.’

  With Nick at the head of the group, keeping up a constant stream of chat to ensure that there were no awkward pauses, and the two couples walking side by side, Jenna hung back, walking behind Zac and Amber. She eyed her critically; Amber was wearing a pleated white minidress by Chloe, and she was so thin she was practically skeletal. Her stomach was concave, and her rib cage protruded visibly through her skin. Her arms were so lean that the shape of the muscles could be clearly seen – there wasn’t an ounce of spare flesh to cover them. She seemed to be having difficulty walking, and clung onto Zac for support. Occasionally she would stumble on one of the flagstones, then swear violently at Zac as he tried to hold her up.

  Jenna felt sickened. It was obvious what Amber’s problem was, and it made Jenna hate her more than she ever had. Not simply because, from all Jenna’s experience of her, Amber seemed to be a Class-A bitch – it was her Class-A habit that really pissed off Jenna. She had had first-hand experience of how coke could wreck lives, and she still couldn’t believe people were dumb enough to take it. Amber was a mess – one look at her made it plain for anyone to see. Why Zac was with her, Jenna couldn’t begin to understand.

  They made it down to the beach without incident, and, as Nick had said, it looked fabulous. There was enough food to feed them all for weeks, and Carlos and his men had got the barbecue blazing nicely. They’d rigged a system of lights all the way along the path and onto the sand itself, so the party could continue even after it got dark, and an iPod dock had been set up on the food table, pumping music from the speakers.

  Little Brandon was wild with excitement, running excitedly from the sea to the barbecue and back again. Nick was handling the cooking, and Jenna picked slowly at a vegetable skewer, feeling a little excluded as she watched the couples around her, increasingly intrigued by the strained relationship between Amber and Zac.

  At times they would look like any other loving couple, as Amber curled up on Zac’s lap, nestling into his shoulder while the two of them whispered to each other and giggled at private jokes only they understood. But at other times, Amber seemed irritated by his very presence, snapping viciously at him and causing everyone to look away uncomfortably as Zac grew mad and struggled to hold his tongue. Her behaviour infuriated Jenna – she felt outraged on behalf of Zac, at the way Amber was humiliating him. Okay, so Zac had never exactly been her favourite person, but he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. More than anything, Jenna wanted to give Amber a good, hard slap, and tell her to grow up.

  It was inevitable that Jenna should end up talking to Nick for most of the afternoon. Being surrounded by couples they were naturally drawn together, and because she was living with him she undoubtedly felt closer to him than the other members of Phoenix. At least, that was what she told herself. The fact that she fancied him like crazy was just pure coincidence.

  Jenna stretched out on the sand, feeling the hot sun caress her body as she watched Nick expertly handle the barbecue. It wasn’t just the Mediterranean heat that was making her body temperature soar, she realized. She wanted him badly. It was excruciating, being in such close proximity to the guy she wanted most in the whole world twenty-four hours a day. And it wasn’t as though Jenna Jonsson had any trouble getting guys. But she knew this was different. They worked together, which was always going to make things difficult. And he had a reputation. Nick Taylor was one of the industry’s biggest players, and Jenna wasn’t stupid. She read the papers. She knew he had a different girl every week. But still …

  She had seen the other side to him – the caring, affectionate side which was always absent from the way the press painted him. According to the papers, Nick was merely an arrogant playboy with a string of beautiful women all over the world and an irresponsible lifestyle. But they didn’t know him, thought Jenna affectionately, watching the way his muscular body glistened in the sunlight. She didn’t think she’d seen him wear a shirt the whole time they’d been in Ibiza.

  ‘Hey!’ came a loud shout. Jenna turned to see Amber tottering unsteadily down the steep steps cut into the rock face. She’d been back up to the house and had clearly just indulged. Everyone looked over as she yelled; she had their full, horrified attention. ‘You guys,’ she announced loudly, ‘are sooo fucking boring. Let’s liven the place up a little. Put some music on we can dance to or something. Anything,’ she drawled, as she slid down the last couple of steps and stumbled onto the sand.

  Zac sprang to his feet, his face contorted with rage. ‘Amber—’ he began, but Nick stopped him.

