Let It Snow

by Sherry Lewis

  He grabbed his gloves, a hat and a muffler for his ears, then crossed the hall and knocked on the guest-room door.

  “Cameron, the sleigh’s here. I’ll meet you outside.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there in a minute.” Before Rick made it to the top of the stairs, Cameron’s door opened a crack and his face appeared in the opening. “Is my mom coming?”

  Rick couldn’t tell if he’d only imagined the hope in Cameron’s voice. “She’s coming,” he said. “In fact, she just drove up.”

  Something shot through Cameron’s eyes, but it disappeared too quickly for Rick to read it. “Oh. Okay.” He pulled his head back and closed the door again.

  Rick hurried down the stairs, snagged his coat and put it on as he stepped outside. Marti had parked near the end of the house, but she hadn’t gotten out of her car. Rick started toward her, but Lynette stopped him before he’d gone even half a dozen steps.

  Her face was tight with disapproval. “I thought you were going to tell her not to come.”

  Rick pulled on one glove. “I never agreed to that and you know it.”

  “I don’t want her here.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. But I do want her here, and so does Cameron.”

  “What am 1 supposed to tell the girls?”

  “How about telling them I have a date?”

  “A date?” Her displeasure made the air around them almost static. “This is supposed to be a family outing.”

  He leaned closer so no one else could hear. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. If things work out right, Marti and Cameron will be family.”

  Lynette took a jerky step backward and horror painted her face. “You’re making a big mistake. They’re nothing but trouble—both of them.”

  “No, Lynette, they’re not. And I don’t think I’m making a mistake. I think it’s the first intelligent thing I’ve done in years.” Her nostrils flared slightly, but he didn’t care. He’d been patient with her long enough. “Marti is here as my guest. I hope you can get along with her for a few hours, but if you can’t, I suggest you stay behind.” With that, he walked away.

  He struggled all the way across the clearing to get his emotions under control. But he was still upset when he drew up beside Marti’s car.

  She climbed slowly out to meet him. She’d dressed for the weather in a stocking cap, scarf and heavy jacket. Thick gloves sheathed her hands and sturdy boots encased her feet. She smiled up at him and held out her arms as if presenting herself for inspection. “Think I’ll stay warm enough?”

  “You should.” He’d hoped that his irritation with Lynette wouldn’t show, but he could tell by the way Marti’s smile suddenly quavered that it had come out in his voice. He tempered his response with a smile and tried again. “Sorry. I just...” He didn’t know how to explain without hurting her feelings.

  “I saw you talking to Lynette. I take it she’s not thrilled to see me here,” Marti said.

  “No, she’s not,” he admitted. “But it’s not up to her.”

  “I don’t want to intrude.”

  “You’re not intruding. I want you here.”

  She smiled again, and this time the smile reached all the way to her eyes. The urge to pull her into his arms nearly overwhelmed him. He fought it away and reminded himself that tonight wasn’t a time for them. “Besides, you and Cameron need some time together. Time having fun. Time spent not arguing.”

  “I wish I could be as certain as you that this will help.”

  He didn’t admit that he wasn’t certain at all. He didn’t want to undermine what little confidence she had. He put one arm around her shoulder, but once he did he couldn’t resist pulling her close.

  Immediately, he realized he’d made a mistake. The feel of her in his arms and the look in her eyes roused desires that were better kept in check tonight. But he couldn’t make himself release her or take his gaze from hers.

  She melted against him for an instant, and he suddenly wanted the right to do this forever. No, he needed this forever. He needed her at his side and in his life. And he wondered just how long he could make himself wait.

  She stiffened noticeably. “There’s Cameron.”

  Reluctantly, he pulled his arm away. He turned to follow her gaze and saw Cameron on the front porch bundled up for the cold weather. He didn’t appear to have seen Rick and Marti; his eyes had locked on Kendra standing near the horses.

  “Young love,” Rick said with a smile at Marti. Raw emotion filled her eyes. “It will be all right,” he promised. “You’ll see.”

  She nodded.

