Seduce Me in Shadow

by Seduce Me in Shadow (lit)

  His every word was a pick ax to the heart, and she struggled to comprehend his reasons for walking away from greatness and love for the mundane and lonely. “So you’d prefer to end it, just to be safe?”

  Caden hesitated. “You’ve chosen to remain, and I’m going to protect you. But mating in the middle of a war with both of us on the front lines, there would be consequences you can’t begin to comprehend.”

  “Explain them.”

  He sighed. “Even if I did, it would change nothing. We want different lives. I won’t lie and say I don’t love you or that I don’t wish things could be different. But I’d be doing us both a disservice if I spoke the Call.” Caden looked at her then with bleak, hollow eyes. The expression magnified as he touched her cheek and leaned in to hold her close and kiss her forehead. “I’ll remain your bodyguard, nothing more.”

  Sydney pulled away from his embrace. A deep, heavy ache spread across her chest, shattering her heart into a million pieces. “I’ll do my damnedest to make you regret your choice.”

  She grabbed the video camera, hurt pounding inside her. But she hesitated. That tousled hair that curled at the ends, those electric eyes, the ripped body . . . yes, at first he’d been a walking fantasy, and she’d lusted after him. But soon, she’d discovered the man beneath, the one who put his brother first, who believed in her, who made love passionately, who fought to protect her even when he wanted to run away.

  But it appeared that magic was a hurdle they couldn’t overcome. Sydney wasn’t going to walk away from magickind. This had become more than a story to her. Bram and the others were a handful against a powerful evil. If she could help them, she would. She’d proudly do this job until she could return to the human world to tell the best story ever about magickind.

  Pity she’d take the spotlight alone.

  “No doubt you’ll achieve all your ambitions. I’ll miss you.”

  Tears burning her eyes, she watched Caden leave.

  “ . . . sobering video from a fight that took place earlier today. Mathias D’Arc is definitely back and, as you saw, is abducting soldiers from around the world and converting them to zombies to make his army. He and his followers have attacked at least four Privileged families, killing many and abducting the women. Take precautions. Keep close watch on all family members. Never stray far from your wand. Have some means of communication nearby. If you’re being attacked, contact Bram Rion. Updates will follow as necessary. I’m Sydney Blair. Stay safe. Good afternoon.”

  With that, Bram waved a hand in front of the ancient, heavy mirror hanging in the library. Beside him, Sabelle stood with a smile, despite the strain on her face.

  “Good job,” Bram praised, exiting into the hall. “Angry Council members will scream their displeasure in mere moments, I suspect, but at least innocent people have been warned.”

  “You’ve done the right thing,” Sabelle added, following Bram.

  Nodding, he sighed and approached Sydney. “Are you all right?”

  Define all right, she thought. Transcasting the news of Mathias’s return had been both exhilarating and bittersweet. Without Caden here to cheer her on, hold her hand, love her afterward . . . a part of her was missing.

  “Fine.” Melancholy and exhaustion made holding her plastic smile a Herculean task.

  “I’ll pretend I believe you and wait for the deluge of messages in my office. The rest of the warriors and I should talk, plan our next moves.” He paused and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You’ve done us a great service at much risk to yourself. I appreciate you. I know the others do as well.”

  Looking tired but determined, Bram left.

  “I don’t know what he’s going to do,” Sabelle murmured after he’d cleared the room.

  “Do?”

  “He’s nearly out of energy and cannot find his mate,” the witch explained. “Thus far, he’s only skimmed the barest amount from a surrogate. I hope he finds this mystery woman soon. Or takes more energy. He’s too important to the cause to go on like this.”

  “What will happen if he doesn’t?”

  “He’ll die. It’s why I’ve been tending Caden’s brother. Technically, he’s no longer mated since Anka broke with him, but he rejected all females until I duped him into believing I was her. His condition is awful. He’s keeping his strength now, but his mind . . . I don’t know if he’ll recover.”

  Caden had returned to the UK for his brother and had reluctantly admitted that Lucan had a mental imbalance, but nothing more. Now she saw the truth he’d avoided telling her. Sabelle’s explanation made all the pieces click into place. Lucan’s magical “divorce” from Anka had caused Lucan’s condition. Could Caden be rejecting a future with me, not because I’d written in the diary, but because he feared becoming like his brother?

  Oh. Dear God.

  Suddenly, Sabelle speared Sydney with a direct stare. “You’re right. Sorry to read your mind. Terrible habit. Caden is terrified of becoming like Lucan.” She shook her head. “I hope Caden finds Anka before it’s too late.”

  She had to see the man, had to know what had spooked Caden. Trying to fight something she couldn’t see and scarcely understood was both stupid and impossible.

  “When Caden left, I told him I would be by shortly to see Lucan. I’m certain they’re settled in at Lucan’s townhouse. I think it’s time you see the dangerous side of magic.”

  She hardly needed more proof to understand magic’s potential peril. But perhaps this would unravel the rest of the complicated puzzle of Caden.

