by M. K. Hale
Allie cursed and bit her lip as my hot hand trailed up her skirt, my fingers inching closer and closer to those little panties I saw when she bent over in front of me earlier in the day.
She rasped, “How can you act like life is a boardroom and then say the sexiest shit like that?”
“You bring something out in me I’ve never felt before,” I admitted. “It’s scary.”
“How is it scary?” Her eyelids lowered as my palm moved up between her soft thighs, connecting with her damp lace panties.
“It’s scary because you make me forget about things I’ve worked hard to make everyone else remember. You have me sitting in class with a hard-on pressing into my jeans because I can’t stop thinking about you.” My fingers fanned out over her, caressing her soft skin and watching it jump and ripple at my touch. “You have me rereading textbook chapters because I find myself smiling and daydreaming in the middle of a paragraph, unable to remember what I just read.”
“Smiling does not sound like a bad thing—Oh, Nate, yes.” She bucked her hips up at me when my fingers slid behind the fabric of her panties.
So. Wet.
My fingers dipped into her, stirring her. “You have me smiling and jacking off every morning and every night to thoughts of you. It’s distracting like nothing else.”
“Some distractions are good.”
I inhaled more of her rose-honey scent. She was a warm, comforting tea, except in this moment she provided no comfort. But damn, she got me hot. “And are you good, Allie?” My fingers stroked over her, finding her tight, slick bundle of nerves. “Are you good for me? Because sometimes I can’t tell.”
She lifted a shaky hand to the side of my face. “I never want to be bad for you, Nate.”
I circled her clit fast, thrumming it, and she sucked in a sharp, broken breath.
“I don’t want to be bad for you either,” I said, my cock pulsing as my fingers played with her beneath the table.
“But—” She grabbed my wrist, and my fingers paused. “This is bad. There’s Ryan, and the rules, and the fact that you keep pushing me away. If we do something now and you push me away again—”
“What if I didn’t?” I asked, pinching her swollen clit and watching her chest shake. “What if I didn’t push you away?”
But I had to.
It was more than obeying rules because I liked them. I could not be with Allie because I could lose my position as an RA and not be able to save Blue from my parent’s neglect. I needed to remain platonic with Allie for my sister’s sake. For my future’s sake.
“You’re about to push me away right now, aren’t you?” she asked.
I slid my devious hand out of her damp panties and wiped my fingers on my pants. “Yeah.”
The rest of the time we were in the study room, I could not get out of my head the image of Allie spread across my bed, handcuffed to the headboard, and bucking her hips up at me with unadulterated need.
A knock on my door that night surprised me.
“Nate, hey, sorry. Um, I just…” Ryan shifted his weight and looked down. “I need to ask you something. Sorry for intruding and just laying this on you, but I need to know.”
“What’s up?”
I knew what he was going to ask. I knew it, and I dreaded it.
“I really like Allie, so I need to know—is something going on between you two?”
I should have told him yes. I should have told him something had been going on since the moment I had first seen her, first talked to her, first kissed her. I wanted nothing more than to have “something going on” with Allie Parser. I fucking dreamed about her. Breathed her. She understood me, and I understood her.
But that’s not what I said. I lacked the bravery to tell the truth.
Is something going on between you two?
I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth. “No.”
Chapter 19
Allie:
* * *
I had resumed writing my psychology paper about Nate after we had become friends because it was already so close to being finished, and whenever I thought about analyzing anyone else, no one as complex and fascinating came to mind. I had learned a lot about him, but I still needed to know more.
My paper focused on the troublesome and complicated relationship Nate had with his father, but I needed more to accomplish the level of analysis my psychology professor expected. I needed a phenomenal grade on that final paper.
Guilt still pained me for choosing Nate as the subject of my paper while still trying to be a real friend to him, but I would tell him. Sometime. He would understand. If anything, it would be a compliment, right? That I had chosen him?
Damn it.
I felt guilty about Ryan because of Nate. I felt guilty about Nate because of the paper. I felt guilty about Gavin because I had lied about my messed up, complicated romantic feelings.
“Roommate!” Marissa cheered as she stepped into our room for the first time in a week and took me from my thoughts. I still could not believe her parents paid for a dorm room she did not use. Her boyfriend must be used to her living with him every night. “Oh my God.” She stopped and fanned herself. “Why is it so hot in here?”
“I think the heater is broken,” I explained.
I sat at my desk in nothing but short shorts and a thin black camisole, and even I was sweating. The building had switched from air conditioning to heat with the start of the fall season, but now our room boiled and bubbled and toiled and troubled. For the past three nights in a row, I’d had steamy sex dreams about Nate with no way to cool down since the room was ninety-five degrees. The lightheadedness affected my ability to do homework.
“This is terrible,” Marissa complained. “It feels like a sauna in here.”
“Saunas sound enjoyable. I would say it feels more like the evil witch’s oven in Hansel and Gretel.”
“Did you tell Nate about it?”
“What?” Seeing Nate only ever made me feel hotter.