  He couldn’t help wishing he could do or say something to make tonight easier for her. Some part of him wished he could fix it for her. If he’d learned nothing else from his first marriage, he’d learned that he couldn’t fix the world for anyone else. He could only help by offering his support.

  He glanced down at Marti again, saw the emotions playing on her face as she watched Cameron, and pulled himself up sharply. He was here to help Marti and Cameron in any way he could. But ultimately it was up to the two of them to work out their differences.

  He just hoped it wouldn’t take them too long to come around. He didn’t know if he could wait that long.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  MARTI SAT in the sleigh beside Rick and watched Cameron laughing with Kendra and Ashley. A light wind lifted snow from the field as they rode through it and stars twinkled in the sky overhead. It was a perfect night. Not too cold. At least, it should have been peaceful. But every time they bounced over a rut, Marti brushed against some part of Rick—shoulder, arm, thigh, hip—and every time she touched him, the peace in her heart shattered.

  She hadn’t come here tonight to fall even more hopelessly in love with Rick or to let her ever-growing desire get the best of her. She’d come to try once more to mend her relationship with Cameron.

  Shifting a little away from Rick, she told herself to ignore him and pay attention to Cameron. She had to reach him tonight. She didn’t know how many more chances she’d get.

  She glanced quickly at Lynette, sitting at the head of the sleigh beside Tom. Lynette scowled, but Marti didn’t know whether she intended the scowl for her, for Cameron and Kendra, or for all of them. It didn’t matter, she supposed. Lynette obviously didn’t approve of something, and her attitude was throwing a pall over the entire party.

  Every nerve in her body seemed painfully alive. Every word, every laugh, every squeal of delight from Ashley or Kendra, every movement from Rick or shift of position by Cameron set her nerves jangling.

  She closed her eyes and tried to find some comfort in the movement of the sleigh and the clip-clop of the horses’ hooves on the road.

  While she sat that way, someone began to sing softly. “Silent night, holy night...” Another voice joined in, both voices high and sweet. Kendra and Ashley. “All is calm, all is bright...” The music did what the rest of the night hadn’t been able to and helped her relax slightly.

  Someone else began to sing, this voice slightly deeper. It didn’t sound low enough to be Tom’s, and she knew Rick wasn’t singing, which left Cameron as the only other possibility. Giving in to curiosity, she opened her eyes and focused on her son. He sat between Kendra and Ashley, a serious expression on his face, his mouth moving in time with theirs. “...mother and child. Holy infant so tender and mild...”

  He’d been tender and mild once, she thought. He’d been a sweet little boy who’d run to her when something hurt him and who’d believed there was magic in her kiss. A vision of Cameron at about the age of eight flitted through her mind. He’d been in the elementary school’s Christmas program, front row. He’d tilted his head back and let the music pour out of him, but that had been so long ago, she’d almost forgotten how much he’d liked to sing. Or how beautiful his voice had been during the solo the choir director had given him in the “Little Drummer Boy.” It had been her favorite Christmas carol ever since. She couldn’t hear it without getting tears in
her eyes.

  He looked so different now. His voice came softly and he seemed uncomfortable with himself. Regret for the little boy she’d lost tore through her and she blinked rapidly to clear the tears from her eyes. She couldn’t let herself cry. Even as a little boy, Cameron had rolled his eyes when he caught her crying- at his concerts. She’d tried explaining that she couldn’t help herself, that the tears had been joyful ones that ought to tell him how proud she was of him, but it hadn’t made any difference to him then. And she knew he’d hate her for losing control now.

  Their voices drifted away, then almost immediately started again singing a chorus of “Jingle Bells.” For just a moment, she thought she heard Rick humming along. Kendra must have heard him too, because she beamed across the sleigh at him. “Come on, Uncle Rick. Sing with us.”

  Rick shook his head. “I’m tone-deaf.”

  Ashley sat up on her knees. “So? Who cares? It’s Christmas.”

  “I care,” Rick said, but the ghost of a smile tugged at his lips.

  Kendra giggled. “Well, nobody else does. Come on, Cameron’s singing.”