  “Of course.”

  “No pictures. I simply want you to understand, not report.”

  Naturally. If I reported on Lucan’s condition, it might spur Mathias to take the mates of other Doomsday Brethren.

  “Just Bram,” Sabelle provided. “Marrok isn’t a wizard, and none of the others are fully mated.”

  “Fully mated?”

  Sabelle began trudging her way up the stairs. “Remember when I told you about the Call? They ask, you answer, then you’re mated?”

  She nodded. “It sounded simple enough, so how can someone be partially mated?”

  “They ask and they’re refused.”

  “But if they’re refused, how can the bond be established?”

  “The wizard takes a mate in his heart when he speaks the words. Whether or not he genuinely means them or the feelings are reciprocated, he is bound by that Call. Until the woman dies, he is hers exclusively.”

  Sydney’s jaw dropped as she followed the woman. “And one of these big warriors—”

  “Shock. He Called to Anka shortly before Lucan did and was eventually Renounced.”

  Another jaw dropper. Lucan and Shock quarreling over the same woman?

  “For over a century. When Lucan slipped into mate mourning, we called Caden here to care for his brother. He’s afraid because he knows you’re his, but has seen firsthand the tragic possibilities of mating.”

  Sabelle reached the top of the stairs and headed for a corner room in the family wing. Sydney had never been to this side of the estate, and when the witch pushed her way into a glamorous room, Sydney’s jaw threatened to drop once more. Sumptuous cream silk bedding with golden touches was relieved by hints of melted chocolate. The walls were warm, the drapes swagged, the furniture of dark, glossy wood. Crystal candlesticks gleamed, plush furniture lounged. The room fit Sabelle completely.

  “It’s lovely.”

  Sabelle smiled. “My haven. I just need to grab a few things. Should only be a moment.”

  Why not just summon objects? Sydney wondered.

  The beautiful witch sent her a chiding stare. “I’m saving my energy for what’s to come.”

  She grabbed a cape, a length of silk, rope, and a pair of handcuffs. Sydney’s brows raised.

  “I don’t know what I’m facing over there,” Sabelle explained. “Here, we had Lucan well restrained so he wouldn’t be a danger to anyone.”

  Suddenly, Sydney wasn’t sure she wante
d to see Lucan after all. But Sabelle grabbed her arm. Blackness and that topsy-turvy feeling invaded her stomach. A weightless feel left her at odds and ends.

  Then the floor appeared beneath them, and they zoomed into a room straight out of Tuscany, with walls like an autumn afternoon and drapes the color of wine, accented by a gleaming hardwood floor.

  The only thing out of place was the snarling man secured by rope to all four corners of the bed. His dark hair had been pulled back, revealing a face that would normally be considered handsome. It was so like Caden’s with high cheekbones, a wide mouth, a sculpted jaw. But instead of the familiar vibrant blue, Lucan’s eyes were just angry black pinpricks. No warmth or passion, as feral as a wild wolf’s.

  Lucan snapped his unfocused gaze in their direction and roared, struggling against his bonds as the bed creaked. Surprise pinged through Sydney. She stepped back. Way back.

  “Losing Anka did this to him?”

  Sabelle nodded solemnly.

  He missed his mate so much that he’d lost his mind? Sydney had never met Lucan, but she ached for him and the pain he was obviously enduring.

  “Because she’s no longer mated to him? Doesn’t that release him? Or does he suffer because the break was against his will?”

  “It doesn’t matter why the mating ends. Magic makes the ties between mates stronger than humans. Unlike divorce, there’s a magical connection that doesn’t simply disappear because the union is over.”

  “Even under all his madness, he misses her?”

  “Lucan doesn’t remember who he is but, he knows Anka at a core level. I can only give him energy by tricking him into believing I’m her. I use her soap and shampoo, wear her clothes, whatever is necessary.”

  Under all that torment, Lucan waited for his one true love. And she might be gone from him forever. Tears welled.

  “But if Anka is free of Mathias and has left Aquarius, why doesn’t she return to Lucan?”

  “She doesn’t remember him. Magic’s way of ensuring survival of the species, I suppose. She’s currently mateless and in need of a male with whom she can charge her energy. If she remembered Lucan and suffered as he does, she’d never allow another to mount her and potentially impregnate her. Conceiving is possible, but difficult if unmated, and with Lucan in her memory and heart, she’d likely never mate again.”

  “Nor will Lucan.”

  “Men who have been well mated usually emerge from their mate mourning with a strong yearning to mate again.”

  “Usually? I hear uncertainty in your voice.”

  Sabelle winced. “Lucan may be different. . . .”

  Sydney dared to glance at Lucan again. His gleaming chest and shoulders rippled with each strain against the ropes. His growl was a threat that sent shivers down her spine. His love must be powerful, indeed. And Sabelle had tricked him into bedding her?

  “It’s the only way to keep him alive.”