“He’s the RA. He’s supposed to deal with problems like this. He’ll fill out a report and call the maintenance man for you and everything.” She picked up a folder on her desk and resumed fanning herself. “Dang, I was thinking I would sleep here tonight, but this is unbearable.” Fantastic, leave me to myself to deal with it. Not like it’s your room too. Great, now the heat was making me bitter. “How have you been able to sleep with it this hot?”
“I haven’t been sleeping well, I guess.”
“Do you want me to tell Nate—”
“No, I’ll do it.”
The room became even hotter. By six o’clock, I was strutting around in a sports bra and the smallest pair of shorts known to man. The heat exhausted me so much I did not think to care about walking out of my room and into the hallway in so little clothing. I did not think about it until I heard Nate’s shocked voice stutter at me.
“Allie.” His bright, sky-blue eyes ate me up. “What—What are you wearing?”
I cut right to the chase. “My room is a toaster.”
His gaze still worked down my almost bare body. “What?”
“If I spend longer than thirty minutes inside of it at a time, I’ll burn to a crisp.”
“I don’t understand.” He was surprised again when I grabbed his hand and pulled him to my room. “I don’t think this is—Whoa. It’s so hot in here.”
“Tell me about it.” I let out a deep sigh and leaned back on the wall. The heat and lack of sleep due to the heat made me so tired; my eyelids shut of their own volition and opened when he broke the small silence.
“Is your heater broken?”
“That would be my first guess.”
He strode over to it and examined the knob and buttons. “How long has it been this way?”
“Um…three days, I think?” With my sleeping problems, the nights were blurring together.
“Your room has been this hot for three days?” Anger claimed his face. “How have you been able to study or s
leep?” I swayed against the wall when my head went a little dizzy. “Whoa.” Nate caught me before I even realized I was falling. “Allie?” He raised a hand and put it on my forehead. “Jesus, you’re overheated. You must be completely dehydrated.”
“I guess I should drink some water.”
“You realize you can’t even stand up on your own?”
“What? That’s crazy.” His hands left my waist, and before I knew it, I slid down to the floor. “Well, darn.”
Nate caught me again, and this time scooped me up into his strong arms. “Allie, you can’t stay in this room tonight. Even if I call someone to come fix it, it would still be too hot until it airs out.”
“Where else am I supposed to go?”
He was already carrying me to his room. My side collided with his hard muscles and my dry mouth still watered at his strength. Once we were inside, he sat me down on his chair in front of his desk.
Nate leaned close and scanned my every inch. “Your face is red.”
“Psh, your face is red,” I shot back and realized it was the worst comeback of my lifetime.
“I think you’re suffering from exhaustion and dehydration.”
“Sounds bad.”
“You need water,” he said. He grabbed a bottle of ice-cold water from his fridge and threw it at me. My vision blurred, so I missed, and it fell to the floor. “Sorry.”
I picked up the water and opened the lid. Taking my first sip, I misjudged how far away it was from my mouth and spilled a decent amount of the water down my chest. I would have blushed if the blood had not already been pounding in my cheeks from heat exposure. Nate probably thought I looked like a mess. More skin showed than fabric; my hair was up in a messy bun, my body slick with sweat, and now water soaked me.
“Really?” I asked God. Everything embarrassing always happened to me in front of Nate.
“I have a towel you can borrow,” he used such a low voice, it took me a moment to decipher whether he had said anything at all.
I followed his dark gaze to my soaked sports bra and realized the cold water had hardened my nipples through the material. I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced around the room, refusing to make eye contact with him.
“Thanks.” I was uncomfortable. Recently, every dream I’d had was an X-rated film starring Nate. I had to keep telling myself that Ryan was the one I was dating, and just friendship was allowed for Nate and me. Nate made it clear again and again how he wanted to be friends and nothing more. So why was he looking at me with enough heat in his eyes to warm Canada in the winter? “Maybe I should go—”
“Allie, you can’t go back in that room. It’s dangerous to be in dry heat for so long.” He frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me that was happening?”
“Well, the first day, I thought it would stop; and then the second day, I thought for sure it would stop; and then today, I decided I would just physically melt into a puddle and escape all my problems.”
“I think your plans had some holes in them.” He smiled at me before becoming serious again. Classic Nate. “Allie, why didn’t you tell me about it?”
I sighed. What was I supposed to say? I like being your friend, but the more we are around each other, the more I feel things I know you don’t feel and don’t want me to feel. So, I just thought it would be easier to deal with it myself first if I could because even though I love how close we’ve become, it is getting harder to be around you and not want to jump your bones.
“I really should go,” I said and stood up, trying to escape the situation. Pausing after a wave of dizziness flooded me, I stumbled to his door to leave.
“Sleep here.” His words almost made me faint.
Had I misheard him? “What?”
“You should sleep here tonight.” Still, he would not look at me. His burning eyes were glued to the ground, and he appeared…nervous. “You can’t go back to your room, you’ll pass out.”
“Maybe Gavin—”
“Gavin has a roommate; there would not be room for you. My bed is bigger than the normal ones because I have a single.”