  “Cameron can carry a tune,” Rick argued.

  Marti smiled at his obvious discomfort. She put a hand on his arm and patted him gently. “Don’t be mean to your uncle Rick, girls. If he wants to be a party pooper, let him.”

  Ashley laughed aloud and scooped a handful of snow from a bush as they passed. She lobbed the powder playfully at Rick, but most of it drifted in different directions before it reached him. “All right. Fine,” she said. “You sing something, Cam.”

  Cameron looked hesitant, but Ashley obviously didn’t intend to let him follow Rick’s example. “Sing ‘Deck the Halls.”’

  Kendra nodded. “Or ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town.’”

  “No,” Cameron said. “I don’t want to sing those.” He darted a quick glance at Marti. To her surprise, his eyes softened. He looked down at his hands for a second, then lifted his head and sang.

  “Come, they told me...”

  He sang at least an octave lower than he had in elementary school, but the song immediately transported her back in time. And, as it always did, brought tears to her eyes.

  “... our newborn King to see... ”

  Did he know what hearing that song did to her? She tried to hold back the tears, but her emotions were too raw, too close to the surface. She couldn’t stop them.

  “... our finest gifts we bring... to place before our King... ”

  One of the girls joined in with him, her voice high and clear, but Marti couldn’t focus well enough to see which of them had decided to sing along. It didn’t matter, anyway. The only voice she could really hear was Cameron’s.

  Lynette shifted position and lifted a limp hand to her forehead. Immediately concerned, Tom put an arm around her. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine,” she whimpered. “I just have the most dreadful headache.”

  Tom waved a hand toward the kids. “Enough singing for now. Your mother’s not feeling well.”

  Cameron fell silent, but the look on his face tore Marti up inside. Strong, maternal, protective anger raged within her.

  She caught a glimpse of Rick’s face from the corner of her eye. He frowned over at Lynette, who glanced away quickly.

  Lynette leaned against Tom’s shoulder with a satisfied smile. Suddenly Marti recalled the many times Gil had imposed his will on her. Marti had always given up the fight every time he showed the slightest sign of disapproval.

  Anger surged again, but this time she wouldn’t sit here silently and let Lynette manipulate the circumstances—especially at Cameron’s expense.

  “I’m sorry you don’t feel well,” she said. “Maybe we should take you home and let you rest while we finish the sleigh ride.”

  Ashley darted an anxious look at Kendra who sank back into the seat. Cameron glanced up at Marti from beneath knit eyebrows. Rick didn’t say a word, but she could feel his eyes on her, watching, assessing silently. Tom just looked miserable.

  “No,” Lynette said, trying to sound weak. “I’ll be all right if we can just be quiet for a few minutes.”

  She sent Lynette a tight smile. “But it would be a shame to ruin the sleigh ride for the kids just because you’re not feeling well. It’s almost impossible to be out on a night like this and be silent.”

  Lynette glared at her. “I’ll be fine in a few minutes. In fact, I’m already starting to feel much better.”

  “I’m so glad.”

  Turning her smile on the kids, she took up the song where they’d left off. Cameron would probably hate her for losing control. She’d probably embarrassed him beyond forgiveness.

  CAMERON LISTENED to his mom sing alone for a few seconds. She didn’t have a very good voice, but for some weird reason, he didn’t care. She sounded good tonight.

  He watched as Rick put an arm around her shoulders and smiled at her. Cameron knew what that smile meant—he’d seen smiles like it often enough to know Rick really liked his mom. Maybe even loved her. But all of a sudden, he didn’t mind that, either.

  He’d felt like a dork when Kendra’s mom said his singing gave her a headache. But his mom had stuck up for him. He couldn’t remember her doing anything like that for a long, long time. But she’d done it tonight.

  A few flakes of snow fell onto his eyelashes. He blinked them away and leaned back against the sleigh’s side and smiled to himself. Weird, but she actually looked kind of pretty tonight. And she was lots nicer when she was around Rick than when she was around his dad—even Cameron had to admit that. Probably because Rick was so much nicer to her than his dad. Rick didn’t talk to her like she was an idiot. And he didn’t act annoyed by everything she did or said.