  ‘Hey man, it’s fine. Everything’s fine,’ he said carefully. ‘Sure, come and pick another track,’ Nick told Amber, speaking gently, as though she were a difficult child. ‘There’s loads on here.’

  ‘Nick, you don’t have to …’ began Zac apologetically.

  ‘Don’t worry, it’s no problem.’

  Amber made her way over to the table, the uneven sand causing her to walk unsteadily like some grotesque parody of her catwalk strut. It was embarrassing to watch, and it must have been heartbreaking for Zac, Jenna thought unhappily.

  Amber quickly scrolled through the playlist. ‘They’re all shit,’ she snapped dismissively, as she clumsily prodded at the buttons. She chose a Faithless track, dance music with a heavy, insistent bass line. Amber whacked the volume up to full and began to move, kicking off her sandals. ‘Come on you guys,’ she laughed, now seeming to be enjoying herself.

  ‘Jesus,’ muttered Nick under his breath, watching her dance maniacally on the sand, lost in her own world as she span around and swayed from side to side, waving her arms above her head.

  ‘Would you care to dance?’ asked Nick, offering his hand to Jenna in an attempt to lighten the appalling situation and draw the group’s attention away from Amber. She had now closed her eyes and was running her hands sensually over her body. Zac’s cheeks were flaming as he watched her dancing provocatively, all inhibitions lost in her drug-fuelled haze.

  ‘Sure,’ Jenna smiled. ‘You’re a good mover,’ she teased him, as he took her by the hand and spun her around. ‘You should have been in a boy band.’

  Nick laughed, and after a couple of songs the tension seemed to have eased a little. Zac blankly raked the hot coals of the barbecue, as they all pretended not to have noticed Amber dancing by herself further down the beach.

  Ryan and Kelly sat curled up together, proud, loving smiles on their faces as they watched Brandon dancing by himself on the sand, blissfully unaware of the strangeness of the situation. Ryan sat with one arm protectively around Kelly, the other hand resting on her stomach. She looked tired but happy as she rested her head on Ryan’s shoulder. When she caught Jenna watching them, her face hardened, and Jenna quickly glanced away.

  The music changed to a chill-out song by Groove Armada and Nick automatically pulled Jenna closer. Smilin
g, she slipped her arms around his neck, throwing her hair out behind her. It had dried now, and Jenna could tell that the sea water had sent it dry and lanky. It must look awful, she thought.

  She’s so beautiful, thought Nick, as he pulled her close and rested one hand on her lower back. His touch was warm and it made Jenna’s skin tingle. Her breasts were crushed against his chest, and Nick was getting horny as hell. But his gaze never wavered from her face as they looked at each other, locked in a silent game of daring the other to look away first. Neither of them did. Jenna felt her cheeks start to flush. Her body was hot and she felt her nipples tighten, wondering if Nick could feel them through the thin material of her bikini top. But still she didn’t look away. She knew the others would be watching them and she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything except Nick and those dizzying blue eyes as he drew her closer …

  ‘Fuck!’

  Jenna started, pulling away from Nick as there was a piercing scream from nearby. She looked around to see Amber in a heap on the sand, one leg badly twisted under her. Pandemonium broke loose as everyone ran towards her.

  Zac got there first, shortly followed by Ryan.

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘She lost her balance,’ said Zac quietly.

  ‘I fell, you stupid fuck! I fell over, and now my fucking leg is broken,’ Amber shouted, letting out another yell.

  She was close to tears as Zac smoothed her hair, trying to calm her down.

  ‘Can you stand?’ he asked her.

  ‘Of course I can’t fucking stand,’ she screeched. ‘My fucking leg is broken. Don’t you understand, you stupid bastard?’

  ‘It might not be so bad,’ said Nick. ‘Try and lean on me, see if you can stand.’

  ‘Get your hands off me,’ Amber screamed at him, flailing her arms wildly as she pushed him away. ‘Get me a helicopter or something, I need to go to hospital.’

  Kelly knelt down by Amber’s foot, pressing it lightly and gently moving it from side to side. Amber screamed in pain.