  Caden’s reluctance to mate made sense now. He liked being in control. Lucan’s descent into madness because of magic would be the worst horror to a soldier with such self command.

  They were in the midst of a war, and Sydney had put herself straight in the path of danger. Coupled with the fact she’d brought Caden to her side by foul means—even if the book no longer played a role between them—his retreat made a sad sort of sense.

  She bit her lip. She needed to talk to him, if only to say that she understood. “Is Caden here?”

  “I’m sure he is. He doesn’t know we’re here. Lucan long ago allowed Bram and me to visit without chiming in.” Sabelle handed her a little white rock. “I’m leaving, since Lucan’s energy is holding and I’m not needed. When you’re ready to return, just toss this stone in the air and say my name. I’ll return for you.” Sabelle hugged her, then warned, “Given his worries about Lucan and Mathias’s backlash, Caden may be a bit on edge.”

  A shuffle and a quiet knock on the family room door, Caden twisted around in the plush recliner, expecting to see Sabelle. The sight of Sydney punched him with a breathless rush of thrill and need.

  He’d been away from her for four hours and missed her with a frightening intensity, like a junkie craving a fix. After settling Lucan back into his home, Caden had done little except pace and sweat and wish to God he could hear or smell or touch Sydney. Or taste her. He had to get his desire under control before he could protect her. Worse, his energy was waning, and he realized that as an unmated male, he could bed anyone. And must do so soon.

  But he only wanted her.

  Then his brain kicked in. Why was she here? Sabelle, he realized. And the only reason for the witch to visit was Lucan.

  Anxiety buzzed his blood, and he fought to rein in the curse on the tip of his tongue. Sydney now knew far more about his objections. That fact softened her normally sharp gaze.

  Damn it, she felt sorry for him.

  “I know you’re not expecting me.” She took a hesitant step into the room, eyes flicking to the book on the nearby table. “I don’t mean to barge in, but I had to see you. Why didn’t you tell me about Lucan and his mate mourning?”

  Caden took a hesitant step closer—but not too close. That would be dangerous. “It doesn’t change anything.”

  “But your refusal to share with me does. I only wanted the truth.”

  She rushed across the room to stand by his side. Her smell blindsided him with hunger and longing. He dug his fingers into his thigh to keep from reaching out and hauling her into his arms.

  “I understand now what you fear,” she murmured. “Why you’ve avoided mating with me. Your brother has lost all control, and that’s something you strive to retain. I’m sorry for him, but you don’t know that Lucan’s condition would become yours—”

  “Given the way you’ve thrown yourself into a war, I do. Your bravery is commendable, but it’s placed you in grave danger. You don’t take precautions, and I know you’ll try to refuse my protection, even if I insist you follow my rules—”

  “Your rules? I’m hardly a child in need of guidance.”

  He stepped closer, toe to toe, towering over her. That spicy-sweet scent of hers infiltrated and intoxicated his senses, tightening his gut. The inevitable erection sprang to life moments later. He had to get rid of her quickly. His resistance to her kiss was weakening.

  “You met Mathias face-to-face and duped him. Angered him. He won’t forget that. Or the fact you revealed him to magickind. He will hunt you down and torture you. Why didn’t you use caution? Bow out?” he growled, ready to tear his hair out. “Now it’s too late. In less than two weeks my desire for you has grown far beyond rational. If we mated, there’s no question I would become like my brother.”

  “I’m clever, and you’ll protect me. Bram and the others will, too.”

  “No. I’m no longer involved.”

  “You should be. Don’t you see? Strength in numbers. If you stayed with the others, we’d be safer and making a difference. If we mated, we’d have each other. I don’t need more.” She paused, bit her lip. “I should tell you something—”

  “I feel the same and more, but if I mated with you, I could probably count our time together in days on the fist of one hand. This is war. Mathias is like . . . magickind’s ultimate sociopath. Determined, smart, charismatic, powerful and willing to kill. And he won’t die by a simple bullet, as you saw in his warehouse.”

  “We’ve weakened his army,” she argued. “Taking the fight to him was the right thing to do, and using the book as bait was perfect. Maybe peace will come shortly, and we will have wasted precious time together.”

  Caden raked a frustrated hand through his hair. They were talking in circles, and still she wouldn’t understand. “Peace? Last time Mathias was vanquished, it took decades and an army of experienced wizards. Many died. Too many were sacrificed.”

  “The same is true in human wars. And like those, we don’t have any control over who lives or who dies. We only have control over what we do with our time together.”
She squeezed his hand. “If Lucan and Anka’s separation has shown anything, it should be that, while lovers can suffer, love itself endures. Even without remembering Lucan, Anka knew she was missing someone dear.”

  “And Lucan has been reduced to an animal.”

  “Who still pines for his mate. You fear becoming like Lucan so much you would rather skip whatever time we might have together? If that’s so, you don’t love me as I love you.” She sniffed. “And maybe I’ve no one to blame but myself.”