  For the first time since the divorce, Cameron thought maybe he understood his mom a little. He didn’t like people talking to him like he was stupid, so why would his mom like it?

  She smiled at him from across the sleigh, but she looked nervous, as if she thought he might be mad at her. He smiled back, just to show her he wasn’t, and started singing with her.

  “Then, he smiled at me, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum...”

  Just like always, she got tears in her eyes. She looked away, as if she didn’t want Cameron to see her crying. Funny, the way she did that, as if knowing that she was proud of him would make him mad. He didn’t mind her crying. In fact, he kind of liked it. He’d just always figured it would sound dumb to admit it.

  But maybe one of these days, he thought, he’d tell her. Maybe she’d like that. Maybe it would make her smile.

  WHILE TOM AND LYNETTE hurried toward the cabin to start cocoa, Rick swung Ashley down from the sleigh then turned to give Marti a hand. Thick snowflakes drifted from the sky and landed on her cheeks and eyelashes. Her breath painted the night sky with frost. Her smile seemed to take the place of the stars. Looking at her like this made it harder than ever to remember his vow to give her time to work things out with Cameron. He wanted her—by his side and in his bed.

  She took his hand almost shyly. “Thank you.”

  He glanced over his shoulder to make sure all the kids had moved out of earshot, then grinned up at her and held her in place beside the sleigh. “I’ve got to tell you, that was one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time.”

  “What was?”

  “The way you handled Lynette. She’s not used to having someone call her on something like that.”

  Marti laughed softly. “I wouldn’t have said anything if she hadn’t been trying to get Cameron to stop singing.”

  “It was pretty obvious, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes, it was.”

  “Cameron seemed to appreciate what you did.”

  Uncertainty filled her eyes. “Do you think so?”

  “Of course he did,” Rick insisted. “Didn’t you see the way he looked at you? He knew what you did.”

  “Maybe.”

  Rick shook his head, suddenly irritated by her hesitation. “H
ell, Marti. Give the kid a break. So, he didn’t jump up and down and declare a truce. He smiled at you. He sang with you. What more do you want from him right now?”

  She tensed and drew her hand away. “I don’t know.”

  “Are you going to ask him to go home with you tonight?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He sighed heavily. “Ask him. He’s ready.”

  “I just don’t think I can stand it if he says no.”

  “Well, I don’t think he could stand it if you didn’t ask. Can’t you see how much he wants to know you love him?”

  She moved away from the sleigh, as if she wanted some space between them. “I do love him.”

  “I know you do, but I’m not sure he does.”

  “I’ve told him—”

  “But you don’t show him, Marti. You’re always angry with him, or maybe you’re too afraid to let him see what’s in your heart.”

  “If I am, it’s because he’s stomped on it so many times, I can’t let him see.”

  He swore softly. Softly enough that he didn’t think she could hear him, but the sound obviously carried in the silence.

  “I don’t need this from you, Rick.”

  “What? Honesty?”

  “No. Censure. Judgment.” She started away from him.

  He went after her and grabbed her arm. “I’m not judging you,” he insisted. “I just think—”

  “You think you know how to get through to my son just because he’s not angry with you,” she interrupted, whirling to face him again. “But you don’t know, Rick. You don’t know.” She tried to jerk her arm away, but he held on.

  “I know that he’s just a kid,” he said. “I know that you’re the adult, and that it’s your responsibility to take the risks in your relationship with him. Be his mother, Marti. Show him that you love him.”

  “I do love him, and he knows I do.”

  “When was the last time you hugged him?”

  She shook her head without answering.

  Rick’s heart twisted. “Don’t wait until it’s too late to fix what’s wrong between you. I waited too long to try with Jocelyn. I waited too long with my dad. I’ll never get another chance with either of them. But you’ve got a chance with Cameron. For both your sakes, don’t let anything stand in your way—especially not pride. Go find him and put your arms around him.”