“Ryan has a single too. I could—”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“He’s my boyfriend,” I said both to remind him and myself. Sleeping with Nate? Was this moment another realistic dream? Would this end the same way those had? No. Ryan deserved better. This was just Nate being his version of a gentleman and looking out for my well-being.
“I know.” He met my eyes, this time with a tortured expression on his face. “You’re staying in my room tonight. End of discussion,” he said.
“So fucking bossy.” It made me want him even more.
“So…”
“So.”
Saying we would sleep together, in just the strict dictionary’s definition of “sleep,” was easier said than done. We stood on either side of the bed staring at one another as if waiting for one of us to chicken out. I could not make Nate sleep on the floor in his own room, but no way was I lying on the tile. My exhausted body needed a comfortable bed more than oxygen.
I sank onto his mattress and swallowed a moan when his cool sheets met my warm skin. All the muscles in my body relaxed. Damn, how was his bed so soft? I wanted to lay in it forever.
“Ar-Are these silk sheets?”
He continued to stand at the side of the bed, watching me roll around in comfy delight. “Yeah.”
I stretched and threw my head back against a pillow he had let me borrow. “This feels so good.”
A quiet noise came from him in response.
“Are you going to come in?”
“Come in?” he croaked. I felt bad for drinking so much of his water. Rehydrating had helped decrease the dizziness and cooled me down.
“In bed.”
I twisted to make as much room for him as possible. It would be safest if no part of us touched during the night. I did not want to wake up with me straddling him as I slept through another sex dream. Oh God, please don’t let me have another sex dream. A couple of days ago, I had thought I heard a moan from Nate’s side of the wall as if he had heard me, but he never mentioned it.
Nate climbed in next to me and laid flat on his back; his intense gaze fastened to his ceiling like it was a piece of abstract art.
“Sorry for messing up your night. It means a lot that you’re letting me stay here.” Of course, it was more like he was making me stay there, considering he vetoed my other options. Still, I appreciated it. He always helped me and expected nothing in return. He helped me with Logan; he helped me with studying; he helped me have a place to sleep while my room cooled off.
“You are not messing up my night,” he whispered and turned on his side to look at me. I forced myself not to cuddle up closer to him.
This was going to be tough.
Nate’s hand was between my legs again. My eyes rolled into the back of my head at his sensual touch. How was he so good at this? How was he so good at everything? He exiled every other thought from my mind.
“Nate,” I moaned, and he masked my sound by covering my lips with a passionate, searing kiss.
“That’s my good girl.”
My legs curled around his waist, and I gasped at the bulge rubbing right where I needed him. Nate pressed himself harder against me, gyrating and grinding to create delicious friction over my core.
I yelped and urged him to thrust against me even harder. My hands drifted down his toned chest, exploring him.
“Allie,” Nate called out my name and bucked against me with less of a stable rhythm. Losing himself in me.
His rubbing between my legs became faster; my thighs tightened to keep him there forever.
“Yes, Nate.” I panted and moaned more than I breathed. “So close. You’re. So. Good—”
“Oh God, Allie.” Nate’s hoarse voice broke me out of my dream, and I woke up covered in sweat. “Fuck,” he whispered, staring down at me.
I realized the pressure
between my legs had not gone away. Glancing down, I saw my hand rubbing myself. I also saw Nate squeezing himself through his boxers.
“I-I’m sorry.” Tearing my hand from between my legs, I wondered if someone could fade into oblivion from mortification. I’d had a sex dream and touched myself in his bed. What would he think of me now? “I don’t think we should be friends anymore.” “You don’t seem to understand that I don’t want this.” My brain pummeled my ego with the possibilities of his response.
What he said next shocked me to the bone and turned me on like never before. “Don’t.” Nate groaned, his expression scrunching in pain as his eyes locked below my waist. “Please don’t stop, Allie.”
My shallow breathing had no chance to calm as it picked up again at his words.
“Just finish.” His hand slipped under his boxers and mine moved back to the front of my lace panties.
“I-I—” What was there to do? The unbearable pulsing between my legs sped up as he looked at me.
“I need this,” he grated through a tortured expression. The pleading in his voice broke me, and my hand disappeared between my legs yet again. “That’s it, rub harder.” His breathlessness and darkened eyes thrilled me along. “Fast little circles right over your throbbing, little clit.” I did what he said, and my sex pulsed and throbbed its approval under my fingers. “Such a good girl.”
My toes curled at his words. A part of me wanted to laugh at learning how professional control-freak Nate excelled in dirty talk.
“Fuck, Allie.” His arm shifted faster, the muscles and veins in it flexing, tensing, and ticking. His hand stroked himself from inside his boxers. He was as close as me. “You see what you do to me?” he rasped. “Can’t keep my hands off my fucking self when you moan like that.”
I moaned again. Just to see if the cause and effect were real. It was.
His eyes hooded as we touched ourselves and panted onto each other’s skin. “I can see your eyes glazing over, you’re as close as me,” he rasped. “You like watching me lose control, Parser?”